I got mandatoried to work overtime tonight. I’m stuck here till 3am. I am NOT happy!
Actually, it isn’t the end of the world. Tonight was a good night as I don’t have the trainer tomorrow. I haven’t been mandatoried in a while so I can’t really complain too much. Besides, it gives me a chance to catch up on my blogroll. Speaking of, I cleaned and leaned it a bit. Some old blogs that were gone or forgotten have been removed.
Blah blah blah. . .
I can report my temper tantrum over the CAD functions at work had an affect. A line-up announcement went out the very next day and the Deputy Director stopped me to find out the details. I couldn’t believe she actually agreed w/me for once. I rarely feel self-righteous but sometimes it just feels sooooo good. *climbing off the cross because I’m sure someone else needs the wood *
In other news, I have a date Friday night after my EMT ride along.1 We’ve gone out before. Its more of a ‘friends w/benefits‘ scenario but we rarely see each other so I’m looking forward to it. And speaking of dates, I ran into a guy in the Castro this week that I see at Gold’s gym sometimes. Actually, I ran into him 4 different times in the space of 2 hours. I finally stopped and flirted by asking if he was stalking me. He is just delish to look at it even if a wee bit young for me. He has a few pimple scars on his face but they only add to his look.2 Up until recently, we’d only exchanged looks. I figured I wasn’t his type. Then, we bumped into each other in the steam room one day a few weeks back. He has been much more friendly ever since. Turns out, I don’t see him much because he lives up in Marin. He comes into the city on his days off to work out as the Gold’s here is bigger. I had to dash off to work so couldn’t stay around. I hugged him and gave that extra squeeze to make a point. However, I was a little flustered. I’m kicking myself now for not giving him my number. Oh well, there is always next time.
Speaking of the gym, I’m back into a consistent routine. My max weight isn’t as high as before but I’m sure it will come back quickly. I can already see some of the “tightness” returning to my muscles. I’m meeting with the new trainer this weekend to talk about routines, price, etc.
I only got one day off this week due to my change of schedule. I spent it playing Lost Planet. So far, I really like this game. This visuals are good and the levels are pretty diverse. It hasn’t caught on a lot so haven’t had much of a chance to play online yet. I’ve gotten bored w/Gears of War. I’ve beaten it twice in solo mode already. I mostly play it online now. Way more fun.
On a side rant, I’m a little annoyed. I met a gamer online recently and we hit it off as buddies pretty well. Anyway, he discovered I’m not into doing the nasty on cam so now he pretty much ignores me. Don’t get me wrong, I know that men often think with the little head vs the big head1. I so have egg on my face. Apparently, his brother-in-law is in the hospital and he has been helping with that. I feel about 2 inches tall now.
It doesn’t help that I have a fight on my hands at work right now either. I discovered this week a function built into the software we use has been disabled via a recent software update. A function so vital it could create more liability for our department as well as get people hurt. None of the supervisory staff seemed to care at all. Well, they are in for a fight because I ain’t about to drop it. I’m a tenatious bastard to say the least.2 If I have to take it to the media, I will.
There is some good news though. I found out the City is planning on hiring EMTs again soon. Like end of February soon. They are working off of an old list however, this means I can get my name on the new list! Oh, wouldn’t that give me a shit-eatin-grin!
A coworker commented on how he thought I was a perfect fit for my position as a Union Steward today. Not only am I not afraid to speak up but I’m also knowledgable about policy/procedure. And by the reaction of several supervisors/managers, I’d say I’m having an affect. One supervisor in particular won’t even speak to me now. I found out it is because he thinks I’m assurping his authority. Whatever the hell that means. I see it more as a check and balance to the system. I am here to add balance into an obviously unequal style of treatment.
It sorta got me to thinking though. Why do I like it? I don’t get paid for it and it certainly adds to my already heavy workload. Here is what I came up with.
One, I have a deeply rooted desire to ‘fix’ things. I’ve never figured out where it comes from but it’s true. I see a problem and I immediately wanna fix it. I get such a sense of accomplishment when I do “fix” something too. I’m also sure my willingness to overshare information stems from the same place.
Two, I’m a little bit of a control freak. I was always taught “if you want something done right, do it yourself“. A side rant to that, I also believe if you bitch about a problem you should be part of the solution.
Three, I have a strong desire to help people. I think this one stems from all of my own neglect as a kid1. Sort of a reverse behavior trait. I think it also gives me my sense of fair-mindedness. It is perfectly normal to have your own best interests at heart and I’m no exception however, playing the underdog often allows me to accomplish both goals in one.
Four, I’ve also wondered if it stems from my subconscious need to belong as well. Maybe all this time the ole id was trying to tell me something. Something I was missing but just didn’t know it.
Or, maybe it’s a bit of all of the above mashed into one person? I’m willing to go out on a limb here and think the latter is the truest answer. What say you?
The debriefing was last night. It was very sad as expected however, it gave all of us involved a chance to vent and share our grief together. The paramedic who treated the fallen officer was there. You could tell he was really struggling with it and was grateful to have been included.1 We all got a chance to talk and share the experience from our own perspective. I think the PD units were visibly surprised at the deph of concern that we showed.
The meeting started off on a funny note courtesy of my absent-mindedness. My bud had given me a tshirt for Chrismas that read “I have a black belt in crazy” on the front of it2. I didn’t realize I’d warn it underneath my sweater and upon taking my sweater off it sparked a few laughs. I was so completely embarrassed.3 Ironically, I think it set just the right tone for the debriefing to get under way.
I also have to give props here to a certain shift manager who gave us the rest of the evening off. In the past, she has been my arch-enemy on union issues however, she really did show compassion thru this ordeal.
So now, I’m left to focus on the future and the year ahead. I have a reprieve from school for the next 6 months and will have my required EMT hours in by the end of January. Maybe, just maybe, I can squeeze a little bit of a social life in there somewhere.
*This is a bit of a mood-killer so you may want to skip this if you are in good spirits*
The title is a police radio code. It is the worst radio code a police dispatcher in San Francisco could ever hope to hear. It means “Officer down and needs emergency assitance“. I can tell you the painful yell of a police officer who has just realized his partner is down stays with you for the rest of your career.
It is with a very heavy heart I report an SFPD Officer was shot and killed in the line of duty last night. I cannot go into details beyond what has been released to the public. I can say it was a shameful cowardly act. I was directly involved in the incident and words cannot express my dispair over such a loss. The officer in question was relatively new to the force. More importantly, he was a good cop. He represented all the qualities a good cop should have. His death is being felt deeply by all of us in the department.
I had to call off work today. I take the responsibilites of my job very seriously and was just too upset. I admit, I find solace in knowing the murderer is also dead. I know I shouldn’t think that way but I can’t help it. Think or say what you will about the police in general, an officer puts his life on the line every single day he goes to work. That sacrifice demands respect no matter who you are. Growing up the way I did, I’m also a firm believer in an ‘eye for an eye.’1 However, San Francisco is a very liberal city and had the suspect lived he would not have gotten the death penalty. The DA here doesn’t believe in it and wouldn’t have pursued it. That is another topic unto itself however, it comforts me to know the evil this man commited will not be rewarded in prison.2
In an round about way his death has strengthened my resolve to be a Paramedic. I can think of no finer a way to honor his memory. I think it would be an insult to turn away from a path with the potential to do so much good.
Rest in peace Officer Tuvera. You are gone from our lives but you are not gone from our hearts.
I’m back in SF! The cold weather broke and now its just rainy.
I survived 3 days of very boring IDT (Incident Dispatch Training) material. It didn’t help that the class was way out in Concord1. The instructors were knowledgable however, it became clear very quickly this course was meant more as an intro vs real learning. Considering how much they charged my comm. center for the course it could have been better.
That said, I did get a better understanding of just how much more prepared California is compared to other states. Our FEMA/OES rating is the highest in the nation. I sleep good at night knowing the state I call home is very proactive in protecting and sheltering its citizens in times of peril.
I’ve been so busy w/training this week not much time for anything else. For those who asked, yes, I’m loving the TV and the Xbox. No regrets there. I’ve only had one whole day so far to actually sit down and play.
The roomie and I had an interesting conversation last night. He told me he had a friend who is a financial advisor helping him get his finances in order. I bluntly asked how much debt he had and it was only a couple
thousdand dollars. This makes me wonder how much money he “isn’t” making. It is none of my business however, it doesn’t boost my confidence in his ability to pay bills. He knows my strong feelings on stability so I’m not overly worried2. We’ve had a few ‘minor’ mishaps so far. I believe it has more to do w/this management skills than lack of funds. He doesn’t plan very well and his frequent trips down to New Orleans to see the boyfriend and trips to LA to see friends aren’t helping. Anything that makes him more accountable can’t hurt.
I’m training up in Concord, CA this week? Did I also mention how much I hate Holiday Inn?
Just making sure I mentioned it….
I’ve gotten a few emails asking if I was giving up blogging. The answer, NO. I’ve just been a little busy and digesting some of my new found revelations. My post about belonging really did open my eyes a bit and give me better insight into myself. I am still adjusting to that and will do my best to keep you informed of how it radiates out into my life.
I got a nice phone call from brettcajun today. He just called to catch up and chat. He is doing well and adjusting to his new life being single. He is such a sweetheart.
Irony of ironies, my ex called me yesterday and wants to have lunch. Nothing unuusal in that in itself however, he hasn’t called me in months so I’m thinking he wants something. That’s probably a little negative on my part but I do know him pretty well.
My training yesterday dealt with WMD’s. Yes, weapons of mass destruction. All I will say on that, is it is sad that terrorists often use the very freedoms we hold most dear against us. And the argument can and has been made that our government should be allowed to bend and even break those freedoms in the name of protection. I say no, No, NO! Two wrongs never make a right and if anything we end up being not better than the bad guys.
I was struck though by all the really horrible and devastating things we do to each other on this planet in the name of God. If there was an omnipotent figure up there watching, I bet he(or she) is ashamed of us. There is a lot of talk these days of banning religion from government all together. I’ve never been a supporter of that menality as I do believe people have a right to their beliefs and should be respected. However, I’m not so sure anymore. After witnessing the deplorable lengths that so called “christians” go to in this country to force their way of life on everyone, I’m beginning to wonder if that is the answer after all.
I have a training class way out on fringe part of town today. Of course, it’s raining. Blech