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131-picsayI’m home from the cruise. It was an absolute blast. There were a plethora of observations I made on a variety of subjects that will give birth for good blog fodder in the coming weeks. For now, I’m having a busy week at work and still playing catch up so very little time to sit down and put words to screen.

It was great to see two of my besties and hang with them. Our friendships just ‘are’, for lack of a better word. It was as if we’d just seen each other the day before.

By the 5th day into the 7-day trip I was ready to come home. Mostly, as you can guess, because I missed The Pup. I won’t be doing a trip like this again without him, that is for sure. I’m glad he didn’t let me cancel the trip but I was pretty ready to be home. He was ready for me to be home too. My poor guy was pretty lonesome for me as well it seems. He met me at the MUNI station with Cooper in tow and I almost burst into tears of happiness. And I think we’re stronger than ever, if that’s even possible. hehehe

I have to go but definitely more to say later.

Cards

Ok. It’s getting to be that time again. You all know I don’t make a big production over Christmas but I do send out cards like crazy. I always hear comments that people miss my post asking for address updates so I’m starting earlier this year.

If you’d like a card, send me your mailing address by email, text, phone, or social media. Don’t post it here obviously. lol I’ll ask again before I send’em out but I figured I’d try to give everyone a heads up early this time.

I’ve given up trying to keep lists because every year I seem to misplace my list. I either get a new gadget or I simply can’t find the damn file. Arrrgh!

I got several cards back last year so even if you think I have your address, please update me.

On a side note, Cooper has decided to help me this year. You’ve been warned! hehehe

Cruise

I’m leaving for vacation tomorrow. My first real trip away in almost 4 years. I got to go see my brother a while back but I was also on a work trip so I couldn’t really do much or stay long. And let’s face it, doing family visits is not a vacation. hahaha

Anyway, I’m doing the Atlantis cruise to Puerto Vallarta and Cabo for 5 days. My two besties from back home are going as well. It promises to be an event. I hope those homos can survive the three of us together for 5 whole days in one place! Those two dirty snatches are just evil and I’m the only sane one in the bunch. [1]You totes believe that right?  And I finally get to use my passport for something other than a 2nd form of ID.

I’ve been planning this trip since last year and I must admit I am excited, part of me is anyway. Finances were a mess last year and I honestly wasn’t sure if it was wise to plan such a costly trip. But, it all worked out thankfully. My finances are still a bear but I’m well on top of them and even got a consolidation loan recently to tie everything together. I’ve worked OT off/on for the last few months to help pay for the cost so it won’t dent my normal budget at all.

Part of me is a tad sad because The Pup can’t go. I could have gotten him a ticket (half price even) but with his transfer being so fresh and moving into the holiday season, he just couldn’t get the time off. I’d tinkered with the idea of canceling but he forbade me from doing so. Now that it’s here, I’m glad he did. I’m excited to get away but I’m also excited to see my friends. I haven’t seen either of them in years and I truly miss their dirty snatches. I wish they both could move and live here with me. [2]Though I doubt SF would survive the event.  I’m also very happy to have a partner who doesn’t me doing it w/o him.  He is perfectly fine with me going. Besides, we’ve been inseparable since he got here, he probably wants a break. hehehe That said, I still wish he was coming along. He’s become my best friend and I just hate doing it w/o him. But as he says, there is always the next trip. And yes is right,  we’ll have plenty of time to gallivant around together over the years ahead.

I have scheduled a few random posts to go live while I’m gone. No, I will not be live blogging from the cruise. The Internet ain’t cheap and the roaming for cell service is truly astronomical. I find it ironic Tmo did away with roaming from within other countries but while on a boat I’m still hit with heavy fees. I can use my cell and data from Cabo or PV w/zero extra cost but let me connect to cellular on the boat and my goose is cooked! Anyway, I’m sure I’ll have plenty of stories and pics when I get back.

Cooper isn’t going either I’m afraid. Don’t think I didn’t look into it. No, he’ll be staying home as well. The Pup and my roomie are both around to take care of him so I don’t have to worry. Luckily, even if they weren’t around I have enough local friends I could have left him with. I would not have kenneled him. He’s come a long way since I rescued him but the idea of him thinking I abandoned him would have ruined the entire trip for me. No, he’ll be home lounging for days before he knows I’m gone. Ok, not really but I’d like to think so. hehehe He’ll miss his daddy but be in excellent hands while I’m gone.

While a tiny bit sad, I am still very excited! I’m eagerly awaiting the trip and the experience!

References

References
↑1 You totes believe that right?
↑2 Though I doubt SF would survive the event.

Grey

Someone asked me via social media if I was planning to dye the grey out of my beard since it is getting more noticeable. The answer was no.

I admit, the first few stragglers were nipped out but after a bit it just seemed pointless as there were plenty coming in. I don’t mind it at all. I started greying around my ears about 10 yeas ago. That region is full on grey now. haha My beard has only gone greyish in the last year or so. It doesn’t bother me one bit.

Age comes to us all and being someone who never expected to see my 40’s, I’m perfectly fine with how I am. Seeing grey hair on other guys never bothered me when I was younger, I guess it should be no surprise it doesn’t bother me now. I’ve seen plenty of men where it even  enhances their look. I won’t go so far as to say that for myself, I just don’t mind it.

Oh sure, the vanity in me wishes I was less wrinkly, more buff, blah blah blah. Some vanity is natural but when it overtakes reason, you often see some bizarre results. Anyway, I have no plans to dye my beard, my mustache, or my remaining head hair.

So far, there hasn’t been an invasion down there. And even there I don’t think I’d mind. I’m more focused on the functional parts vs the colors, if you catch my drift. And so far (knock on wood) that function functions just fine. hehehe [1]Just ask my Pup

I know many men get all stressed over it as it shows age and is often inappropriately associated with old age. Meh, I can’t be bothered. I’m still in the best shape of my life and I’m much more focused on that. Anyone who would deign me out of reach is not my concern. It just seems so silly. I still don’t understand guys who comb their hair in odd ways to cover up their baldness. In most instances, it only makes it more noticeable. Of course, if recent research pans out, balding may become of thing of the past.

On the flip side, I don’t think less of anyone who does.  If it is that important to you then who am I to say you shouldn’t. If you don’t end up looking like a Warner brothers cartoon character and it makes you happy, I say go for it. It just isn’t for me. And what works for me doesn’t work for all. I know several guys who wash the grey out and it looks fine because they don’t go overboard with unnatural shades of color. I would argue if your attempts to combat baldness or greying make you look worse, you should just give up the fight and accept it.

Grey or no grey, I’m still just me. I can accept the signs of age even though I don’t always want them.

References

References
↑1 Just ask my Pup

Edu-ma-ka-tion

After almost 2 decades, I finally won a battle against my technical school, that may sound like eye-tee-tee, and the DOE (Dept of Education).

In a nut shell, I attended said school for a whopping two semesters before dropping out. I dropped out because I was misled by the school and the recruiter on the necessary prerequisites required. The ploy was the class didn’t require 2 years experience yet all of the instructors expected you to have it and taught based on that assumption. I’m smart but I could not overcome a 2 year difference between what was expected of me and what I had. After going thru the process, I was supposed to only be billed for the two semesters.

Fast forward to the end of my loan, I was notified I still owed more. Apparently, the school had billed me for the entire first year, or more to the point,they billed the DOE. I disputed the amount and sent in the documentation showing my attendance and termination. I heard nothing and assumed it was done.

Fast forward again to the mid 90’s, while I’m living in Colorado, I get a collection bill for the outstanding amount plus interest. It’s been almost 10 years atthis point and having survived a bout of being homeless, I could not find my copies of the original records. I call, go thru the process, and request my records from the school. The school first refuses then sends me everything but my attendance dates. I submit everything and once again hear nothing.

Fast forward one more time to earlier this year. I get a new collection notice along with a new bill for interest which is twice the actual amount being billed. I am like, “oh hell naw!” I call and dispute yet again. I get the same run around as before even after they admit they can see all the original documentation notes. Yet, w/o any of the actual copies they are unwilling to proceed. I languish in limbo while attempting to have them contact the school and get my attendance records, since the school will not send them to me. [1]Having made a dispute, legally the debt – holder has to show proof the debt is valid.  A few months go by and I hear nothing. This time I am unwilling to just ignore the problem. I call back and get more excuses. I’m feeling very annoyed and not at all content with this nonsense.

One day, I happened to be digging thru some old papers in an unrelated attempt to clear some clutter and what do I discover? My old documentation. It had somehow survived in the two boxes I managed to keep all these years. Color me surprised. I notify the DOE, get to the proper forms in the mail, fill them out, attach all the documents, school records, etc. The school of course tries to dispute it, but being on their original forms they were unsuccessful.

I was notified today that not only am I no longer expected to pay the outstanding 2 semesters, I am also due a check for just over $500 from an overpayment! Reading between the lines here means that school will have to cough up that money. I’m absolutely tickled.

References

References
↑1 Having made a dispute, legally the debt – holder has to show proof the debt is valid.

Moved

In case you missed all my jubilations on Google and FB, The Pup is here! I couldn’t be happier. I have a permanent grin on my face and I ain’t even about to pretend otherwise. hehehe The support from our respective group of friends has been awesome as well.

The move itself went off w/very little complication. In fact, it was one of the easiest moves I’ve ever done. The Pup had most of the heavy work done before I arrived in Phoenix. The only thing left was to finish the packing, pick up the truck and drive away. And it flowed just like that. No issues, no drama, no unexpected problems. He is also very fortunate to have two very good friends who dropped everything to help him in every way possible. The debt of gratitude is immense. He is truly fortunate to have such good friends.

The drive was an arduous 13-hour ordeal. Beyond that unavoidable aspect, it went off without a hitch. We left late morning, drove straight thru with stops for food and gas, and arrived at 12:30am in SF. [1]That strip of I-5 to Hwy 152 is extremely dull and boring. It it easy to forget that outside most of the big cities California is mostly farm land. Driving from LA to SF will remind you of that very quickly!

Anyway, so many little but important things gave way to this happening. My gut tells me this was meant to be and I can’t find a good reason to doubt it. hehehe  Like our relationship, everything just sort of tumbled into place. My being on a work project gave me a lot of scheduling flexibility I would not have otherwise had. His job transfer came out of the blue at a time when we really didn’t expect to find it. The move going so incredibly smooth and uneventful was just a finishing touch.

This week he is adjusting to his life here and his new job. He got a transfer so is already working. Sadly, he isn’t overly impressed with his new location. On the flip side, he has wanted to move into other things so we only need to get him thru the holidays and he can start looking for other opportunities. Just having employment will take so much stress off of us both though. (No, he does not want to enter my field of work.)

I’m so excited about our future together I can barely contain myself. I find I am eagerly excited to get home every day now just to see him. I know, I’m being all mushy but whatevs. I luvs him and ain’t afraid to show it.

He has said several times, “It doesn’t feel real yet.” In some ways, it doesn’t feel real for me either. The idea of having pretty much everything I’ve ever asked for is quite new to me. It feels a little surreal. I think a few weeks of settling into a schedule and a nice rhythm together will help it sink in for both of us.

References

References
↑1 That strip of I-5 to Hwy 152 is extremely dull and boring.

Sport

I was reading a friend of a friend’s story about sports and growing up as a gay man and it got my wheels a spinning. His story was very different than mine and somewhat surprised me. He explained he often felt disconnected from the community because he could find so few gay men into sports. Apparently, it caused some struggles and heartache over the years for him. Growing up loving sports and being gay, naturally he wanted to find others to connect with and share in the experience. You’d think that would be a no-brainer for me. hahaha

I’ll admit, I’d never thought of it that way. I never once connected that someone might feel alienated by the lack of gay men who play sports. Growing up the way I did, it just never occurred to me. All these years I’ve lamented over having sports ruined for me by my father. I never once took into consideration others might have gone a different path. The realization certainly made me appreciate his story more. I’m a little embarrassed to say I never made the connection until now.

I grew up hating sports. My father [1]I think deep down he knew I was gonna be gay made every effort to make a ‘man out of me‘ by forcing me into sports. Everything in my existence as a boy and potential man became tied to sports. So naturally, I grew up hating sports, especially football. You’d think being such a homo-erotic sport, I’d love it! Nope. To this day, I get annoyed and bored the moment someone flips on the TV and a football game is on. I can’t help it. No matter how hard I try, I cannot find an ounce of enjoyment out of watching football on TV. I’d sooner go dig in the dirt.

On a related tangent, it should come as no surprise that some gay men grow up thinking that being into sports makes them more manly or makes them less stereotypical gay. *yawn* Nothing could be further from the truth. But, if you wanna see a textbook example of how we develop coping-mechanisms to combat insecurities, it’s perfect!  (And hysterical to watch) But again, a tangent and one we should save for another day.

I did eventually find a sport that I enjoy, hockey. One of a few sports my father never hit on so I’m not surprised. I used to go to hockey games a lot back home when it was way more convenient. When I was in Boulder, I also got to indulge in the Denver team. Here, the getting to/from is a struggle as the closest big team is in San Jose. And with my work schedule, it is pretty much impossible. That being said, I still follow the sport and teams. Not avidly but I keep up. The neanderthal in me loves how brutal hockey can be. You have pads but it is a rough ass game. The nerd in me loves how simple it is to play.

*
On a side rant, The Pup is big into softball. He plays in gay leagues in Phoenix pretty often and clearly wants to join the league here. My roomie is also a big softball player. Naturally, The Pup wants me to play.  Truth be told, I find that I actually want to join. Not because of an overriding love of the game but simply because it is a new form of interaction. I think it will be fun to see gay guys playing. My only fear is that they will be overly competitive. If the leagues here focus only on winning, I can assure you I will lose interest and quit. Winning is fun and gives you an incentive to get better, duh. No one wants to lose all the time, but winning shouldn’t be the end-all purpose of the game, at least not to me.

I’m not ashamed to say I have probably zero skill. I haven’t played since high school and even then it was sporadic. They have teams that start out with mostly players at that level so I’m not worried. I doubt I’ll ever be a ‘heavy hitter’ and that is ok. I have size and some agility so I think I’ll be a decent player. I would like to develop the skill, improve, and be able to hold my own while playing with a team. But beyond that, I’m really just in it for the fun.

References

References
↑1 I think deep down he knew I was gonna be gay

Young

It is no secret I’ve never really been into young guys. And by young, I mean guys in their 20’s (or younger). I seem to be noticing a trend of very young guys being all up in my grill as of late. While I have no problem with being a Daddy, if I’m literally old enough to be your father, I am soooo not interested. lol

Maybe I am old-fashioned but even in the gay world, I think there should be some limitations. I’m all for not getting hung up on someone’s age but being more than half my age younger is just too much. [1]The fact my Pup is 10 years my junior should demonstrate my flexibility.  I won’t say it’s wrong as to what two consenting adults do, but when you are in your 20’s you rarely have an objective view of being in a relationship, much less with someone twice your age.

A very young man happened to see me at the Casto St Fair. I never saw him but apparently he saw me. He hit me up online later and was very insistent we ‘hang out.’  I’m sure you can gather what that meant. lol He was literally 2 days past his 20th birthday and looked very boyish. Both of which do nothing for me. I politely declined, several times. He was indignant at this point and jumped from calling me an ageist (he got points for at least knowing the term) to a racist. Don’t ask me how I was racist considering he looked white. lol He then tried the arrogant route as if his age was somehow a blessing to me and I should be grateful he even offered. Nope, still not interested.

After I had stopped responding, I guess he figured he’d try again. This time he asked why I wasn’t interested. Instead of feeding into that, I explained to him that the why wasn’t important and he shouldn’t ask that. He clearly had no idea how to handle rejection [2]lord knows we all go thru it so I took it upon myself to explain it to him. No matter what a person says regarding the ‘why’, it’s going to offend you. You’re going to be defensive no matter what so it is an exercise in futility. Instead of wondering why, move on. No one is everyone’s type and attraction has to be both ways for it to work. That’s all you really need to know. If someone takes the time to politely decline instead of ignoring you, be grateful they showed manners at all.

The kid seemed to really get it. He even apologized for being so rude. He kept hitting on me the whole time but he knew it wasn’t happening. I hope he learns from it and behaves better the next time.

References

References
↑1 The fact my Pup is 10 years my junior should demonstrate my flexibility.
↑2 lord knows we all go thru it

Gene

I’m on a bit of a ramble today so try to keep up with my logic jumps as I muddle thru this.

I’ve been reading all the fall out on Dirk Cable and Jesse Jackman having a picture of them kissing flagged on FB.  Then Jesse getting banned for 12 hours. The  outrage over it went a bit viral and then finally the HuffPo picked up the story.

While reading thru many of the comments (it’s always fun to read the hate, bigotry, and flat out ignorance), a general pattern of stupidity emerges based on religion. Of course, if you take religion out for the equation all of those against it lose their arguments, save one and that being propagation of the species. For some reason every time this comes up my brain bounces back to the Hubbard guy who viewed gays [1]And pretty much any deviation from sex for procreation as an aberration that must be rooted out. In case you are unfamiliar, he was the founder of the Science cult church, whom I won’t even do the honor of a full reference here for search engines.

Anyway, I’ve always found his wording intriguing. Not so much his hatred for gays (he had a gay son apparently) but his thought lines. He specifically and more than a few times referred to it as an aberration. Well for anyone who knows anything about evolution and biological progression, aberrations are not always bad. Whether an aberration survives in a species is often determined on any positive benefit it gives the species. That’s how evolution works. We also see in some species if the population breeds too quickly or over breeds, a switch happens and suddenly only one sex ends up being born in much larger numbers for awhile. This obviously leads to population control. What if humans, as a species, have a similar mechanism in our genome? In essence, the gay gene (or genes now based on more recent studies) would serve as a form of population control.

Are you still with me? lol  There are now over 7 billion people on this planet and the number is growing exponentially. Frankly, we are killing this planet. There are just too many of us for our natural resources to last. Not only are we over-breeding but because of modern medicine many more are living much longer lives. In my mind, it makes perfect sense that our genome is now producing abundantly more gay people. It serves as a mechanism to keep the species in check. Being a bit of a science geek, the idea hit me at a very early age. And it has never quite gone away. Obviously, I have no proof.  It is just an observation that rings true ‘to me.’  I’m not a scientist or even educated enough in genetic research to know but it certainly would explain a lot.

So even though he was a bit crazy and homophobic, he may have hit the nail on the head, just not in the way he expected. Now wouldn’t that be a kick in the rubber pants?

References

References
↑1 And pretty much any deviation from sex for procreation

Out

It appears that today is National Coming Out day. So in case you didn’t know it, I’m a big ole homo. Died in the wool , card carrying, and totally 100% unequivocally gay. I wasn’t molested. I wasn’t brain-washed. No one made me this way. I came this way. And for some that is a hard truth to swallow [1]Pun intended but belief is not a prerequisite of truth.

I always enjoy seeing who will come out on days like this. Even though incredibly painful [2]both mentally and physically, I’ve never regretted my coming out 28 years ago. I came out very young and the repercussions definitely changed my life and not always for the better. The events leading up to the fatal day I almost took my own life changed me forever. I left behind the fear, the worry, and the shame. Never again would I allow anyone to make me feel anything but proud of what I am.

While we have gained some major ground as of late, the fight is not over. LGBT folk all over this country and the world are still be targeted for harassment, physical violence, imprisonment, and even death just for being born different. We must continue to fight for those who don’t enjoy our freedoms. We must attempt to educate those who fear and hate us because we are different. The simplest and most effective way IMO is for them to see we aren’t that much different. The number one thing that changes a person’s mind or heart is first hand experience. Given the chance to get know an openly gay person, many people see past the stereotypes. They see past the rhetoric, the lies, the hate, and the fear. The learn we are human beings just like them who just want to get ahead in life. The fact we happen to have same-sex attractions doesn’t make us evil or perverted just different. Our ‘agenda’ is the same as theirs. [3]Even though some of the crazy stuff they say we are pushing for is hysterical!  And when people see that they begin to change their minds. They learn, they grow, they evolve.

I encourage anyone out there pondering the idea of coming out to do so. The simple act of being open and honest will change hearts and minds. Sometimes it only takes a small spark to lite a roaring fire. Be that spark.

References

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↑1 Pun intended
↑2 both mentally and physically
↑3 Even though some of the crazy stuff they say we are pushing for is hysterical!