Category: me

Tired

I am so tuckered out. It is only Tuesday and I’m already dead tired. Between gym, work, union meetings, charities, and training I’m beat. I can’t wait for the weekend so I can do absolutely nothing!

Third floor Lingerie!

I keep having this reoccuring dream. Last night was the third time in a year. I always seem to be working in a high rise building and any time I take an elevator, the elevator seems to be hellishly out of control. Forgetting for a moment that I always seem to be a childish CEO in the dream, I’ve never been afraid of elevators. In my dream, I’m not even falling. It is more like the elevator is loosely attached to its cables and it goes sideways as well as up and down. I always end up ok in the dream but I find it odd that I’ve had the same dream several times now.

There was an earthquake last night. I wonder if that has something do with it. A small earthquake mind you. But not being from here, it always seems to wake me up. I can’t remember if there was one last time I had the dream. However, I’ll make note for next time. Maybe my subconscious is tying the effects of an earthquake to the shaking of an elevator, who knows.

Latte Covered Jeans

I bought a new bag for my laptop today. My old gap bag is beginning to wear thin and I wanted something w/padding. I wanted something big enough for my 17″ notebook but sleek enough to not look like I’m going hiking for a week. Well, not being able to find exactly what I wanted, I compromised. I ended up buying a soft cover for the laptop and buying a traditional backpack to put it in.

So then, I managed to knock over a guys coffee w/it. Most of his drink went down my pants leg however, a sizeable amount splattered all over his clipboard full of papers. God, I felt like such a klutz. I apologized profusely and bought him a new latte but I still felt just awful. He was very gracious about it but that doesn’t make me feel any better. I can be such an absent-minded Cletus at times.

e=mc�

I think I’m in burnout mode. I’ve been so busy this past week, I didn’t plan anything w/anyone this weekend. No friends, no Mostovic (he was busy anyway), no one. I had hoped to just hang out and socialize today but the weather changed and its all rainy & muggy. So much for that idea. My schedule next week is shaping up to be even worse. Not only do I have several labor meetings planned at work, I’ve taken on my next to last trainee in remedial for a week.

She was not doing so well at the end of her rotations. I pleaded her case and they’ve given her to me for one week. My goal is to raise her competency level enough to warrant continued remedial training. Otherwise, she gets the boot. It is sorta her own fault. She waited too long before complaining that she’d had problems w/her previous trainers. I think she was hoping to sit w/me on her own time but I had my own trainee to work with. So, in an effort to get her up to speed, I’ve agreed to give up an hour out of my own time every day before work and drill her on problem areas. No pressure right?

Hack This

Lately, I’ve become sort of a computer guru for my co-workers. A lot of the women I work with use computers to work all day long. That said, most of them have little if any real computer skills beyond typing. It has become common knowledge that I’m good w/’fixing’ computers so I’m developing quite the side job.

I feel almost guilty taking money as most of the problems are just viral, spyware, and poor software maintenance. Which in themselves are usually easy to remove w/a couple of good programs. (Not always but usually). And while it may be an easy thing to do it can be very time consuming. And lets face it, not many people are willing to spend the time it takes cleaning out an infested computer. Especially, when their computer skills aren’t that great to start off with. I was telling another buddy at work this and he said I should charge more. I probably should. I mean I am spending my own time fixing their screw ups.

I’ve always had an affinity for gadgets and computers. It just comes easy for me. I’ve thought about getting into the IT field but there are already so many out of work IT people here it is not funny. (flashback a few years ago, the dot com bubble burst and all of these flashy companies went bust) A few years have passed and a huge chunk of the unemployed geeks have left for greener, less flashy pastures. So now I’m thinking I might get back into it. Of ocurse, w/no actual official certification titles that is gonna be a hard row to hoe. Getting a job w/the city isn’t very likely. My current dept. is one of the few city departments still allowed to bring on new hires. I’d rather leave city employment anyway. The benefits are good but the bureaucractic headaches just aren’t worth it.

For now, I’m content w/my little side job. I get cold hard cash and practice.

Blog Problems

I just discovered my blog had some sort of error. I posted the previous post on Saturday. Somehow, it got changed to December 31st 1969. After several attempts to change it back w/no luck I just deleted it and reposted.

Him’s, Her’s and What’s its!

I just got off the phone w/Bobby. It reminded me of something I’ve been noticing lately. Before I get ahead of myself, I’ve known Bobby for almost 12 years now. We met when I was still in my early 20’s and still very much in the flux of discovering who I was as a gay male. Bobby actually moved to Cali several years before me. So now back to the topic. I’ve noticed that when Bobby and I talk or hang out, I unconsciously revert to what I refer to is ‘gurl talk’. Meaning I switch my him’s to her’s and my dude to missy. And not because Bobby is fem or nelly. If anything he is just the opposite. However, he does the same thing w/me.

I think I’m not being very clear. I’m referring to mental associations that we develop w/people throughout our lives. I use Bobby only because he his a longtime friend who lives here and we see each other often enough for me to take notice. In my early 20’s, I used my gayness as an escape from all the pains of my past (links from old blogger profile). You could say I came out w/a vengeance. I burst onto the gay scene and while I was not overly nelly by nature, I learned put on all the mannerisms of the stereotype like one would put on a shirt. It was like my battle armor in a sense. Well, after years of wearing it, it sorta begin to fit like skin. A few years later, it dawned on me I didn’t need to be the flaming queen of the universe to be gay. With the dawning of reason, I promptly dismantled this shell I’d built myself.

So these days, I find that anytime I interact w/friends that I met during that era of my life, I unconsciously fall back into my old mannerisms. And the habit only surfaces it w/old friends. I don’t really have the scientific answer but I just find it amusing how it works out.

The Slut Returns

I had an “online hookup” the other day. I’m sure you could care less it’s just that I so rarely do it anymore due to all the games, flakes, and lies you have to put up w/in the process. I’ll never understand why fags need to lie about themselves online. It’s not like I won’t discover the truth when they show up. Duh! It must work because most of’em keep right on doing it. I, on the other hand, have no problem slamming the door in their face. Anyway, I’m digressing.

I was feeling the ‘need’, logged onto Manhunt in the vain hope of finding someone I’d already done the deed with. No luck. Then, right before I log off, I got a message from a guy I’d played message tag w/a few times. I asked if he was free, he said yes, and showed up promptly 30 minutes later. For a change he was better looking than his pics. We had a good time and he was everything he said he was. See! It is just like ordering pizza but only tastier.

Back to reality, I guess I got lucky. So the ‘need’ is satiated for the moment, back to Tivo!

Lunch Blog

I just had lunch w/roblog.

The more I get to know Rob the more I like him. Handsome, kind, compassionate, hard-working, considerate… need I go on? Fuad is indeed a lucky man. (Fuad is is equally handsome husband). So we met at Chow and had a good lunch just gabbing and catching up. While there, Fuad actually came in w/his lunch buddy. (I gathered Chow was his favorite hangout)

Not much else to report at the moment. I’m off to work. Tonight is the finals for the BCC so I’m sure I’m headed to that afterwork w/Tim and Mostovic.