Ad

I have a dirty confession to make. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there but seeing so much of it these days, I just felt the need to fess up.

I’m not an ad-clicker. There I said it. I never click on in-app advertisements. I find them a waste of time, rarely if ever, related to my tastes. We hear constantly how ad placement is driven by user meta data and seems to be the ‘golden chalice’ of all the big players out there. I’ve never once clicked on an online ad to buy a product. 

Don’t get me wrong, I see the point but until it gets to a level where the ads are truly relevant to me then I’ll most likely never be an ad-clicker. Using my search results is rarely helpful. Google often gets the closest out of them all. I wouldn’t click on a Facebook ad if you paid me. The problem, for me anyway, is the few items I actually search out on the Web are lost in random queries I do all the time. While this might help target ads to me a tiny bit better, it’s like pouring a barrel of food on my plate and then me finding one item out of all of it that I will eat.

IMO companies are too greedy in trying to put ads in front of my eyes. The email lists, the hard sells, the device cookies, are all an attempt to get ads in front of your face. It is pointless to me because it’s just a brute force attack. The moment you click on an ad or go to a referral link, then the real bombardment begins. If you aren’t using a disposable email, you’re in for a real treat. hehehe

Some developers make their living off the ads they push into apps to keep them free. I get it. And for some apps, it’s the only way to go. But for more popular or heavily integrated apps, not having a paid, ad-free version is a deterrent, at least for me.

I don’t mind having sites or companies track my habits, likes, dislikes, etc. Tracking my habits w/o trying to tie it specifically to me as a person is the way to go if you want me to click. IMO this is why Google will continue to dominate the ad market. They are pushing heavy into this and less on specifically targeting you vs your online presence. If companies really want to find the ‘sweet spot’, they need to continue tweaking their ability to be very specific without constantly trying to bombard me with any and every ad possible. Then, and only then, will I ever consider clicking on ads.

Game

I’ve been playing Ratchet & Clank: Into the Nexus lately. R&C has always been one of my favorite game franchises. I was more than little disappointed with the last game though. It had some major bugs that almost rendered the game unplayable.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love my beloved lombax but this last game felt very rushed. Games always have bugs. I’ve yet to encounter a single game that didn’t have at least one bug in it. It is just a fact of life. That said, one that prevents the game from continuing is pretty big.

The Pup got to see my frustration first hand as I was yelling at the TV and very upset over such a stupid mistake. [1]Unfortunately, he didn’t appreciate my slightly misdirected angst when I snapped at one of his recommended workarounds. Fear not, I made amends.  And I was upset because it is one of my favorite games. I only bought the PS3 for R&C and GOW. Had those two games gone to Xbox, I’d never have picked up the PS3.

Anyway, I finished the game, even crippled as it was. It sort of rights itself in challenge mode but even then it’s still slightly not right. I plan on leaving feedback on the developer site. I know they’ll make another. I’d rather a game be delayed vs being full of bugs.

If you plan on playing it, here’s a tip. When you get past the bronze and silver challenges and come back to the gold medal challenges in the arena, don’t stop and save during any of the gold challenges. Play all the way thru to the next world, then stop and save. This seems to overcome the bug. Also, the last Gargathon Horn is hidden really well. Go to the left side of the world in the area where you fly around a lot. Make a left turn when you come thru the mountain tunnel and look for the broken railing on the mountain side, it’s in there with the Smuggler’s parrot!

Beyond the bug, this most recent version is more like the old school R&C vs some of the sillier more recent versions. If you’re a fan, you’ll like this one overall.

References

References
↑1 Unfortunately, he didn’t appreciate my slightly misdirected angst when I snapped at one of his recommended workarounds. Fear not, I made amends.

No 1

On a total random vein of thought and this is not a post about how fabulous I think I am. (Unlike a certain other blogger we all know….*cough brettcajun cough*) No, today’s rant is a gross-fascination sort of topic. You know, one of those things ya usually don’t talk about it but it’s oddly fascinating to think about.

So how often do you find yourself in a situation where you start No 1 and then suddenly realize you need to do No 2? I’m sure who know where this is headed. heehee

Do you finish the No 1 before attempting No 2 or do you stop it mid-stream? Of course, this begs the question, do you zip up completely before adjourning to the porcelain throne or do you just walk on over with your bait and tackle dangling?

Even better, what do you do if it’s a public restroom and someone else is occupying it with you? Do you zip up and just stroll on over while they’re there? Or do you take a really loooong hand wash until they leave and then hit the stall?

Yes, it is burning questions like these the occupy my thoughts from time to time.

Thinker

After my last few posts, a reader asked me how is it that I always find time to examine my behaviors. To be clear, I don’t do it in the moment most often. It’s usually afterwards that I go over things in my mind. I will make a mental note of things that occur to me on the fly, so to speak, but overall I don’t spend every moment reviewing my actions.

I admit this gave me a giggle because having not met me in person, I can see where this perception my develop. You have to keep in mind the blog has always been a brainstorming white board for my growth and behavior. I think I get so mired in my self-analysis sometimes that I forget to let the rest of my character shine thru. I’m much more relaxed and free-spirited in person. Anyone who’s met me will tell you I can talk your ears off about any and everything, if you let me. My humor tends to be more pronounced as well. Unlike a certain blogger we know, I don’t try to cultivate an image of myself online that doesn’t exist in reality. hehehe

Beyond that, the blog is the biggest culprit. It has fundamentally changed my thought patterns and helped me to be more analytical and what I like to think is more objective. People ask me all the time why I still blog. Well there’s your answer.

Reflect

131-picsayContinuing in my cruise posts (This should be the last one, I think. lol), I did some reflection while I was away. Some things sort of popped out and grabbed my attention while others were just subtle moments of clarity. I was particularly aware of how our culture was represented in micro-communities. I guess that makes sense. You squeeze almost 3 thousand gay men on a boat, you’re gonna see a snapshot of varied sub cultures. I guess in some ways I was pleasantly surprised. This wasn’t my first cruise but it was my first gay cruise. I expected it to be all middle aged white guys grasping at their lost youth. I know that is a negative view and I’m not even sure why I thought it would be like that. [1]We’ll save that nut to crack for a later day. But it wasn’t and that’s a good thing. Hehe  Seeing the diversity of folks on board was oddly reassuring.

More subtle were some of the changes I’ve wrought in myself over the years. I interacted with random guys pretty much every day. And while that would have been true at any point in my life, the internal dialog was very different. No bouts of doubt or insecurity. No envy or feeling left out. Nothing negative at all. I know I harp on this a lot but it represents a fundamental shift in my id and attitudes. I strive to keep myself on a path of healthy thoughts. The cruise reaffirmed my success at that goal. I also noticed the difference in my maturity. Trev, Mikey, and I have known each other for 20 years and looking back on our beginnings and now, I could see my own maturation. [2]My big word of the day! It was a very nice, and yet surreal, feeling. You reflect on old memories and then overlay them with the present.

There was a drug component, which is always my biggest hurdle in participating in gay – only events.  But, it wasn’t as bad as I projected. I will say it soured a couple of my interactions with some pretty hot guys but beyond that it was only a small blip on my radar. I had been very worried this would spoil my fun. I was as incorrigible as always mind you.

In many ways, the trip made me appreciate my life. As it got closer and closer, I found that the idea of needing to get away less compelling. I’ve become a big fan of mediation and while on the trip I continued my meditation exercises. Yeah, I know to some that’s new age hocus pocus but it works for me.  Being able to meditate grounds me and helps keep everything around me in check. I appreciated and enjoyed the trip as a temporary diversion from life but I fully recognized it was a diversion. It wasn’t so much of an escape from reality as a release of energy. Once that energy was released, I was ready for home. I’m beginning to think this is why I no longer enjoy long vacations.

Anyway, the picture is an album link to a variety of pics. Some are flattering, others not so much. Most of the pics were from Port days or the dance parties. Feel free to skip over the scenery pics, I realize we all get bored with those pretty quickly.

I saw a kid that reminded me so much of me it was kinda scary. He was young, scrawny, and totally out of his element in many ways. But, and I say that with a big pause, he had something I didn’t have back then, self-awareness. Seeing him work that to his advantage made me a bit envious. I’ll probably devote a later post to this subject as I have a lot to say here but don’t wanna go off topic too much.

Hanging with Trevan and Mikey is pretty much as it has always been. Our friendships don’t take a lot of work, they just are. The cruise was supposed to have a fourth but ended up being just the three of us. We were snotty, bitchy, and caddy to each other as if we’d just seen each other yesterday. I missed them more than I realize and the trip together made me see that. I’ve been wrapped in my own problems/world for the last few years. Being out and about again was very healthy for my soul.

It’s ironic that I took a trip to get away and came away from the experience with a better perspective of my life and priorities.

References

References
↑1 We’ll save that nut to crack for a later day.
↑2 My big word of the day!

Cards 2.0

I mentioned a while back I was getting ready to do Xmas cards. I said I’d remind everyone again and here it is. hehe

If you want a card from little ole me make sure I have your mailing info, even if you think I have it. I’ll be doing my little ritual soon. Don’t post it publicly obioiusly. lol Email, text, or private msg me. hehe

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The Pup and I are both working on Christmas day, which is fine. I’m working Christmas day. I don’t mind as they pay me well for it. Another great thing about him, like me, he doesn’t get all worked into a frenzy over the idea of a holiday. We’ll do our own little moments of appreciation and celebration and that is the important part.

Passport

My biggest yet completely arbitrary complaint on the cruise is I couldn’t get my passport stamped in either city. They simply just don’t do it. I asked several times to no avail. I so wanted a stamp on my passport to show I was now officially a world traveler and it was ruined by the tourist industry being so reliable! lol Damn hippies. Heehee Seriously though, I was rather disappointed.

The cruise went to Mexico via Cabo and Puerta Vallarta. One day in Cabo and two days in PV. The boat itself was kind of an odd configuration of gaudy and tacky all in one. It made for fun conversation and fodder for several of the on-board comedians though. Speaking of, I got to see the ghayto-fabulous Kathy Griffin. She was funnier than ever with a routine totally geared toward ripping gays and their sexual proclivities. I think I busted a seam I was laughing so hard. Of course, the boat had a dance party planned every day. Some were Tea dances and others were just dances. Some were costume style, others were just based on the style of music. Beyond the parties, there were a variety of comedy shows. Dixie Longate and Miss Richland 1981 were both in attendance. The trifecta would have been complete if Miss Coco Peru had been on board. Lest I forget, Deborah Cox was on board as well. Kathy was the highlight for me, but all of the shows were very good.

Cabo was somewhat depressing. I didn’t see the whole city obviously, but what I did see made me sad and angry. Unless you go for the fishing or ocean expeditions, you probably won’t enjoy it.  Well, unless you stay on the boardwalk which is lined with restaurants, shops, and high-end brand name stores. The rest of the city appears to live in abject poverty. The moment we stepped off the boat we were bombarded with ‘vendors’ practically begging for sales of tiny and or useless trinkets. I admit it was a big shock. Children coming up and asking to sell chic-let gum was saddening. The vendors weren’t shy about telling you they needed the money either. We aren’t talking 3rd-world conditions but the level of poverty was a total surprise. Overall, I came away feeling the city had a veneer of commercialism spread thinly over a population in poverty.

Puerta Vallarta was a thriving city. It is obvious a huge component of their economy is tourism but it didn’t have the depressing feel of Cabo. It wasn’t just an attempt at a city wrapped around a port of call. The landscape and scenery were very appealing. The city had a tropical feel that was very relaxing. The gay section was remarkably large and seemed pretty well accepted. We saw local couples walking the streets and holding hands. No one batted an eye. The streets were all cobblestone which made for some interesting taxi rides. Over all, it was beautiful, friendly and inviting. And while it had an element of poverty, it was much more in line with what I would consider normal for any city. It was funny seeing so many guys of the boat going into the local “pharmacy” for medications you can get w/o a prescription there. heehee.  We only had time to visit a couple of the local bars. The Lanoche had a simple yet beautiful roof top deck. The bartenders were ‘very’ friendly. If you happen to go that way anytime soon, say hi to Louis and tell him Moby sent you.

Overall, it was a great experience. For PV, I think I’d just fly in next time and stay for an extended weekend or even a week. I didn’t get to see near as much as I wanted. As mentioned, I got totally homesick on the way back but I am glad I went.

Ten

It’s always nice to encounter folks that read my blog. It is; however, a tiny bit awkward when they politely remind me I haven’t been blogging lately. hehehe I say awkward only because I blushed a bit when it happened recently.

I’ve been a very busy fellow since the cruise and not much time to stop and cohesively put posts together. I have several in the works. Free time is everything these days it’s seems. And having the new R&C: Into the Nexus video game totally hasn’t interfered at all! [1]Having a hubby who brings home video games for me to play and enjoys that I play them is incredibly awesome btw!

In all the craziness as of late, I totally forgot I crossed the 10 year threshold. Yep, as of October, I’ve moved into year 10 of this here blog. You might or might not have noticed I changed my Blog title and tagline. It’s been an amazing 10 years and the breadth of what I’ve covered is staggering.  Two breakups, the death of my father, tons of personal growth, random drivel, ragging on friends, blogosphere scandals, etc have all been fodder over the years. I’m a bit amazed at it all to be honest. You start out thinking it’s just a mechanism to help with organizing your thoughts and then you wake up one day to find you’ve chronicled some of the most important and influential years of your life!

As always, I thank all of you who read and continue to read. I never tire of hearing from readers. I often wonder how many are left that have been following me since the beginning. I’m sure it isn’t many but I know there are some. They pop up here and there or message me out of the blue. That or they make a random comment that clearly shows a knowledge of past events. hehehe I’m always incredibly flattered.

Moving into the 2014 year, I am hopeful it continues to be as bright and happy as the end of 2013 has turned out to be. I’ll continue to try and blather about things I care about and my on-going struggle to be a better man.

To all of you, I offer my most sincere thanks for so much of your attention.

References

References
↑1 Having a hubby who brings home video games for me to play and enjoys that I play them is incredibly awesome btw!

Thanks

Y’all know I’m not overly big on holidays. That said, I try to remember the spirit of the holidays vs falling prey to the commercial consumer engines they’ve become. I always try to be thankful but I am especially thankful this year for the wonderful things I have in my life.

I always cover the basics because not everyone is so fortunate to have even that. I’m happy to have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and enough job security to not worry for the immediate future. It may seem trivial but I am grateful for things so many of us take for granted.

Beyond that, I feel so incredibly fortunate at this moment in my life. I found the most wonderful man I could ever ask for. He makes me happy in ways I didn’t even know possible. I am so grateful we found each other and are building a life together. I’m grateful I can come home to him every day and wake up with him every morning. I feel so incredibly honored he chose me for his partner in life.

Of course, I can’t forget the ‘pooper.’  Cooper brings me so much joy and never fails to bring a smile to my face. To think I almost missed the opportunity to bring him into my life. He always gets a special treat on the holiday, of which he has already devoured. Hehe I’ve said it before but he will never know the joy he brings me.

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I hope all of you reading this are doing well and in good spirits. If your holiday isn’t as bright or as warm as you’d hope, don’t sweat it. It’ll be over tomorrow and life goes on. It’s one day.

The Pup and I are both working today and tomorrow. Neither of us is upset over that. He, like me, is very pragmatic. The only down side is we are working opposite shifts today so I won’t see him till late tonight. No worries, I’ll be there waiting with open arms for him. grrrr!

I try not to confuse being thankful for what I have with the fairy-tale projections that we are often bombarded with. Reality is rarely like the stories and I think it important to remember that subtle but important distinction. In my line of work, I see and hear the depression that grips so many this time of year. I believe it is made worse because we get caught up the idea of the perfect holiday vs just living a good life. And on the chance your are having a very bad holiday, let me extend a hand of friendship and a hug of warm feelings. Don’t let it get you down.

I wish you all the very best. As always, I love that you read my nonsense. *big hugs*