Category: me

Confuscious Say….

…man you fart in church have his one p(h)ew. *g*

Ok, so I’m plodding away thru the php code and slowly grasping the dynamics of it. My new design is going to require some heavy rewrites of the code so it probably won’t be up this week. I’m sticking w/the default design until I switch over. So far, I’m of the mindset PHP is OVERLY complex however, I’m still a newbie at it. I realize it offers some great modularity however, it seems the same could be accomplished w/xhtml and my mysql. Don’t quote me.

I am feeling better today finally. I think I’m finally on the mend. I don’t plan on doing anything this weekend to jepordize that either.

Update III

Ok, well I’ve got everything working so far. I am completely unfamiliar w/php workings so it is gonna take me a few days to get the site back up to its old functionality. The links section is back along w/the the blog history. Since I’m working w/o my old template the site will stay in the default form until I get the hang of things.

After Brat’s rant yesterday about his blog taking on a new direction, I figured I’d one up him and share the plans for my own changes ahead. Most of you know I’m in process of folding my blog into my domain, www.mobius.name. What you don’t know is I plan to make it a starting point for all my online activities. The changes will start out slow but eventually everything I do online will have some reference or connection to my site. All my bookmarks, my contacts, blog links etc will be included. While all of this won’t necessarily be available to view, you won’t be able to visit the site w/o coming away w/some idea of what it is to be me.

My blog will actually split into two separate sections. I’ll continue the main part which will be my ongoing rants/raves as usual. The new blog will be more of a mundane journal of my day to day activities, thoughts, etc. I love blogging but I miss being able to document my private thoughts. The parts of me that only share w/myself. I’ve written private journals on and off for years and have always derived powerful insights into myself when going back and re-reading them later. If I can gain this much insight into myself, what if I was to share it for others to benefit from?

That said, I’m not sure if the world is ready to see the inside workings of my head. What if I alienate a close friend? What if I sound like a hypocrite? Take this post for example. This is a view of the ‘polished’ Moby. I’ve re-written it several times in an effort to get the “sound” of it right. Now imagine for a second, you are given the key to my private thoughts and being given full permission to read it.

This begs the question, would you even want to? Would you want to see me in my sometimes up, sometimes down, frail, raw, emotional, insecure, over secure self. No edits, no spell check, no grammatical rules…just the unedited raw moby in all his madness. A bit daunting, even for me.

Being a total techie, all of this falls inline w/my own ideals of becoming truly interactive w/the net. If I had my way, I’d be connected 24/7. I have all these ideas for sections on advice, tips, etc so I’m just bursting w/excitement.

So sit back, stay tuned, and enjoy the ride!

I’m Gonna Live

Well the good news, the doc says I’m gonna live. He thinks it might have migrated from just a viral flu to strep throat but no definite answers. However, he did tank me up w/lots of drugs. I’ve never been a big fan of drugs, over the counter or otherwise but, I’m to a point now where I’m just miserable. I start the day out feeling “great” and steadily decrease into “I hate you and want you to die” mode.

I know I shouldn’t complain. I’m rarely sick. However, when I am it is always seems to be a doozy.

Finally!

The server switch has been completed so now I’m just waiting for my domain(s) to be re-pointed to the new servers. blah blah blah.

What this means is my site will probably go down sometime during the day tomorrow. I’ll get it back up as soon as possible.

Blech Reloaded

I’m still feeling very icky. I thought I was doing better and then last night I had a low grade fever and super sore throat to go w/the coughing. Ugggh! I called the doc and they plan to squeeze me in tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, my voice hasn’t completely come back yet. I’m not going to work today either. Maybe giving the ole voice box a break will do the trick.

The domain is still in flux. Sometime between now and tomorrow it is supposed to be completed. Today would be perfect as I’m off and have time to kill. Daytime TV is sooo overrated. 😛

Double Ugh!

I’m pulling a 16 hour shift today. Two 4 hour sessions w/the first starting promptly at 7:00am and then my regular 8 hour shift. I am beat! The first to teach the incoming academy class and the second for my CPR recertification.

I didn’t really plan it that way. I signed up back when I still had Fridays off. It didn’t really hit me that I was working 16 full hours until I got to work this morning. Technically, I’m not allowed to work more than 12 but since I’m spanning several shifts, no one noticed. *g*

I’m still icky but not coughing quite as much today. I’m hoping I’m back on the mend. I’m sure my long hours today aren’t helping at all. I hate Hate HATE being sick. Can you say CRANKY!?

Ugh! / Ramlings

I’m miserable sick today. I probably shouldn’t have come in to work but I’m here now. I’m in fire training and they have a particularly snotty supervisor on the overlapping day shift. She got her fill of me today after she incorrectly gave me a brief nasal toned speech on an error she thought I committed. I think it surprised her as I am usually very polite and jovial. She’ll think twice before she uses that tone w/me next time though. [1]I say that now, I’m sure she’ll whine to one my sup’s who will have a “talk” w/me. . . whatever

I got a follow up from the clan today. The funeral went over well and no one made an ass of themselves. That was a total surprise. However, Aunt Holy-Roller did make the funeral after all. She was ganghawled by the whole family for her attitude and pissy remarks in the email to my brother. Apparently, word got out she was playing goody two shoes and they weren’t having it. I’m led to believe she burst into tears at the wake after the umpteenth family member gave her an ear full. Gave me a nice warm fuzzy feeling.

So, I’m left w/my sorrow and anger right now. I’m super cranky today but managing to hang in there.

A super huge THANK YOU to everyone who sent their thoughts, prayers, and kind words about my father. I am forever grateful for it. Being someone who has never had any close family ties I’m sincerely touched by the support of strangers and friends alike.

References

References
↑1 I say that now, I’m sure she’ll whine to one my sup’s who will have a “talk” w/me. . . whatever

Ok now, More About Me

I’ve done my topical bit for a while. Your welcome. Now back to me. . .

So I’ve been playing hookie from work. I just need a break w/the death of my father. Granted, I didn’t go back for the funeral but I still need some time damn it. (Shhh! don’t tell.)

Yesterday is sort of a blur. I got up very late, still feeling icky so no gym time again. Going on two weeks now and I hate it. So anyway, got up late, fed the pie hole, watched a movie fed the pie hole some more, and then played the 2nd installment of Jak and Daxter until midnight. That about sums it up. I don’t think I made one conscious decision the whole day.

Today, I thought since I was such a barnacle yesterday, I’d be a bit more productive. My drivers license expired back in January on my birthday. (There I go w/that little extra tidbit of info again) I decided to make the pilgrimage to the DMV and get it renewed. To my surprise there wasn’t much of a line. Shame on me for thinking I’d get out early. I was randomly picked to take a short written test to finish my renewal. @#$%! – *think soothing thoughts*

No problem, I can handle this. Thirty minutes later, I pass and am back in line awaiting my renewal. I’m the one person that doesn’t print out right. Course, this means the clerk has to write a hard copy renewal. And wouldn’t ya know it, he didn’t know how. Groan, bitch, whine, complain and 30 more minutes later I’m finally out of there, renewal in hand. Being a civil servant myself, I know how the bureaucracy can drain the life out of you so I can’t fault the poor souls stuck in that hell hole day in and day out.

So now, I’m back in Daddybucks [1]Starbucks in the Castro just hanging out. The end of a not so busy day and the only goal left is laundry before tomorrow. Wish me luck.

References

References
↑1 Starbucks in the Castro

Passing Thoughts

My father died in his sleep Saturday, February 26, 2005 at 2:45 am central time.

A long tumultuous chapter of my life has reached it’s end. How do I feel at this moment? I don’t know.

So many emotions are warring for control, I’m not sure the answer. Part of me is happy. Happy he is no longer suffering. Happy my brothers are no longer burdened night/day w/his constant care. Happy they are no longer forced to see his frail humanity passing before there eyes. What else? Pain, remorse, regret, loss?

How do I feel at this moment? I just don’t know.