Heading Home / Bad Memories

Well, tomorrow is the big day. My flight leaves at 8:00am from SFO w/a brief layover in Dallas. I’m taking the laptop so maybe I’ll get lucky and snap off some pictures to post afterwards. I’m sure everyone is just dying to see the trailer house in all its glory. lol

I’m poking fun to avoid the issue. I’ve been jittery all week thinking about the coming drama. I found out my dad’s remaining siblings will be there as well. I’m expecting a shitstorm of drama. I’m as prepared as I can be I guess. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. It’s hard to be self-righteous when you as ignorant as most of them are.

Ok, that was probably a little mean. I think my dander is up in preparation. Truthfully, I think my father’s family loves me in their own way. They just don’t know any better. They haven’t seen hide nor hair of me since I left home so I’m sure they are just as nervous about “you know so & so’s boy, the gay one” coming home. I’ll admit, I got a twisted tickle out of it when I heard that is how some of my relatives refer to me now. Forgetting for a moment, they were around thru most of my childhood. It’s like I’m some foreign object that has wedged itself in the stain that is our family. *g*

There is one Aunt, I’m hoping isn’t there. I used to be very close to her as a child. After leaving home, I stayed w/my grandmother the summer of my 16th birthday. She was very ill and no one else would take care of her. She was a feisty old woman and none of her ‘chirrens’ were willing to move in, so I did. Anyway, my fave Aunt’s youngest son, who was 5 years older than me came to stay as well. I adored him. Up until then, I’d always wanted him to be my brother. What I didn’t know is one of my brothers had told him “about” me. So one night, he wakes me up and wants to know if I’d be willing to ‘service’ him. I said no, so he told everyone that I attacked him in his sleep and tried to molest him. Hmmmmm, a 16yo attacking a 21yo in his sleep and winning? Does that sound any kind of reasonable? Well, they all decided it was my fault because of “you know, he IS that way”. Add one more item to the shit list.

After that my fave Aunt wouldn’t have anything to do with me. It was almost as painful as having my father kick me out. The only person who believed me was my grandmother. She saw right thru his lying ass and told him as much. She kicked him to the curb too. She told him he was never welcome in her home ever again until he admitted he had lied. To this day, I don’t know why see believed me over him. She died the following year. Being her spiteful self, when she divided up her meager belongings in her will, she left out the Aunt and gave me her portion. Wasn’t much but it helped me get into college. I never got to say thank you to that old woman. I think she knows though.

So, I’m hoping she, the Aunt, isn’t there. Mainly, I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I just know she’ll bring it up out of anger and make me call her on it. Years later, her son went down a very destructive path and has been in constant trouble since. He was her pride and to have him turn out so bad was a big disappointment. What she doesn’t know is her son told my oldest brother he lied about it. And he will be there. A fight I’m hoping to avoid as I’m not the defenseless child she ‘cussed’ out oh so long ago.

God, how did I get off on this topic. I guess I’m dragging up old memories. I haven’t talked about the Aunt in the longest time. I wonder if she misses me?

Shizer! Gotta run, I was voted Treasurer for our Union Chapter at work recently and today is my first chapter meeting.

Me Grown Up Now

I realized after an incident today that I have finally achieved the maturity that comes w/adulthood. If such a thing were possible. [1]My friend Bobby will get such a kick out of this story only because he thinks everyone in SF is stuck up. So Bobby, it finally happened! I got snubbed.

I’m leaving the gym today and this rather attractive fellow was in the locker room preening like a peacock. Ok, let me re-phrase that. This very attractive and very well built fellow was preening in the locker room today. I’m doing my thing, as usual, and can’t help but stare just a bit. He keeps doing all these little obvious tricks to flex a muscle or expose a hidden area. All w/a not so random randomness. After about 10 minutes of this, I’m getting rather bored as that’s all he is doing. I finish my business and I’m about to leave when he crosses my path. Now I don’t know if was offended that I didn’t gawk more or because I didn’t pursue him further. Either way, he gives me this very disdainful once over look and snorts right in front of me as if to say, “your pathetic and nowhere near my league“. And for once in my life, I didn’t give a shit. I wasn’t even offended. I giggled as I shook my head and walked out. Not only that, I got the distinct pleasure of hearing him throw his gym bag down as I descended the stairs.

Let me explain a bit. Just a few years ago, I would have probably done the same thing however, I would have been wounded inside and felt inferior. I would have called him all kinds of horrible names in my mind like poopoo-head or snooty patooty. (where do kids come up w/these names?) All the reasons why don’t really matter at this point. What does matter, is that I didn’t even begin down that demoralizing path of reasoning this time. Jesus H Christ, Mary, Joseph, & David! Maybe there is hope for me in this life after all!

References

References
↑1 My friend Bobby will get such a kick out of this story only because he thinks everyone in SF is stuck up.

Random Giggles, Ooohs, and Aaaahs!

You HAVE to skip over and read homer‘s Ode to the Nipple!

For all my scifi nuts, Steven Spielberg is directing the remake of Orsin Wells’ War of the Worlds! Can you believe it? WOW’s was one of the first scifi movies I saw growing up. Always thought it was well made for its time. I hope they deliver on the remake. Course, w/old Spiely in the directors chair, its bound to be over the top! The trailers can be seen in a bit larger format here. I soo es’cited!

BCC – Prelmin Feb 3rd

This past Thursday I was hanging out at the Powerhouse for the Bare Chest Calendar contest. I’m not required to be there since I’m just doing the website. However, my friend Tim is always trying to drag me to a bar so I thought I’d kill two birds w/one stone. [1]Don’t ya like the way I shoved it off on you Tim? It really is all your fault.

So I’m hanging out and Norm, one of the photographers, snapped this shot of myself and one of the calendar husbands. (meaning his partner is involved in the event) Not my best shot but I ain’t afraid to let it all hang out. *g*
February 3rd

References

References
↑1 Don’t ya like the way I shoved it off on you Tim? It really is all your fault.

Bizarre-O

OMG! This one is straight out of the bizarre-o files. Trannies injecting industrial grade silicon directly into their bodies. Industrial grade silicon you say? What is that? Why, its the very same stuff you can buy at any hardware store. Why you ask? Well, usually because they can’t afford the high cost of surgery to make their bodies look more fem. I’m amazed it has taken this long for such a tragedy to occur.

All I can say is “what were you thinking?”

Justice?

So it was nice to see even in Wisconsin Joe Schmoes can’t use the “gay panic” defense to kill gays. What is shameful are attorneys still trying to use this as a form of defense.

(Full Story Oshkosh, Wisconsin) A jury has ignored claims that a Wisconsin man was murdered in a case of “gay rage” and ruled that Gary Hirte, 19 was sane when he killed Glen Kopitske in July 2003….
He said Hirte had been drinking at home and went to a boat landing and sat on the hood of his car. Kopitske approached and invited Hirte to his house.
The men had oral sex and Hirte left and returned to his car. A few hours later he drove off in what his lawyer Gerald Boyle described as an “unbelievable rage”, got a shotgun and knife, returned to the house and killed Kopitske…

If the jury had found Hirte insane he would have been sent to a mental institution, where he could petition every six months for release. It’s just a shame they don’t offer the death penalty in Wisconsin. Me thinks he’d make a great candidate? What say you?

Blogging Anew

Trying to lift my spirits and keep myself preoccupied, I’ve moved my blog. I’ve been planning it for awhile but my buddy kristaki beat me to the punch so I figured it was time to act. This is my first official post on the new blog. I haven’t folded it completely. I’m still using blogger to update/add stuff and storing stuff on my domain. Eventually, I plan to fold everything into my domain and manage it w/wordpress or moveable type. That requires some updates to my server side functions that I am not willing to do just yet.

Change your bookmarks cause Moby has moved

Steady Decline

I was right in the middle of a patting myself on the back for being elected Union Treasurer and Steward at work when the phone rang. Talk about a mood killer. Apparently, daddy-o has taken another turn for the worse. I guess my brothers aren’t giving me all of the info on his condition. Somehow, its gone from just having cancer in his hip to having cancer in his hip, abdomen, and prostate. I was none to happy to discover all the new info this late in the game. My father has gone back to not knowing where he is. Both of my brothers think he is in the last days and urging me to hurry home.

Well, the flight is booked for Thursday. No thanks to my so called friend George, at twice the cost. I had to max out two credit cards. UGH! Shame on me for depending on someone else I guess. George works for an airline and had offered to let me use one of his buddy passes so I’d have more flexibility on dates. Well here it is the week before and he keeps blowing me off.

So rather than call him yet again to firm up, I booked the tickets myself.

Crazy – Quiz

So I’m just home from being a very bad boy (don’t ask) and I’m catching up on my blogrolling. I stopped by roblog and discover his quiz. So I skip on over and take one myself. Here’s where I rated.

You are a SECF –Sober Emotional Constructive Follower.
This makes you a Hippie
You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you’ve made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.
You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don’t get mad, you get even.

Please don’t get even with this web site. Of the 90117 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 10.4% are this type.

A good chunk of it is dead on but part if it is off. The title line is pretty close. I’ve always been odd this way. I tend to follow when I’m not sure of myself. Once I am, I take over and lead all the way. The first sentence is dead on me. The second sentence is close. I tend to be confident in my “rightness” until proven otherwise. Once you prove me wrong or in error, I will acquiesce. The third sentence is dead on except for the chaste part. Boy, they couldn’t have been more wrong! lololol The next two sentences are pretty accurate up until the massive mean streak. I do have a mean streak but by no means massive and I rarely get even. Closer to the mark would be, I lash out at those who hurt me and I have a sharp tongue that I’m not afraid to use.