social networking – Moby Files: Blog

Finale

I’ve decided to close and archive the blog.

It’s past time I think. I’m not really using it and more often than not I feel like I’m disappointing the folks who keep up with my madness.

It’s been a good run. The blog started as a continuation of my private offline journals to be a better man. It has helped me in countless ways. And I would not be the man I am today had I not struggled thru it. It’s seen me thru growth, drama, scandals, personal revelations, and a lot of random nonsense.

One might say it’s a victim of my success. Most of the reasons I started the blog don’t exist anymore. I’ve conquered many of my inner demons. I fell in (healthy) love with a man that makes me wanna be better than I am. So I find myself not really having much to say here anymore. I also promised myself I’d never turn the blog into a bitch fest about politics

Most days I’m just going thru the motions to post. Not to mention social media is a toxic cesspool these days. I’ve pulled back from almost all of it. FB/IG are just placeholders. I’ll never go back to twitter as long as it’s owned by a literal Nazi. Tiktok is my only outlet for just time killing scrolls when I need a distraction.

I’ve never had a desire to be famous and the idea of trying to be an “influencer” makes me nauseous. I’m sure I could share wisdom as an elder gay, but I just don’t have the motivation…for now. Who knows, maybe I’ll come back. I could also start a new one. The future isn’t written and I’m still kicking, so we shall see.

When I started, I never dreamed I’d end up getting 10,000 clicks a month (in my early years). During the Brentwood scandal I got 6k clicks in a single week. 😂 Today that is small potatoes in the age of viral commentary, but back then it was a big deal. People from all over the world read my madness. It was an amazing experience.

I do plan to keep the photo blog open for a bit longer. It’s on the .com version of my site.

To the roughly 100 of you who still check in, read the RSS, or send emails, I thank you for all your interest and support over these past two decades. It’s meant a lot to me. I can’t express how grateful I am.

In the coming week the blog will transition to read only. Existing comments will remain but commenting, registering, etc will all go dark. I do plan to keep it alive though. Domain fees aren’t a burden so keeping it online isn’t a problem. I’ll likely migrate it back over to blogger to avoid the yearly hosting fees at some point. For now it will just go quiet but still be available to read.

So, I say to you it has been my great honor to be part of your lives and share mine with you all.

As always, hope springs eternal…

OLTR

Yet another example social media doesn’t really help us as a society… You’d think we would be past this now, but oh no, social media has only exacerbated it IMO.

I’m surfing the Tok the other day and I stubmle across a post from a guy I follow who goes on this long diatribe wishing he could leave the gay community because of the “scene”. I delve a litte further and he is really just ranting about his hatred for open relationships (OLTR). I’m quite sure it was posted during Pride month to sell a narrative. He goes on to spell out all the woes of OLTR’s on gay culture. The real kicker was his attempt to blame said LTRs for his own single status. ^[1]Me thinks the lady doth protest too much! Don’t even get me started on the comments. Btw, I will not link to him as people lately seem to have this incessant need to go harass someone who doesn’t agree with them on a given topic. I don’t do that, instead I come here and bitch about it in my own space. He also blocked me because I made a simple comment disagreeing… *Putting on shocked face* Gasp!

I’m not here to sell the advantanges of being open or closed. For myself, your opinion doesn’t affect me. I don’t need anyone else’s belief or support to live my life the way I choose. I’m 13 years in, legally married, and very much love my husband. We are open because it works for us. Anyone eles’s commentary on the legitimacy of my relationship is just that..theirs. :-; That said, spending your time constantly judging others must get exhausting.

No one is responsible for your happiness except you. Full stop. Trying to blame guys looking for OLTRs, or more astutely blaming guys in OLTRs for being online “looking” is a just projection. But let us pretend for a moment this is a legit argument. Would you rather a guy pretend he wants monogamy, get into an LTR and then just lies and cheats, sometimes repeatedly? Or would you rather a smaller pool of available men who seek that particular trait in others? I personally prefer honesty.

If monogamy is the ultimate deal-breaker for you that is perfectly fine, but blaming others is just a deflection. If it’s truly the be all end all, then it shouldn’t sting when you find that great guy but he doesn’t want monogamy. Instead, look at it knowing you dodged a bullet. He was never going to be the right one, no matter all his other charatersitics. Accepting that also means accepting it may be very well be a deal-breaker for others on the other side of the argument. No amount of blame will ever change that.

As I’m fond of saying more recently, ‘we get one spin on this rock, build a life and relationships based on what makes you happy.’

References[+]

References
↑1	Me thinks the lady doth protest too much!

Blocking

I’m curious. How often do you block people on social media? Do you have different rules for different sites? Do you have a line that can’t be crossed? Or is it arbitrary?

I’m curious as I block folks often. I’ll share some of my reasons later.

Spill it. Lol How often do you block people or do you even block at all?

Cringey

If you use any social media these days, I’m sure you’ve seen the cringe content. ^[1]Content that is blatantly made to show off a person’s anatomy, usually to advertise their fans or similar accounts Or maybe I’m just a whore and the one seeing it a lot. hehehe Continuing on the vein that me being a whore is not the problem, it has really picked up a lot lately. Don’t even get me started on the “influencers.”

Most days, I just block the worst ones and keep going. On one hand, I feel like it’s just one more step in the demoralization of society thru social media and the “me” mentality. On the other hand, I’m glad to see more people are less judgmental about sex work. I see zero problems with a person using what they got to make a living. You use your mind to get jobs, why is using your body any different? As long as you are a consenting adult not being coerced, go for it.

That said, that’s not my purpose for being on social media. I’m always saddened when an account I already follow starts their own fan site. Inevitably, their social accounts all turn into ad-engines for their “content”. It’s usually an unfollow from me. I might be shallow, but I need something other than a boner to keep me following someone. (Don’t say it, Steve.)

The hubby will just roll his eyes sometimes when I’m scrolling thru YouTube shorts on the TV. It’s 50% weird/funny and 50% hot guys. Some of the content is a little cringy and some of it is just awful. lolol Luckily, I don’t get my self-esteem thru comparing myself to these guys so it’s not a negative…for me. I can understand for some it could end up being harmful. That is definitely a nut we can crack another day. I’m ranting about my shallowness right now after all. And in that vein of thought, ^[2]see what I did there? Lol some of the more aggressive advertisements have taken to using toys to show off what they “have”, so to speak. I’m like, do you think we can’t tell? Or do people just not care? Do people pay for hot guys waving around a fake appendage as if it’s real? Inquiring minds need to know! A quick Google search shows many of them turn out to have the goods (allegedly ), but I guess they need it to appear more visible than it otherwise would without full exposure.

And knowing what some of them make, I wonder if I chose the wrong career path sometimes. I’m too old for that life but it’s a shame it took so long for “fan” sites to not only be accepted but popular. I could have made a bank. 😜 And none of that coy teasing nonsense either.

I wish you could see me laughing as I type this stuff. The blog was always focused on my self-discovery and growth for so many years, I don’t think my silly side came across as part of my personality often enough.

Now you know. 🙂

References[+]

References
↑1	Content that is blatantly made to show off a person’s anatomy, usually to advertise their fans or similar accounts
↑2	see what I did there? Lol

Random Bits 2023

I haven’t done a Random Bits post in forever…or blog for that matter. Well, new year, new me, right? Where does the time go…?

I bought a new and improved air fryer awhile back and I’ve been on a cooking kick ever since. Technically, we already have an air fryer but the old one just wasn’t cutting it. I upgraded to the Ninja Double XL and it is a boss! ^[1]You know you’re old when you’re excited about an air fryer The old one was a Ninja, but it was flat with an option to flip up when not in use. It was great for saving counterspace, but it didn’t leave much room for anything heavy duty and was a major pain to clean. This one actually puts a nice crisp on chicken as well.

I’ve been making Shorts on YouTube. Basically, it’s Google’s attempt to take on “the Tiktok.” It is not quite as user friendly, but TT could be banned soon if you work for any government agency. I’d rather not have to delete all my vids. My Google profile is one of the few under Sfmobius instead of the generic Ibod8x5 handle I use everywhere else. If you care to subscribe, go for it but not using it daily yet. Just random bits that strike me as funny. ^[2]See what I did there?

Work has been a mess, but that is sort of normal. Sadly, we are shorter now than we’ve ever been. There are fewer of us now than when I started. We are doing triple the work with fewer people. I’m actually considering changing jobs. I’d stay in civil service and most likely within the same dept, just a different division. The software project I worked on and my stint in records reminded me I have other skill sets. Let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger and I certainly do not wish to be in my 60’s still answering 911 calls. ^[3]I can’t retire with full benefits until age 62. It’s not a definite but I’m keeping my eyes open for available positions.

SF has had a ton of rain this season. Oddly, we need it as we seem to get less and less fog every year now. The last couple storms have been close to what we would consider a normal storm back in TX. They even had thunder and lightning. Both of the latter are very unusual for SF. People talk about it for weeks afterwards. This has been a definite rainy season for the whole state. Even the perpetually dry Southeastern side of Cali might be out of “drought” for the first time in years.

I could fill pages with my thoughts on the state of world affairs, but that is sooooo depressing. Don’t get me started. I avoid the news as much as I can most days as it’s all just frustrating. We’ve come so far and seem to be going backwards now. If another human tells me they “long for the good ole days” I swear I may punch them in the dick. The good ole days were great only if you were straight, white, and male.

Yes, I know the sfmoby.com site is a mess. IG changed the rules for sharing to third party sites and I haven’t had the time or will power to sit down and sort it all out. Speaking of IG, I find myself using it less and less. Meta is determined to turn it into TikTok and failing miserably at it.

Daisy is sassy as ever. We had to upgrade to a king size bed because she kept pushing Shawn off the bed at night. It’s all his doing anyway. When we first rescued her, I wanted her to sleep on the floor but nooooo, we had to let her sleep in the bed. 🙂 We bought a Nolah mattress; a hybrid foam/traditional. It was rated very high for side sleepers. So far, we really like it. The last one didn’t hold up well at all. We’d only had it a couple years. The new bed dominates the room but honestly, we don’t do much in there but sleep anyway. Shawn and I have both noticed a significant difference in our sleep patterns. While I snore less since the nasal surgery, we both snore and we both seem to snore a little less as well. That, or we are far enough part not to wake each other up as often. hehehe

Enough rambling for now, time to try a new air fryer recipe.

References[+]

References
↑1	You know you’re old when you’re excited about an air fryer
↑2	See what I did there?
↑3	I can’t retire with full benefits until age 62.

Pride…

…otherwise known as GHHD1 ^[1]Gay High Holy Day #1 is this month. And again this year we see people in a pissing match about changes to the Pride flag. It’s downright embarrassing at times. While I tend to avoid the keyboard warrior approach, after more than a few disparaging comments, I have a few thoughts….

Claiming the flag was designed in its original form to include everyone, while technically true, is irrelevant. If you actually knew your “herstory,” you would know it was changed almost immediately after it came out. It is not sacrosanct. And nowhere did the original creator say or even infer the flag should never be changed. The only constant in life is everything changes. The flag is what we make it.

I personally like the original version only for its simplicity. It calls to me with the meaning and design. I also originally liked the idea of keeping it the same, but I listened, I learned, and I understand better now. ^[2]Not so hard really And considering how co-opted the flag has become by corporations, who just want our money, I also like the idea of the new variations.

And I’m about to step on some feelings here, but it’s meant as tough love. Exactly why is it most of the complaints are coming from cis white gay men (CWGM)? Mmhmmmmmm? If you don’t like the variations of the flag then use the one you like. No one is forcing you to do otherwise. Like seriously, how are you in any way harmed? ^[3]The older I get the more I wish white people in general would just shut the hell up. Lawd, we have such thin skins on just about everything.

A lot of CWGM feel attacked anytime someone calls out how often our PoC, Trans, Non-binary cousins etc aren’t as accepted in our community. And it’s good you still feel uncomfortable, it means there is still good in you. But, it is time to stop pussyfooting around and own our part. I say our because I am a CWGM. If I can learn and grow so can you. Channel those feelings in the pit of your stomach into something useful. And a word to the wise, you can disassociate any personal involvement because you’re not one of the bad gays, but that doesn’t erase the issue. You can do better by just closing your mouth, taking a seat, and listening.

You have to ask yourself, is it any real surprise many groups in our alphabet mafia ^[4]lovingly borrowed from TikTok don’t feel included? CWGM have spent decades using phrases like “no fats, no fems, no black, asians, straight acting only, etc“. How can you be shocked these same groups do not feel recognized? We don’t want lesbians in our bars. We don’t want trans men in our play spaces. We don’t want fem men virtually anywhere, except drag. Come on! Deep down you know why. These stigmas persist even today all over this country.

Being gay didn’t erase racism or the privilege many CWGM are afforded in society. And while you can’t always control that, it’s ok to acknowledge and accept it. You don’t need to get your knickers in a twist just because someone calls it out. Let that uncomfortable awkward feeling guide you to do better. If we did a better job making others feel included instead of “less than” us, maybe they wouldn’t need or want their own version of the pride flag. Frankly, collectively they outnumber us so be grateful the shoe isn’t on the other foot.

So… I humbly ask anyone reading this to try a different path. Instead of complaining about what the flag should be, just accept that no one person owns the Pride flag. Nor does any single group in our community own the flag. You don’t get to tell others what the Pride flag means to them. You don’t get to tell them they can’t make changes. Instead, use whatever version you feel connected too and let others do the same. /rant

I’ll most likely be working on Pride this year. While I have my issues with the commercialization of Pride, with recent events it is clear we still very much need it. I volunteered for the field detail overseeing medical dispatch for the fair. I have worked it for years prior to the pandemic. After the lockdowns, I’m now eager to be out there again seeing the sea of faces.

Whatever your path, I wish you a happy, safe AND inclusive Pride.

And as always, hope springs eternal….

References[+]

References
↑1	Gay High Holy Day #1
↑2	Not so hard really
↑3	The older I get the more I wish white people in general would just shut the hell up. Lawd, we have such thin skins on just about everything.
↑4	lovingly borrowed from TikTok