Category: me

Blog?

I’ve gotten several emails, comments, inquiries as of late regarding my lack of blogging.  Besides being extremely busy at work, the simplest answer is I just haven’t felt like it.  It seems to be a trend as I’ve noticed many of my regular reads have slacked off lately as well. 

For my part, I’ve always catered to the idea that blogging shouldn’t be forced.  Forcing it often leads to resentment which defeats the whole purpose, IMHO.  Never fear, I haven’t given up and this blog is NOT closing, not even close.  I still have tons to say and lord knows I have an opinion about everything.

On the flip side, I’ve met several new people thru my blog as of late.  Not 1, not 2 but 3 guys have come forward as regular readers who rarely comment but wanted to meet.  The first guy has apparently been reading for years and only just recently decided to see if I was up for meeting. [1]He lives locally  We had dinner and got to know each other a bit.  He got to see my tattoo the very same day I got it.  Anyway, dinner was nice and I enjoyed it.  The 2nd guy was totally looking to get laid. [2]I obliged him several times. *EG*  The 3rd was a bit odd.  I got the distinct impression he was testing to see if my blog was real.  His questions sounded more like accusations than interest.  He seemed to give up at one point after several “discrepancies” he pointed out were nothing more than perception.  I was secretly amused at his persistence and annoyance that he couldn’t trip me up.  He also discovered how blunt I can be when he asked questions I felt were inappropriate.  I doubt he’ll continue to read.

I’m always curious as to what inspires someone to come forward to meet after waiting so long.  I see myself as a very approachable and clearly I have no problem being open.  The irony here is I often get way more private emails than I do posted comments.  In talking with other blog buddies, I seem to the exception vs the rule in this arena.  I still haven’t figured it out but it doesn’t really matter.  I’m still flattered every time someone new “pops up”.  I don’t see my life as all that exciting to be honest.  But having grown up in the middle of nowhere TX, I can relate on the perceptual differences.  lolol 

References

References
↑1 He lives locally
↑2 I obliged him several times. *EG*

Emergency? What Emergency?

Monday night was probably one of the most stressful of my career. I’m basing that on the knots in my stomach and the bottle of wine I consumed after work. [1]Yes, you read it right, Mr. Light-weight downed a bottle. In a nutshell, a circuit panel blew out in our building and a full two-thirds of our system(s) went down in the blink of an eye.

As part of our ongoing reconfiguration, I am currently detailed to the Fire/EMS side of operations. At the direction of the RC, [2]the highest ranking medical officer on duty I quickly ran down the hallway and setup one of the few functional terminals. Within minutes, I had a summation of everything going out and coming in. Let me clarify that statement. Instead of being in charge of one channel focused on a section of the city, I’m now in charge of 5 channels encompassing the entire city! No pressure right? No, not at all. lolol Anyway, with the help of my co-workers and others I managed to bang thru it. I don’t think I did anything exceptional as frankly, it is my job but whatever. The work itself wasn’t overly taxing but I just couldn’t shake the awful feeling some calls might have fallen thru the cracks. There was no way to stop and check and I was too busy at the time to worry beyond the present. There was easily a 10 minute window between when the system went down and getting it back up. Meanwhile, call-takers are still trying to input calls into the terminals that did not go down. I know I bitch and moan at times about the crazy public but, I take my responsibilities very serious. It bothered me thru the whole ordeal and all thru the night afterwards.

The system came back up just in time for me to get off on time. [3]Ironic huh? I left relieved but I tossed and turned all night worrying some calls might have slipped thru the cracks. I personally felt like we failed the public that night. There is a silver lining here though. After polling all the terminals yesterday, we discovered there was in fact no lost calls. Everything got handled. A huge relief, I don’t mine telling you.

Yesterday, we were on a patchwork system which apparently went down again mid-day (prior to my shift). My shift went off without any problems. Parts are being flown in to create a permanent fix from what I’ve been told. There is also a redundancy system being added to hopefully avoid such a catastrophe in the future. I shudder to think what would have occurred had this happened on a busy night like New Year’s Eve. And I could go the rest of my career and not have to do that again and be completely happy.

References

References
↑1 Yes, you read it right, Mr. Light-weight downed a bottle.
↑2 the highest ranking medical officer on duty
↑3 Ironic huh?

Ink

Ink - Oh yes!

As you can see, I finally started the half sleeve on my arm.  I’m very happy with it so far.  This is just the outline mind you.  I go back in early January to start the shading and color.  It is still evolving in my mind so it may take me a few months to finish it completely.  You can’t see from the pics but it extends up onto my shoulder blade.  That wasn’t what I had originally planned but to get the scale right it had to. 

I’ve been gung-ho to get it started but the the biggest delay has also been with me.  I knew I wanted a DNA helix but I couldn’t come up with a design that matched my vision, looked good, and complemented my form.  I’ve seen a lot of tattoos that looked good but didn’t look good on the person.  Anyway, it was Luke’s idea [1]the tattoo artist for the multiple strands.  As soon as he mentioned it, I was sold on the idea!  We talked and he created several sketches for me to choose from (I was really impressed with how much prep work he did).  He also clearly got the look and the design were equally important to me.  He never once tried to sell me on “his version” or change my mind.  He listened to what I wanted and filled in the gaps.  I really appreciated that. 

Ink 2

Having finished the brainstorming, we got started on a stencil to show me how the final product would look.  The end pieces are strategically placed in case I decide to add on more later. [2]I doubt I will but still nice of him to think of that.  By the time he got the stencil on me, I almost wet my pants I was so happy.

To be honest, I didn’t think we’d actually get to the outline.  We spent an hour just modifying and updating the design.  But, as luck would have it, his appointment right after me called to cancel.  The outline took about 2 hours.  I have no problem admitting by the end of the 2 hours, I was more than ready for him to stop.  The outer arm part wasn’t bad but the inner bicep hurt like a bitch!  By the end, my pain tolerance had completely waned.  I’m grateful he did the inner arm part first. 

There was a moment about half way through where he totally flattered me w/o even knowing it.  We were just exchanging small talk and he mentioned he’d never done anything like my design before and thought it would look very original.  I’ve always wanted artwork that didn’t come off like I’d just picked it out of a book.  He also wants pics of the final product for his art book. 

Anyway, I’m extremely happy so far.  The outline by itself looks awesome!  It flows well with the muscle and covers most of my upper arm.  Having had a chance to get used to it, I do have a couple tweaks though.  I think the middle and lower strands need to be extended a bit to finish off the balance on my arm.  Then comes the color and shading.  The outer strips on each strand will get shaded to give’em a 3D look.  The inner chemical bonds will be opposing colors that fade together in the center of each one. [3]I’m still deciding on how the colors will look.  I’m also concerned about the open spaces between the strands.  Nothing definite there yet.  I wanna see the finished look before adding anything new.  Oh, and one more thing, my inner shoulder seems a little bare.  *giggle*  Again, we’ll see how the final image looks before adding more. 

I’m still excited, can ya tell?

References

References
↑1 the tattoo artist
↑2 I doubt I will but still nice of him to think of that.
↑3 I’m still deciding on how the colors will look.

Post Holiday “Something”

The great gobble gobble has come and gone.  I worked and it was pretty uneventful.  In my line of work holidays can be a mixed bag.  More people leads to more problems.  Also the depression that some experience over the holiday seasons can sometimes lead to unfortunate results.  We had a nice big feed and I ate more Turkey than I probably should.  heehee  I had some sweets but not too much.

The weekend is a bit of a blur.  Since the roomie is out of town and I had no prior obligations, I used the opportunity to be a bad boy. [1]Are you logged in? You should be!  I also ran into my old friend Tim W.  I hadn’t seem him in ages and we hung out and had dinner all the while catching up on the latest geekiness and gossip. 

Friday is a blur of sleep, xbox, and a few random errands. 

Saturday, I went to see Transporter 3. OY! Some very tasty flesh scenes with Jason Statham.  The movie is very typical of the series.  If you liked either of the first two, you’ll love this one.  There were only a couple of really “over-the-top” scenes but the martial arts fights are top notch, as usual. 

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In other news, I am once again signing up for my schedule for the next 6 months.  The bad news, I’m not going to get a full weekend slot on my current 5-8 shift. Even worse, I’ll end up being bumped off my current shift all together.  The upside (depending on how you look at it) is I’ll still end up with a weekend slot, just on a 4-10 shift.  I’ll either get Friday/Saturday/Sunday or Saturday/Sunday/Monday off.  There are certainly worse options however, if you’ve been reading for awhile, you know I’m not the least bit thrilled about going back to a 4-10 shift.  In a nutshell, it plays havoc with my gym schedule.  All things considered, I’m not really complaining as it could be a lot worse.

References

References
↑1 Are you logged in? You should be!

Ok, I Admit It…

…I haven’t been reading my blogroll.  I’m sorry, really I am.  I finally just cleared “clear all” in my RSS reader.  I know, I know, shame on me for letting my life get in the way of blogging.  In my defense, I have been rather busy.  I mean with the new bike, new xbox games, gym, sex, and work, who has time to blog? 

Anyway, the roomie is out of town for the holiday(s) till the first of the month.  I’d never admit it to him but I miss him already.  He is a good roomie and for all his drama, a good friend.  He is stopping off in Louisiana to see his ex-bf so I’m sure he’ll have all new tales of drama upon his return.

Speaking of the holidays, I gave most of my holiday fund to the NoOn8 and NoOnH8 campaigns.  However, I finally got the refund check for my old bike.  And in even better news, it was $500 more than I expected!  One might say it was karma…I’m just sayin’. [1]Does anyone else hate that phrase?  I know I should put it toward my credit cards but why pay now when I can pay later?  lol  Ok, I am putting some of it toward the cards.

Having already given away a lot, I’m not spending much on the holidays this year.  The last couple of years I’ve spent quite a bit.  I’ve already purchased most of the gifts for friends/family.  Other than Christmas cards, I’m about 70% done.  Oh, and if you want a card from me and I don’t have your addy, email me your info. 

My present to myself this year is a new tattoo(s).  I’m starting a half sleeve on my upper right arm.  I’ll also eventually be getting one on my inner left forearm.  Anyhoo, I’m finally going this weekend to start’em.  I’m so excited I’m giddy! lol  With the bike refund finally coming in, I’m all caught up from the accident.  I am still undecided between 2 different designs.  I’m gonna basically throw both of’em out there and see which one the artist improves on.  Both have a missing component I need help with.  If anyone has any tips or ideas on the actual process, feel free to chime in. 

References

References
↑1 Does anyone else hate that phrase?

Weekend “Stuff”

This past weekend was rather fun.  I went for a 150 mile ride two days in a row.  The first day I went solo and the 2nd day I rode with a friend from the sports bike group.  The 2nd day was the most fun as we drove down to Big Basin park.  The views were awesome and the windy roads even better!  There was a moment when we were taking a break where this very friendly guy came over to chat with us.  I first pegged him as gay…well until his wife sauntered over.  He was very friendly.  One might say too friendly for your average straight guy.  My friend and I both thought there might have been a ‘story’ there. lol  Anyway, the rides were awesome.  I’m loving the new bike more and more every day. I am kicking myself for waiting so long to upgrade.  As for the shoulder, it is healed up nicely.  I still have some numbness around the wound from nerve damage but it is better every week. 

Friday night I also had dinner with Adam & Brad.  I hadn’t seen them in ages and it was nice to catch up.  They seem very acclimated to life in the big city now. heehee  Brad is looking rather hot as he has been hitting the gym pretty hard.

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I finished Gears of War on the first 2 difficulty settings. The hardcore mode is proving rather difficult.  I can only imagine what “insane” mode is going to be like. lol  The online mode for this one is way ahead of the previous version.  I have to admit the game has consumed a lot of my free time as of late. 

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TFA was in town this past week as well.  We had an awesome time, as usual.  He gave me the nicest compliment w/o even realizing it.  While I was undressing (get your mind out of my gutter), he casually mentioned, “someone’s been working out“.  It was so unrehearsed and off-the-cuff I knew he meant it vs just trying to flatter me. hehehe  So…he got it extra hard just for that, twice! 

Ho-hum

I haven’t really been inspired to blog much lately.  Even my twittering has waned.  After getting yet another round of emails asking “are you ok?”  I figured I should at least post an update.

Nothing is really wrong, [1]well other than being a 2nd class citizen in the eyes of the law again. I’ve just been busy.  Work has been crazy.  My union duties are extremely busy right now.  The other day I had so much union related stuff going on, I only sat on channel for about 45mins the whole day.  I’m not complaining as I usually get results.  Plus, I am actively working to make my place of employment better. 

I’ve also been heavily involved in playing Gears of War 2.  I freaking love that game.  I beat the campaign level once already and am really enjoying the online play.  If you have an 360, you should try it even if you don’t normally go for FPS (first person shooter) games. 

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The Prop 8 scandal still smarts.  I will admit to being rather sad lately over the whole ordeal.  I’ve attended several rallies and sit-ins.  And while it feels good, I just feel like rallies don’t accomplish much after the fact.  Where were all these people when our rights got taken away?  I’ve also donated all I can at this point.  I’ve pushed my finances as far as I’m willing.  I’ve already forgone riding gear, my holiday overtime pay and money for personal holiday gifts this year.  I can’t afford to give anymore right now.  I know I sound pissy but I’ve done my part.  I’m certainly not giving up but we all have limits. 

I’m curious about the whole “amendment process”.  I’d love to start an amendment to ban divorce in California.  Or maybe we could ban marriage all-together.  Or how about we ban Mormons?  How very “christian” of you to force your beliefs on others. Don’t like the idea of marrying a gay person?  Well then don’t do it you ignorant hate-mongering fuckers!  That’s ok, you’ll get yours in the end.  I have no doubts in that. 

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I’ve been hitting the gym consistently.  I’m back up to a full routine.  Still haven’t hit my original limits but slow and steady.  I’ve been good at incorporating cardio into my routines and I’m getting used to it now. 

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I had a date last week.  It was a medic who was doing his Medic cert back when I was doing my EMT cert.  We used to run into each other at the hospitals and chatted often.  Anyway, long boring story short, it did not go well.  One, he was clearly husband shopping.  Two, he had some internalized homophobia.  Neither of which I am inclined to put up with.  The final straw was when he indicated the whole Prop 8 scandal had very little to do with him.

I think he was more disappointed than I was. heehee  His face fell several times in the course of our conversations.  It was clear he expected me to be of a similar mind-set since we worked in related fields.  I almost felt sorry for him.  Almost. 

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I’ve taken my daily journals private again as they aren’t very nice right now. 

References

References
↑1 well other than being a 2nd class citizen in the eyes of the law again.

Too Through

My happiness with our new President-elect is overshadowed today.  With Prop 8 expected to pass here in CA, Prop 102 in AZ and Prop 2 in Florida passing, I have lost all respect for so called “Christian” hate-mongers.  If you’ve been living under a rock, these 3 amendments write discrimination into their respective state constitutions. 

I’ve always tried to respect peoples religious beliefs however, there comes a point where your hate, fear, and ignorance cloaked in faith is no longer acceptable.  That time has come.  After this election, you’ve made it very clear you hate me and hope to forever label me as a 2nd class citizen.  Well I’m here to tell you, I am not going away no matter how hard you try.  Nor will I blithely stand by when I hear you condemning me and mine in the name of scripture and then claiming faith as an excuse. 

Of course, there are those who still claim to be “christians” who also believe in reason and human rights.  It is you folks who are now faced with a difficult choice.  You can continue to stand by and allow your religion (aka cult) to be corrupted by greed and hate or you can take a stand.  You can stand for common decency, respect, and equal treatment of all people.  You can put your fellow “christians” on notice their behavior is not acceptable and take back your faith.  But, if you choose to stand idly by and do nothing while still identifying with those who hate me, you are no longer exempt from my scorn either. [1]I feel it is worth noting, some of the most horrific atrocities ever committed in human history were done in the name of faith.

No matter how hard you try to justify your actions using archaic scripts, you know deep down it is wrong.  And it is you who is accountable for that. 

And to be clear, I don’t hate you.  But don’t expect me to ‘turn the other cheek’ any longer. 

References

References
↑1 I feel it is worth noting, some of the most horrific atrocities ever committed in human history were done in the name of faith.

Home and Back Again

This trip was interesting to say the least.  It was good to see my little bro. [1]He is 28 but he’ll always be my “little brother”  We’ve always been the closet but it seems to be getting stronger.  He is learning just being gay hasn’t changed who I am.  We also had a long talk about our siblings.  He then told me some very funny stories about my relatives and their views on me.  One relative even asked him if we still hugged (Yes, he ridiculed them for being so silly).  He also had apparently told everyone to mind their p’s and q’s as he wouldn’t tolerate any disrespectful behavior.  Anyway, I thought I’d share some funny incidents that occurred over the weekend. 

Funny #1
Halloween night we had a big bonfire.  Two of my brothers were there as well as two of my cousins and their families. Of course, my immediately family already knew about me but their spouses and kids only knew from being told.  My older cousin was completely blown away by the fact I made gay jokes and wisecracks.  We were watching something on TV and I said, “I know I’m gay but even I think THAT is so gay“.  You could have heard a pin drop it was so quiet for about 30 seconds before everyone started laughing.  A very tense milestone (for them) had passed.  She later confided she had warned her kids not to use the word gay around me for fear of hurting my feelings or alienating me (Keep in mind, profanity is a given in my family).  I was touched by the thought but I assured her it was ok. [2]And while it really isn’t ok, small steps people, small steps.   I did encourage her to think about the underlying implications of allowing her kids to talk that way.  While the intent might not be derogatory, the affects can be. 

Funny #2
The younger cousin had admonished her own family in a similar manner.  Her husband I guess didn’t know what to expect (having never met me) and apparently, there was some animosity about the visit.  After a couple hours, he pulled me aside to tell me I wasn’t what he expected.  I asked if he was expecting the stereotypical limp-wristed fembot.  It took him a second to digest what I was saying but he finally admitted he had indeed.  I assured him these are the stereotypes simply because they are so obvious.  I explained that while I could “nell out” with the best of’em, it isn’t my normal demeanor.  I also told him he probably knew more than he thought because not everyone, especially in a small town, likes it known.  That gave him a moment of pause but he took it well I think. lol   Not knowing it, he gave me a back-handed compliment by telling me had he not already known he would never have guessed. 

It was very heartening to see some of my extended family expanding their horizons.  And while there are some who will never be ok with it, I came away knowing I’ve given them something to think about. 

I share these stories because I’ve always believed it isn’t the TV and media that sways most folks.  I think it is their friends, family, coworkers, etc who decide to come out and live openly and honestly that changes their minds.  There are always some who will see you differently but, wouldn’t you rather be liked (or not) for you really are? 

References

References
↑1 He is 28 but he’ll always be my “little brother”
↑2 And while it really isn’t ok, small steps people, small steps.

OY!

I am back home in East Texas visiting my little brother.  He broke his leg last week so I thought I’d surprise him with a visit.  I already had a long weekend scheduled [1]I hate working Halloween and often do my level best to get it off. so it worked out good.  I had originally planned to fly down to LA for a weekend of debauchery.  Oh well, I can be a dirty slut any time. 

moby bored

The above pic is me looking pretty bored. lol  Let’s face it.  There isn’t much to do out here except hunt, fish, breed, and watch DVD’s.  Too late to hunt/fish and I sure as hell ain’t breedin’ so we sat around watching DVDs. 

Last night, my older brother, two of my cousins and their families came by for a big ole fashioned bonfire (read get drunk and talk shit around a big fire).  I usually don’t drink much but being free and in an environment where my only worry was stumbling up the steps, I figured what the hell.  

I can report malt liquor and fireside smores go well together.  Of course, my head is killing me today.  Homemade booze is good but it also packs a powerful kick.  Oy!

Hung over

You can see how hung (over) I was. hehehe  After a nice greasy breakfast and a serious in-flux of liquids I’m feeling somewhat alive again.

More later…

References

References
↑1 I hate working Halloween and often do my level best to get it off.