Category: me

Teef’es

I’ve finally decided to move forward with the teeth work I’ve been putting off for years. Structurally, they are all fine but cosmetically they need some work. lol I’ve been putting it off and putting it off and I figure it is time to bite the bullet. (pun intended)

Due to some traumatic injuries playing football in high school, I’ve had a slightly crooked grill since. Nothing major or gross but still crooked. On top of that, I want to get veneers for the front grill to make’em all nice and ‘purdy.

I’ve been putting off braces for obvious reasons ie I hate going to the dentist. lol It also happens to interfere with certain skills. [1]You laugh but I ain’t joking. I can’t go 18 months w/o. lolol  Now, thanks to modern technology and lower prices, I can go with invisilign so as not to cause problems. Once that is done I’ll work on the veneers.

The one hitch in the whole process is one of my top two front teeth. The tooth actually came completely out in the above mentioned injury. Knowing it was my permanent tooth, I promptly shoved it back in in the hopes it would grow back. As luck would have it, it did. Unfortunately, after a root canal, the tooth died inside. It is structurally sound but if I start moving it around, it may come out. I’ll see what the Orhto doc recommends but I’m prepared to move into a replacement if he deems it necessary. I can’t even whiten my teeth too far right now because of this same tooth. Being dark on the inside, if I whiten my teeth too much the lone tooth would stand out like a sore thumb. lol

Anyway, I plan on getting a referral for an Ortho doc at my yearly cleaning in a couple weeks. I’m nervous as all hell about it but it is time. I’m 42 this next year and while not an overly vain creature, I’d like to have my teeth look nice. My insurance will cover the braces but the cosmetic work will be all out of pocket. I figure I can put in some overtime to cover it.

If anyone has had veneers done, I’d appreciate your feedback!

References

References
↑1 You laugh but I ain’t joking. I can’t go 18 months w/o. lolol

Swim

I (re)joined 24-hour Fitness last week as a secondary gym. I say secondary because I am still at Fitness SF. [1]The artist formerly known as Gold’s gym lol I love the large selection of free-weights at FSF so I’d be hard pressed to ever ditch them. 24-hour has free-weights but their gyms rarely have a decent selection. They are often chock full of cybex and ISO equipment. All good machines, I just like having free-weights.  Anyway, I’ve been missing having access to a jacuzzi or pool.  My old high-rise complex I used to live in had both and I got spoiled. It is pretty much the only thing I miss about living over there. Several of the 24-hour’s here have both so I decided to join up. My finances are a bit better now so I figured I could eat the extra $30 a month for a 2nd gym membership. I’m not under contract or anything so I can cancel anytime if I get bored or stop using it.

OMG, can I just tell you how great it felt to be in a pool again! [2]The ocean here is pretty cold year-round so unless you are extremely dedicated to swimming, most folks avoid the water.  I used to swim a lot when I lived in TX. I’d forgotten how much I loved it. (And how much of a cardio workout it can be) I also discovered how weak I was in my shoulders. Oy!  I guess that’s a given considering I’ve been thru 2 shoulder injuries in the last 10 years. I didn’t have any range of motion issues, which is good, but the skill has definitely atrophied. I could only do a full lap before I had to stop and rest. lol Needless to say, I’ll be getting back into the habit again. The upside is I can now skip cardio on the treadmills and go jump in the pool! Yay! lol

Since the gym is open 24 hours my schedule won’t be a problem either. lol I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner! My only complaint is the two closet to me are tiny. The Castro one is basically a closet. It was one of the reasons I switched after I moved to SF. The Noe Valley one is small as well. Neither of those have a pool or jacuzzi anyway. The one by my work has a jacuzzi and  the Potrero Center one, which is blocks from FSF Brannan location, has a jacuzzi and pool. Considering all 4 are within 2 miles of my house, I can’t really complain.

References

References
↑1 The artist formerly known as Gold’s gym lol
↑2 The ocean here is pretty cold year-round so unless you are extremely dedicated to swimming, most folks avoid the water.

Lost

Like a ‘tard, I lost my wallet the other day. Actually, I lost and then found it the next day. By then it was too late as I’d already canceled all my cards.

My buddy Nikitas and I were having a late lunch at Sliberbar, the new restaurant that opened up where Bagdad used to be. I ended up leaving my wallet on the table. We walk out and run into some friends and we spend about 15 minutes chatting before I realize it’s gone. I run back over and look under the table, no luck. I asked our waitress, no luck. I asked for the manager in case someone else had turned it in, no luck. I was so irritated at myself for doing something so colossally stupid. 

Facing the reality it was really gone, I promptly called and canceled all my credit cards. This was the Sunday of the Castro St Fair so I am thinking the worst. Even worse, I immediately blamed this sketchy couple that had been sitting next to us. They came in not long before left and were gone when I came back in. Of course, I assumed they did it.

Fast forward, to the next day. I go by the restaurant again just on a hunch. Sure enough they had my wallet, minus the $20 or so in cash that had been in it. I didn’t’ care about the cash as much as getting my id and miscellaneous cards back. The credit cards were worthless plastic at this point but I still had my zip card, clipper card, work id, laundry card, etc. I would have spent a lot more replacing said cards. I then felt like an ass for incorrectly assuming the couple took it. [1]Of course, I don’t really know if they did  or didn’t.  I judged them based on appearance which I should not have done.  And to make matters even more annoying, it was Columbus day, [2]aka Indigenous people’s day in California which meant all the banks were closed. Oh yes, when I fuck up, I do it right! lol

My credit union doesn’t do temporary cards so I’m in a holding pattern until the new debit card arrives. Not to mention, all of the accounts I had tied to the card that will have to be updated. Lord what a mess. I almost never carry cash on me so everything is tied to my debit card. Don’t even get me started on the several trips back and forth to the bank for cash to cover daily expenses. Naturally, this all occurred while I was on my stay-cation. Needles to say, this put a damper on all the little things I planned to get done.

I know this is a #firstworldproblem and am trying to keep things in perspective. But cheese & crust, what a fucking mess. *kicking myself*

References

References
↑1 Of course, I don’t really know if they did  or didn’t.
↑2 aka Indigenous people’s day in California

Nude

The latest drama to roll SF is an upcoming proposal by one of the Board of Sups, Scott Weiner, [1]Yes, his real name and yes I know. to ban nudity in public places. While he did include a caveat that excludes fairs and events, it still would ban all forms of nudity in public. Not even your buttocks could be exposed under the new proposal. This is a tad more extreme than even some conservative cities. I’m sure some reading this would be very surprised that nudity, in any form, is allowed in public. While there are several ordinances on the books about lewd behavior, SF currently has no specific ordinance against nudity in general. And many of us here realize nudity is not something to be ashamed of…within reason. And therein lies my rant today.  

Anyone that knows me knows I am no stranger to nudity, sex, or even a little voyeurism. [2]Some of you reading can probably speak first-hand. *ahem* anyway… But from my perspective, it’s not so much about the nudity but respect. It is plain disrespectful and rude to parade around in a busy residential & business district butt-naked. And your desire to be naked does not trump everyone else’s desire not to see it. It is not shameful to want to avoid it while you are going about your daily routine and/or business. And we aren’t talking about the beaches or even the parks. We are talking right out in the public plazas. I don’t find it disgusting or offensive but I do find it rude and disrespectful. I am rarely a fan of legislating behavior,  but what’s left to do? They have pushed the envelope to the point where no one wants it anymore.  

In my opinion, no one seems to understand what balance means anymore. It’s “my way or the highway.” We have plenty of spaces, places, and events here that allow, condone, and even support nudity. We clearly have room and place to express ourselves. We do not have to grind it into everyone’s face to get our jollies. Even worse, the so-called nudists have taken to wearing cockrings now and trying to claim it’s ‘jewelry.’  Bullshit. 

Of course, you should hear some of the hang-wringing and stuff being said on both sides of the argument. Everything from the completely logical to the utterly made-up and insane. Some of the comments were so ludicrous as to be hilarious. And I’m sure there are many who do argue against it out of a misguided sense of shame, religion, or not being comfortable with their own bodies. Even in SF, you have the fundies but that isn’t the point.

Then there was the  ‘the republicans are taking over’ and of course, ‘what about the children’ argument. Whatever that means. Children have no idea anything is wrong until you act like it so spare me on that front. If we are going to argue against it rationally, then the reasons should be based on reason, not stupid shams used over and over again. Then on the other side you have ludicrous statements claiming it’s a hate crime or discrimination. This is where they lost my support completely. It is not hate, shame, or discrimination to expect a minimum level of decency in busy public spaces. Asking you to cover your bare genitals is not a hate crime and to claim it is demeans and marginalizes the victims of such very real crimes.

Anyway, I hate to say it but it’s their own fault. Most of the so-called nudists are the same ones you see at the fairs beating their meat for a thrill. Sadly, they have probably given the few traditional nudists involved a bad name now. Having the privilege to be naked wasn’t enough they had to keep pushing it as far as they could. Well guess what? A lot of the locals have had enough and have started complaining in record numbers. And of course, the board of sups, tired of having their inboxes and voicemail blown up over it, has proposed new legislation to ban nudity.

I personally hope that the ordinance gets watered down a bit. I love SF and the freedoms that come with living in such a progressive city. But, being cited for walking from bar to bar in ass-less chaps is probably a bit overkill. And while the police have better things to do, [3]and they do! if someone called and insisted on signing a complaint, they would be bound to enforce the law. Either way, it is a sad state of affairs when we are fighting over something so stupid and childish when we have so many bigger issues at hand.

Even as gregarious and open about things as I am, I still don’t want to see it when I’m going about my day. As I said, from my point of view it is about respect for others in public spaces and balance. There is a time and place for everything and there has to be a defining line somewhere. Unfortunately, now because of abuse, that line might end up being further to the right than we would have wanted.

* 

On a slight tangent, many have argued for the old days and lamented the loss of the “freedoms” we had in the past. I’m sorry but we can’t have it both ways. We can’t argue for equality under the law and then get mad when we are held to the standards of society at large. We have emerged into the mainstream and can’t turn around. And given the choice, I’d go for equality. Being treated equal under the law and all that comes with that is far far better to me than the loss of a few freedoms. Freedoms ironically developed as a coping mechanism to a society that shunned and hated us.  

References

References
↑1 Yes, his real name and yes I know.
↑2 Some of you reading can probably speak first-hand. *ahem* anyway…
↑3 and they do!

Gone

I feel like I’m reaching a crossroads of sorts. I’ve noticed a couple coworkers who I’m pretty friendly with that are on a tear about voting for Mitt Romney. Normally, I’m pretty ok with people who vote differently that I do. It’s a free country and we all have a fundamental right to support whatever political agenda we choose.

The problem is I find that I’m less and less interested in engaging said individuals knowing they are for Romney. My feelings toward them have gone from good to bad. I’m disappointed obviously, but even more so, I’m actually a little hurt. This is not a Democrat vs Republican issue, it’s an issue of fairness and equality. They’re supporting someone who claims to want to make my very existence a crime.

I understand part of it stems from indifference. My issues really aren’t their issues. They aren’t gay so the fight for equality is not high on their radar. I get it. But what really makes it a kick in the teeth is when you delve past the surface they clearly are ignorant of the facts and just seem to be repeating a lot of the completely false rhetoric being spread by the whole repug talking heads! It would be different if we just disagreed on how to reach a goal but it isn’t. I’m fighting for my right to be treated equally under the law and you’re pissed because you might end up paying a few extra taxes.

Working for a City gov, politics at work is completely off limits. We don’t hang out socially so I guess maybe I might be worried over nothing. Clearly, we aren’t that close so maybe I shouldn’t care that I’m moving further away from a friendship with them. I wish I could look beyond it but as hard as I try I can’t. I can’t be friends with someone who can’t support my right to exist and be who I am. Ignorance and/or indifference is not an excuse. The repugs make no secret about their plans so you know damn well what their planning if they win.

I realize they can choose to vote for whomever they wish, but I can also choose not to associate with someone who supports a fake liar who wants to make my existence a crime. Maybe I should be the bigger person and overlook it but I can’t. It’s hard to overlook a choice that affects the legality of my existence based on a genetic predisposition.

*sigh*

Cheesy

I got several emails after my last rant. Every one from lurkers [1]guys who read my blog but never post publicly. An affectionate term btw basically stating they were like the guy I referred to.

For the record, I wasn’t saying his problems were trivial or not valid. I was commenting on his forever whining while doing nothing about it. That was my point. We all go thru rough times but perpetually whining while doing nothing accomplishes just that, nothing. And while I did get frustrated, I do understand his dilemma. But whining solves nothing IMO.

Here are just a few of the excuses I got in the reply emails:

I’d go to the gym more but I’m so intimidated by the guys (and or equipment).
You’ll never get over the intimidation factor if you never go. And you’ll never get used to the weights/machines functions/names unless you go. This seems like easy logic but our fear gets in the way. So what is the answer here? GO TO THE GYM. Step outside the comfort bubble and do it. What is the worst that can happen? As for the equipment, we live in an age of technology. Write down or even snap a pic of the machines you don’t know about and google them later. You can also ask for a free personal training session. Most gyms offer it when you join. If nothing else, just tinker with the machine till you get hang of it. No one will think less of you. And honestly, it happens every day in every gym. The only other advice I can give you here is worry less about what everyone else is thinking and focus more on your workout. Slow and steady is the key. Of course, If you don’t like gyms and you’re worried about fitness, find a sport or activity that gets you moving and gets you active. The list is long and varied, pick one. Besides the shallow benefit of looking better, exercise is a proven way to improve your health and mood. You’ll live better for it. Every month I’m reading new studies on the benefits of exercise.

I’m just not as attractive as a lot of the gay guys. I don’t fit in.
I hate to say it, “get in line!” Seriously, so you’re not the hottie on the block. Welcome to the majority. Frankly, this is a bigger issue than I’m willing to delve into here I will say this though, having been this way for many years it really boils down to overcoming a personal insecurity. And I can promise you the grass ain’t always greener on the other side of the fence. I pinky swear! lol Focus on you and making improvements you care about for yourself. Forget the idea of what you think you should live up to. On a side note, you’d be surprised how many guys care more about your confidence than your looks. And being attractive on the outside means nothing if you’re ugly on the inside.

I’m not into the gay scene.
This one tends to infuriate me a bit and I see it as a cop out. First of all, the term is very subjective. Ask 10 people and you’ll get 10 different answers as to what the scene is. Again, quit spending time worrying about how you don’t fit in and just be yourself. I don’t see myself as belonging to one sub-group or definition. I can accept labels w/o letting them define me. And on a side note, living openly does not equate living a stereotype. Nor does living in a gay area equate being consumed by being gay, unless you want it to. Try to find a healthy balance. I can guarantee you there are tons of guys just like you that aren’t into the scene, whatever your version of that is.

There are no gay guys where I live.
This can be a tough one. The simplest answer is move. Granted, not always an easy or available option but if you aren’t really tied down, go somewhere better. I bounced around a lot when I was younger looking for a good fit. It was easy because I didn’t have much in the way of roots. That is not always the case for a lot of guys. The point is if you aren’t happy where you are, maybe a move is in your future? If a move is out of the question, you could travel. Again, I realize not always easy but if you can, do it. Go places where you know there is a large gay community. At the very least, travel to the closet big city? [2]If you grew up in the sticks like I did. Network online, find guys into things you’re into. There are a plethora of clubs, clans, groups, etc out there. You’re bound to find one or more that you’re into. It may not be an every weekend occurrence but if your options are limited, you work with what ya got.

I hear the above ones time and time again. Regardless of what you do, nothing will come of just whining, except more pain, regret, misery, and despair. For you few long term readers, you know my childhood and early life was far from rosy. I chose to try and better myself. Sometimes that meant putting myself out there with a potential to get hurt. And sometimes I did get hurt. But, the hurt only makes the good that much better when you do find it. And as I said before, nothing in life worth having or doing is easy.

I wish you the very best. 🙂

References

References
↑1 guys who read my blog but never post publicly. An affectionate term btw
↑2 If you grew up in the sticks like I did.

Wine & Cheese

I lost my temper with an acquaintance the other day. Actually, it wasn’t so much losing my temper as just tired of his perpetual whining. He is a friend of a friend who came out about 10 years ago in his late 30’s. And apparently, because life wasn’t rosy and perfect afterwards, he is resentful. He blames being gay for all the woes in his life. Every time he ends up hanging out with my friend and I he is constantly whining.

After hearing him bash the gays yet again for the ump-teenth time, I’d finally had enough. I asked him point blank, “would you like some cheese with that wine?” Our mutual friend was like, “Moby, just let it go.” But I wasn’t about to let it go..not again. This guy has a good life and yet finds no joy in it. He’s better off than plenty of others and yet can only see what he doesn’t have. In no uncertain terms I gave him the hard truth. He’s overweight because he eats fast food every day and only hits the gym about once or twice a week, if then. He laments how superficial the gays are while being fixated on the very thing he complains to hate. He’s single and constantly complaining about how there are ‘no good men‘ left in the world. Maybe if you tried being a better man that might change? He complains about not meeting anyone yet spends most of his time at home. And when he does go out, it’s usually to a bar where he spends more time complaining. I asked him, “would you date you?” You have a good job, friends/family who care about you, a roof over your head, and yet you still find no happiness in life. All you see is what you don’t have. When was the last time you did anything outside your comfort zone? When was the last time you volunteered? played a sport? or anything else you find joy in? (He didn’t have an answer) Our mutual friend at this point has sort of just turned to look at him with a look of ‘well?‘ I finished with, ‘Instead of spending all your time on grindr and scruff wining because the guys you chase aren’t interested, get out and do something with your life.‘ [1]He spends hours and hours online cruising

I’m sure he’ll just add me to the list of ‘people who just don’t understand‘ and that is perfectly fine. I told him we wouldn’t be hanging out again because I didn’t care for his shitty attitude anyway. I probably shouldn’t have been so rough on him but I was just so tired of hearing it. So your life ain’t perfect? Welcome to the club. So life can be shallow and puerile at times, welcome to reality. It is one thing to complain at times, we all do it, but to only focus on what you don’t have and the shortcomings of the world is a sure path to misery. The world is what you make it, not what you wish it to be. Don’t complain and then do nothing about it. If you aren’t willing to do anything to change, then it obviously isn’t that important to you in the first place. I’ve most certainly been there so I can speak with some experience.

/rant

References

References
↑1 He spends hours and hours online cruising

Growing

Someone asked me the other day what it was like growing up gay. They were specifically asking about what it was like for me before I came out. [1]This is also prior to finding my first love in high-school, the resulting drama and his eventual death.

The biggest frustration was the isolation. I felt so alone in the world. I didn’t have anyone to confide in, ask questions, and there was no such thing as the internet back then. It is no easy thing to keep something so fundamentally important locked inside of you at all times. Even before I knew what I was, I had learned that being different was bad and made one a target. And while I may not have known why, I most definitely knew I was different.

In the beginning, it wasn’t so bad as I had so much other drama in my life it was really hard to focus on it for any stretch of time. Having no real exposure to what gay people were like, all I knew were the stereotypes. I didn’t see a correlation between the idea of being gay and myself so it never really crossed my mind. . .at first. Having no frame of reference to explain it, I literally felt like I was the only person alive that was this way. This did make the isolation worse, especially as I got older. Even being extroverted as I was, I still didn’t make friends very easily in school. I grew up in a very small town so I knew everyone but knowing doesn’t equate friendship. And living in the middle of nowhere, having neighbors was as foreign to me as watching ‘Leave It To Beaver.’ My closest neighbor, either direction, was at least 3 miles of nothing but piney woods. And even if they had been closer, neither had children. So at the end of the day, I was pretty much alone with my feelings and confusion.

I first began to get an inkling there was something different, I mean really different, right before puberty. Deep down I’d always felt a little out of sync as long as I could remember, but as I aged things really started going wonky. I’d always had a fascination for naked guys. I would get a funny feeling seeing a naked guy. It was like butterflies bouncing around in my stomach. It wasn’t quite lust, that came later. I’m wondering if it was just attraction? I wonder if it was possible to be attracted to someone w/o first having a sense of sexual relations? I dunno, all I know is I felt very different.

It all started after my mom died and my dad remarried. I’d never felt attracted to family members that I grew up with. It just never occurred to me to look at them that way. [2]I guess that blows the myth of rednecks being all inbred out of the water! lolol Two of my new step-uncles were very attractive and very masculine. Having never known my new uncles, I began to discover odd feelings when they were around. The hairier one practically dripped with masculinity. The first time I saw him naked I got a very new sensation in my stomach. It wasn’t so much butterflies, but more a sense floating on air. lol I know that sounds weird but it is the best way I can describe it. He would often come visit to go hunting. Naturally, opportunities for him to be naked would present themselves. We were all guys and no one thought anything of it. I knew enough to never stare or be obvious but I didn’t quite understand why. lol Honestly, it was very perplexing.

As I aged and puberty begin to hit, it really begin to dawn on me that I might be gay. I say might because again I couldn’t relate to the stereotypes so I didn’t really think I could be gay. I honestly thought I was straight but got off on seeing guys naked. Anyway, I now discovered that seeing my step-uncles naked brought a new sensation…lust! lolol It was actually these sensations that jump-started my puberty and foraging into self-manipulation. Then I discovered a stack of my dad’s hustler magazines! OMG! I would sneak them every chance I got. But the funny thing was, I wasn’t looking at the women. I was totally fixated on the guys. The different types of guys, different body sizes, different “anatomy” sizes, it was completely fixating!

This is when the real frustration and isolation began. I had no one to talk to. No one who could explain why I felt this way. Knowing what I heard about “faggots” I knew damn well not to bring it up to my family/friends. I would plead with God at times to “take this away from me,” I would bargain about being good if only these strong and unrelenting feelings would go away. I tried to get excited looking at women or dreaming of women. Sadly, it never worked. If anything it revolted me.

When I was at school, even though kids would sometimes call me fag or queer, I didn’t really resonate with it. Children can be incredibly cruel at times. Having grown up with my parents making me dress differently, I was already used to being an easy target for name-calling. The names themselves didn’t really matter. Being skinny, almost frail, didn’t help none either.

On one hand, I was very aware of my sexuality but on the other, I was completely in the dark. I guess I hadn’t really learned how to reason or reconcile more advanced issues so it took a wall for me to really believe I was actually gay.

References

References
↑1 This is also prior to finding my first love in high-school, the resulting drama and his eventual death.
↑2 I guess that blows the myth of rednecks being all inbred out of the water! lolol

Advice

I have a friend who has been in military service for over two decades. He and I met when I was still in my early 20’s and ended up becoming friends. While we don’t talk often, we do catch up from time to time. John (not his real name, duh) has always depended on me to give him honest advice, even if it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. It is and has been a strong tenant of our enduring friendship. He knows he can’t bullshit me but he also knows he can be perfectly frank w/o fear of judgment. He often confides in me with details he doesn’t really feel he can share with anyone else.

Being in the military creates a set of challenges for keeping ones work and sexuality somewhat separate. Even now that DADT has been repealed it is not as rosy as some would have us believe. So the other day, I’m busily calling him out on some of his more bizarre, and often conflicting, standards for meeting, hooking up, and/or dating guys when he tells me I should start a sex-advice blog. I laughed so hard I almost fell off the sofa. And he was serious! While I certainly flirted with the idea of giving advice to others via my WWMD [1]What Would Moby Do? posts, I have no plans to start such a blog. I was very tickled by his enthusiasm though and told him I’d also mention it here for all of you.

I think he is just a tad bit naive and gives me more credit than I’m due. Being cooped up the in military his whole life, his views are definitely skewed. lol Lord knows if I was so good I wouldn’t be piecing my own life back together after yet another failed LTR. But of course, it is often easier to be more objective about other people’s problems than our own. I’m certainly no stranger to giving others my opinion and/or advice. Why I could write a whole book on all the advice I’ve given brettcajun over the years. [2]Advice that he routinely ignores mind you.

I do try to follow a solid rule when it comes to giving (or accepting) advice. That is I am hearing said person’s version of events. Their version may not always be the whole truth or even the truth at all. So giving/accepting advice should always be under the proviso that it is based only on the situation as presented. If you are accepting advice based on a limited version of the whole picture, you are asking for more drama IMHO.

The flip side is realizing when we are close to a problem. We all have a tendency to justify our behaviors or actions. We seek advice that coincides with our own desires or wishes. The trick is knowing how to be objective while still maintaining a fair overall view of events. Or at the very least, acknowledge our own short-comings and accept that the advice presented may not be what we hoped. Not always an easy task.

So no, I won’t be starting a sex or even relationship advice blog. I’ll certainly keep blathering away here with my .02 and life experiences so feel free to tag along and glean whatever you can from my mistakes.

🙂

References

References
↑1 What Would Moby Do?
↑2 Advice that he routinely ignores mind you.

Anniversary

It was a year ago that Apple guy and I had to put Spike down. I still miss him immensely and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him in some way. To this day, there is a hole in my life where he used to be. No matter how much I love little Cooper, I still miss Spike. Here is just a quick shot of the hundreds I have of him. He was only in my life for just under 2 years but he brought me so much joy. I still remember the first day I met him. . .

Due to timing and cost, Spike arrived in SF before Apple guy. We had decided it best to ship him cross country instead of by air to avoid not only the extra cost but also the potential health risks. As soon as the guy opened the back of the trailer and pulled his cage out, he bounded right toward me as if he knew me. He ran up to me and promptly rolled over and presented his belly to be rubbed. I of course complied and knew I’d have no reservations about him coming to live with me. I took his blankie [1]Spike had his own blanket that he loved and it came with him to ease the tension and collar and introduced him to his new home. After lots of affection and attention later, he investigated his surroundings for a bit and then decided it was nap time. This new place was his home for the rest of his life.

As time passed, he became such a huge influence in my life and brought me happiness I’d never experienced with an animal before. I never once regretted his presence or the attention he needed even after Apple guy and I split up. His death was a great loss and is still very painful for me. Having raised him from a pup, I’m sure Apple guy’s sense of loss is that much greater.

Much like Cooper, Spike was a rescue. Apple guy rescued him when he was not much younger than Cooper and gave him a life of joy and happiness. Coming to live in SF seemed to agree with Spike and he quickly settled into a life of leisure. lol He was vibrant and mobile up until the very end. His last sight in this world was of us and I can’t think of a better way to go. He was loved and he knew it.

Spike, where ever you are, you are missed and most definitely not forgotten. You brought light and joy to my life and I will always be thankful for that.

I miss you Spikey.

References

References
↑1 Spike had his own blanket that he loved and it came with him to ease the tension