Category: me

Ugh! / Ramlings

I’m miserable sick today. I probably shouldn’t have come in to work but I’m here now. I’m in fire training and they have a particularly snotty supervisor on the overlapping day shift. She got her fill of me today after she incorrectly gave me a brief nasal toned speech on an error she thought I committed. I think it surprised her as I am usually very polite and jovial. She’ll think twice before she uses that tone w/me next time though. [1]I say that now, I’m sure she’ll whine to one my sup’s who will have a “talk” w/me. . . whatever

I got a follow up from the clan today. The funeral went over well and no one made an ass of themselves. That was a total surprise. However, Aunt Holy-Roller did make the funeral after all. She was ganghawled by the whole family for her attitude and pissy remarks in the email to my brother. Apparently, word got out she was playing goody two shoes and they weren’t having it. I’m led to believe she burst into tears at the wake after the umpteenth family member gave her an ear full. Gave me a nice warm fuzzy feeling.

So, I’m left w/my sorrow and anger right now. I’m super cranky today but managing to hang in there.

A super huge THANK YOU to everyone who sent their thoughts, prayers, and kind words about my father. I am forever grateful for it. Being someone who has never had any close family ties I’m sincerely touched by the support of strangers and friends alike.

References

References
↑1 I say that now, I’m sure she’ll whine to one my sup’s who will have a “talk” w/me. . . whatever

Ok now, More About Me

I’ve done my topical bit for a while. Your welcome. Now back to me. . .

So I’ve been playing hookie from work. I just need a break w/the death of my father. Granted, I didn’t go back for the funeral but I still need some time damn it. (Shhh! don’t tell.)

Yesterday is sort of a blur. I got up very late, still feeling icky so no gym time again. Going on two weeks now and I hate it. So anyway, got up late, fed the pie hole, watched a movie fed the pie hole some more, and then played the 2nd installment of Jak and Daxter until midnight. That about sums it up. I don’t think I made one conscious decision the whole day.

Today, I thought since I was such a barnacle yesterday, I’d be a bit more productive. My drivers license expired back in January on my birthday. (There I go w/that little extra tidbit of info again) I decided to make the pilgrimage to the DMV and get it renewed. To my surprise there wasn’t much of a line. Shame on me for thinking I’d get out early. I was randomly picked to take a short written test to finish my renewal. @#$%! – *think soothing thoughts*

No problem, I can handle this. Thirty minutes later, I pass and am back in line awaiting my renewal. I’m the one person that doesn’t print out right. Course, this means the clerk has to write a hard copy renewal. And wouldn’t ya know it, he didn’t know how. Groan, bitch, whine, complain and 30 more minutes later I’m finally out of there, renewal in hand. Being a civil servant myself, I know how the bureaucracy can drain the life out of you so I can’t fault the poor souls stuck in that hell hole day in and day out.

So now, I’m back in Daddybucks [1]Starbucks in the Castro just hanging out. The end of a not so busy day and the only goal left is laundry before tomorrow. Wish me luck.

References

References
↑1 Starbucks in the Castro

Passing Thoughts

My father died in his sleep Saturday, February 26, 2005 at 2:45 am central time.

A long tumultuous chapter of my life has reached it’s end. How do I feel at this moment? I don’t know.

So many emotions are warring for control, I’m not sure the answer. Part of me is happy. Happy he is no longer suffering. Happy my brothers are no longer burdened night/day w/his constant care. Happy they are no longer forced to see his frail humanity passing before there eyes. What else? Pain, remorse, regret, loss?

How do I feel at this moment? I just don’t know.

BLECH!

So, the chest cold I’ve been trying to fight off has won. I am in the full throes of it today. Coughing up a lovely blechly looking goo. How’s that for an image?

I called the doc and he says its a viral thing going around so not much I can do but wait it out. He did recommend some over-the-counter stuff. The odd part is I’m not really coughing a lot. But when I do, it’s the horrible deep painful cough from deep within. Christ almighty! I detest being sick. I don’t have any fevers yet and otherwise I’m mobile.

I’m dragging my carcass down to the castro to have a big bowl of soup.

OH! and a big thank you to everyone for the kind comments and emails about my dad. I’ve worked thru most of my feelings w/him and I just hate knowing he is suffering. Without sounding morbid, I’m hoping he passes soon as no one should ever suffer like that.

Sad News

I just found out my father has slipped into a coma. They give him 48-72 hours. I’m gonna totally freak out if he passes away the tonight on the same day my mother passed.

A Moment In History

Today marks the death of my mother. She passed away from lung cancer Feb. 23rd, 1978.

While I no longer get worked up about it, I still try to remember her. She died when I was only 7 years old. I remember the year I turned 15 thinking how unfair it was that I’d been alive longer w/o her than w/her. I took it really hard that year. The only source of comfort was my first love who tried his best to ease my pain.

It’s funny, I seemed to suffer more that year than I had at her passing. I’m sure it is related to my becoming an adult but it hurt a lot.

So, today is in remembrance of you mom. If you’re still up there don’t judge me too harshly, I’m doing the best I can.

Blog This

I feeling crappy today. I had a sore throat last night and woke up several times last night coughing. I seem to be better today but my energy level has tanked. That said, I did manage to drag my lazy carcass to the gym. I haven’t been in over a week and OY! did it feel good to work out. Course, I’m sure that’s why my energy levels are low now. Probably should have waited one more day but I hate getting into that rut of thinking “oh, I’ll go tomorrow”.

Being in a bitchy mood brings me to today’s rant. I got an anonymous email a while back that I had forgotten about until blogrolling today. The person gave me praise for my insights and then went on to criticize me for not blogging about things that were important to me. I’m like WTF? I do blog about the things important to me. When a story strikes my fancy or hits close to home, I’m sure to bring it into the fold but I don’t feel a responsibility to blog every scandal to death. There are plenty of other bloggers out there beating the blogosphere for me. I read some of the often.

I couldn’t care one wit about the hypocrite in the White House. I’ve known from the very beginning they were a lying bunch of skanks. This latest scandal comes as no real surprise to me. Further, I don’t feel the need to say “shame on you” to Mr. Gannan or Guckert or whatever the frell his name is.

Blogger Convention

Ok, its not a convention, I just couldn’t think of a catchier title. So, I met Bratt tonight. We setup plans for cocktails and dinner. *He snapped a picture so pics forthcoming* He brought his friend Karen, known on his blog as ‘The Republican’. I liked her immediately, her polical status not withstanding.

I’m writing this w/o peeking at his blog to see what he wrote about me. He brought his laptop so I know he’ll probably post something. My first impression of Brat was almost as expected. He is a bit taller though. I guess we always assume everyone is our own height. Otherwise, I found him to be a bright, kind, sensative, funny, and sweet fellow. There were no awkward silences over dinner and the conversation flowed easily between the three of us. A very good dinner I might add.

**btw Brat, as stated I’m not a heavy drinker. After getting home, I felt tuckered out and decided to skipp the evening festivities….did you feel like Kate ‘fucking’ Blanchette as expected?**

So score one for blog meetings this one was a success. We are supposed to get together for lunch tomorrow before he flies off to ChiTwon again. That is, if he gets up at a decent time. *giggle*