GHHD 2013

Well, GHHD #1 has come and gone this year. [1]Gay High Holy Day  This year was especially significant due the recent rulings of Prop 8 and DOMA, both of which got the axe! (More on those later)

My personal pride was somewhat subdued. I think I was so emotionally worn out from the day of the ruling, I just couldn’t muster super excitement. That is not to say I wasn’t happy. Anyway, I noticed a large number of straight people at the events this year. The number of straights in attendance has been increasing dramatically in recent years but this year seemed even more so. (More on that in another post)

I always go early to the events because I don’t like the drunkenness that ensues later on. Plus it isn’t yet unbearably busy. For a social person, I get really frustrated in cramped crowd environments. Anyway, the party was busy very early and since I had Cooper I had to take him home and come back. The most striking thing about the Pink party was the couples. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed so many couples before. Maybe it was the significance of the weekend but it really seemed like a lot more couples were in attendance. A good thing of course. I mention it only because I was struck by it.

I admit I had a moment of sadness for being single. I was a single guy surrounded by couples and I do like being coupled. But, then I remembered I am single not because I have to be but because I choose to be. When a guy comes along that compliments me in the way I need/want, then I’ll couple up again. I have no desire to be in a LTR just to avoid being lonely. It is a recipe for disaster and never ends well. So I pushed my momentary sadness away and embraced the freedom that I had and so rightly deserved.

Of course, Pride is barely over and many are whining about “do we need pride anymore?”  Yes we do. Just because it is no longer a benefit to you, doesn’t mean we do away with it. But more on that later too.

There was some bad news this year as well. Two shootings happened right outside the fair. It appears they weren’t straight on gay crime but details are still emerging. Two people were shot and so far both are expected to recover. This saddens me. While we welcome straights, often times as their numbers increase, so does the crime. And I’m not saying gays are less prone to crime than straights. But there is a fundamental difference between a drunk straight and gay guy. Gay guys usually just want to get laid, not start fights. They might read you to filth for some unknown slight vs trying to beat you up or shoot you. I’m not sure what the answer is here but I worry the outcome will be much like our old Halloween parties…shut it down. I hope not.

Now that it is over, I have plenty on my mind and even more to rant about. It certainly gave me blog fodder for a couple weeks. lol

I hope you all had a safe and loving pride, even if you didn’t celebrate or care.

References

References
↑1 Gay High Holy Day

Three

Little Cooper turned three this past weekend. We’d originally planned to celebrate on Sunday but the day was rainy and Cooper was in one of his mellow moods so we called it a lazy day on the couch together. He also got extra treats and a rare night sleeping in the  bed with Daddy.

I know I’ve blathered on about him here plenty. I can’t help it, I’m a proud pappa. To say he has settled into his life with me would be an understatement. He is happy and enjoys the life he lives. His only complaint would be Daddy doesn’t let him eat like the pig he would like to be. lol

He inspires me in so many ways and never ceases to make me laugh. Be it his run and flip back scratches in the morning, his “Speedy Gonzales” style runs, or just the soulful loving look in his eyes, the dog is a wonder to have around. Of course, looking at the picture you’d never believe he can run like a cat when is motivated. lol

It was because of him [1]and Spike that I decided to start volunteering at the local SPCA a while back. I’ve given plenty of time, energy, and money for humans in my life. It’s time I devote some of my energies to doggies. I see so many wonderful doggies in the shelter, it can be heart-wrenching at times. It also makes me angry that humans can be so callous or uncaring for their animals. The abuse and abandonment really sets me blood on fire at times. But, I get to help out in many ways. I spend time with the dogs, I help feed and walk them. I just spend time letting them know some humans do care. The SF SPCA is a no-kill shelter which makes it all the better that so many people give up their time and love to help the dogs. And while it can be sad at times, overall it is a wonderful experience. Seeing someone go home with a new pet is quite joy-inspiring.

On a side note, The shelter just happened to get a bully recently. Bullies are special needs dogs so they usually end up with specialty orgs that deal specifically with the breed. Anyway, I nagged the staffing coordinator to let me see her even though she was still in quarantine and not really open to be visited. [2]All dogs/cats get quarantined when they first arrive to test for infections/diseases before they get put in with the other animals. Her name was Maya and so sweet. She was malnourished a bit but otherwise in good shape. Like most bullies she was immediately ready to give/receive attention. So sweet and affectionate. She was in good shape w/few visible signs of problems that are prone to bullies. I honestly don’t think she’ll be in the shelter very long. I’m just hoping I get to spend one more day with her this coming weekend. If not, I’ll be happy she got adopted, but I so want to love on her some more first. I posted a link to her profile on my FB and Google page.

And as always, if you are considering getting an animal, rescue don’t buy. At the very least, check out the rescue shelters a few times before you decide to buy one. Chances are very high you’ll find the type of dog you want that really needs a good home. You’ll also spend a lot less money rescuing vs buying from a breeder.

Anyway, I’m getting off on a rant and not my point. Cooper is an adult now. He has not exhibited any signs of eye or ear problems yet. White bullies are very prone to deafness and/or blindness. While he does have some issues with certain tones, overall he hears (and sees) just fine. I’m hoping he stays that way, not that I would love him any less regardless.

We move into his third year optimistic and excited about the future together. I don’t know how I’m gonna survive 10 days w/o him in November when I go on vacation. If I could afford it, I’d bring him with me. He’d steal all the attention of course. lol

References

References
↑1 and Spike
↑2 All dogs/cats get quarantined when they first arrive to test for infections/diseases before they get put in with the other animals.

Service

20130615_172954_Hancock StAnd before you hoes go getting all excited, it ain’t nothing dirty. lol I thought I’d take a moment to send a shout out to Reebok.

See I decided to treat myself a while back and order some custom color shoes. The picture you see is the end result, of which I am extremely happy with.

As is bound to happen, there was a hiccup along the way. Apparently, when you ship via FedEx, you can’t ship to a PO Box. Well, nothing on the website said as much, no errors were generated, etc so I proceeded as planned. I got a tracking number for my package and all was good.

Four weeks goes by and no package. Delivery was projected at ‘3-5 weeks’. I pull up my tracking number and was surprised my package had been delivered! Even more bizarre, it was delivered to an address in Massachusetts. I’m thinking they just gave me the wrong tracking number. I call up and it was my tracking number. Since they don’t ship to PO Boxes, it got sent to their main US distribution center, which in turn popped it into the regular mail.

You can imagine my frustration at this point. One, my packaged had to be remailed after I paid for FedEx shipping. Two, why didn’t they just have their site setup to prevent such snafus or at the very least warn you. The rep was very nice and apologized and explained my order had been reshipped and should be arriving soon. At this point, I’m disappointed and not really impressed with their company.

I hang up and about 5 minutes later the rep actually calls me back. This by itself was a huge surprise. When does a company ever call the customer anymore? The girl explained that since it was their fault with the shipping options and I was about to go over my 5 week window that she was going to refund my shipping charge. I was very gracious and thanked her profusely for the consideration and call back.

Having never had any direct interaction with Reebok as a company, this left me with a very positive view of them as a whole. I don’t know if this is they’re standing policy or if the rep just went above and beyond to make a customer happy. Either way, as a first time customer, I came away with a good impression and a willingness to become a repeat customer. You just don’t see this anymore. Reebok is a global brand and to see this type of attention to customer satisfaction was refreshing and totally unexpected. I guess years of shitty service from companies has conditioned med to expect the worst. It is nice to discover not all big companies totally bail on customer satisfaction. So here’s a shout out to Reebok for getting it right!

Pride-less

I don’t know if it is a trend or if maybe I’m just noticing it more but I have noticed a rather vocal mix of gays who are distancing themselves from this years Pride celebration. I say ‘distancing’ to basically cover the fact we are becoming just like those who hate us more and more every day. I guess we really are moving into mainstream because we’re certainly becoming less and less tolerant every day. How very normal of us. Well, if that is what it takes to be considered normal, you can keep it.

Of course you hear the usual arguments, “Those people are so over the top” or “I just don’t feel like they represent me.” Let me spell out what should be completely obvious. If I wanna wrap myself in tin foil and where a pink tutu swinging from the highest float in the parade that doesn’t negate or reduce my right to equality. You don’t have to be my best friend, be my friend, or even like me but that doesn’t mean I am any more/less deserving than you. No one’s right to equality should depend on anyone else’s personal disapproval. Conformity is not a prerequisite to equality.

From my perspective, when I hear “I just don’t identify with Pride celebrations anymore. They don’t represent who I am”, to me that is just code for saying, “Now that I have a decent amount of rights, I’m indifferent and can’t be bothered anymore.” How many straight allies would we have if they were all so indifferent? Like it or not, many of those people helped jump start our movement. It might be an inconvenient truth but it is still the truth.

The irony here is I’ve always said that the more vocal and visible don’t always represent the bulk of our community. I still say that. Let me step beyond my irritation for a moment and get to the point of my little ramble today. The gist I get from many of these rants is that they see only the people IN the parade. What about the thousands or hundreds of thousands in the audience? THEY are the true representation of our very diverse community. The parade is just the reason to sell tickets and get you out the door. [1]And yes it needs a sensational component to sell those tickets.  I would argue when you look down your nose and avoid it, you are the one doing the harm. You are denying those coming up behind us from seeing their life’s struggles reflected in your eyes. You are the one keeping the focus on the more sensational and/or seedy parts of our community. We have more rights now than we’ve ever had in this country. And we are on the cusp of truly breaking down the inequalities inflicted upon us in law. But true representation requires attendance from the varied paths within to exist. When you do not participate you remove part of that representation from the equation. And frankly, when you walk away or don’t participate you give up the right to bitch about it.

I still remember the overwhelming connection I felt at my first few Prides. It wasn’t because I identified with everyone in the parades, it was because I saw masses of people who were like me. I didn’t feel alone anymore. Those singular moments were very empowering. I would never willingly deny that to anyone coming up behind me.

Whether you celebrate Pride or not, don’t tear down those who do attend simply because you disagree with their choices or particular flair expressing themselves. While they may not be a true representation of our community, at least they show up.

References

References
↑1 And yes it needs a sensational component to sell those tickets.

Crapper

This week hit the crapper at full force. As previously mentioned, 2 1/2 weeks worth of work got summarily wiped out on Monday. Tuesday I got the bad news it could not be recovered. Cooper bashed his eye into an Agave plant and almost blinded himself. A douche bag on FB sent me a message whining about my motivational gym check-ins. Surprisingly, after my very public reply he no longer follows me. Tsk, tsk. And the last two days have been completely unproductive from either hardware or software problems. I was tired of “If this or If that” logic statements anyway.

But all is not lost. On the flip side, one of my moons must be in the right “house” this month because I’ve been getting a lot of attention. Happily, that part of my life has been busy and a welcome distraction. Between the gym and my other exertions is it any wonder I dropped another belt notch? [1]Ok, I’m showing off a little.  It has gone along way toward preventing me from telling our developer exactly how far up his anatomy I wanted to shove my foot.

I’m glad it is Friday and am actually considering libations of the alcoholic persuasion tonight, after the gym of course. I didn’t go down two belt-notches to blow it on booze belly.

I had planned to go see Superman with the SF Movie Bears this next Wednesday. Sadly, schedule conflicts have ruined that as well. I’ll have to try and sell off my ticket. I’ll probably end up going this weekend instead. I am not a big fan of remakes of remakes of remakes but the previews looked really good. We shall see.

Cooper appears to be fine. His eye is still bothering him but it’s already healing and there doesn’t seem to be any damage to the eyeball. As mentioned, said plant will receive a “makeover” this weekend.

Ok, that’s all my bitchin for now. Happy weekend hookahs.

References

References
↑1 Ok, I’m showing off a little.

Eye

So Cooper being his normal silly self ran into the thorns on the enormous agave plant in our backyard tonight.  The moment he finishes his business he loves to bolt and run all the way to the top of the back stairs. Tonight as he bolted, he hit the plant. He didn’t yelp but I could tell something was wrong as he stopped mid gait and bent down low for a second. He then proceeded to run like normal.

I cleaned the wound and thoroughly examined his eye. Not only did he cut his eyelid he managed to actually nick his eyeball. There is a slight scratch on the lens. Now that I’ve had a few minutes to stop freaking out, he seems ok. While you can see a tiny scratch, he doesn’t seem to have actually done any real damage to his eye. There’s no leakage or deformation…thankfully.

I was almost in tears hugging him with relief. God help me if something ever happens to him I’m gonna be a total mess. Anyway, I’m gonna let him sleep it off and see how he looks in the morning. He’s gonna get a rare treat and sleep with daddy tonight. If anything looks worse in the morning, we’ll be off to the vet. He doesn’t seem to be in any discomfort at all so I’m breathing a cautious sigh of relief.

The plant will receive a thorough butchering this weekend. I’d just as soon rip it out but it ain’t mine. I can guarantee it’s leaves will never droop low enough to ever hurt Cooper again though.

Project

I was all set to write about how fabulous the work was going on my project until yesterday. I lost 2 1/2 weeks of data that was very tedious, involved, and complex to get into the system. To say I was upset would be putting it mildly. Once I figured out what went wrong and why I was so incredibly furious I had to leave work. Seriously, it was that or start cussing people out. And since I value my job, I took off early.

I’m using an add-on software that communicates with the primary software on the server. Well it is supposed to. Apparently, there was a domain resolution conflict between the server access and my terminal access. One side was set direct w/no need to access DNS resolution. One side was set to depend on DNS resolution. Of course, at the time I am unaware of any of this. Since I don’t control installations, it’s not really something I’d be expected to know.

After we push to production, I notice data is missing. I reload the add-on software and the work I spent so much time entering is gone. Two hours later it’s obvious the data is unrecoverable. I revert to my backup to recover the lost data. And here is where stupidity rears it’s ugly head. I load my backup and it’s basically empty. After some intensive research and more than a little frustration, I discover the flaw. Apparently, the software decided to ignore my direct saves to my backup folder and save internally to a cached file. And here is where it really gets juicy. The moment I opened my backup copy it overwrites the internal cache wiping my work. No notice, no pop up, nothing. It just overwrites the cache. To say this is a stupid bug in the software would be an understatement. I pulled up the journal entry and sure enough it just re-saved to the same file twice every day. The first save was the default save and when I used ‘save as’ and pathed out my backup folder, it just overwrote the internal cache file. Utterly stupid.

So yeah, 2 1/2 weeks of work down the tubes. And while I’m sure the bug will get fixed, that does nothing for me now. There is no ‘undo’ function and since the data never made it to the server database, it can’t be pulled back. At least this time around, I know the material better and will have to do less trial and error. I mean building calls to restricted confidential databases requires a lot of specialty message keys. I kept great notes as well so the rebuild won’t take as long but will be just as tedious. I’ve also created a sync call for the cache copies of said files to avoid this painful bug in the future.

On a good note, I was so angry I had a killer workout at the gym. lol I baked my chest and triceps to the point of almost not being able to put my shirt on afterwards.

 

Priority

I ran into a casual friend the other day and he got upset with me because I wouldn’t ditch the gym to go drink with him. I don’t mean just disappointed but actually upset, storming away in a huff upset.

First, we know each other from around town. We are friends on a couple social sites but we don’t engage that often. We just tend to travel on different paths. We have had a couple decent talks and they’re always cordial. Most of our interactions are often by happenstance so I was kinda surprised that he would get upset. He has never reached out to me directly to build a stronger connection. [1]And to be fair the same is true of me.  So to suddenly get upset when I wouldn’t just ditch my plans to go drinking was a surprise to me.

After a rather short but odd conversation, he proceeded to tell me, “I do not think we should really be friends anymore. You obviously care more about being narcassitic and shallow than actually being a friend.”  Yes, that bitch actually said that to me!  He then proceeded to storm away in a huff and promptly remove me from his friend lists. I guess he thought he was teaching me a lesson. All I have to say to his behavior is “squish-squish darling, squish-squish.” [2]A reference to AbFab where Adina fakes crying for Saphie”  Seriously. lol I mean it would have been different if you were a good friend that I rarely see or someone who changed their plans to spend time with me, etc. This wasn’t any of that. We ran into each other on the street, he asked me to go drink, I politely declined because I was headed to the gym, and suddenly I’m a shallow uncaring friend? In what alternate reality?

For someone who was so butt-hurt at my unavailability, he obviously doesn’t read le blog or any of my social updates. Clearly, you weren’t THAT into me if you haven’t taken any time to read up on me, of sorts. lol Maybe had he taken the time to reach out to me and actually MAKE plans we could have gone drinking. I certainly enjoy an occassional trip to liquor-ville. If my friendship was so important then he would have made more of an effort. He would have made it a priority. Then I could have at least understood the dramatics. 

I don’t believe it was ever about the gym. It was about the inferred insult he assumed when I wouldn’t drop everything on a a whim to spend time with him. He either felt like I should be honored he offered or he was just insecure. Either way, not my drama, not my problem. And had he not flown off the handle I would have offered to schedule a raincheck. Fat chance in hell that will happen now.

References

References
↑1 And to be fair the same is true of me.
↑2 A reference to AbFab where Adina fakes crying for Saphie”

Weight

Playing with the title from my last post. So, I’m back up to 198lbs. And since I’m now down TWO belt-notch on my britches, I’m assuming the weight gain is muscle vs fat. hehehe  Last Friday, I inadvertently grabbed a pair of jeans I hadn’t worn in awhile. And by awhile, I mean I haven’t worn them in over 3 years because my fat-ass wouldn’t fit. Imagine my surprise to discover later in the day they were my skinny jeans! Needless to say, it made my Friday. I’m still a few pounds away from dropping comfortably into a new pant size. One, I like my pants to fit comfy, not super tight and two, wearing tight pants can lead to a false muffin-top. And we can’t have that!

I’m still battling my little belly pooch though. That fucker is holding on for dear life. I have reached a point where the weight loss just from eating better has stopped. I guess I’m really gonna have to do some sort of cardio if I really wanna get any leaner. And speaking of cardio, I dusted off my pair of rollerblades the other day. The skates are practically brand new. I bought’em right after I moved to SF and then promptly stopped using them. Yes, I know it’s probably not cool anymore but when did I ever care about that? Skating is an excellent full body and cardio workout and I love doing it. Before moving to SF, I’d spend an entire afternoon skating. Anyway, I did a pretty decent job remembering the skill but need some practice.  Cooper apparently loves my skates! He chased me up/down the street several times before he finally got tuckered out. I’m beginning to think I may have to actually invest in a skateboard for him. There are plenty of spaces here where I can take him and not worry about his safety. Hell, the MUNI yard in south of Market is just one big ole empty parking lot during the day. And they recently repaved so it is super smooth.

I switched to a new routine at the gym with mostly super-sets. OMG, I left the gym this week feeling like my chest was truly baked! I almost never leave feeling that way on chest day. My muscles adapt pretty quickly and I always have a need to find creative ways to tax them more. The super-sets are most definitely helping. The down side is trying to do super-sets on different benches in a very busy gym. I may have to move my workouts to later to make it work. So far, it hasn’t been too difficult but I think I’ve just gotten lucky so far.

Wait

I’m getting a little irritated with the invasiveness of technology at the gym these days. More and more guys are getting buried in their phones not paying attention. I’ve reached a point now where I immediately walk up and ask a person how many sets they have left. It puts them on notice someone else is waiting on the bench. You can either choose to share or you can focus on your workout and then get off of it. I don’t mind waiting but I’m sick of seeing guys just hang out endless on a machine.

And for the Fitness SF haters, it is just as true at the 24-hour gyms. Seriously, WTF? I use my phone at the gym. I text, I surf, etc. But I’m also running a workout timer between every set. The moment my timer dings, I stop whatever I’m doing and do my effin’ set! And when I’m done, I get my ass off the bench so someone else can use it. In other words, I respect the fact I am not the only person in the gym trying to get a good workout in. And I even respect not everyone might be as dedicated or at my level of working out. I am as friendly and sharing as I can be to others. But I’m so over others not returning the favor. I’ve never been a big fan of negative peer pressure but I’m beginning to rethink that now. And the next fucker who cops an attitude after I politely ask you how many sets he has left is gonna discover just how cray-cray I can get. I have no shame and will clown the fuck out of you in front of the entire gym. We all pay dues. You don’t get to park you’re ass on a bench for 15-20 mins w/o so much as lifting a weight and then throw shade when someone asks to work in.

Maybe now that I have to go during peak times, I’m just noticing it more. Has it been this bad for awhile?