Category: me

Wrong Turn

I went on a ride this past Saturday with the moto group. It went well except for a bit of confusion in the beginning. The group sponsor who also happened to plan the ride sort of pissed me off. He took off and left the group behind. 

The ride was supposed to be a short but scenic one thru and around the City. There were about 8 or 9 of us to start. We started at Gayway [1]Safeway on Market and headed out for Ocean beach via Golden gate park. Now, in a group this large, it is easy to get caught up w/traffic, lights, stop signs, etc. We hadn’t even made it to the park before our host was completely out of sight. We stopped and texted him to see if he was pulled over somewhere waiting for us. We didn’t hear anything so headed for the first official stopping point, which was Ocean beach. We texted again from the beach and he was already over the Golden Gate bridge! I don’t care how good of a teacher or rider he is, that was just rude.

I kept my temper in check as I am still a bit of a n00b to the group. However, several other guys were obviously annoyed and two even abandoned the ride out of frustration. The remaining 6 of us ended up driving down Hwy 1 South. [2]One of my favorite rides The ride was a bit windy but the sun was out and it was beautiful driving down the coastline. We stopped for lunch at Alice’s [3]a local biker hotspot in Woodside before heading back. Round trip, it was about 150 miles. 

Today was the first day I took the lead with the group. Normally, I stay to the rear as I don’t know all the routes that well yet. Anyway, I set a brisk pace w/o leaving anyone behind. The guys seemed to like the fact I was a little aggressive w/o being reckless.

On a side note, I sort of use the group rides to test how far along my skills have developed. I’m doing pretty good overall I think. I’m by no means an expert rider yet but I’m getting there.  And even though the accident in August was in no way my fault, I still found myself being overly timid on curves. That seems to have passed thankfully. It might of had something to do with the fact this particular route is very familiar to me. The strip from Hwy 1 off the coast along Hwy 84 is a motorcyclist’s dream come true. It has a little bit of everything; open runs, windy roads, and a variety of curves.

References

References
↑1 Safeway on Market
↑2 One of my favorite rides
↑3 a local biker hotspot in Woodside

WWMD v3.1

So this month’s What Would Moby Do is much less risqué. lol  Actually, I find this question comes up a lot and is a doozy for newbies to the world of gay.  It is also a two part-er, hence the 3.1.

Q: How do you meet people for friendship?

A:  There are a variety of ways to meet new people.  Bars, online, social gatherings, volunteering, etc can all be venues based on where you live. [1]Living in a remote or small town might mean having to trek to the closest big city. 

Make an effort.  Don’t show up somewhere and just expect others to magically engage you in conversation.  You don’t have to be the life of the party, little nudges go a long way though.  Be yourself, be honest.  Let go of any unrealistic expectations of what or who you should or shouldn’t be.  No one likes a phony and it often takes way too much effort to maintain such a facade. 

Volunteering is a great way to not only meet people but you get to do a good deed.  Find gay related charities or organizations in your area.  It doesn’t have to be a lifetime commitment but it should be something you can relate to or enjoy.  Play the “newbie” angle.  Use it as an excuse to introduce yourself to others.  You’d be surprised how many people will reach out and try to make you feel welcome. 

Join a social group that involves hobbies or activities you enjoy.  Same as volunteering, you get to meet new people and work that “newbie” status! lol  This can go hand in hand w/online social sites.  There are plenty to choose from.  Chances are high any hobby you pick there will be a social site dedicated to it.  If you take the online route, take the time to fill out your profiles with your info, likes, dislikes, goals, hobbies, etc.  Like anything in life, you get out of it what you put into it.  I keep a master word (text works just as well) file with all of my profile data in it.  I can easily copy and paste it if I find myself joining a new or different site. 

Continue reading WWMD v3.1

References

References
↑1 Living in a remote or small town might mean having to trek to the closest big city.

Rewind & Review

still chugging along

First, a big thank you to everyone for the kind words and support. I’m not upset or angry as much as disappointed. I liked him so of course it stung a little. Even though I think his method was a bit callous, I appreciate him saying up front he wasn’t interested. It saved both of us a lot of unnecessary drama later.

brettcajun made an interesting comment I feel bears review. His point about self-analysis was very astute, with one minor modification. This was not about what I did wrong. And while I did spend some time going over what transpired, I meant what I said and said what I meant. I regret nothing.

Not always being the most introspective person, it has taken me years to develop a strong sense of self and I have learned to value that. I am somewhat proud to say, now more than ever, I recognize in myself what it is I do and do not have to offer potential partners. I am learning to value that as well. On the other side of the coin, I also have a firm idea what is I want and need from someone else. And frankly, I am not willing to forgo that just to have a partner. [1]been there, done that, still have the t-shirt

So yeah, I’m a little miffed things didn’t go better but ultimately, it is for the best.

References

References
↑1 been there, done that, still have the t-shirt

Dear Moby

Well, I’m 3 for 3 in losses for dating this year. lol 

I just got a “Dear Moby” letter.  The irony is I hadn’t even finished the post about how we met. How’s that for a kick in the rubber pants?

Readers digest version: I’ve seen said guy around since I first moved here.  We would always do a double take when we saw each other.  However the timing always seemed to be off.  Then there were the 3+ years I was with the ex.  Fast forward a few more years, we start seeing each other around again.One particular time I stop to say hi, we exchange info but he had started dating someone.

Fast forward again to 2 weeks ago.  He says hello to me at Starbucks and seems to want to connect.  We have a coffee date last weekend.  I got the impression things went really well. He even invited me to go line-dancing after the Easter holiday.  

Today, I get a rather ambiguously worded email. [1]So very personal of him Basically, “its not you, its me” sort of shtick.  While I might have been born at night, I was not born last night.  I can clearly read between the lines.  And considering how long its taken us to actually spend any length of time together, I’m not really upset.  My real gripe is I wish he would have been more of a man about it. I’d respect him a whole lot more for having enough personal integrity to just tell me he didn’t think we were a good match. 

Oh well, as Wanda (from In Living Color) would say, “gurl, I dun burned up another one!”

References

References
↑1 So very personal of him

Doh!

I have a little confession to make.  I sorta met someone recently.  No, not the beefy guy. Actually, I met this guy before the beefy guy but only off and on and mostly in the carnal sense. While on the beefy side as well, he has more of a humpy corn fed look. [1]Not to mention, an ass so plump and juicy it would make you sit up and beg.  I’m sure I don’t need to fill in the details.  I’ll just say we seemed to be a good “fit”.  And with the beefy guy out of the picture, corn fed boy has been a nice distraction, to say the least.

We’ve spent about 5 nights together off/on over the last 2 weeks. I know, shame on me for not spilling the beans earlier.  With everything else as of late, I just didn’t get around to blabbing about it, sue me.  Plus, as I said, things weren’t serious.  However, I was beginning to get the impression things might take a more serious route.  Well that is until tonight.  After a very hot couple rounds of sex, he tells me he has been seeing someone else and has to stop playing around with me. WTF?  I guess things are getting a little more serious with the other guy.  Talk about a kick in the teeth. 

I can handle him choosing the other guy over me, but his total selfish approach hit me a bit wrong. To add insult to injury, I had invited him to a party with me tonight. [2]Rob, sorry I didn’t make it.  Obviously, that didn’t happen. My mood was a bit soured so I ended up sitting at home polishing off a box of girl scout cookies, a chicken/cheese bagel, and two cups of pudding.

I’m over it now.  The good news is I’ll make it to the gym nice and early tomorrow to work off the billion calories I consumed tonight. 

As the ever famous Hateful Helen would say, “NEXT!”

References

References
↑1 Not to mention, an ass so plump and juicy it would make you sit up and beg.
↑2 Rob, sorry I didn’t make it.

Color Me Crazy

As if the drama last night wasn’t enough, I got called a ‘crazy racist’ online today because I wasn’t attracted to a guy sexually. Not the first time and probably not the last. Here is our conversation.

Him: Nice profile and pics, wanna come f*ck me?

Me: Hey bud, I appreciate the offer but not really a match for me. Happy Hunting.

Him: Why don’t you just admit your crazy racist ass-hole. You make me sick. [1]I got a little annoyed here and my reply could have been worded better, I’m sure.

Me: Wait. Because, I’m not attracted to you, I’m a racist asshole? And first you want me to fuck you but then I make you sick? Which is it? I could have just hit the delete button like a lot of guys on here. I took the time to politely say, “no thanks” and I’m the asshole? So, in that vein of thought, what I should have said is, “no thanks, your fugly”. Would that have been better? Do me a favor, don’t project your inability to handle rejection onto me.

Him: *I got a follow up reply but I deleted it without opening it.*

Like I said, I could have handled it better by just ignoring his pissy email. That’s my shit and I own it, moving on. Keeping in mind here, there are no racial references for or against anywhere in any of my profile(s). This leap of logic on his part was unfounded and completely out of line.

*

So, to beat this horse properly we first need to identify several important but often lost distinctions. First, there is the very real existence of racism. Right behind that comes ignorance/indifference. And bringing up the rear (pun intended) is physical attraction (or not) to certain physical traits common to one race or another.

I am not so foolish to think racism is gone in America. Quite the contrary, some of the nasty fallout over our new president shows it is still very much alive. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Forgetting for a moment the races are blending more and more with every generation, dismissing a whole section of society based solely on their race is offensive and can be classified as racism.

In relation to the gay community, I don’t think it is out and out racism as much as ignorance. [2]I am not excusing it, just stating an observation. I can’t tell you how often I see profiles with “not into Blacks or Asians.” You may not intend to be offensive but that is exactly what you are doing by making such statements. Imagine how you’d feel reading a profile of someone you found attractive and they dismissed your entire existence based on your race. I particularly love how some guys try to apologize at the same time for saying such things. If you have to apologize perhaps you shouldn’t say it. How about you just leave it out. Nothing compels you to reply, meet, or hookup with anyone you don’t wish to. Why add such inflammatory language to your profile? [3]Out of fairness, there was a time when I made this awful mistake. I am happy to say that was well over 10 years ago.

Of course, when it comes to sex you can’t force physical attraction or the lack thereof. Attraction, like our sexuality, is not always a quantifiable behavior. For the purpose of this rant, I am referring specifically to attraction and race. And herein lies the most important distinction I feel is often lost on so many. Not being attracted to a physical trait(s) common to one race or another is not racism. From my own observations, I think this is often the real root of the matter but given the ignorance mentioned above, the line quickly becomes blurred. Want a sure fire way to know? Its quite simple. If you really have no racial hang-ups, you will find that there are always exceptions to your attraction (or lack) to a particular race.

For myself, I rarely think in term of absolutes so saying I’m not into a whole race would be a lie. I have my range and it commonly crosses the races. I’ll also admit there are some physical traits common to some races I am not attracted to. And while this is a racial issue it is only in the sense of physical attraction. However, that is never an absolute either. I don’t give a rats ass what color your skin is, if I like what you have to offer and you flop it in front of me, I’m gonna taste it. Or, if I don’t, I won’t.

References

References
↑1 I got a little annoyed here and my reply could have been worded better, I’m sure.
↑2 I am not excusing it, just stating an observation.
↑3 Out of fairness, there was a time when I made this awful mistake. I am happy to say that was well over 10 years ago.

Rough & Tumble

This week has started off a bit rough.  I had another bout of insomnia Sunday night so didn’t fall asleep until almost 4 am.  Needless to say, I didn’t make it to the gym on Monday.  I was dead tired on my feet yesterday but a friend was in town from Denver and I really wanted to see him so ended up going out after work.  I didn’t stay out long though.  At one point, I was nodding off while he was talking to me! I came home and didn’t even turn on the computer.  I think I was asleep 5 mins after my head hit the pillow. 

I had a good workout today but it went a little long and I was almost late to work.  Didn’t get time to stop and pick up healthy food either.  Luckily, work had a St Paddy’s feed and we had plenty of fresh corned beef, cabbage, tators, and carrots.  YUM!  I feel like a big ole tick about now. 

So far, I’ve been handling the longer work schedule better than last time.  My gym schedule has suffered a bit over the last couple weeks but I’m trying to get back on track. [1]I was particularly lazy this past weekend, I didn’t go once  I tend to rebel mentally when I’m constantly on the go. I don’t like it and I find after a while I just get in a “I ain’t doing shit” sort of mood.  But, as TFA would say, it is what it is.  I just need to suck it up and get back on track.  I did both Chest & Tri’s today and pushed myself to finish.  I had to drop the last set but only due to time constraints. 

*

People have been asking about Beefy boy. I didn’t hear from him all week or over the weekend.  I got an email on FB yesterday.  He had to go back to Hawaii for personal reasons.  He says he’ll be back.  In this economy, I’m not so sure.

*

And while I can be forgiven for forgetting a get-together on Sunday, my behavior towards another guy this past weekend isn’t so easy to forgive.  I mentioned a few posts back, I “met” a guy recently who really wanted to go on a date.  He was fun and I figured it would be worthwhile.  Anyway, he emailed me a couple times last week trying to arrange some time together.  I replied I’d be interested.  However, the weekend arrived and I just totally didn’t feel like it.  Like a turd, I didn’t follow up.  Granted this was only a booty-call scenario and we hadn’t set anything definite, but I still feel like a schmuck.  I could have emailed or even picked up the phone.  I hate when guys flake on me so I definitely know better.  I got an email from him early yesterday.  He was a bit peeve’d, rightfully so.  I called him back but he was at work.  I called again later but he didn’t answer, I left a message.  I apologized for my behavior and explained a bit but the reasons don’t really matter.  I was a jerk, I own it.  If he doesn’t call me back, I’ll completely understand.  If the situation were reversed, I might not call him either. 

On the up-side, I have some fun time arranged with a regular buddy tonight.  Maybe it ill help get me out of my funk. 

References

References
↑1 I was particularly lazy this past weekend, I didn’t go once

Ooops

I was supposed to meet up with a blog reader who is in town today and like an idiot I totally spaced it.  Good lord, I feel about as tall as an ant hill right now.  I hate when people are no-shows so I make an effort NOT to be a flake. 

Even worse, he sent me a very polite email afterwards. Not a hint of anger or resentment.  Nice, but I feel even more like a heel now.  Ugh! 

I can be very absent-minded about things, especially appointments.  To prevent myself from spacing, I usually write everything in my calendar. [1]Its the first page I visit on the computer in the morning to remind myself of things.  Naturally, I didn’t add my little get together today. The irony here is something has been nagging me at the back of my mind all day.  poof!  Now I know.

Anyway, I called him and he graciously agreed try again.  God love’em for putting up with me.

 

*Update* – we met up later in the evening and had a great time talking over dinner.

References

References
↑1 Its the first page I visit on the computer in the morning to remind myself of things.