social networking – Moby Files: Blog

Cringey

If you use any social media these days, I’m sure you’ve seen the cringe content. ^[1]Content that is blatantly made to show off a person’s anatomy, usually to advertise their fans or similar accounts Or maybe I’m just a whore and the one seeing it a lot. hehehe Continuing on the vein that me being a whore is not the problem, it has really picked up a lot lately. Don’t even get me started on the “influencers.”

Most days, I just block the worst ones and keep going. On one hand, I feel like it’s just one more step in the demoralization of society thru social media and the “me” mentality. On the other hand, I’m glad to see more people are less judgmental about sex work. I see zero problems with a person using what they got to make a living. You use your mind to get jobs, why is using your body any different? As long as you are a consenting adult not being coerced, go for it.

That said, that’s not my purpose for being on social media. I’m always saddened when an account I already follow starts their own fan site. Inevitably, their social accounts all turn into ad-engines for their “content”. It’s usually an unfollow from me. I might be shallow, but I need something other than a boner to keep me following someone. (Don’t say it, Steve.)

The hubby will just roll his eyes sometimes when I’m scrolling thru YouTube shorts on the TV. It’s 50% weird/funny and 50% hot guys. Some of the content is a little cringy and some of it is just awful. lolol Luckily, I don’t get my self-esteem thru comparing myself to these guys so it’s not a negative…for me. I can understand for some it could end up being harmful. That is definitely a nut we can crack another day. I’m ranting about my shallowness right now after all. And in that vein of thought, ^[2]see what I did there? Lol some of the more aggressive advertisements have taken to using toys to show off what they “have”, so to speak. I’m like, do you think we can’t tell? Or do people just not care? Do people pay for hot guys waving around a fake appendage as if it’s real? Inquiring minds need to know! A quick Google search shows many of them turn out to have the goods (allegedly ), but I guess they need it to appear more visible than it otherwise would without full exposure.

And knowing what some of them make, I wonder if I chose the wrong career path sometimes. I’m too old for that life but it’s a shame it took so long for “fan” sites to not only be accepted but popular. I could have made a bank. 😜 And none of that coy teasing nonsense either.

I wish you could see me laughing as I type this stuff. The blog was always focused on my self-discovery and growth for so many years, I don’t think my silly side came across as part of my personality often enough.

Now you know. 🙂

References[+]

References
↑1	Content that is blatantly made to show off a person’s anatomy, usually to advertise their fans or similar accounts
↑2	see what I did there? Lol

Random Bits 2023

I haven’t done a Random Bits post in forever…or blog for that matter. Well, new year, new me, right? Where does the time go…?

I bought a new and improved air fryer awhile back and I’ve been on a cooking kick ever since. Technically, we already have an air fryer but the old one just wasn’t cutting it. I upgraded to the Ninja Double XL and it is a boss! ^[1]You know you’re old when you’re excited about an air fryer The old one was a Ninja, but it was flat with an option to flip up when not in use. It was great for saving counterspace, but it didn’t leave much room for anything heavy duty and was a major pain to clean. This one actually puts a nice crisp on chicken as well.

I’ve been making Shorts on YouTube. Basically, it’s Google’s attempt to take on “the Tiktok.” It is not quite as user friendly, but TT could be banned soon if you work for any government agency. I’d rather not have to delete all my vids. My Google profile is one of the few under Sfmobius instead of the generic Ibod8x5 handle I use everywhere else. If you care to subscribe, go for it but not using it daily yet. Just random bits that strike me as funny. ^[2]See what I did there?

Work has been a mess, but that is sort of normal. Sadly, we are shorter now than we’ve ever been. There are fewer of us now than when I started. We are doing triple the work with fewer people. I’m actually considering changing jobs. I’d stay in civil service and most likely within the same dept, just a different division. The software project I worked on and my stint in records reminded me I have other skill sets. Let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger and I certainly do not wish to be in my 60’s still answering 911 calls. ^[3]I can’t retire with full benefits until age 62. It’s not a definite but I’m keeping my eyes open for available positions.

SF has had a ton of rain this season. Oddly, we need it as we seem to get less and less fog every year now. The last couple storms have been close to what we would consider a normal storm back in TX. They even had thunder and lightning. Both of the latter are very unusual for SF. People talk about it for weeks afterwards. This has been a definite rainy season for the whole state. Even the perpetually dry Southeastern side of Cali might be out of “drought” for the first time in years.

I could fill pages with my thoughts on the state of world affairs, but that is sooooo depressing. Don’t get me started. I avoid the news as much as I can most days as it’s all just frustrating. We’ve come so far and seem to be going backwards now. If another human tells me they “long for the good ole days” I swear I may punch them in the dick. The good ole days were great only if you were straight, white, and male.

Yes, I know the sfmoby.com site is a mess. IG changed the rules for sharing to third party sites and I haven’t had the time or will power to sit down and sort it all out. Speaking of IG, I find myself using it less and less. Meta is determined to turn it into TikTok and failing miserably at it.

Daisy is sassy as ever. We had to upgrade to a king size bed because she kept pushing Shawn off the bed at night. It’s all his doing anyway. When we first rescued her, I wanted her to sleep on the floor but nooooo, we had to let her sleep in the bed. 🙂 We bought a Nolah mattress; a hybrid foam/traditional. It was rated very high for side sleepers. So far, we really like it. The last one didn’t hold up well at all. We’d only had it a couple years. The new bed dominates the room but honestly, we don’t do much in there but sleep anyway. Shawn and I have both noticed a significant difference in our sleep patterns. While I snore less since the nasal surgery, we both snore and we both seem to snore a little less as well. That, or we are far enough part not to wake each other up as often. hehehe

Enough rambling for now, time to try a new air fryer recipe.

References[+]

References
↑1	You know you’re old when you’re excited about an air fryer
↑2	See what I did there?
↑3	I can’t retire with full benefits until age 62.

Pride…

…otherwise known as GHHD1 ^[1]Gay High Holy Day #1 is this month. And again this year we see people in a pissing match about changes to the Pride flag. It’s downright embarrassing at times. While I tend to avoid the keyboard warrior approach, after more than a few disparaging comments, I have a few thoughts….

Claiming the flag was designed in its original form to include everyone, while technically true, is irrelevant. If you actually knew your “herstory,” you would know it was changed almost immediately after it came out. It is not sacrosanct. And nowhere did the original creator say or even infer the flag should never be changed. The only constant in life is everything changes. The flag is what we make it.

I personally like the original version only for its simplicity. It calls to me with the meaning and design. I also originally liked the idea of keeping it the same, but I listened, I learned, and I understand better now. ^[2]Not so hard really And considering how co-opted the flag has become by corporations, who just want our money, I also like the idea of the new variations.

And I’m about to step on some feelings here, but it’s meant as tough love. Exactly why is it most of the complaints are coming from cis white gay men (CWGM)? Mmhmmmmmm? If you don’t like the variations of the flag then use the one you like. No one is forcing you to do otherwise. Like seriously, how are you in any way harmed? ^[3]The older I get the more I wish white people in general would just shut the hell up. Lawd, we have such thin skins on just about everything.

A lot of CWGM feel attacked anytime someone calls out how often our PoC, Trans, Non-binary cousins etc aren’t as accepted in our community. And it’s good you still feel uncomfortable, it means there is still good in you. But, it is time to stop pussyfooting around and own our part. I say our because I am a CWGM. If I can learn and grow so can you. Channel those feelings in the pit of your stomach into something useful. And a word to the wise, you can disassociate any personal involvement because you’re not one of the bad gays, but that doesn’t erase the issue. You can do better by just closing your mouth, taking a seat, and listening.

You have to ask yourself, is it any real surprise many groups in our alphabet mafia ^[4]lovingly borrowed from TikTok don’t feel included? CWGM have spent decades using phrases like “no fats, no fems, no black, asians, straight acting only, etc“. How can you be shocked these same groups do not feel recognized? We don’t want lesbians in our bars. We don’t want trans men in our play spaces. We don’t want fem men virtually anywhere, except drag. Come on! Deep down you know why. These stigmas persist even today all over this country.

Being gay didn’t erase racism or the privilege many CWGM are afforded in society. And while you can’t always control that, it’s ok to acknowledge and accept it. You don’t need to get your knickers in a twist just because someone calls it out. Let that uncomfortable awkward feeling guide you to do better. If we did a better job making others feel included instead of “less than” us, maybe they wouldn’t need or want their own version of the pride flag. Frankly, collectively they outnumber us so be grateful the shoe isn’t on the other foot.

So… I humbly ask anyone reading this to try a different path. Instead of complaining about what the flag should be, just accept that no one person owns the Pride flag. Nor does any single group in our community own the flag. You don’t get to tell others what the Pride flag means to them. You don’t get to tell them they can’t make changes. Instead, use whatever version you feel connected too and let others do the same. /rant

I’ll most likely be working on Pride this year. While I have my issues with the commercialization of Pride, with recent events it is clear we still very much need it. I volunteered for the field detail overseeing medical dispatch for the fair. I have worked it for years prior to the pandemic. After the lockdowns, I’m now eager to be out there again seeing the sea of faces.

Whatever your path, I wish you a happy, safe AND inclusive Pride.

And as always, hope springs eternal….

References[+]

References
↑1	Gay High Holy Day #1
↑2	Not so hard really
↑3	The older I get the more I wish white people in general would just shut the hell up. Lawd, we have such thin skins on just about everything.
↑4	lovingly borrowed from TikTok

Twit

Thoughts on 3lon buying the blue bird?

For myself, I barely use twitter anymore so I’m not trying to necessarily pick a side here. I am deeply concerned about how this will unravel though. He has plans to fundamentally alter twitter IMO. Like it or not, twitter has become a household name. It is a mass communication tool with global reach.

I’ve already seen folks within the #alphabetmafia applauding his purchase. I wonder if they’ve thought this through. twitter will now be privately owned, which means he can do whatever he wants with it (within some limits). He can dis(allow) any content he deems (un)worthy. He could try to monitize it thru more than just ads. What happens if he does and decides porn is no longer allowed? Can you say “Tumblr?” You may not care if porn gets the axe, but LGBT+ issues are routinely flagged as “adult material” online.

He may be the new sole owner but he leveraged that purchase and he will want a return on his investment. Keep in mind, this all started because he was censored for spreading conspiracies. Who will keep that in check now? I mean twitter wasn’t doing a bang up job before, but there was some effort to keep it honest.

I have no idea how this will play out. I don’t have any immediate plans to delete my accounts. I also wish I could say I don’t care, but I do. The ramifications of this are breathtaking.

A single man just bought a social media company with over 300 million users. What does that kind of wealth say about our society? What does it say about our future?

Perky

Ever have one of those days where for no apparent reason you have an extra pep in your step? You feel extra just for being awake? Or, you just feel awesome for no real reason? I had one recently and I was tickled pink when I realized it. I guess it has been so long I had almost forgotten what it felt like. At face value that sounds kind of sad, but considering the state of the world these last couple years anyone could be forgiven.

I tend to be a rather upbeat person. It is just my nature. As I push 51, it is also a mark of pride I still have such days. My job has certainly had an impact on a subconscious level. Being on an assignment for the past 5 years definitely helped. In general, I believe life’s responsibilities and worries tend to wear us down and take the “shine” off our world view. That said, I definitely missed the feeling and hope I’ve found enough of my old optimism to have more of them. The irony here is in some of the roughest times of my life I was the most optimistic. Nothing really seemed to tarnish my boundless good moods back then. One could say I’m a bit more jaded now.

I can’t help but wonder if my recent attempts to limit my social media exposure has anything to do with it. I spend less than 15 mins a day on FB or twitter. About 90% of my IG feed is thirst traps and gym motivation. My brain gets its fill of context switching from TikTok, where I’ve curated a feed of comedy and funny home videos. ^[1]Context Switching can be highly addicting and destructive to your work day or motivation I’ve also started denying myself the urge to check media/news apps first thing in the morning. I deliberately avoid them for at least 30 mins to an hour to give myself time to wake up and just be present. I pick up my phone and briefly scroll the notification panel for anything truly urgent and then just avoid it for a while.

I’m fond of saying “hope springs eternal” here and it has been a struggle these last 4-5 years to follow that mantra. Not to go all doom and gloom but I’m seriously worried for our way of life. Greed, bias and anti-intellectualism has replaced integrity, truth, and science. But, at the end of the day, I can only control myself. I cannot control others. My innate desire to “correct someone on the internet who is wrong” is slowly being replaced by a “leave it alone“. Successful discourse online is all but dead. I firmly believe my avoidance of that toxic environment is having an effect on me. I’m eager to test the theory.

So….hope springs eternal… (you knew it was coming.)

References[+]

References
↑1	Context Switching can be highly addicting and destructive to your work day or motivation

Gloomy News

If you’ve been living under a rock, it came out this week Facebook has been lying to us all along. A whistleblower came forward and spilled a bunch of dirt on the down right shitty behavior of FB, not that any of us should be surprised. Social media has become a poison in our lives IMO. It does far more harm than good. I get that social media is what we make it, but that argument only holds up in an unbiased scenario. FB has demonstrated they are manipulating us.

I’ve been weening myself off FB to the point I spend less than 15 mins online on any given day. Mostly, I peruse a few comments/profiles or share the occasional news article. There are days I get caught up in the “someone on the internet is wrong” mentality, but those are rare now. Frankly, it’s not worth it. I plan to eventually phase out sharing any news content at all as well. I turned off notifications for FB sometime ago and it has panned out to be an excellent decision.

Then we find out last week AT&T was the primary sponsor for the propaganda site OAN. ^[1] I wont’ link to them. The world is so used to scandal now, everyone just seemed to give a collective sigh and move on. I guess that was probably the goal. I already don’t use their products so can’t cancel my service….I highly recommend you do. OAN is the far right cousin to Fox News, with little to no pretense at propaganda. In a word, its vile.

I know I sound all doom and gloom, but the news as of late has me in a bit of a gloomy mood. I’ve been saying for awhile, we are headed for a calamity. Honestly, I think it’s coming soon. Scary stuff for sure but all I can control is me. I can control the content I read, use, and share. I can control my actions. I can control to whom I give my time and energy. If it wasn’t for my never ending sense of optimism, I think I’d need medication. I can see how folks get caught up in it and just go off the deep end.

These days my online presence is usually IG ^[2]Yes, I know FB owns it for gym inspiration and “the TikTok” ^[3]I love seeing folks go apocalyptic when I use “the” with the name for humor. I’d love to abandon social media all together, but I’m not there yet. I’d give in and be back. I figured this way, I’ll eventually just ween myself off. Hey, one can hope right? hehehe

References[+]

References
↑1	I wont’ link to them.
↑2	Yes, I know FB owns it
↑3	I love seeing folks go apocalyptic when I use “the” with the name

TikTok

Lawd help me, I’ve joined “the tiktok“. ^[1]Don’t you love when adults refer to something with a “the” in front of it? lolol I’ve actually been signed up for quite some time but I just never used it. I blame my co-worker. She kept sending me funny videos and I finally relented. I can see why the kids like it. It’s very free-form and easy to just pick up and use. And like many social media outlets, it is whatever you make it about: yourself, your life, your kids, LGBTI, politics, science, etc. It is all on there.

You can search for content; however, the more vids and people you like and follow, the more customized your feed becomes. You have basically two feeds. A wider open feed which filters from who all over and your “following” feed, which just shows vids from people you follow.

You watch a video, scroll to the next one. That’s about it for basic function. You can skip ahead or go back by swiping up and down. You can add friends, do “duets”, which is like a live reply feature, use filters, stickers, and add music tracks. It requires very little talent and it’s free. Once you start liking vids, you start getting a more ‘personalized’ feed, which is referred to as “for you”. This is the true magic of the app.

In simplest terms it is a huge time-suck! You start scrolling and before you know it an hour has gone by. When you get really deep you look up it’s 6pm and you started at noon. That is it’s single best and worst features rolled into one. lol It is utterly pointless on one hand and groundbreaking on the other. I can see why it is so addictive. And word is getting out because I routinely see older folks posting about how the kids are sending them hate-messages for being on ‘their app’.

In a weird way, it reminded me of an old movie called Brainstorm. Yes, I know unless you are close to my general age, you have no idea what it’s about…Wikipedia kiddies.

Anyway, I’m @mobiusSF. I don’t have much content. I’m still very much a ‘lurker’. (Honestly, I’m still deciding if I want to use it.)

References[+]

References
↑1	Don’t you love when adults refer to something with a “the” in front of it? lolol

Taught

It is about this time of year you start seeing people lamenting how terrible the year has been and how “they are ready for the new year.” Somehow the new year will be better. I’m usually not in this camp, but clearly that has changed this year.

I think we can all safely say 2020 has been absolute dumpster fire! It started out ok but just ran right down the shitter as things progressed. It certainly has been educational for me. I only wish I could say in a good way. My enduring faith in humanity has definitely been challenged this year.

We’ve got these insidious behind the scenes machinations trying to destroy our way of life. The greedy and power hungry are pulling the strings of our ‘leaders’ while the general populace languishes in poverty. Said population is often so focused on survival they can’t see they are being used as pawns. And seeing some of the most needy in our society support the very same people hurting them is painful to witness. More so, it is a disturbing example of history repeating itself. Rome is definitely burning, folks. To polish off the trifecta, we have the indifferent. These are the people who are well off enough to be completely immersed in the their own little bubble of existence. Occasionally, tidbits of information pierces said bubble but there is no filter to determine it’s accuracy or relevance. At some point a “working knowledge” arises from which all their decisions are based for good or bad. These are usually where you find the Karens of the world. Pity the soul that incurs their wrath by causing them any level of inconvenience.

I am not even sure what my frame of mind would be right now had I not been able to get back in the gym. I had gotten to a point about 5 months in where I wasn’t doing well. I’m sure I looked fine on the outside, but I wasn’t. But, as Elle Woods would say, “exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, happy people don’t shoot their husbands.” And I’m referring to the endorphins, not my husband. lol Being back in the gym has really helped lift my spirits and pulled me out of being depressed.

Even as I sit here writing this I am struck by my own privilege. I am fortunate to have the opportunity and comfort to sit here whining about this shitty year. I know that and for so many it has been that much harder. I wish I could say that doesn’t necessarily make the impact of this year any less painful. So yeah, I can’t wait for it to be over. I’m hoping the new year is better. I mean, hell. It can’t get much worse, right? ^[1]Don’t answer that

Hope does springs eternal…

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References
↑1	Don’t answer that