Category: random thoughts

Blog On

Durban Bud and I were lamenting the loss of talents in the blog world the other day while he was here. And its true, many of my favorite reads over the years have given up blogging. Some have made the transition to FB [1]I’m becoming increasingly annoyed with Facebook, twitter, etc, while others just stopped. And while I’ll admit even I have cut back, the blogging bug still bites me on a regular basis. On the upside, some folks have continued to blog away. [2]Now, if I can just get them to update their damn blogs to be mobile compatible!  Others have even increased. I (think) I recently mentioned I deleted my old blogroll by mistake. I happened upon an archived copy last night and was dismayed at the number of blogs on my list that had stopped updating and/or were gone.

My blog has always been about my own personal growth (or lack thereof at times) and continues to be so, for the most part. But I have cut back primarily because I have worked thru so many of my issues over the years, frankly I don’t have that many left. lolol  Its no secret I often used my blog as a form of self-therapy. Well I’m happy to say it worked. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my issues but I am not the mess I was when I first moved to SF. heehee 

My writings (and sharing it with others) gave me a chance to really explore not only who I was but who I wanted to be. It gave me a chance to be introspective, a trait I lacked at the time. I guess it was only a matter of time before things changed. While DB and I were talking, I was shocked to realize how long I have been blogging. It was August 15th 2004 when I sat down and wrote my first post! The ex and I were starting to have problems and I needed somewhere to vent. I’d heard about blogging and thought, ‘why not?’

Nowadays, I find I have less time and less drama to blog about. Plus, with a new man in my life and a much busier work schedule, it is harder and harder to sit down and really write stuff out. I’ll often think of stuff to blather on about but by the time I find time to actually type, I’ve moved on (or its gone stale in my mind). I still write in my daily journals but that is so tedious. I keep those private as they are so mundane, what’s the point?

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll continue blogging because I always have something to say. (I know, color you surprised right?) But, as I age and move on with my life I’m a little saddened that it probably won’t ever have the focus it once did. Or at the very least, not for the reasons I originally started blogging anyway. Hope springs eternal…

References

References
↑1 I’m becoming increasingly annoyed with Facebook
↑2 Now, if I can just get them to update their damn blogs to be mobile compatible!

Evolution

No, not the kind traditionally taught in schools. I’m referring instead to the evolution of a homo, namely me.  🙂

I was out with my buddy Nikitas last night and at one point during the evening I was suddenly struck by the difference in the person I am today and the person I was 20 years ago. [1]That said, being more than a little hung  over today, my brain is having problems functioning. Apologies if it comes out all garbled. Thru a series of choices, I’ve evolved into a completely different person over time.

Some of my decisions and choices in life have been constructive and fruitful. These are easy to accept and reflect on because they represent accomplishment. Take my sense of morality for instance. My parental units catered to the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ method of parenting so you can understand my confusion in that area. But I chose a better path for myself. I chose to rise above the state I was in after childhood and move beyond it.

But what about the choices we regret or ended badly? I used to think if I had my life to do over there are a ton of things I’d do differently. But as I get older I’m not so sure. Those choices had a huge impact on the man I am today. Would going back and having a ‘do over’ turn out any better? Or better yet, having avoided some of the bad choices in my life, would I still be the man I am now? I’m not so sure I would be. The bad teaches us to value the good more. Living a life with the intent of avoiding anything bad is self defeating as it also means you avoid the good. Like the traditional sense of good and evil, one cannot exist w/o the other. They are simply 2 sides of the same coin.

I’ve made bad choices in my life. But some of those choices helped to shape me into a better man. Am I perfect now? Hell no but I am better. Therein lies the key difference I think.

References

References
↑1 That said, being more than a little hung  over today, my brain is having problems functioning. Apologies if it comes out all garbled.

Read/Write

While I don’t blog as much as I used to, I’m always tickled when people I know ‘come out’ about reading my blog. I’ve had 2 coworkers and 2 friends fess up this week. Why they felt it was a secret is beyond me. My blog is and has always been public. While I do sometimes hide my more personal thoughts, [1]even most of those get shared usually its perfectly easy to find me. That said, I’ve made a few changes as of late. Some out of necessity and others out of convenience.

I’ve always made it a point not to use my real name online. [2]Considering only a handful of people actually call me by my real name its kind of a moot point in my mind.  When searching, I realize it presents some challenges if that is your only frame of reference. But, if that is your only frame of reference then you probably don’t know me that well anyway. Right?  Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with people knowing my real name, I just decided a long time ago it was prudent not to use it in a medium rife with the potential for abuse i.e. the internet. So far, it has served me pretty well.

On the flip side, for a long time my personal and work worlds almost never mixed. As time has passed, that has changed quite a bit. Many of my coworkers often read my blog and share their insights with me in person. Knowing me in person, they are rarely surprised by what they read. lol That said, there are some things they just wouldn’t understand. I used to spend a lot of time and effort managing “restricted” content on the old archive. It was very time consuming to say the least. I finally got tired of messing with it and just made it all private. Time will tell if I ever bring it back. I’m sure as the use of universal log-ins become the norm, there will be newer and easier ways to manage users but for now you do not need to log-in when you visit le ole blog. It still helps w/commenting but content-wise everything is pretty much the same.

References

References
↑1 even most of those get shared usually
↑2 Considering only a handful of people actually call me by my real name its kind of a moot point in my mind.

Ouch

I’m still having issues with my shoulders. I guess I tweaked’em more than I thought originally. I haven’t been to the gym in almost 3 weeks now and I’m chomping at the bit (so much for my 200lb goal, for now anyway). I can still feel twinges of annoyance from my shoulders when I raise my arms into certain positions over my head that involves pulling or pushing. With Apple guy here I doubt I’d have a decent gym schedule anyway so the timing is pretty good I guess.

The other upside is I’ll miss the influx of noob’s getting their NY’s resolution on. [1]for all of a month before they burn out  Whateva. I wish you mofo’s luck. If you want some advice, don’t overdo it, slow and steady is the key. And for the love of crackers, don’t hog the frackin’ benches while you’re talking on your phone. If you do, I can’t be held responsible for the trip to the ER to have said device removed from a random orifice on your body.

References

References
↑1 for all of a month before they burn out

NY

My biggest worry for the new year so far is on how to refer to it. Will it be Two Thousand Ten, Two Thousand And Ten or just Twenty Ten? I think I like the last one best. Its easier and rolls off the tongue better. So from this day forward 2010 shall be referred to as twenty ten. There, I have spoken! lol

*

I am so not excited about NYE. I had to work until 2:00am. [1]originally 3:00am but I got lucky and was relieved an hour early  NYE is our busiest (and worst) day of the year. Ugh. Overall, it wasn’t too bad this year. The cold messes, the hot messes, and the just plain messes were out in force but the overall violent crimes were down. I was on fire side most of the night which meant managing the medical fleet. I feel good knowing I did an excellent job with the resources available.

*

Apple guy is still here (yay!)  Sadly, I didn’t get to ring in the NY with him because I had to work. I did manage to send him a text at the midnight hour. I literally got the text out when the shit really hit the fan, so to speak. He went out with some friends so at least one of us had some fun. I was bummed that we had to spend it apart but there is always next year I guess.

*

I haven’t really worked on my resolutions for the new year yet. The wine is kicking in and my brain is kinda fuzzy at the moment.

References

References
↑1 originally 3:00am but I got lucky and was relieved an hour early

Snooze

Nothing to see here. Just random shite to give everyone an update. I’m waiting for the ambien to kick in so by the end things start sounding weird [1]well, weirder than normal. you’ll know why.

First, my ongoing battle against that dastardly foe insomnia continues. I was up until 3:30am last night and promptly woke up at 8 freaking AM this morning. The night before I got about 6 hours so I’d call that a draw. I called off sick to work today. I felt too on edge and irritable and answering life/death calls in that mindset just wasn’t overly appealing. The social network crowd has been following my random spur of the moments much more closely [2]oh I’m sure they are just hanging on my every word…don’t judge me. so many of them will understand this. For you not so hip readers, I went to the doc last week and he wasn’t much help. The issue relates to a little genetic disorder that affects my hypothalamus. I’ve had it since birth. I don’t talk about it much as its more of an annoyance. This year it has become a challenge. I’m apparently not producing several key chains of enzymes that deal with the body shutting down to sleep. Ambien is very hit and miss but more often than not it will do the trick. The bad is while it is not physically addicting, it increases the difficulty of sleeping after you go off of it. Brilliant right? My other option is narcotic based drugs but that is an absolute bust for me. No matter how much I take, any amount that will put me to sleep will also leave me in a funk for hours after I wake up the next day. This not overly conducive if you ride a motorcycle. Well, if you want to stay up-right on the motorcycle that is. I know, I know, shut a nit-picker. Whatever…

*

Everyone is chomping at the bit for more news about the Apple guy. Well, I don’t have much to add. We still talk, we still like each other, and we still live 2000 miles apart. lol Things are pretty much in a holding pattern until he moves here in late January. He has been super duper preoccupied lately but still finds time to talk to me, which I like. The one thing I will say is we both seem to be approaching this from the same mind-set. And by that I just mean, neither he or I is looking to get into a LTR just so we can be in an LTR.  Ugh, that is so 90’s. Anyway, it just is. We aren’t pressuring it or trying to make it anything other than it is. It might sound weird but that’s oddly comforting to me. He is coming up for Christmas so I got it off so we could have a long weekend together. I’m looking forward to it.

*

The bike shop where I take my beast called me out of the blue today and they got the remaining parts for my bike in. Even better, they surprised me. I scratched up the crank cover pretty severe the last time I low-sided the bike. The shop ordered me a new more stylish one with a slider built over it to prevent future gashes in the event I slide the bike again. Well, they didn’t tell me the slide plate was solid blue like my bike. Of course I was ecstatic! They know blue is my signature color and know me well enough to know I would have totally jumped on it had I known. Yeah, it was 50 bucks extra but so what. I “gottsta” look good damn it! LOL  Anyhoo, they popped all the new parts on today and the bike is good as new.

*

Its effin’ cold here right now. And I do mean cold. It got down to 34 last night and tonight its a balmy 41 degrees out. That’s pretty cold for SF. It almost never gets below the high 40’s/low 50’s. Of course, being a windy ocean-side city makes it even worse. We actually got tiny hail for 5 whole minutes earlier this week. Seriously, it hailed/snowed for like 5 minutes in SF. [3]Global warming is a total myth right? lol 

*

Work is work. I did rotate back to PD side about a month ago.  I’ve been on fire side for a 18 months and I decided it was time to rotate back. I gotta admit, while it is way busier, I missed it. We started our shift sign-up last week. There is a very real chance I’ll get bumped back onto a 4-10 shift. I’m hoping not but it is beyond my control so I’ll deal with it. I’m pretty sure of getting some sort of weekend slot regardless but I’d love to stay on 5′-8s. I’ll know in about a week. I’ve reached a point where my seniority isn’t changing much. For years, I jumped 10-15 slots every sign-up. I’ve been in the mid 50’s for about 3 years now. I’m not complaining as I can pull the shift I want and can usually pull the days off I want. Truth be told, I’m just grateful to have a job. Things are still very rough on the City’s budget crisis. They are still threatening to layoff staff (that we don’t have) and/or just reduce our ability to backfill overtime. That means if someone goes on vacation or calls in sick, they department can’t call people in on overtime to meet minimum numbers. That means when you call 911 you sit in queue longer. I’m disgusted at the possibilities but its out of my hands so I’m hoping for reason.

*

I think the ambien is actually taking hold so time to shut my pie-hole. That or I have gas, either way its time to go.

References

References
↑1 well, weirder than normal.
↑2 oh I’m sure they are just hanging on my every word…don’t judge me.
↑3 Global warming is a total myth right? lol

Blues

Summer is over and the cool weather is definitely setting in here in SF. While it rarely gets cold cold here, I did have to turn on the heater for the first time this past weekend. brrr! This coming weekend looks to be chilly as well.

Sadly, that also means less moto rides. I did get a ride in this past weekend even though it was chilly. I don’t like riding in the cold, but since I haven’t had much time lately I wanted to get a ride in. It was fun, as always. I’m sure we will get a few warm weekends sprinkled throughout the winter season. That said, I’m already missing the weekly rides.

In less depressing news, Apple guy got his bike this week. He made out like a bandit and scored a really nice bike off ebay for a steal! As luck would have it, its a GSXR like mine (but a 600 mind you :p). Its a sweet looking bike and he is already planning a slew of tweaks and customizations for it. I thought I was bad, he has me beat hands down. Lol. Of course, I have picked up some nice ideas from him. I think his creative streak is much larger than mine. [1]That or I’m just lazy. Anyway, he picks it up this week. I think I’m more excited than he is.  lol

References

References
↑1 That or I’m just lazy.

Photo Op

Thank you to everyone for the kind words on the pic. I do clean up nicely, if I don’t say so myself. *g*

On a side note, the suit pictured in the last post was so tight if I had thrown my arms up in the air I’d have ripped out the armpits. I’m not joking, that bad boy was tight! Apparently, yours truly has developed some girth in his upper body since moving SF. [1]Ironically, the pants fit just fine.

Don’t even get me started on taking the jacket on and off either. I kept it on thru most of the ceremony as I was afraid of looking like a dork trying to get it back on. Of course, there was a meal along with the reception. I finally had to break down and take it off as I was afraid I’d be popping buttons in my plate.

Seriously though, I’m a little irritated as I’ll have to replace the damn thing at some point. Which sucks because I kept the newest suit out of the bunch when I gave all my other ones away. [2]I used to have to wear suits in my old job back home in TX. I’m tempted not to even bother. It might just be cheaper and easier to rent one for the next snazzy event.

What about you? Buy or rent?

References

References
↑1 Ironically, the pants fit just fine.
↑2 I used to have to wear suits in my old job back home in TX.

Here

Still here. Just busy busy busy. In a nutshell I’m:

  • disgusted/sad over greedy corps masquerading as “grass roots” efforts and spreading outright lies and fear regarding healthcare reform.
  • happy over last week’s moto-ride. One of the best yet.
  • adjusting to me new (old) schedule well.
  • working on a couple projects that are consuming a lot of my free time.
  • having hot sex with random hot menz.

There probably won’t be a WWMD this month as I haven’t gotten around to fleshing one out so-to-speak. No worries, I’ll get to it on the next go-round.

The new roomie is working out exceedingly well so far. We rarely see each other because of opposite schedules. Last weekend, he took it upon himself to do a very nasty chore, steam cleaning th e common areas. I was so surprised (happily so) to come home from my moto-ride and discover he’d done it for me. What a trooper! The old roomie is doing ok too.

The new rims for the bike are on back-order and won’t be here until September. I’m sad but can’t help it.

The boy is doing well. I miss him at times but we still talk daily.

Ok, that is about it for now. More later when I have some more time.

Oh, here. Enjoy a ‘purdy picture!

 

Uptick

In news of the probably not-so-exciting category, I’ve noticed a huge jump in scam related spammy email lately. My email filter does a pretty darn good job of filtering out the crap but I do often quickly scan thru it to catch any false-positives. So anyway, you probably remember the old Nigerian money scam and its many 100’s of variants. Usually written in poor English about someone somewhere in the world trying to access or “free up” millions of dollars from a deceased/deposed person of some sort and “if only you would help” you could have a small percentage (in the millions) for your time and effort.

What this tells me is that people are once again falling for crap like this. It could also just be unscrupulous souls trying to take advantage of the poor economy and people who are desperate for cash. While I’m sure the latter is part of it, these folks focus on scams that work. I get about 10-20 a day now which is a huge spike. Used to, I’d see one every week or so. To see this many all at once is scary to think about.

If you’ve been living under a rock somewhere just try to remember “if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is”. In other words, don’t be an idiot.  Of course, I prefer my granny’s version, “believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.”