PrEP

So I’m diving head first into a topic of news lately regarding PrEP. *This is a bit of a long post today so grab some caffeine*

If you aren’t familiar with the term PrEP, it stands for Pre-Exposure Prophylactic. [1]Not to be confused with PEP, Post Exposure Prophylactic. The same drug is used for both The drug Truvada has been on the market to treat HIV since the late 90’s. It was recently approved to help with the the prevention of HIV transmission for individuals that are HIV negative. This news has been received with some very mixed reviews from within the community and the fight over it rages on.

The disturbing part is not that the decision is contentious but that there have been attempts to silence or shame anyone who has embraced the option. I must say I don’t really understand the latter. Even worse, much of the criticisms are based on ignorance and baseless (so far) assumptions. I get the advice for caution and concern but the level of vitriol and condescending attacks is unnecessary and counter-productive. If you don’t understand something don’t ramble on about how awful it is because ‘you know someone will abuse it.’ As often turns out, you don’t know and that ignorance can cause real harm in this instance. You have zero right to demean anyone who would choose a path that may help prevent them from getting HIV, even if that path doesn’t line up with your personal preferences.

I blame some of it on our conditioning in Western culture to hate our bodies and/or any idea of sex outside of coupling. We are institutionalized from birth on 1man+1women=babies. Well, that social construct doesn’t apply so well for us same-sex lovin’ folks. And having moral apprehension to a method to prevent the transmission of HIV is perfectly fine for yourself. Sex is not dirty, wrong, or shameful. And this continual shame based approach to sexuality is reprehensible. Frankly, it should dispel any remaining allusions that we are in any way unique or more evolved than our straight brethren.

This particular argument isn’t about personal standards. It is about the prevention of HIV transmission. Infections are once again on the rise at an alarming rate. [2]Ironically, many don’t stigmatize the treatment of other STDs, like Gonorrhea or Syphilis, that used to be considered terminal. And while HIV may not be the death sentence it once was, it is still incurable. It is time to branch out and embrace more ways to combat the spread. The ‘you should use a condom’ argument has soundly failed, as evidenced by the continual rise in infections from a generation that missed the mass die-off in the beginning. And why we of all people continue to fall prey to this failed ideology escapes me. The ‘you should’ method has never worked. If it did, we wouldn’t have teen pregnancies, drunk drivers, continued HIV transmission, or even wars for that matter. You are right, people should use a condom. Many do but many more don’t. It is time to fight the transmission from a different angle and from as many angles as we possibly can.

There are some pros and cons to going on PrEP. It isn’t for everyone based on your risk-factors, health, eating/drinking habits, relationship status, etc. If you have questions or concerns, ignore all the hype and drama. Talk to your health care professional about it. At the end of the day, what I or anyone else thinks you should do is irrelevant. You should act to protect yourself and if this would help you, then you should consider it.

*

For my own view, I support the approach to limit the spread based on sound statistical evidence. So far, the studies are showing that PrEP is truly effective in preventing the exposure and spread of infection.

One big argument I hear has been people will use condoms less. Statistically, so far that proves to be inaccurate. Two of the studies (which use blind testing – meaning you never know if you are getting the real drug or a placebo) showed that overall condom use did not decrease. But let us assume for a moment that people did. How many times have you trusted a complete stranger to be honest about their status? And how many times have you engaged in riskier sex based on that belief? The way I see it, we have several scenarios [3]excluding needle sharing where HIV transmission can occur:

Both partner’s know they are neg.
This is a fallacy. You should never assume someone who has sex with others besides you is neg. But let us assume for the moment, both partners think they are neg. You aren’t in a monogamous LTR and you engage in unprotected sex. Not being on PrEP means you are at the highest exposure rate for transmission. Being on PrEP would mean the ratio of transmission is reduced significantly (As much as 95% without a condom according to the efficacy rates of the studies so far).

One partner doesn’t know his status.
I would argue most of new transmissions via sex happen when one partner doesn’t know his status or assumes his status hasn’t changed. Again, if one of you are on PrEP, the exposure rate is reduced significantly.

Only one partner is neg.
Usually this means the poz partner is already on a drug regimen and undetectable. (You should still ask)  Plenty of sero-discordant couples already weren’t using condoms prior to PrEP. In an LTR or not, now the neg partner has an extra layer of protection and assurance he is not at risk. Not only does this reduce the transmission, it also de-stigmatizes the fear that comes from being with a poz person. Knowing you can be with a poz person and not put yourself at risk helps many who want to get past the mental mind-block, overcome their fear, and move forward.

Both partner’s know they are poz.
These are the least of your worries. These guys know their status and sero-sort on purpose. Primarily, to avoid the afore mentioned stigma that comes with being poz. I’d argue the only time this becomes an issue is when you get into assuming again. “We’re barebacking so he must be neg”, meanwhile, the other guy is thinking “We’re barebacking so he must be poz.” Never assume anyone is neg.

So which category do you fit in?

There are some cons and real concerns to consider. The biggest concern so far is the idea that guys will go on it inconsistently and cause resistance. Keep in mind resistance is only relevant if you sero-convert to being positive. Adherence to the daily regimen is key to the drugs efficacy. But think on this for a moment. The drug is already used for post exposure. Say you aren’t being very consistent with taking it daily. Then you have an exposure. How many of you reading this wouldn’t, out of that same fear, start taking it every day after an a possible exposure?

So far, the medical community is much more worried about resistance from folks that are using it as treatment, not preventative care. And let’s be real, people who spend the time, energy, and money to get on it as PrEP aren’t being cavalier. I’d argue they are doing just the opposite. It isn’t just a simple prescription. You have to visit your doc every 3 months, at least for the first year, for regular checkups and blood work. That decreases over time but you see my point. And when has a doc ever given you a prescription with an unlimited refill amount? See, when you think it thru you start unraveling some of the preconceived notions.

Another issue is cost. Fortunately, most large insurers already cover it so if you have insurance, chances are higher they do cover it vs not. I won’t even entertain the conspiracy theories I’m heard on this one.

And then we get to side-effects. The are some rare but sometimes very serious side-effects that can come from long term use of the drug. That again, is why you discuss it with your doctor and get regular blood work. Almost two decades of use show overall it is well tolerated by most. Even still, you are not given a prescription and never return. The hype over some of the more serious side-effects has been quite dazzling. I encourage you to go to WebMD.com and do a search for both Truvada and the little blue pill. [4]I don’t want to attract the bots so I’m not spelling it out. lolol No one is up in arms over the side-effects of the latter, which by definition aren’t much better. You can choose pretty much any drug site of choice to do a comparison.

In the end, you have to decide for yourself if this is right for you. If you are someone who uses a condom without fail (pun intended) then it may not be the choice for you. However, if you find that you aren’t 100% consistent and/or just want an extra layer of protection, then it might be for you. Talk to your doctor. Talk to others who are on it, regardless of their status. Decide for yourself if PrEP would be an additional way to combat the spread of HIV for YOU.

/rant

References

References
↑1 Not to be confused with PEP, Post Exposure Prophylactic. The same drug is used for both
↑2 Ironically, many don’t stigmatize the treatment of other STDs, like Gonorrhea or Syphilis, that used to be considered terminal.
↑3 excluding needle sharing
↑4 I don’t want to attract the bots so I’m not spelling it out. lolol

Beautiful

The outrage over the recent Coke commercial during the Super Bowl is quite the laugh. Didn’t hear it? It was a multi-language mash up America the Beautiful. It also featured a quick view of a gay-couple. While you might have issues with said company right now over it’s support of Sochi, [1]Greed will do that  you cannot deny they have been a long time staunch supporter of gay rights. Anyway, the song sparked outrage from the far right and many of our less ‘edumucated’ folks spawning their nastiness on the web via social media.

The outrage was specifically over the song being in different languages, which had my laughing in fits. Seriously, the irony is overwhelming. For those of you who don’t know, the song was originally a poem written by a Lesbian. But wait, it gets better. It was set to music from a foreign song. Many have been pointing it out but the best quote so far has been,

Katharine Lee Bates, author of the poem “America the Beautiful” studied Greek in college and spent four years in foreign travel and study. Her life partner was Katharine Coman, a social activist and strong advocate for European-influenced Social Insurance and policies.

Her poem “America the Beautiful” was put to the tune of “Materna” by Samuel Ward, which was originally intended to be the accompaniment for “O Mother, Dear Jerusalem” written by David Dickson.

In short, a homosexual woman who studied Greek (and whose life partner advocated European Socialism) wrote a poem which was put to the tune of a song with a Spanish title, composed to accompany text written by a Scottish Minister about a Middle Eastern country

Folks, it doesn’t get much funnier than that.

Our country was founded by immigrants and the ideal of welcoming people from all walks of life to this land. [2]Not forgetting that we stole this land from it’s rightful owners, mind you.  Blind ignorance and patriotism makes you a puppet. The Repugs are depending on the ‘dumbing down’ of America so they can use petty squabbles and base emotions to control the masses. Meanwhile, they keep screwing us over and over and over again.

/rant

References

References
↑1 Greed will do that
↑2 Not forgetting that we stole this land from it’s rightful owners, mind you.

Awesome

I get a lot of questions about how The Pup and I are doing. In a word, we are doing ‘awesome.’  I’ve alluded to things being well in various posts as of late but yeah, we’re good. We’re better than good actually.

It is hard to put into words how great it has been. Having a best friend in a partner is certainly a new experience for me. I say that because I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time with a partner before. It is odd in some ways because I am usually very self-contained and tend to like my ‘me’ time. It was a character trait that took me an unexplainable amount of time to figure out but once I did, I learned to appreciate it. I’ve yet to feel the loss of any me-too so far. The Pup and I spend a lot of our free time together, almost all of it. If anything, the day is just a distraction until I can get home to him. [1]yeah, I got it bad.   I’m sure that will wane a bit over time but I’m not complaining one bit.

I guess having never felt like previous partners were my best friend too it makes sense.  In the past, I usually planned my schedules and routines building in time just for me. In retrospect, I wonder if I built too much me time. I’m actually changing schedules at work soon so he and I can spend more time together vs apart. Don’t think that change was lost on me either. I wanted to and that is the important part. I didn’t feel like I had to or like it was some sort of obligation. The time we spend together is mutually agreeable to both of us. And, I know if either of us ever need some time alone, the other is perfectly OK with it. And I wonder if even knowing the latter makes it more bearable. I mean wanting something you can’t have sometimes makes it more desirable. Would the reverse not also be true? The more I think on it the more I believe that is at the heart of how different I am this time around. I know he won’t be upset, hurt, or feel left out if I needed time to myself. And I honestly believe he knows the same with me. So knowing it is readily available makes it less of a need.

I tell him everything and he is the first person I think of when I want to do anything. I honestly can’t think of a better way to be in a relationship.

References

References
↑1 yeah, I got it bad.

Still

Someone commented the other day I haven’t been blogging as much lately. Tis true, I’ve been busy with life and other things so le blog has suffered a bit. Rest assured, I’m not quitting, I just have less free time. Having a new partner, a lazy dog, and a roommate does make for a busy home life. 

Often times, I start a post but because I really like to articulate my thoughts and get my point across, I get distracted or interrupted. Then by the time I get back to the post, it is no longer relevant or out of date. I often delete whole columns of drafts because I simply don’t get to them in time.

Anyway, never fear, I is still hear. I’ll try a little harder to be more timely.

Read

I posted a while back about my attempt to find some good gay themed scifi/Horror/fantasy novels. As previously mentioned, my biggest complaint is that most of the gay themed books are erotic-based or total crap. OK, that might be a bit harsh. There are plenty that are self-discovery and chronicles of coming out. I am not bashing any of those. I am however, referring to the plethora of fiction novels. Sorting thru the turds to find the gems is a royal pain.

Anyway, every once and a while I find a good one. I stumbled over a series of books by Poppy Dennison. They are the standard vampire, werewolf, mage sort of books but with gay characters. And while not overly complex, they are well written and blend together quite well. The Triad series starts each book from a different characters view on the  progressing larger story. While often short, the books were well-written and the overall story blends quite well. I came away truly impressed with the author. The author could have merged all of the books into one big one but breaking them out piecemeal isn’t bad.

if you’re in the market for said type of books, I definitely recommend them. I wouldn’t call them powerful awe-inspiring but they are certainly a good and entertaining read.

43

A big thank you to everyone for the wonderful birthday wishes. I’m always flattered by the outpouring of well-wishes. The birthday was pretty low-key. I was a bit under the weather this past weekend so ended up at home with The Pup for a couple extra days. By Sunday, I was feeling better, and yesterday an unrelated eye-irritation was my only complaint.

Sadly, I am no longer the answer to life, the everything. [1]Hitchiker’s Guide to The Galaxy hehehe  I’ve mentioned before, I don’t regret getting older. I actually enjoy it. I don’t get depressed, sad, or even wistful [2]so far as I age. And even though I notice more changes to the body year after year, I’m ok with it. As Madam would say, ‘…you realize that life is marching by and it’s marching right over your face!’ lol But I don’t mind the greying hair (what’s left of it lol) or the not so subtle wrinkles. If anything I like to think I balance my age with my spirit.

Physically, I’m still in excellent shape for my age even though I’ve been a bit lax in the gym lately. Of course, having a new live in partner will do that. heehee  I eat relatively well and *knock on wood* no apparent major health problems have presented themselves. I will have to break down and get some eye-glasses at some point. I am noticing that I’m becoming near-sighted. Things at a distance seem to loose focus more often these days. I guess I’m getting old eyes. lol

Anyway, thanks again for the well-wishes. I am looking forward to my 43rd year.

🙂

References

References
↑1 Hitchiker’s Guide to The Galaxy
↑2 so far

Rants

For a long time I tried not to talk too much about politics or current event sort of subjects on le blog. I just didn’t want to beat a horse that everyone else was beating. I go off on some things from time to time but I’ve always kept the focus of the blog squarely on myself.

These days, I find less and less need to fight my personal demons in this space. And while I’ll continue to blather on about my personal development, I feel it is time to start branching out. I think I have a good perspective on much of the happenings in the world. And as I love to harp, I’m good at seeing subtle but often important distinctions in things.

I guess what I’m saying is you, dear reader, should expect to start seeing more current event type rants here. Not everyday and certainly not the focus but I like to think it will add a good mixture to the chronicle that is my life.

2014

I don’t have any big resolutions this year. As always, I strive to be better than I am, to learn and grow from my mistakes. I will continue that approach in 2014. But that is more of a philosophy than a resolution. Tied into that is to spend less time on social media and more time on the things that matter. And by less time, I don’t mean avoiding as much as using it as the tool it was meant to be.

Having The Pup in my life has given me a somewhat new outlook on things. My love for him continues to grow. We are still in the fresh-new love, as I call it, phase. The kind where you can’t wait to spend every moment together. Your whole day is just a distraction till you get home to him. That sort of love. hehehe I’m confident we’ll reach the long-abiding love phase but I am really enjoying the now. I hope to hold onto it even as our love matures. I continue to look forward to our future together.

There will be some changes in my life in the coming year. As I finish up the project at work in <strike> late March </strike> early May, I’ll be moving back to normal operations. I’ve decided to stay on a day-shift. I had to give up my full weekend slot though. Seniority on day-shift is still high and getting a weekend slot on what we refer to as ‘straight days’ is not an easy task. Even as I move into 13 years on the job, getting a premium day slot is difficult. I do have a partial weekend so it’s fine and I’m switching so I can spend more time with The Pup.

The finances will continue to be a big focus. I want to cut my debt load in half this year, at the very least. It may mean forgoing some frivilous fun stuff but hey, that’s life right? Seriously though, I hate forking over so much money for debt every month. I know I’ve said in the past I’d never go into debt again and this wasn’t really shopping or wasteful spending, but it is a total pain. I’ve canceled two of my three cards. [1]I say canceled, one was in default. lol I will not be applying for a new one. Frankly, I just don’t need that much credit. I try to live within my means and having too much credit discourages that. Thankfully, I had it when I needed it but I hope to never be in such a situation again.

Having a partner and a roomie who pay rent is certainly helping on the finance front. hehehe The roomie will be with us for most of this year. Things are a little comfy but overall still easy and no strain to manage. Even with overlapping schedules it has worked out pretty decent so far. Home life is calm and happy, just how I like it. Whether we are bouncing to the Eagle for beer-bust, lounging on the sofa, or just hanging at Starbucks, the comfort is addicting.

My goals for the coming year are to get back into a solid gym routine. Having a new partner certainly distracts one from such things. lol But it is time to get serious again and start pushing myself. I still have that 210 goal to reach. Beyond that, there isn’t much I can ask for. Life is treating me good and I hope it lasts. I’m not greedy and many of the things I’ve always want in life I now have. I am truly grateful for that.

Of course, I’ll keep blathering away here. I’m always tinkering with the code and blog.

References

References
↑1 I say canceled, one was in default. lol

2013

Well, 2013 turned out to be an amazing here for me. It was a time for personal reflection on past mistakes. It was a time of emotional and financial recovery. It was also a time of joy and happiness.

The year started rather ho-hum. Nothing bad or good, just rather uneventful. I switched shifts at work for a software project. This put me on day shift, which I lamented repeatedly. Ironically, the timing of my assignment was instrumental, even if I didn’t recognize it at the time.

As time went by the year just got better and better.

There is, of course, my beloved Cooper. He always brings me joy. His unconditional love is a constant light in my life. I will never understand how anyone could abandon such a wonderful animal. Being a special needs dog only makes me love him that much more.

Of course, unless you never read my madness, there was my meeting The Pup. Knowing each other online for years, this was our first year to meet in person. I believe that life brought him to me. The coincidences and alignment of occurrences were all too obvious to ignore. My time on the project gave me a lot of flexibility to visit back and forth while he was still living in Phoenix. I truly believe I was meant to be with him. He has taught me the meaning of true love and what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. I eagerly anticipate our future together. I simply cannot imagine my life without him.

My finances came together and are well under control again. I’m still carrying a debt load but knowing I’m on top it takes a huge stress off of me. It will take a couple years to get it down to what I want but getting a consolidation loan most definitely helped. The interest was slightly higher than what I wanted but I can apply for a refinance in a year so I’m pleased.

As always, I struggle to be better than I am. It is not a NY resolution as much as an approach to life in general. The struggle continues. This past year didn’t test me as much as reaffirm my growth in this area.

I won’t miss 2013 as much as look back on it fondly. I am excited to greet 2014.

Filter

As previously mentioned, I’ve been doing some cleaning on the blog. As of today, I switched off my beloved SK2 junk comment filter. I’ve been threatening to do so for some time now. t hasn’t been supported in years but continued to chug along doing admirably at blocking unwanted comments.

Sadly, as WP has continues to grow and evolve it’s code the filter was becoming too much to manage. It would break as much as it fixed so I finally axed it.

I switched over to Akismet. If you find your comments aren’t getting thru, please email me or contact me via social media to advise. I’ll try to keep a good eye on it for a few weeks to make sure everything is functioning as planned.

More to come!