Category: society

Color Me Crazy

As if the drama last night wasn’t enough, I got called a ‘crazy racist’ online today because I wasn’t attracted to a guy sexually. Not the first time and probably not the last. Here is our conversation.

Him: Nice profile and pics, wanna come f*ck me?

Me: Hey bud, I appreciate the offer but not really a match for me. Happy Hunting.

Him: Why don’t you just admit your crazy racist ass-hole. You make me sick. [1]I got a little annoyed here and my reply could have been worded better, I’m sure.

Me: Wait. Because, I’m not attracted to you, I’m a racist asshole? And first you want me to fuck you but then I make you sick? Which is it? I could have just hit the delete button like a lot of guys on here. I took the time to politely say, “no thanks” and I’m the asshole? So, in that vein of thought, what I should have said is, “no thanks, your fugly”. Would that have been better? Do me a favor, don’t project your inability to handle rejection onto me.

Him: *I got a follow up reply but I deleted it without opening it.*

Like I said, I could have handled it better by just ignoring his pissy email. That’s my shit and I own it, moving on. Keeping in mind here, there are no racial references for or against anywhere in any of my profile(s). This leap of logic on his part was unfounded and completely out of line.

*

So, to beat this horse properly we first need to identify several important but often lost distinctions. First, there is the very real existence of racism. Right behind that comes ignorance/indifference. And bringing up the rear (pun intended) is physical attraction (or not) to certain physical traits common to one race or another.

I am not so foolish to think racism is gone in America. Quite the contrary, some of the nasty fallout over our new president shows it is still very much alive. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Forgetting for a moment the races are blending more and more with every generation, dismissing a whole section of society based solely on their race is offensive and can be classified as racism.

In relation to the gay community, I don’t think it is out and out racism as much as ignorance. [2]I am not excusing it, just stating an observation. I can’t tell you how often I see profiles with “not into Blacks or Asians.” You may not intend to be offensive but that is exactly what you are doing by making such statements. Imagine how you’d feel reading a profile of someone you found attractive and they dismissed your entire existence based on your race. I particularly love how some guys try to apologize at the same time for saying such things. If you have to apologize perhaps you shouldn’t say it. How about you just leave it out. Nothing compels you to reply, meet, or hookup with anyone you don’t wish to. Why add such inflammatory language to your profile? [3]Out of fairness, there was a time when I made this awful mistake. I am happy to say that was well over 10 years ago.

Of course, when it comes to sex you can’t force physical attraction or the lack thereof. Attraction, like our sexuality, is not always a quantifiable behavior. For the purpose of this rant, I am referring specifically to attraction and race. And herein lies the most important distinction I feel is often lost on so many. Not being attracted to a physical trait(s) common to one race or another is not racism. From my own observations, I think this is often the real root of the matter but given the ignorance mentioned above, the line quickly becomes blurred. Want a sure fire way to know? Its quite simple. If you really have no racial hang-ups, you will find that there are always exceptions to your attraction (or lack) to a particular race.

For myself, I rarely think in term of absolutes so saying I’m not into a whole race would be a lie. I have my range and it commonly crosses the races. I’ll also admit there are some physical traits common to some races I am not attracted to. And while this is a racial issue it is only in the sense of physical attraction. However, that is never an absolute either. I don’t give a rats ass what color your skin is, if I like what you have to offer and you flop it in front of me, I’m gonna taste it. Or, if I don’t, I won’t.

References

References
↑1 I got a little annoyed here and my reply could have been worded better, I’m sure.
↑2 I am not excusing it, just stating an observation.
↑3 Out of fairness, there was a time when I made this awful mistake. I am happy to say that was well over 10 years ago.

Too Through

My happiness with our new President-elect is overshadowed today.  With Prop 8 expected to pass here in CA, Prop 102 in AZ and Prop 2 in Florida passing, I have lost all respect for so called “Christian” hate-mongers.  If you’ve been living under a rock, these 3 amendments write discrimination into their respective state constitutions. 

I’ve always tried to respect peoples religious beliefs however, there comes a point where your hate, fear, and ignorance cloaked in faith is no longer acceptable.  That time has come.  After this election, you’ve made it very clear you hate me and hope to forever label me as a 2nd class citizen.  Well I’m here to tell you, I am not going away no matter how hard you try.  Nor will I blithely stand by when I hear you condemning me and mine in the name of scripture and then claiming faith as an excuse. 

Of course, there are those who still claim to be “christians” who also believe in reason and human rights.  It is you folks who are now faced with a difficult choice.  You can continue to stand by and allow your religion (aka cult) to be corrupted by greed and hate or you can take a stand.  You can stand for common decency, respect, and equal treatment of all people.  You can put your fellow “christians” on notice their behavior is not acceptable and take back your faith.  But, if you choose to stand idly by and do nothing while still identifying with those who hate me, you are no longer exempt from my scorn either. [1]I feel it is worth noting, some of the most horrific atrocities ever committed in human history were done in the name of faith.

No matter how hard you try to justify your actions using archaic scripts, you know deep down it is wrong.  And it is you who is accountable for that. 

And to be clear, I don’t hate you.  But don’t expect me to ‘turn the other cheek’ any longer. 

References

References
↑1 I feel it is worth noting, some of the most horrific atrocities ever committed in human history were done in the name of faith.

Donate, Please

I rarely ask anything of my readers other than respect.  This time I am asking a little more.  Let me be clear, I am not above begging.  The extremist wingnuts couldn’t win with the truth so they’ve taken to lying in their festering evil attempt to write discrimination into the California State constitution. 

It is a sad day indeed when the “moral majority” has to resort to lying and deceit to win their case in the hearts & minds of everyday folk.  This is one of the most important votes of the century.  Whether you live in California or not, if you believe as I do, that two people regardless of their sex should be allowed to form stable, long-term LEGAL relationships under the law, then I urge you to help out.

Please, even if you can only donate $10, take a moment and hop over to

Say NO to Prop 8.

If 1 million people gave just $1.00 that would be one million in extra funds to fight the hate and lies being brought against us in the upcoming election.

I gave $400 of my own money today.  I decided to forgo the shiny new riding jacket I wanted.  Instead, I donated the money to the No to Prop. 8 campaign.  I make this pledge.  If enough people donate from this post to raise $1000.00, I will donate $400.00 more of my own money. 

Please, I urge you, take a moment to donate whatever you can.  Even if it is only a few dollars, every little bit helps when we act together. 

All of these fine folks have also helped out. I’ll add every link I discover to this post.

roblog
Romach
Joe my God
Towleroad
Bear Schmear
Queeristan
Gooster
Mathias n Oz
SwimfinsSF
thisboyelroy

Hysterical

Does anyone else find it oddly amusing that the religious F&F’s [1]fundamentalists and fanatics selectively pick and choose disasters to blame on gays?  Several of the crazy sites (of which I will never link to here) are blaming the current financial crisis and resulting company failures on gays.  Wha-wha-what?  Gays caused the financial meltdown in our country? 

I particularly like how they liken our influence to total control yet we still don’t have basic rights in most of the Union.  I mean if our control was that iron clad wouldn’t we already have equal protections?  Oh right, God is keeping us in check.  I get it, blame the deity of choice as to avoid rational thought and common sense. 

*

I just finished watching the VP debate.  So basically Palin is considered a success because she didn’t stick her foot in her mouth?  Or at least that is what the political pundits on CNN think.  The VP is second in line for the presidency and we rate her a success on making it thru a debate w/o a major blunder?   My my, what high standards we have. 

I came away feeling that Palin has good memorization skills and looks good on camera.  As a VP she would pretty much be a figurehead that does what she is told.  Not necessarily a bad thing for a VP however, the though of her stepping into the presidency makes me shudder.  And while Biden didn’t particularly wow me, I felt he had a firmer grasp on reality and is much more qualified to be the VP.  I particularly liked his phrasing on gay rights.  While he said he didn’t support gay marriage, his phrasing clearly indicates he was referring to it in a religious sense not a civil rights sense.  Very well said in my opinion.  

References

References
↑1 fundamentalists and fanatics

Blog On Betches

And now for something not completely about me…

I’ve weighed in lately on several sights about the future/fate of blogging.  Some still think blogging is the next best thing since sliced bread.  Others think blogging has reached its peak and is slowly dying a painful agonizing death.

For my .02, I don’t really agree 100% with either camp.  I do think like any medium, blogging is evolving and will continue to do so.  The new blogs popping up every day have declined dramatically.  No argument there.  But, I don’t necessarily contribute that to a  slow death.  I think it has more to do with market saturation and the natural evolution of the medium.  Blogging is not the “new thing” anymore. [1]One might argue micro-blogging is the new/old “thing”  That said, it has managed to cross social, political, cultural, informative, and even entertainment boundaries to become an almost universal form of interaction.  Even the traditional news/media outlets woke up and realized blogging was changing the very way we disseminate and gather news in general.  And like any medium, I think in time blogging will settle into it’s niche market and continue to thrive and prosper.  Whether it be for purely personal or profit, I absolutely think blogging is here to stay.

I don’t really care to delve into the political or profitable side of blogging.  I think living in a capitalistic culture that speaks for itself.  From the social side, we’ve seen blogs come and go.  I’ll be the first to admit it is sad to see a favorite blog end.  But if you think about it, how is that any different from life?  People come and go in our lives every day.  From the mundane and random to the profound and life-changing, we get a birds-eye view of the true characteristics of humanity, good and bad.  We’ve also seen our share of fakes, flakes, and flashes.  To me, the latter group (and the fallout surrounding) shows us how much we still need to grow as a species in general. 

I firmly believe, like anything in life, you get out of blogging what you put into it.  If you just randomly post or interact then you should probably expect the same in return.  I often hear from many of my own commenters they are afraid to start blogging because they don’t feel their own lives are engaging or exciting enough.  To that I say, who cares?  If you find comfort or solace in being able to share your life and experiences however mundane, then I say go for it.  You don’t need permission.  You don’t need a rabid following.  You don’t have to be a prolific writer or linguist. [2]Good lord, look at the mosh pit of grammatical errors my own blog represents. heehee  From a purely social aspect, all you really need is an opinion, conviction to follow thru, and the ability to type.  It really is that simple.

My own venture into blogging was originally a mechanism to deal with a painful breakup.  Afterwards, it became an avenue of therapy and self-exploration.  Having chronicled such a significant part of my life has been richly rewarding.  I’ve always said I blog first and foremost for me.  That is still true today.  Yes, I know people read and comment and I appreciate that. [3]Being from the South and always having an opinion on practically everything has helped.  lol  Looking back over my own blog entries has shown me how much I have and am growing as a man.  The very act of blogging has given me a sense of belonging that I never had before. 

Will I always blog?  I can’t really say.  The future is a devious and every changing beast.  I will say I have no immediate plans to stop, that is for sure.  Do I think blogging in general will be around for years to come?  Absolutely.

References

References
↑1 One might argue micro-blogging is the new/old “thing”
↑2 Good lord, look at the mosh pit of grammatical errors my own blog represents. heehee
↑3 Being from the South and always having an opinion on practically everything has helped.  lol

Random Pic



Da Omna Santis

Originally uploaded by ibod8x5


I’m fast becoming addicted to flickr. I swore off of it for quite some time however, the site is just so damn convenient it is too hard to say no. I regretted actually paying for a premium account but, being a control freak, the yearly $25.00 won’t kill me.

I decided I would randomly post pics from flickr just for shits and grins. I took this one a while back at the old Sutro baths here. I have no idea what the latin inscription means or even if it is real.

Footprint

roblog was discussing energy waste on his blog the other day and it got me to thinking about my own carbon footprint. I decided to do a test to see how much my daily life impacts the planet. [1]I took several as none of the free tests were really 100% related to me. I knew I’d get dinged for all the electricity I use to power my plethora of gadgets. What I didn’t know was how much of an offset I’d get from recycling and my lack of yearly transportation costs.

My househould usage was the highest. No brainer there. I factored in my roommate here as well. We don’t have a choice in some areas like types of appliances, insulation, etc. However, we do use energy saving lightbulbs vs the plain old power mongers. We turn off lights and appliances not in use. We also recycle quite a bit. Being in SF, it tends to be easier to heat/cool our apartment so we save there too. Even with all my power hungry gadgets, we were below the national average.

Neither of us own cars however, I do own a motorcycle. Even rounding up to 50 gallons a year, I’m way way below the national average. Hell 50 gallons is one month for most folks with cars. I don’t fly much so my impact here was also very low. My roomie tends to fly a lot more than I do but that doesn’t translate to communal costs so I didn’t include his flight time. I usually take 3-4 trips a year max.

All in all, I’m less than half the national average. I have to admit I’m happy about that. I know it tends to be easier here so I can’t take all the credit. I discovered there is still room for improvement. I never considered how much effort was spent removing food/scraps from drinking water. Decomposing food breeds all kinds of nasty micro-beasties and that takes energy to clean. Growing up in the country, I never even considered the impact discarded food would have on my waste water. I guess it is time to start recycling our food waste as well. We have bins for it so it’s not even an inconvenience.

What is your footprint? Maybe it’s time to look at how you can improve that.

References

References
↑1 I took several as none of the free tests were really 100% related to me.

Super Platter

If you are a football fan, you might wanna skip this rant. 

It’s no secret I’m not a football fan.  However, if I hear another fag rant about the superbowl today, I think I might start screaming.  I enjoy sports as much as they next guy but we have some fucked up priorities in this country.  Have we forgotten the rampant homophobia in professional football?  Call me weird but I don’t think I’ll follow any sport where most of the players would just as soon spit on me as to look at me.  I’ll skip the laundry list of other issues related to the players.  I find it hilarious that we can’t be bothered to get out and vote but we can gather in massive numbers to support a sport that consistently tells us they hate us. 

No, I won’t be watching the superbowl today.  I’ll stick to my freak-accepting scifi shows.