Category: me

Forlorn

I had to call off the 2nd date with the Beefy guy from the gym today.  I wasn’t feeling too hot and didn’t think barfing on him would be attractive. 

It started last night.  My tummy was a little upset and making weird noises, even for me.  This morning I woke up feeling icky as all hell and tried to seduce the pain away by going back to sleep.  Noon roles around and I crawl from the crypt only feeling slightly less icky. 

The day wears on and I make the best of it.  I did make it out for a couple small errands an a Starbucks run.  Late afternoon finds me squatting over the porcelain god blowing chucks for Jesus.  Two hours later my low-grade fever breaks.  An hour after that I feel almost right as rain and hungry!  Fast forward one more hour and you find me inhaling a burrito, a taco, and leftover brussel sprouts. [1]I know, not the best combo

Currently, I’m propped up in bed with the laptop killing off my future children in my loins.  I’m gonna play F.E.A.R. 2 for a while and then call it a day. 

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Oh, I think I also offended a friend today.  He asked me a question and I didn’t really censure my response.  He got both barrels of my blunt opinion.  I didn’t mean to come off so crass.  Oh well, I’ll apologize tomorrow. 

References

References
↑1 I know, not the best combo

Goose Pimples

Yours truly, met someone new today!  I know, surprise! heh heh

While I don’t have a set type, I do have an affinity for guys that look rough on the outside and soft on the inside.  I ran into a guy at the gym today who I think fits that mold to a T.  lol  Actually, I ran into him in the steam room.  No, nothing happened.  Well, not exactly.  We broke the cardinal room of steam rooms, we talked! lol  I got the distinct pleasure of watching one old codger get all huffy and storm out.  But I digress…

I’ve seen him a few times before but being significantly more muscular than I am, I didn’t really think I’d be his type.  Apparently, I might be wrong.  He is about my height, muscled, hairy, several tattoos, bald head, and a very nice smile. [1]a nice smile gets me every time!  Yeah, that sounds hot and he was but the most significant (and endearing) thing about him was his frank and open demeanor, a trait I find very attractive in others.  And frankly, it is a bit hard to find in a city like SF.  I often sort of reign myself in when meeting someone new as I can be a little intense sometimes.  I didn’t really feel the need while we were chatting and he seemed just as at ease.  [2]Am I swooning? lol  Ok, ok, I thought he was hot too!

Never being the shy one, I gave him my card and he said he’d get in touch.  I know how that goes.  I’m always of the mind nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Well, true to his word, he emailed me and we are supposed to hang out this weekend.  

Wish me luck!?

References

References
↑1 a nice smile gets me every time!
↑2 Am I swooning? lol  Ok, ok, I thought he was hot too!

Smile, You is on Camera

Here is my first video of the new year.  Its a bit longer (15megs) so the load time might be a little sluggish on a slower connection.  You can also download (right click and hit “save target or save link as” option).

I discovered if you are still using IE, the vid won’t load in the window. You can blame MS for being so lame as to not support industry standard code.

WWMD (What Would Moby Do?)

I figured out what was going on with the pics.  It was a plugin.  I didn’t tinker with it but I did upgrade it yesterday.  It is the same plugin that allows me to restrict certain posts to regsitered users.  After pulling my hair (yeah, my hair) out for a couple hours this morning, I found the offending code and snipped it.   Anyway, on to today’s post.  

Over the years, I seem to have developed a rather consistent following of lurkers. [1]people who read often but never comment publicly  I routinely get requests for advice, how-to, what-ifs, etc from this same group.  Being very open about my sexuality its often adult stuff but not always.  I figured why not start sharing?  heehee  Anonymous of course, don’t want to embarrass anyone.  I’ll try to do one every month but don’t get your knickers in a twist if I miss one.  Welcome to the very first WWMD!

Today’s question actually came in from several different readers so I figured it would be a good start. 

Q: How do you tell a guy you are not interested in him sexually? Or, how do you tell a guy you’ve been with once you aren’t interested in a repeat session.

A: I’m a big believer in honesty.  I find honesty to be the best policy in so many ways.  And while not always well-received at first, anyone worth their salt will respect you for it.  Plus, it does away with extended drama, uncomfortable exchanges later, and/or awkward public meetings.  You don’t have to be rude or ugly but you also don’t have to let the awkwardness or fear of alienation trick you into taking a less-honorable route. 

It may take a few attempts until you get the wording/phrasing down right as to not come off as rude.  You can even start out with telling the person you wanna be honest.  Don’t mislead the other person especially if they are “fishing”. [2]Using phrases meant to imply they want more, be it physical or emotional.

This allows you to avoid being “the bad guy” or having to put up with someone else’s issues.  Being respectfully honest puts any issues squarely back in the other persons lap.  I know that sounds a bit callous but very relevant unfortunately.  And let me be frank, anyone who gets angry or irritated at you for being honest probably isn’t worth your time anyway. 

The other side of the coin is you might make a friend.  I’ve actually made several friends thru “encounters” that either didn’t go as planned or didn’t happen at all.  One particular friend comes to mind, I truly would have regretted not getting to know him.  

 

So there you have it.  The first official WWMD!  How’d I do?

References

References
↑1 people who read often but never comment publicly
↑2 Using phrases meant to imply they want more, be it physical or emotional.

Oh No He Dinnn’t!

Wow, all the comments on the last post were great!  I didn’t realize so many people would comment.  heh heh  It was great reading all the stories.  Thanks to everyone who shared. 

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I had a bit of a rough week.  Work wasn’t overly busy but the drama over the City’s budget deficit continues.  Not surprisingly, the City is facing one of the largest budget shortfalls in its entire history. [1]The state isn’t doing so well either.  I’ll be the first to admit the City’s paryoll is significant.  SF has 1 civil servant for every 5 citizens.  That is a lot by any standard.  I’m grateful to have a job so I won’t bore you with all the stuff they are trying to take away from us.  And while I’d never support anyone getting laid off, it may come to that.  My department is somewhat immune to layoffs but it isn’t written in stone.  Its gonna get uglier for sure. 

*

On top of that, the land my dad left my brothers and I has hit yet another snag.  I’m not sure why I’m surprised but this one is a doozy.  So much so, it may take us years to resolve it.  Ugh.  Blood-suckng attorneys and their double-speak really pisses me off too.  Why can’t they just speak frakin’ English!  So now,not only am I broke but I have no equity to show for it.  Lovely.

*

As if my own drama wasn’t enough, my soon-to-be ex roomie has been irritating the hell out of me.  He can’t manage his finances for shit and has been dragging me along for the ride.  He hasn’t even paid rent yet and had the fucking audacity to ask me for money!  We had a few “words”.  On the off-hand chance he doesn’t move, it is time for another come-to-Jesus meeting when he gets back.  I’m done giving him breaks.  He can either start pulling his own weight or get out.  And if he does move, I’ve decided to proceed with finding another roomie. 

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And to top it all off, the weather has been down right shitty today.  Oh well, I guess we do need the rain, even if it is a bummer.  I’m doing lunch and a movie w/my buddy Juan tomorrow to take my mind off things. 

References

References
↑1 The state isn’t doing so well either.

Memory

What is your earliest memory?  I mean the very first thing you can remember as a child. 

I was talking with some co-workers the other day and somehow we ended up on childhood memories.  Everyone seemed to think it was odd that I have memories from when I was 3 years old.  I do.  I can remember waking up in the mornings crawling out of my parents bed and sneaking into the living room to watch cartoons.  I know for a fact these memories are prior to age 5 as we moved just before I turned 5 and then again just after I turned 7. 

Granted the memories are a bit disconnected and not at all clear however, I seem to have a whole bunch of’em floating around in my head.  I can remember an old goose called “Grey-boy” that used to run, knock me down, jump on my back, and then proceed to beat me with his wings.  That goose stayed with us until I was almost in my teens.  Its funny, when he went missing from our farm, I got really teary-eyed.  I never imagined I was so attached to that mean old bastard.  I was though.

I can remember my old rocking horse that my dad use to have to practically pry me off of.  I remember playing in the dryer until one one day my dad closed the door and turned it on for a few seconds.  lol  Let me tell you, that few seconds was more than enough to encourage me not to play in the dryer anymore.

I can remember my older brothers having water balloon fights with the neighbors across the road.  I can remember hiding from my foster mother in a giant fig tree in our back yard.  I can even remember riding in our old car and going dumpster diving behind craft stores.  My foster mother was an avid seamstress but being very poor, we couldn’t afford expensive fabrics.  I carry no shame in that memory.  My mother made some of the most beautiful quilts from those “scraps” she found.  I only wish I still had the quilt(s) she made me.  Beyond the fact they would be quite valuable today, I miss the connection they gave me to her.  One became so ratty I had to throw it away.  The other went missing in all the moving around I did in my early adult years. 

The more I think about it, I find I have a whole plethora of early memories.

Charity Begins At Home

I’ve kept something under wraps for awhile but I’m almost ready to launch and I thought I’d share it with you first. 

I am starting a non-profit organization.  While not overly difficult to setup, it is a bit tedious.  Basically, I want to take old and used electronics and either refurbish them for the poor or make sure they get sent to a proper recycling center.  In the beginning, I plan to focus on computers, laptops, and cell-phones.  Depending on the success rate, I may incorporate more items later down the road.

It is no secret I’m a bit of a techno geek.  I’m routinely sought out by co-workers and friends to help with their gadget woes.  I often find the technologically-challenged resort to buying newer hardware because of a lack of understanding when things go wrong.  Well, the old gadgets often end up in landfills, benefitting no one.  There are thousands of less fortunate families that could use your old, last-seasons gadget of choice.  In the event the device is beyond or not worth repair, it should be recycled properly.  Many electronic gadgets contain trace amounts (sometimes more) of very poisonous chemicals and compounds that end up in our drinking water when not disposed of properly.  Plus many of the internal components can be broken down and recycled.  There is a center just over in Sonoma county heavily involved in recycling electronics and I plan to work with them. 

My goal is simple.  Act as a conduit between those who have and those who don’t.  I’d originally thought of going it alone but one of my co-workers is heavily involved in charitable work with the homeless here in SF.  She was very excited about my idea and welcomed me into her org.  I’m still looking at the pros/cons, but either way I plan on doing it. 

So, if you  have any old computers, laptops, PDA’s, and/or cell-phones lying around collecting dust, dig’em out and send’em my way.  Leave a comment and I will send you a mailing address.  The items as well as the shipping costs are tax deductible.  I’m also working on setting up a webpage to accept donations to cover operating costs.  I figure why not harness the ability of social networks for something other than porn and junk? lol

Moving On

In a completely different train of thought, I can’t remember if I mentioned my hoe-bag roomie (link is totally NSFW) has decided to move to New York.  He leaves on the 30th for a month to see if he can find work.  He keeps telling me he hasn’t decided for sure yet but it is pretty obvious he is planning on moving.  I haven’t decided if I plan to replace him yet.  The extra money is nice but I’ve reached an age where the thought of having a complete stranger live w/me isn’t overly appealing.  A couple of his friends have expressed an interest but we’ll see. 

Considering I recently forked over $2500 in fees relating to the land my Dad left my brothers and I, I probably should consider a roomie for awhile.  I’ll probably have to fork over another 3Gs to finish everything.  I’m not the least bit happy but we are fast approaching a legal deadline to complete the transition.  If I didn’t pony up the dough, the land could have gone into a sort of legal limbo status that could take years to sort out. 

Needless to say, yours truly will be broke for awhile.  Even worse, courtesy of George “Dumbass” Bush, the taxes on my bracket have gone up.  I’m sure our new leader-in-competence will sort it all out however, that doesn’t help me this year.  I just keep telling myself I’m grateful to have a job.  I know many aren’t doing so well right now and things will get worse before they get better. 

Bitten / Kudos

The blogging bug has definitely bitten me again (as if you couldn’t tell). I guess the new blog and template has inspired me. heh heh

I’ve been tinkering w/using Google’s “Friend Connect” to allow people to sign into my site. It was pretty easy to setup and it worked well. Unfortunately, it only seemed to complicate the process. Their sign in doesn’t actually create a new user account on my blog, which of course means no control over content and access. Users would have to double register to truly be listed as “user”. I’ve since disabled it. I guess my blog really isn’t a social mecca anyhow. lol

In a slightly different vein of thought, a big thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes.  I was very humbled by all the kind words and emails I got.  I might have mentioned I have a 4-day weekend this week and have been a total slug so far.  Well, besides the gym anyway. lol  TFA arrives tomorrow night.  The only thing planned, besides the obvious, is to check out the new Underworld flick.  I’m a big fan of the movies so far.

Tonight, my buddy kristaki drug me out to some of the local gay bars in the gaborhood.  He is straight but grew up here so totally cool.  His fiance has a whole contingent of gay friends as well.  Sadly, the group seemed to like all the bars I hate. lol  I wasn’t miserable but I certainly wasn’t overly excited.  kristaki and I were in the acadamy together and we could pretty much have a good time anywhere.  We actually ended up splitting off from the group and wound up at Sparky’s gorging ourselves on chili cheese fries.  Even though we didn’t really do anything exciting I had a blast.  I don’t get to see him as much now that he is on the force and has a blushing bride-to-be.

So now I’m home feeling like a bloated heifer.  Ugh, I ate too much.  Tomorrow is definitely gonna be a cardio day!

Empowerment

I rarely talk about politics here.  Mainly, as it is a very  personal thing and also beat to death pretty much  everywhere else.  I’m just feel compelled to interject my  feelings today.

For all the nay-sayers out there, our new President  [1]notice how I deftly avoid the junk filters by leaving his  name out. is off and running.  Whether you agree with  him or not, you can’t argue he is being decisive.  His  actions so far indicate a strong return of leadership in  our government beyond petty greed.  And lord knows,  he has his work cut out for him.  I personally think if he  only delivers on half of his promises, he will have put  our country back in the right direction.

And while I’m not so foolish to think the world is just  gonna become rosey overnight, I must admit of having a feeling of hope again.  Seeing our new President come out swinging with real actionable behavior gives me a bit of pride in my country once more.  I find myself believing our luck direction has changed and things will eventually get better.  If this is any indication on the rest of his term, we certainly could have done worse in our choice of a new leader.

I can’t ever remember a time in my life being so completely captivated by political news.  I think my poor tivo is confused because it has gotten used to me not recording anything political.

Mr President, I wish you luck in the months/years to come.

/rant

References

References
↑1 notice how I deftly avoid the junk filters by leaving his  name out.