Category: random thoughts

Hangups

We all have them, myself included. That said, I get really tickled at some of my friends hangups at times. My group of friends tends to be very diverse. So it shouldn’t really surprise me their hangups are just as diverse.

I have one friend, who after spending most of his life in service to the military, will be getting out soon. He has developed a laundry lists of do’s and don’ts on the type of guys he can date. If he has sex on the first date, that automatically means he can’t date them. If he meets a guy on a hookup site, he won’t date them. His rule structures are often complex and contradictory. He loves me because I constantly bust his chops over it.

I have another friend who won’t date someone unless they’ve had sex. He insists on it before he’ll even consider dating a guy. He wants to know all your fetishes, desires, etc.

Yet another friend won’t even consider sex w/a guy till the 4th or 5th date.

Another who is in an open LTR but they never discuss it. It is very much like ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’ sort of scenario. lol

These are just a few examples of many I could give. Honestly, to me it seems exhausting trying to sort thru people’s ‘rules’  and ‘requirements.’ This is very true of the online sites as well. Profiles have become a laundry list of must haves, must not haves, must be, must not be, blah blah blah. I care less where or how we met and more about who you are as a person.

I guess I’m odd because I try not to place a bunch of restrictions on guys. [1]But I will admit the few restrictions I do have can be very limiting. My whole no-drugs policy sadly kills a huge percentage of eligible guys for me. I don’t provide a laundry list of requirements. I don’t expect you to know what I want or even to know what my expectations are. I will however, tell you what I want, expect, like, etc.

Sex always seems to be a big issue for gay guys. Be it the one extreme of ‘no sex till we’re in love‘ or the other, ‘sex, sex, sex, and more sex, please.‘ I like to think I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m not prudish but I’m not a sex fiend [2]well at least I think I’m not either. I do like sex and it’s important but I don’t start insisting you see things my way about it. I’ve dated guys who wanted monogamy, I’ve dated guys who avoid monogamy. Again, I like to think I’m in the middle I don’t want total monogamy but I also don’t want a free for all. To me, it is a very playful act and I often approach it from that perspective. As a partner, I’d like to know we can be honest with each other about our wants/desires and share our experiences with each other. We share everything else, why not share sexual adventures?

One of my hangups is I think I’m too honest. You don’t have to ask anyone about my dirt. I will straight up tell you. There is no shame in my game and I have no problem admitting things. I also am inclined to trust what people tell me too much. I don’t try to examine it from every possible angle to see if there are any hidden meanings. If you tell me a thing, I’ll believe it until proven otherwise. Sexually, I’ve become much less “flexible” in my positions. I doubt this creates any limitations but I can see it as a hangup.

I approach every meeting with as few expectations as possible beyond you being honest in the representation of yourself. (And you’d be surprised how many fail at just that!) Otherwise, it’s a clean slate. I don’t bend my ideals, philosophies, choices, etc to match yours. I like being me and all that comes with that. If we are truly a good fit, our similarities will merge well and/or our differences will compliment each other. I like to think this gives me an edge. Considering I’m single, one might argue against that. lol But that is ok. My being is a choice not a requirement. And if we do click, I’ll expose my cock and my soul to you, but not necessarily in that order.

References

References
↑1 But I will admit the few restrictions I do have can be very limiting. My whole no-drugs policy sadly kills a huge percentage of eligible guys for me.
↑2 well at least I think I’m not

Replace

Stepping away from the very serious previous post, I’m ranting on something much less intense today.

I was chatting with a coworker the other day and we got to talking about being irreplaceable in a work environment. I learned the fallacy of being truly irreplaceable many many years ago. In a previous job, I literally was the only person who could do my job. If I wasn’t there and the shit hit the fan, I got the call to come fix it. It made vacations, time off, sick days, etc very rough. At the time, I didn’t have a realistic view of my skill sets. I didn’t have much education and considered myself unskilled. I didn’t realize the potential and talent of my raw skills. I worried I’d be replaced by someone smarter. It wasn’t until I started realizing how good I was at certain things that I began to question my need to be irreplaceable.

When I started said job, I ended up throwing out the tracking system of the person I was replacing. Said person was also training me. It just seemed overly tedious and not very effective. Without realizing it, my way turned a full time job into a 2-3 day a week part time gig. And while I didn’t go part time, it gave me time to continue learning and growing with the company. As I grew with the company many of my inherent skills lying dormant got used and developed, organizing being one of them. I never really considered myself a very organized person. Growing up the way I did, why would I? lol  But, I apparently had the knack for it. And when presented with a need to manage a lot of different data, resources, and systems I got jolted into using it. Things that came a bit naturally to me (or thru a modicum of self-educating) seem to be beyond others. I was honestly surprised that my simple organization skills seemed so advance to many of my coworkers then. Even looking back on it know I giggle. It began to teach me I wasn’t as unskilled or replaceable as I thought.

When I left the company I managed a whole dept and everyone of my employees knew what I knew. I never once felt threatened by their knowledge or skills. If one of them had been promoted beyond me I would have been ok with it as well. Learning about myself empowered me to hope for that in my fellow workers. While it happened much less than I would have liked, I enjoyed seeing someone develop better work skills. Ironically, when I left they actually split my job into two. Even with the knowledge, my underlings couldn’t seem to pull it off. I think because it took more than just raw skill. I had a good work ethic and I cared about my job and its affect. I did my job and I did it well. I also was fortunate enough to be blessed with being a quick study, especially when I enjoy a subject or skill. I’ve become a bit complacent in that area these days as my life is much more settled. Being on this new project has shown me it’s still there though. I’m already 10 steps ahead of the rest of the group. And that is not a brag at all. They are all intelligent folks. [1]On a side rant, Apple guy excelled at being a quick study as well. He was that much further ahead of me at it. It was one of the qualities I always liked in him. On the flip side, it does sometimes cause a little friction. There have already been a few awkward episodes when one or both of the project managers would suddenly come to understand something I’d been saying for days or weeks. The fact I don’t gloat or have attitude about it makes it very easy to get past though.

Back to the point, IMO being irreplaceable is not job security, it is job dependence. Hording knowledge often alienates coworkers, especially if they can tell what you’re doing. And let’s face it, they often can. There is more to securing your place than trying to make yourself the only person who can accomplish a skill or job.

References

References
↑1 On a side rant, Apple guy excelled at being a quick study as well. He was that much further ahead of me at it. It was one of the qualities I always liked in him.

Lounge

Today was a good day. I woke up early again but I still slept in. Cooper didn’t budge till I get up so he must enjoy sleeping in too. We had breakfast, did a few small chores and then headed off to the park for a couple hours in the sun. Afterwards, we spent the rest of the day being lazy and enjoying the weather. Well, he spent the day being lazy. I got out some more for the sun and then settled down for some much missed video gaming.

I can’t express what I relief it was not to be stressed about having to clean the apt. The whole apt feels and smells clean. I’m happy I broke down and hired a cleaning crew. It may not be a necessity but is most definitely is a priority for me. I’d rather spend the money and know it will get done like clock work than stress over doing it or procrastinating it to death. I’ve already made some adjustments in my spending to off-set some of the cost. And while not as inexpensive as my previous crew way back when, still affordable for me. The roomie is contributing as well so it totally deadens the expense.

Anyway, I giggled when I realized I didn’t have to give up part of my weekend now. It hadn’t yet dawned me that I’d have the free time. I tend to procrastinate over chores and they tend to pile up. Then I get irritated and spend a whole day (or weekend) catching up. It was nice realizing this morning I didn’t have to do either.

Tomorrow I think I’ll try to go for a short ride on the bike. I can’t go too far as I still haven’t gotten my replacement fairings yet. But a short ride around the city, to the beach, or just over the bridge sounds perfect!

Hope you all are having a good weekend!

Tidbits

Nothing earth shattering today, just some random tidbits.

I was sick with a horrible stomach bug for over a week. I’m still having a few random issues but the G-forces have calmed to a more normal situation. Oddly, it started lower and worked it’s way INTO my stomach. lol Or at least, that is how it felt. On a side note, I can always tell when I’m feeling better from being sick because my sex drive bounces back. lol When I’m sick is pretty much the only time it disappears. Read into that whatever you like.

Cooper is still using his Jedi mind tricks on me to keep me from going to work. I’ve been immune so far but I think I’m weakening. I hate leaving him at home. He does just fine but I’d rather he were with me. He is still the belle of the ball anytime we go anywhere. lol He loves the attention. We ran into another Bully his age and size the other day and they got along so well. The other bully was a tad younger and was so eager to play. Oh and speaking of, Apple guy rescued a bully in Austin so Cooper has a step-brother now. His name is Deegan and just adorable. In other news, Cooper, while not at all aggressive, has a habit of insisting on being center of attention when other dogs are around. I wonder if it is because of his days in the shelter. It’s almost if he is suddenly afraid of being looked over. I could just be over-analyzing it as well.

I’ve been neglecting my beast and finally took him in for some TLC last weekend. The chain was so loose it could have popped off on it’s own. I didn’t ride much at all last season. I have a few more things to do to my monster to get him ready for the upcoming riding season. I miss riding a lot. Until I get a couple things done on the bike though, I’ve been sticking close to home. It all boils down to finances.

Speaking of, I’ve been doing a little overtime at work the last few weeks. It’s hit and miss and usually only 4 hours at a time but every little bit helps. Having an extra paycheck this month didn’t hurt none either. I’m about to file taxes for the year and am not looking forward to it. Not realizing it was superbowl weekend, I signed up for OT on Sunday. I could back out of it but I wouldn’t feel right. I take my responsibilities seriously. I’m sure it’s going to be a royal pain, whether we win or not.

I’ve been very good about hitting the gym and my routine consistently. Even with the stomach bug, I made it several days that week. I’m gonna mix up the days off though as I’m finding that the heavy weights, even on different muscles, are zapping my endurance by day 4 and 5. I probably should have mixed in an off-day from the beginning but it is a work in progress. Speaking of, a coworker who works days ran into me the other day and said, “you are getting massive.”  While not massive, I was still very tickled and have no problem admitting I giggled like a little school girl w/delight. Totally made my day!

42

Yes, you guessed it, yours truly is 42 years old today. I’m finally 42, the meaning of life, everything. [1]Bonus points if you get that. lol

I don’t have a whole lot to rant about on it. I’m 42. Ok, next? It’s no secret I don’t make a big production over my birthdays. It’s just a marker on a day just like pretty much every other day. I’ve always been ok with aging. I like who I am and being in my ‘daddy’ phase suits me nicely. hehehe

Of course, my number chart says this is supposed to be a good year for me. Lord, I sure hope so. I need a good year.

I tend to procrastinate a lot about stuff I need to get done so I’m working on doing less of that this year. I’ve got lots planned for this year too. Besides, the teethes, I wanna finish pulling myself out of the financial mess I’m. That ball is already rolling. I’m gonna try to swing a cruise with two of my besties as well. I haven’t been on a real vacation in years and am way overdo. I need to get away from it all and just enjoy myself. Said cruise depends on the finances being in better shape of course. It isn’t till November so I have some time. And knowing I need to make a deadline will help keep me motivated, hopefully.

I’m also refocusing on taking better care of myself as a whole. The gym of course is a big part of that as well. I never had the habit of pampering myself growing up so it was something I had to teach myself as an adutl. I was just getting into it prior to the last LTR and I miss it. I haven’t done a whole lot just for me in such a long time, it feels almost selfish at times now. Being broke will do that to ya. lol

The biggest change is I wake up happy again. I’ve always prided myself on how I wake up every day basically happy and in good spirits. That went away for awhile and I missed it. I’ve noticed a revival and I can’t tell you how much I missed it. I feel like a spark has come back that went dim. Of course, having a 65lb bulldog that loves and depends on me doesn’t hurt none either. I’m never sure who gets the most joy out of us being together. He never fails to make me feel loved.

That’s about it. I’m looking forward to my 42nd year. I hope it’s a good one and I continue to grow and learn about myself.

🙂

References

References
↑1 Bonus points if you get that. lol

Pics

Someone on FB asked me the other day why I don’t post many pics anymore. Well, I said some time ago I was pulling further away from FB. And while I haven’t made the break completely, I just don’t feel the need to give them my data to harvest. And with the recent Instagram purchase scandal, that decision was reaffirmed. I do still post random pics but mostly of Cooper and/or pics shared by others of me already on FB. Ninety percent of my activities there are commenting on friends stuff, my blog updates, news stories I comment on, and Foursquare updates. As FB pushes more and more to share all our data, I am sharing less and less. I’ve already begun going thru and unliking pretty much every page or commercial site I ever “liked.” The bombardment of ads increases more and more every month it seems.

So if you really wanna see more pics of me you’re gonna have to jump over to Google+ from time to time. I moved all my pic storage to picasa before Goolge+ came out but now that it is all nicely integrated, I like it even more. I get tons and tons of free storage and the extra storage is a fraction of the cost that sites like flickr charge. There is no way I can post all the pics I take to my blog w/o overloading my subscribers email boxes. lol I am working on a photo album link to pop up on the blog sidebar though. (If you want to add me on Google+, click the sidebar link to my profile there.) [1]Keep in mind, I do not add profiles w/porn or nudity. I have no problem with either but it is not the purpose of my social profile.

On a slight tangent, I’ve noticed several friends and blog buddies pulling away from FB as well. Some have deactivated their accounts all together while most have just logged out for extended periods of time. I discovered this week even my roomie has ditched FB for awhile. I guess I’m not the only one tired of the data harvest that is FB these days. That is pretty much all it is now. They’re saving grace is user volume. But like myspace, they might wake up one day and find themselves irrelevant. More and more of my friend list is making the jump to Google+.  Maybe one day I’ll be able to ditch FB completely.

References

References
↑1 Keep in mind, I do not add profiles w/porn or nudity. I have no problem with either but it is not the purpose of my social profile.

Profile

I was cleaning some really old files off my webserver the other day and I stumbled upon an edit file of old profile info I used to post on AOL. [1]That’s America Online for all you youngin’s out there.   I had a habit of saving my profile descriptions. I’d often just copy/paste the same profile info as necessary across different sites. Anyway, I was a little disappointed after perusing some of the content. I had forgotten some of the disrespectful things I used to put in my profiles. Granted, I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful but that really isn’t the point. Intentional or not, referring to a whole race of people as being off-limits is offensive. The same goes for “not fats, no fems, etc.”

While I did eventually see the error of my ways, I’m sad to say many have not. You only need peruse pretty much any online social site to see guys posting the same type of comments. And don’t even get me started on the over-use of ‘masculine-only.‘ That is a rant all to itself. We’ll save it for a rainy day.

Anyway, whether you intend it or not, it is offensive to put such things in a profile. I’ve probably ranted on this subject before but it bears repeating. Instead of telling the world what you’re not into, focus on what you are into and keep it positive. Leave out the negative comments as it only serves to make you look like an ass. And it often makes you less appealing to prospective suitors. After all, the old saying goes ‘you catch more flies with honey...’

*

After I wrote this I found the original post on the subject. How funny I gave it the same title. I guess my mind still thinks the same way.

References

References
↑1 That’s America Online for all you youngin’s out there.

Year 9

I survived NYE at work. Lord what a mess. Thankfully, I didn’t get mandatoried this year. I hedged my bets a bit by already having worked some OT but as luck would have it, I was far enough up the food chain to avoid it. The crazy started early, died off for a bit and then was getting heavy again by the time I left.

Well, here we are at year 9 of le blog. Man, what a ride. lol I already touched on my goals for the new year so no need to rehash it. The gym is already crazy with the influx of newbies. Everyone is making resolutions and plans for the new year. On some level I appreciate the fact that every NYE seems to bring a since of renewal and new beginnings. On the other hand, why does it have to be that way? Why can’t we focus on the things we don’t want or like in our lives and work to improve them anytime? The world may never know. lol

Anyway, I admit to getting the “new” bug. I’m looking forward to the new year. I’m super motivated in the gym again. I’m still working on digging myself out of the financial hole I’m in and and all around optimistic. Cooper is doing well and will continue to be the superstar that he is. As always, he brings me so much joy, it simply beyond words to explain. Work is work, nothing new there. Oh I didn’t get selected for the sup’s position. I’m oddly not disappointed. Considering I was so on the fence about it, I guess it’s a sign it wasn’t meant to be just yet.

In my personal life, things are calm. I’m not dating anyone but I did finally [1]after 9 years meet up with a long time crush. We actually met thru my blog. I’m not expecting anything other than a chance to get to know him. If something develops, great. If not, I’m sure we’ll still be friends.

The blog is, as ever, a work in progress. Who knows what I’ll come up with this year. Every time I think I’m done learning about myself a new life lesson comes along. Hopefully, that will continue. Lord knows I’ll keep blathering on. I’ve been receiving a lot of requests for more of the adult info. I’ll do what I can. It’s not that I don’t like sharing but it often seems so contrived when I talk about it as if I’m bragging. I’m not above bragging but that really isn’t why I share. In the meantime, you’ll have to be content with my regular ramblings and Jimbo and I picking on his royal bitchiness, brettcajun.

So, here’s to a prosperous and good year to you all!

References

References
↑1 after 9 years

Banned

I’m slipping this rant into the scheduled posts. Only because it was time-relevant. lol

I didn’t sleep well last night at all. I have no idea why but I kept waking  up like every hour on the hour. I must have worn Cooper out as well because he slept right up till I crawled out of bed at 10:30 today. Usually, he is up and fidgeting and moving around the bedroom out of boredom. lol I called off to work today. I’m a bit cranky and feeling tired. After I’ve had some food in me, I’m gonna try to take a nice nap.

In other news, the proposed ban on public nudity here is scheduled to be voted on today. I’m at Cove cafe right now and several tables are discussing it. Every table had pretty much the same theme, “why do they have to force it on everyone?” Ironic, considering it was mostly locals doing the complaining. As mentioned, the issue really isn’t about nudity anymore IMO. Instead, it’s about people being forced to endure behavior they don’t like. That is the real crutch of the issue. SF has coexisted peacefully with the real nudists here for decades. Oh they get a few random complaints but nothing major. It’s known and even expected at some of the parks, beaches, bars, and various events here. It is tolerated well for the simple reason people who didn’t want to see it could avoid it. It wasn’t forced on you. With the exhibitionists setting up shop in the plaza smack dab in the middle of the neighborhood, people no longer felt it could be avoided. And that is when the complaints started rolling in, in earnest.

The issue has been conflated and twisted so much by both sides it borders on the ridiculous. Not to mention, something so silly  & foolish has divided the community in many aspects. Not that I’m surprised, good or bad, SF always tends to be controversial. And it won’t be over today unfortunately. I read the ban is being challenged in court as a violation of freedom of speech. I say good luck with that. You’d have to prove some sort of harm for it to pass muster. And considering it only covers public spaces, I find it a stretch to claim it somehow restricts people but whatev. I’ll be glad when it’s over so we can all move on to bigger more important issues.

ARK

Stands for Act of Random Kindness. [1]Totally stolen from Evan Almighty, the movie

cookiesI recently helped a friends sister with tips on how to get a job as a dispatcher. She happens to be in a different state but they utilize some of the same testing services we use here. I originally thought she was applying locally but whatever. lol  I gave her my best advice on what I know based on how we hire. Basically, be yourself, answer honestly not what you think they want to hear, be polite, and dress appropriately. Not that hard but you’d be surprised how many folks miss the last two.

She got the job and sent me this lovely container of homemade cookies and cakes! I was really surprised she went to so much effort but it was very sweet, literally. lol I’m sure it wasn’t cheap to the mail them and I was truly touched. Of course, I’m already half-way thru the whole container. lol I set some out for the ginger [2]my new/old roommate but he hasn’t been around much this week. I’m sure once he sees them he’ll help me polish’em off.

It just goes to show, sometimes the smallest thing can mean something huge to someone else. It took me all of 5-10 mins to share my views on the subject. IMHO we should all strive to help others and do good in the world. If we did, I honestly think the world would be in much better shape today. I know from my perspective it has paid off time and time again. Karma if you will or just plain good will being returned to you.

Just a thought…

References

References
↑1 Totally stolen from Evan Almighty, the movie
↑2 my new/old roommate