Joined at The Hip

Today my buddy kristaki married his sweetheart Ramune. Inserted is my self-inflicted mugshot taken before the big shindig commenced.

In a not so random turn of events, I knew both the bride and groom, I work with both of them. The groom and I were in the same academy class together. We hit it off as buds pretty much right away. Ramune started about 3 years later. They’ve been living together as a couple for some time now but today was finally the big day.

I normally avoid formal events as I hate the fussiness behind all of it. We’ve become a society focused more on the appearance of tradition vs the actual meaning behind it. [1]A topic in itself, but we’ll save that nut and crack it open on a later day when I’m desperate.  I couldn’t not attend their wedding. While I know kristaki more, Ramune was indoctrinated into the local chapter as a Steward and I’m hoping to mold her in my professional image. [2]Don’t go there! lol Seriously, I think she is a sweet soul with a mischievous side that doesn’t come to light until you really get to know her. I’ve always thought they were a good ‘fit’ for each other and I was reminded of that today. Looking beyond the nervous apprehension, I saw a couple secure in each other with a bright future together. I wish them all the best.

You can stop here unless you wish to read my reminiscent ramblings, which as you know can be significant at times. :p

Continue reading Joined at The Hip

References

References
1 A topic in itself, but we’ll save that nut and crack it open on a later day when I’m desperate.
2 Don’t go there! lol

Quickie

No, not that. Get your mind out of my gutter. lol Just a couple random shots from the ride this past weekend. I ended up going Saturday and Sunday.  Saturday with a few of the guys and Sunday solo. I’ve been forgetting to grab the camera but I managed to snap off a few this time.

This was on Sunday when I went by myself. This chick was walking by staring at me like I had two heads because I was taking a self-pic. I guess she’d never seen anyone taking pictures with one of those ‘new-fangled thinga-ma-jigs’ referred to as a camera. Of course, I promptly ignored her. Whateva! lol

I sometimes like to ride solo as I can do my own thing. Riding in a group (especially as the lead) requires a lot of effort and you have to always be thinking about how a particular move will affect everyone. Plus, not everyone rides at the same skill level and/or style. I tend to be aggressive (without being crazy) but ride much slower in groups. It really isn’t fair to ride too fast or aggressive in large groups as it isn’t really safe. It encourages people to ride outside their skill level and that’s always a bad idea. Solo or in groups of 2 or 3, you can haul ass and pass a lot more.

Saturday, there were only 3 of us so it wasn’t bad. We didn’t go far, just down to Woodside/Alice’s for lunch and back. On the way back, we were cutting across Hwy 84 to Hwy 1 (which runs along the ocean), I was a ways ahead and came across a guy that looked to have wiped out. He was walking and carrying a fairing so I was thinking, ‘holy shit!’ lol Turns out, it worked loose and blew off while he was riding and he was just retrieving it. He was kind of a hottie but totally straight. I stopped to check on him and let him use my tools to try and jerry-rig his fairing back on. I think he pegged me for being gay but he was way cool about it. [1]He might have caught me staring at his rather pronounced crotch but I’m not sure. heehee After that we just cruised home along the coast enjoying the beautiful weather. The rest of the ride was pretty uneventful.

Sunday, I got a wild hair and decided to go solo. I went back down South thru Woodside, up over Big Basin, and then down Hwy 9 which has some awesome curves. I took a couple of rough roads that I normally avoid as its just not safe to have large groups of hard terrain. [2]My wrists weren’t too happy about that

It was crazy busy with bikers everywhere. I couldn’t believe how many bikes were out on the road. At one point, I’m cruising along at my speed feeling quite proud of myself for being a bad-ass until this guy blew by me pushing close to 90 mph. He was taking curves like a maniac and burning thru the route. It was very humbling because I’m a good rider but I’m not a pro. I think its nice to keep perspective when you are traveling at high speeds on two wheels with nothing between you and the pavement but leather and pads. I wasn’t even tempted to try and catch him. Anyway, this last shot is of my bike parked up among the throng at Alice’s.

On the way back, I stopped back thru Woodside and ran into a buddy. We hung out and had a late lunch before heading home. The fog, which had been unusually absent, had rolled in with a vengeance while I was tripping thru the mountains. It was down right frosty coming home along the coast. So the ride home was very windy and chilly. I got a wake up call when I saw a newer model cadi trying like crazy to pass every car in sight. This guy was driving crazy. He was passing on blind curves and hills. As we come into Half Moon bay, I see him cutting other cars off and weaving like an idiot. This was right before I pulled over to put the liner to my jacket in. After getting back on the road, I come over the next hill to see him pulled over with not one but two chippies behind him. Serves his dumb ass right. I drove by real slow, flicked open my visor, smiled real big, and gave him the gayest wave I could. What a douche-bag. I hope they impounded his car and made him walk. That idiot could have killed someone.

Anyway, I made it home in one-piece and promptly crashed on the sofa for a nice 2 hour nap.

References

References
1 He might have caught me staring at his rather pronounced crotch but I’m not sure. heehee
2 My wrists weren’t too happy about that

Here

Still here. Just busy busy busy. In a nutshell I’m:

  • disgusted/sad over greedy corps masquerading as “grass roots” efforts and spreading outright lies and fear regarding healthcare reform.
  • happy over last week’s moto-ride. One of the best yet.
  • adjusting to me new (old) schedule well.
  • working on a couple projects that are consuming a lot of my free time.
  • having hot sex with random hot menz.

There probably won’t be a WWMD this month as I haven’t gotten around to fleshing one out so-to-speak. No worries, I’ll get to it on the next go-round.

The new roomie is working out exceedingly well so far. We rarely see each other because of opposite schedules. Last weekend, he took it upon himself to do a very nasty chore, steam cleaning th e common areas. I was so surprised (happily so) to come home from my moto-ride and discover he’d done it for me. What a trooper! The old roomie is doing ok too.

The new rims for the bike are on back-order and won’t be here until September. I’m sad but can’t help it.

The boy is doing well. I miss him at times but we still talk daily.

Ok, that is about it for now. More later when I have some more time.

Oh, here. Enjoy a ‘purdy picture!

 

Uptick

In news of the probably not-so-exciting category, I’ve noticed a huge jump in scam related spammy email lately. My email filter does a pretty darn good job of filtering out the crap but I do often quickly scan thru it to catch any false-positives. So anyway, you probably remember the old Nigerian money scam and its many 100’s of variants. Usually written in poor English about someone somewhere in the world trying to access or “free up” millions of dollars from a deceased/deposed person of some sort and “if only you would help” you could have a small percentage (in the millions) for your time and effort.

What this tells me is that people are once again falling for crap like this. It could also just be unscrupulous souls trying to take advantage of the poor economy and people who are desperate for cash. While I’m sure the latter is part of it, these folks focus on scams that work. I get about 10-20 a day now which is a huge spike. Used to, I’d see one every week or so. To see this many all at once is scary to think about.

If you’ve been living under a rock somewhere just try to remember “if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is”. In other words, don’t be an idiot.  Of course, I prefer my granny’s version, “believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.

Ho Hum

I can’t seem to get overly worked up over Gay High Holy Day #2 [1]Up your Ally street fair, formerly known as Dore Alley this year. I think it stems mostly from my schedule. I’ve been pushing myself these last few months and I’m realizing I’m a little burned out. Being the typical Aquarian that I am, I hate rigid schedules…ugh. The change of watch at work couldn’t have come at a better time.

I’m also not hosting anyone this year either for GHHD2. I think some of my excitement often comes from out of town friends who come up for the event. Seeing them excited gets me excited. Its like living in New Orleans for Mardi Gras, after awhile it just gets old. I do have a couple of friends coming up though. Chris aka Wildcuddler from twitter and the adorable Andy, both from Austin, are gonna be here.

I was originally supposed to go up to TN this weekend to see my younger brother while he is up there. But he was having drama so I decided against it. I was hoping to meet another famous blogger but he has his hands full with other stuff at the moment. Maybe after I’ve adjusted back to my old schedule, I can plan again. I have several more opportunities coming up before year end anyway.

While not unexpected or surprising, my blogging has suffered too. I don’t much mind as it ebbs and flows like everything in my life but it is a goo indicator. And you’ll get a kick out of this part, even my naughty time has suffered. Less trips to bb’s, less shenanigans at the gym, and even less online hookups. Relatively speaking, I’ve practically become celibate lately. lol If that doesn’t shock you, nothing will! Frankly, the boy has been the only real consistency in that area at all lately.

I’ll be honest, I’m irritated with myself. I didn’t realize how much my schedule was stressing me and seeing it now makes me angry. I really didn’t have a choice the last time as I got bumped off my days off but I did this time and I can’t believe I almost stayed on my current shift. What the hell was I thinking? The other irritating part is my vacation slots have to be planned a year in advance [2]We sign up once a year for all of our allotted vacation slots. We can take extra unplanned time but it is based on staffing levels which fluctuate wildly. and I’ve totally blown thru two of them already!

Lesson learned. Being off this week has been a god-send. And even though I haven’t done jack shit, it feels so good. I can slowly feel my energies returning and am looking forward to getting back on the shorter shifts come Monday.

References

References
1 Up your Ally street fair, formerly known as Dore Alley
2 We sign up once a year for all of our allotted vacation slots. We can take extra unplanned time but it is based on staffing levels which fluctuate wildly.

Bareback Banned

*Long rant today. Informative if you care to read, otherwise skip down if you aren’t in a ‘heavy reading’ mood*

A small firestorm was set off yesterday in the twitterverse w/the announcement of IML banning the sale of bareback [1]sex w/o condoms videos in the future. (It would probably help if you read the article before continuing)  You can also read the fallout from Joe.my.god. I bounced it over to him and he posted it as well.

I thought I’d give it a thorough beating here rather than endless broken comments on twitter and elsewhere. Personally, I have mixed views on the decision. While I support the idea, in theory, I honestly don’t see it having any real affect as is on the problem. Educated informed adults watching a fetish barebacking video does not necessarily equate having unsafe sex in person.

Had this decision been part of a broader effort to unite the neg/poz camps thru acceptance and education, I think it might have had much more of an impact. As is, it 1) is divisive thru the prevailing but misguided belief that blame and finger-pointing is productive, 2) fetish’izes (made up word of the day) the taboo further, and 3) caters to the failed idea that censure has ever worked w/human behavior. Sexuality is tied to our base instincts as human beings and has never been as easy as right from wrong. If it were would the Catholic church still be fighting the ‘abstinence only’ fight? Oh yeah, they’re really winning that battle. /sarcasm

As usual, there are several important distinctions overlooked in the often heated battle over barebacking. From my perspective, the good/bad sides of barebacking, seeing boths sides of the issue (neg and poz), societal re-enforcement of conflicting do’s and don’ts, and finally dispelling the myth(s) often propagated thru irrational fear and ignorance. Otherwise, we end up bickering and solving nothing. Meanwhile, HIV continues to rise in the gay community.

Continue reading Bareback Banned

References

References
1 sex w/o condoms

New

I’ve finally started adding new blogs to my RSS reader again. I’ve been blog hopping [1]hopping from link to link and found a few new ones that struck my fancy. Its been a while and I guess I was overdue. I also deleted a few that haven’t been updated in months.

I’ve gotten a few questions about where my blogroll went after switching to the new blog database. I decided not to add it back as it got a bit childish at times. I’d find blogs that linked to me and then discover later they’d remove me if I didn’t link back. I used to auto-follow but now that I have so many, I only follow blogs that I actually read. It isn’t meant as an insult or anything negative and shouldn’t be taken that way. And if you read my linking rules, you already know that.

Oh, and I’m doing one of “those” posts later this week. You better be logged in beyotches!

References

References
1 hopping from link to link

WWMD – Coming Out

This is a hard question for me to answer. Having some significant mental (and physical) scars from my own coming-out, it is not something I often look back on fondly. That said, I’ve come a long way over the years and I wish I would have had the options most gay people have today.

Q: How do you recommend coming out to your family/friends?

A: As I sat down to write this, I realized I’ve touched on it in a variety of ways over the years. I guess it took someone asking before I could tie it all together in one cohesive post.

First off, I hate to break it to ya but there is no one-size-fits-all answer here.  Everyone has a different situation. While I am a big believer in openness and honesty, you have to weigh that honesty with self-preservation. If you are dependent on another, financially or otherwise, it is not always easy to take the high road. However, once you’ve reached a financial stability in your life, fear of survival is no longer an excuse.

From my own experiences growing up in a very rural secluded area, my view of gay people was the limp-wristed, feminine stereotype. While not representing said stereotype, I clearly recognized some traits in myself. It scared the shit out of me at the time. [1]Ironically, I later turned myself into the very same stereotype in an attempt to fit in. I spent many years trying to convince myself I wasn’t really gay. I had no desire to wear women’s clothing/makeup so I couldn’t possibly be gay. I just had this odd sexual attraction to men I couldn’t control no matter how much I wished it away or beat myself up over it. I continuously tried to control my thoughts, feelings, and impulses to no avail. My burgeoning sexuality would not be denied and no matter how hard I tried, I could not “convince” or “change” myself into being 100% straight. [2]Not to mention, the very thought of sex with a woman totally grossed me out. lol The mental anguish I put myself thru was intense and severe. On top of that, I felt guilty for not being able to control myself and this only made me feel worse. It wasn’t until years later I began to realize my failed attempts to ‘fix’ myself were total irrational bullshit

So, the first thing you need to accept and resolve in yourself is that you are not a bad person. You do not need to punish or chastise yourself for expressing a perfectly natural impulse (to you). Whether society has yet to realize that simple truth or not, you have an inalienable right to exist and be, just like everyone else. And for cracker’s sake, do not fall for the foolish notion you have to conform to a higher standard just to obtain the basic rights given to everyone else. We do not need to hold ourselves to a higher standard to obtain equal treatment.

Once you come to terms with accepting yourself, you need to realize you are not alone. While being gay still carries stigma in society, we are more vocal and visual than ever before. Yes, we still have a hard road ahead of us, but we have more rights than anytime in modern history. Not only that, the age of technology and the internet has made it easier than ever to reach out to others. On a side note, your sexuality on the Kinsey Scale may vary based on genetics. [3]Not everyone ranks as polar opposites, totally straight or gay. It may take you some time to figure this part out.

Please understand your refusal to act on natural impulses does not make you a ‘convert’ no matter how hard the religious fundies try to say otherwise. Teaching yourself to hate or deny your id is wrong and unhealthy at best. The real damage often comes from trying to force yourself to be something you aren’t, straight. Not only do we end up hurting ourselves, we also hurt people around us.

I won’t tackle the religion angle here other than to make one point. The fundamental failure in religious interpretation is the failed assumption sexuality is a choice vs genetic. Science (and nature) has consistently shown sexuality is tied as much to our genetics as anything else. And frankly, how much gall does it take for someone who is straight to try and tell someone who is gay its a choice?  So because you (as a straight person) can’t identify with being gay, it must be a choice? Oh yeah Watson, brilliant deduction skills there. /sarcasm.

Back to the topic. Ultimately, you have to do what you think is right for you. I would argue you will spend more amounts of time more trying to hide it than you ever would dealing with the issues that come up over being honest. Hiding behind fear is not the answer. To borrow a phrase, “fear is the mind-killer”. It will cripple you and potentially do irreparable harm to your mental/physical well-being. IMHO, you cannot deny such a fundamental tenant of your existence. To do so only works for so long. Eventually the id finds a way to express itself, be it emotional or physical. Oh and don’t think for a moment living a ‘straight’ life with discreet encounters on the side makes you any more straight. You are only deluding yourself. Chances are high, your family, friends, coworkers, etc probably already know or suspect.  Humans have innate senses and often put things together whether it be on a conscious level or not.

I have a firm belief the driving force in society changing peoples minds is each of us living openly and honest.  People quickly realize we aren’t that much different when you get right down to it. Yeah, we enjoy same sex relationships, but otherwise we are pretty much the same. Our only ‘agenda’ is to have the same basic rights afforded everyone else under the law, free of persecution; the pursuit of life, love, and happiness. We have the same goals, ideals, hopes and dreams.

So that is my answer. Take it as you will.

References

References
1 Ironically, I later turned myself into the very same stereotype in an attempt to fit in.
2 Not to mention, the very thought of sex with a woman totally grossed me out. lol
3 Not everyone ranks as polar opposites, totally straight or gay. It may take you some time to figure this part out.

Still Kicking

Yeah, I’m still here I’ve just been a little busy lately and haven’t had much time to update da ole blog.  Let’s see, what have you missed?

I went down to LA over pride weekend to see the boy. I figured I’ve done pride every year for the last 7, I can miss one. Anyway, I had a very good time, to say the least. heehee I also took the opportunity to visit Universal Studios while I was there. I wasn’t overly impressed. Total tourist trap. To be fair, I didn’t visit the theme park area. That would have been more fun, I’m sure. The rest was just overpriced restaurants and trendy clothing/trinket shops. I can get that here. I did like the extra deep seats at the movie theater though. [1]I went to see the new Transformers. I liked it!

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The whole Michael Jackson hysteria has me disgusted. Forgetting how it has completely obliterated coverage of any real news, I’m always amazed how selective people’s memory can be. I wonder how adoring anyone would be had it been their child he molested? And please spare me the “he is innocent” speech. I was a huge fan up until the trials. Anyone who watched with more than a passing interest came away feeling his was guilty. And just try and explain to me how an innocent man accused of such a heinous crime(s) forks over $23 million to “settle” his good name. [2]And that was a different case. I wonder how many never made the papers? Yeah right!  And while I’m on my holier-than-thou horse, since when is musical talent carte blanche for a celebrity to commit crimes? I don’t have a problem w/people remembering him but lets try to keep to the truth vs fantasy. I find the similarities between the OJ & MJ trials amusing. OJ was also acquitted but everyone pointed believes he is guilty. Why is Michael Jackson any different? Is it because we dont’ want to believe? Or because our fragile egos can’t deal with the reality that popular celebrities are fallible human beings just like the rest of us.  /rant

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Work has been somewhat better as of late but still crazy busy. I’m referring to my Union duties of course. Regular work ebbs and flows constantly which is part of the reason I probably enjoy it so much. I mentioned a while back we saved our immediate jobs but there is still plenty of work to be done to make sure they stay secure. Not to mention, I still have my hands full w/daily complaints, representations, grievances, etc.  Busy busy busy.

On a side note, Thursday (my Friday) we got a misrouted VOIP call from my best friend from Houston’s hometown in Oklahoma. His hometown is only slightly larger than mine so one does not forget such things. I didn’t handle the call but it was pretty serious and it took some time just for us to track down the correct agency contact information. Contrary to belief, all PSAPs are not constantly connected.

Oh, and I am going back to 5-8’s mid month with Sat/Sun’s off. I’ll admit I was a little tempted to stay on a 4-10 shift this time. While I still struggle with my tight schedule, I’ve adjusted much better than last time. That said, my particular slot was taken so I opted to go back. I’m looking forward to longer mornings again so I can go back to longer workouts.

Speaking of working out, I’ve taken a couple weeks off from the gym, other than cardio. I strained my elbow tendon a while back and its been getting progressively worse. I need to give it some rest before I do serious damage and have to go thru some of the drama my buddy Rob did. He had to take over 6 months off from the gym. I have no desire to do that to myself by being hard-headed.

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The new roomie is completely moved in now. He seems to be adjusting well and so far its been great having him around. Even better, he paid rent w/o having to be asked! I know, shocker right? The old roomie and I still stay in touch. We were friends before being roomies and that will continue. He seems intent on staying in NYC even though he still hasn’t found work yet. I wish him luck even if I do still miss his drama at times.

I could go on and on but TiVo is calling and I’m still 4 levels away from beating the latest version of Prince of Persia on the Xbox 360. Yes, I’m still a geek. Oh, and I have some drama about the latest moto ride to share when I have more time.

References

References
1 I went to see the new Transformers. I liked it!
2 And that was a different case. I wonder how many never made the papers?