Category: me

Commentors

Ok, if you’re gonna leave a somewhat relevant comment on my site but then try to sneak in a spam link, you’ll still get the hammer. Recently, some of the banned comments have been very creative. They fit the topic almost perfectly or are relevant enough to be useful but then the links are to commercial or spam sites. That is an absolute no-no and will get you banned permanently if you keep it up.

Since it is coming from various accounts, I do not assume it to be a legit mistake but to be fair, you’ve been warned.  Mmmmm-kay?

Punch

I had a few bizarre episodes lately where people thought it was ok to inappropriately touch me or expose themselves in public. *Coworkers – uh um….TMI for you, read at your peril.*

One was back over before Pride. I’d gone to a friend/coworkers pool party. Being in Martinez and there was most definitely drinking involved, I opted to take BART vs riding my motorcycle. And naturally plenty of ‘drunks’ occured. On the way home I apparently forgot about the “last car” rule on BART. [1]Shortly afer moving to SF, I discovered the last car on BART is often open to ‘shinanigans.’  Being in my somewhat inebrieated state, I’m relaxing in my exuberence when I notice the guy in the seat directly across from me touching himself. And not just a little, he was going at it.

At this point, two things are working in his favor. One, I’m obviously drunk and two, I’m obviously drunk. And I know what you’re thinking, but no, nothing untoward happened on my part. lol I did however watch in a rather unfocused fascination as he finished his manual labors, which did not take long. I promptly giggled and then rolled back over and rejoined my previous half-sleep delirum. Later I almost thought I dreamed it till I ran into him and he made some overt attempts to engage me. This episode didn’t end poorly as it was more of just an experience. Sadly, the next two did.

About a month ago. I was walking thru the hood mid day doing errands. This youngish kid comes stumbling out of Sadlands with an older girl in tow. He was sort of on my awareness but didn’t give it much thought. That is until he promptly reaches up and grabs my nipple. Then he had my complete attention as I whirled around and confronted him. The ONLY reason he didn’t get punched was because I immediately noticed his age and drunkiness. Had he been neither I think I would have actually decked him right in the nose. I was furious. That restraint; however, did not stop me from cussing his ass out and telling his rather snotty friend to shut her pie hole before I did. The part that infuriated me the most was when I realized what he was doing, I shrugged him off and he tried again! Keep in mind, this is mid day and I’m not leaving the bar with him. I’m not standing around outside cruising. I’m some random guy walking down the street with my dog doing my thing. I’ll be the first to admit I can be incredibly incorrigible and not the least bit shy. But I also know that unwanted touching is considered an assualt in all 50 states. Had I given this guy any eye contact or the remotest idea I was into him this story would have gone much differently. Having only registered him on my radar in passing and then have him brazenly try to grab me twice was not acceptable. Was I worried he’d harm me? No, of course not. I was twice his size. It was the blatant disrespect and lack of contriteness that set me off. So anyway, I think he will think twice next time before attempting to fondle a random stranger. On a funny side note, I have never seen Cooper be aggressive. And while not aggressive this day he clearly knew something was up. All the jovial antics to get attention went out of him. He made no moves or growls but his body went into a locked rigid position and he was ‘eagerly’ focused on the guy. For a dog this is a clear sign of agitation. It is very unwise to try and touch a unknown dog when it is giving off such body language. Anyway, I’m curious if he would have done anything had the situation escalated. Since he did not growl or move he didn’t get scolded but it did make me aware my lovable pup can be defensive. Something to this point, I thought impossible. Even when other dogs are aggressive, Cooper usually just shrugs it off.

The last episode was a couple weeks ago. Apparently, a local guy who’d seen my ‘social’ profiles decided it was ok to walk up and start touching me. Literally, he walks up to the side and just behind me and starts playing with my butt. And not in a ‘hey how are you‘ sort of touch either. lol And again, in the right situation and the right cues, I’d could just as easily do the same thing. But this was none of that. I’ve never seen this guy in my life. We’ve never interacted directly. Once again I confronted said person with a few choice words peppereed with a few colorful words. And his response was the real surprise. He said he thought it was ok because he’d seen me on a couple of ‘sites.’ And of course my response was, “and how the hell does that in anyway translate into you sexually assualting me in public?’ Now that I had his undivided attention he begun to realize his behavior was over the line. Short of my profile having some sort of declaration that said behavior was expected or encouraged, it is not ok and I said as much. Just because you saw me online doesn’t equate to you assaulting me in public. He was miffed and more than a little embarrassed because I was not quite in my admonishments but I think he got the picture. He also ruined the chance to make a friend because of his behavior, which from the gist of his statements indicated that was his intent.

It wasn’t that I personally felt violated or in danger from either of these guys [2]even though others might have, it was the absolute lack of respect and assuption of familiarity that upset me. I’m not a stand-offish person either. I like physical contact. But that contact needs to be appropriate and/or warranted. Any behavior that encourages it like flirting, eye contact, conversation; anything that would have shown a two way interaction and acceptance of physical contact is perfectly fine. But to assume you can touch or grab someone in a non-sexual situation is liable to get you one punched or two arrested.

The moral of the story boys and girls? Look, don’t touch until the offer to touch has been expressed. Otherwise, the outcome might not be pleasant.

References

References
↑1 Shortly afer moving to SF, I discovered the last car on BART is often open to ‘shinanigans.’
↑2 even though others might have

Pride-less

I don’t know if it is a trend or if maybe I’m just noticing it more but I have noticed a rather vocal mix of gays who are distancing themselves from this years Pride celebration. I say ‘distancing’ to basically cover the fact we are becoming just like those who hate us more and more every day. I guess we really are moving into mainstream because we’re certainly becoming less and less tolerant every day. How very normal of us. Well, if that is what it takes to be considered normal, you can keep it.

Of course you hear the usual arguments, “Those people are so over the top” or “I just don’t feel like they represent me.” Let me spell out what should be completely obvious. If I wanna wrap myself in tin foil and where a pink tutu swinging from the highest float in the parade that doesn’t negate or reduce my right to equality. You don’t have to be my best friend, be my friend, or even like me but that doesn’t mean I am any more/less deserving than you. No one’s right to equality should depend on anyone else’s personal disapproval. Conformity is not a prerequisite to equality.

From my perspective, when I hear “I just don’t identify with Pride celebrations anymore. They don’t represent who I am”, to me that is just code for saying, “Now that I have a decent amount of rights, I’m indifferent and can’t be bothered anymore.” How many straight allies would we have if they were all so indifferent? Like it or not, many of those people helped jump start our movement. It might be an inconvenient truth but it is still the truth.

The irony here is I’ve always said that the more vocal and visible don’t always represent the bulk of our community. I still say that. Let me step beyond my irritation for a moment and get to the point of my little ramble today. The gist I get from many of these rants is that they see only the people IN the parade. What about the thousands or hundreds of thousands in the audience? THEY are the true representation of our very diverse community. The parade is just the reason to sell tickets and get you out the door. [1]And yes it needs a sensational component to sell those tickets.  I would argue when you look down your nose and avoid it, you are the one doing the harm. You are denying those coming up behind us from seeing their life’s struggles reflected in your eyes. You are the one keeping the focus on the more sensational and/or seedy parts of our community. We have more rights now than we’ve ever had in this country. And we are on the cusp of truly breaking down the inequalities inflicted upon us in law. But true representation requires attendance from the varied paths within to exist. When you do not participate you remove part of that representation from the equation. And frankly, when you walk away or don’t participate you give up the right to bitch about it.

I still remember the overwhelming connection I felt at my first few Prides. It wasn’t because I identified with everyone in the parades, it was because I saw masses of people who were like me. I didn’t feel alone anymore. Those singular moments were very empowering. I would never willingly deny that to anyone coming up behind me.

Whether you celebrate Pride or not, don’t tear down those who do attend simply because you disagree with their choices or particular flair expressing themselves. While they may not be a true representation of our community, at least they show up.

References

References
↑1 And yes it needs a sensational component to sell those tickets.

Crapper

This week hit the crapper at full force. As previously mentioned, 2 1/2 weeks worth of work got summarily wiped out on Monday. Tuesday I got the bad news it could not be recovered. Cooper bashed his eye into an Agave plant and almost blinded himself. A douche bag on FB sent me a message whining about my motivational gym check-ins. Surprisingly, after my very public reply he no longer follows me. Tsk, tsk. And the last two days have been completely unproductive from either hardware or software problems. I was tired of “If this or If that” logic statements anyway.

But all is not lost. On the flip side, one of my moons must be in the right “house” this month because I’ve been getting a lot of attention. Happily, that part of my life has been busy and a welcome distraction. Between the gym and my other exertions is it any wonder I dropped another belt notch? [1]Ok, I’m showing off a little.  It has gone along way toward preventing me from telling our developer exactly how far up his anatomy I wanted to shove my foot.

I’m glad it is Friday and am actually considering libations of the alcoholic persuasion tonight, after the gym of course. I didn’t go down two belt-notches to blow it on booze belly.

I had planned to go see Superman with the SF Movie Bears this next Wednesday. Sadly, schedule conflicts have ruined that as well. I’ll have to try and sell off my ticket. I’ll probably end up going this weekend instead. I am not a big fan of remakes of remakes of remakes but the previews looked really good. We shall see.

Cooper appears to be fine. His eye is still bothering him but it’s already healing and there doesn’t seem to be any damage to the eyeball. As mentioned, said plant will receive a “makeover” this weekend.

Ok, that’s all my bitchin for now. Happy weekend hookahs.

References

References
↑1 Ok, I’m showing off a little.

Eye

So Cooper being his normal silly self ran into the thorns on the enormous agave plant in our backyard tonight.  The moment he finishes his business he loves to bolt and run all the way to the top of the back stairs. Tonight as he bolted, he hit the plant. He didn’t yelp but I could tell something was wrong as he stopped mid gait and bent down low for a second. He then proceeded to run like normal.

I cleaned the wound and thoroughly examined his eye. Not only did he cut his eyelid he managed to actually nick his eyeball. There is a slight scratch on the lens. Now that I’ve had a few minutes to stop freaking out, he seems ok. While you can see a tiny scratch, he doesn’t seem to have actually done any real damage to his eye. There’s no leakage or deformation…thankfully.

I was almost in tears hugging him with relief. God help me if something ever happens to him I’m gonna be a total mess. Anyway, I’m gonna let him sleep it off and see how he looks in the morning. He’s gonna get a rare treat and sleep with daddy tonight. If anything looks worse in the morning, we’ll be off to the vet. He doesn’t seem to be in any discomfort at all so I’m breathing a cautious sigh of relief.

The plant will receive a thorough butchering this weekend. I’d just as soon rip it out but it ain’t mine. I can guarantee it’s leaves will never droop low enough to ever hurt Cooper again though.

Project

I was all set to write about how fabulous the work was going on my project until yesterday. I lost 2 1/2 weeks of data that was very tedious, involved, and complex to get into the system. To say I was upset would be putting it mildly. Once I figured out what went wrong and why I was so incredibly furious I had to leave work. Seriously, it was that or start cussing people out. And since I value my job, I took off early.

I’m using an add-on software that communicates with the primary software on the server. Well it is supposed to. Apparently, there was a domain resolution conflict between the server access and my terminal access. One side was set direct w/no need to access DNS resolution. One side was set to depend on DNS resolution. Of course, at the time I am unaware of any of this. Since I don’t control installations, it’s not really something I’d be expected to know.

After we push to production, I notice data is missing. I reload the add-on software and the work I spent so much time entering is gone. Two hours later it’s obvious the data is unrecoverable. I revert to my backup to recover the lost data. And here is where stupidity rears it’s ugly head. I load my backup and it’s basically empty. After some intensive research and more than a little frustration, I discover the flaw. Apparently, the software decided to ignore my direct saves to my backup folder and save internally to a cached file. And here is where it really gets juicy. The moment I opened my backup copy it overwrites the internal cache wiping my work. No notice, no pop up, nothing. It just overwrites the cache. To say this is a stupid bug in the software would be an understatement. I pulled up the journal entry and sure enough it just re-saved to the same file twice every day. The first save was the default save and when I used ‘save as’ and pathed out my backup folder, it just overwrote the internal cache file. Utterly stupid.

So yeah, 2 1/2 weeks of work down the tubes. And while I’m sure the bug will get fixed, that does nothing for me now. There is no ‘undo’ function and since the data never made it to the server database, it can’t be pulled back. At least this time around, I know the material better and will have to do less trial and error. I mean building calls to restricted confidential databases requires a lot of specialty message keys. I kept great notes as well so the rebuild won’t take as long but will be just as tedious. I’ve also created a sync call for the cache copies of said files to avoid this painful bug in the future.

On a good note, I was so angry I had a killer workout at the gym. lol I baked my chest and triceps to the point of almost not being able to put my shirt on afterwards.

 

Priority

I ran into a casual friend the other day and he got upset with me because I wouldn’t ditch the gym to go drink with him. I don’t mean just disappointed but actually upset, storming away in a huff upset.

First, we know each other from around town. We are friends on a couple social sites but we don’t engage that often. We just tend to travel on different paths. We have had a couple decent talks and they’re always cordial. Most of our interactions are often by happenstance so I was kinda surprised that he would get upset. He has never reached out to me directly to build a stronger connection. [1]And to be fair the same is true of me.  So to suddenly get upset when I wouldn’t just ditch my plans to go drinking was a surprise to me.

After a rather short but odd conversation, he proceeded to tell me, “I do not think we should really be friends anymore. You obviously care more about being narcassitic and shallow than actually being a friend.”  Yes, that bitch actually said that to me!  He then proceeded to storm away in a huff and promptly remove me from his friend lists. I guess he thought he was teaching me a lesson. All I have to say to his behavior is “squish-squish darling, squish-squish.” [2]A reference to AbFab where Adina fakes crying for Saphie”  Seriously. lol I mean it would have been different if you were a good friend that I rarely see or someone who changed their plans to spend time with me, etc. This wasn’t any of that. We ran into each other on the street, he asked me to go drink, I politely declined because I was headed to the gym, and suddenly I’m a shallow uncaring friend? In what alternate reality?

For someone who was so butt-hurt at my unavailability, he obviously doesn’t read le blog or any of my social updates. Clearly, you weren’t THAT into me if you haven’t taken any time to read up on me, of sorts. lol Maybe had he taken the time to reach out to me and actually MAKE plans we could have gone drinking. I certainly enjoy an occassional trip to liquor-ville. If my friendship was so important then he would have made more of an effort. He would have made it a priority. Then I could have at least understood the dramatics. 

I don’t believe it was ever about the gym. It was about the inferred insult he assumed when I wouldn’t drop everything on a a whim to spend time with him. He either felt like I should be honored he offered or he was just insecure. Either way, not my drama, not my problem. And had he not flown off the handle I would have offered to schedule a raincheck. Fat chance in hell that will happen now.

References

References
↑1 And to be fair the same is true of me.
↑2 A reference to AbFab where Adina fakes crying for Saphie”

Weight

Playing with the title from my last post. So, I’m back up to 198lbs. And since I’m now down TWO belt-notch on my britches, I’m assuming the weight gain is muscle vs fat. hehehe  Last Friday, I inadvertently grabbed a pair of jeans I hadn’t worn in awhile. And by awhile, I mean I haven’t worn them in over 3 years because my fat-ass wouldn’t fit. Imagine my surprise to discover later in the day they were my skinny jeans! Needless to say, it made my Friday. I’m still a few pounds away from dropping comfortably into a new pant size. One, I like my pants to fit comfy, not super tight and two, wearing tight pants can lead to a false muffin-top. And we can’t have that!

I’m still battling my little belly pooch though. That fucker is holding on for dear life. I have reached a point where the weight loss just from eating better has stopped. I guess I’m really gonna have to do some sort of cardio if I really wanna get any leaner. And speaking of cardio, I dusted off my pair of rollerblades the other day. The skates are practically brand new. I bought’em right after I moved to SF and then promptly stopped using them. Yes, I know it’s probably not cool anymore but when did I ever care about that? Skating is an excellent full body and cardio workout and I love doing it. Before moving to SF, I’d spend an entire afternoon skating. Anyway, I did a pretty decent job remembering the skill but need some practice.  Cooper apparently loves my skates! He chased me up/down the street several times before he finally got tuckered out. I’m beginning to think I may have to actually invest in a skateboard for him. There are plenty of spaces here where I can take him and not worry about his safety. Hell, the MUNI yard in south of Market is just one big ole empty parking lot during the day. And they recently repaved so it is super smooth.

I switched to a new routine at the gym with mostly super-sets. OMG, I left the gym this week feeling like my chest was truly baked! I almost never leave feeling that way on chest day. My muscles adapt pretty quickly and I always have a need to find creative ways to tax them more. The super-sets are most definitely helping. The down side is trying to do super-sets on different benches in a very busy gym. I may have to move my workouts to later to make it work. So far, it hasn’t been too difficult but I think I’ve just gotten lucky so far.

Wait

I’m getting a little irritated with the invasiveness of technology at the gym these days. More and more guys are getting buried in their phones not paying attention. I’ve reached a point now where I immediately walk up and ask a person how many sets they have left. It puts them on notice someone else is waiting on the bench. You can either choose to share or you can focus on your workout and then get off of it. I don’t mind waiting but I’m sick of seeing guys just hang out endless on a machine.

And for the Fitness SF haters, it is just as true at the 24-hour gyms. Seriously, WTF? I use my phone at the gym. I text, I surf, etc. But I’m also running a workout timer between every set. The moment my timer dings, I stop whatever I’m doing and do my effin’ set! And when I’m done, I get my ass off the bench so someone else can use it. In other words, I respect the fact I am not the only person in the gym trying to get a good workout in. And I even respect not everyone might be as dedicated or at my level of working out. I am as friendly and sharing as I can be to others. But I’m so over others not returning the favor. I’ve never been a big fan of negative peer pressure but I’m beginning to rethink that now. And the next fucker who cops an attitude after I politely ask you how many sets he has left is gonna discover just how cray-cray I can get. I have no shame and will clown the fuck out of you in front of the entire gym. We all pay dues. You don’t get to park you’re ass on a bench for 15-20 mins w/o so much as lifting a weight and then throw shade when someone asks to work in.

Maybe now that I have to go during peak times, I’m just noticing it more. Has it been this bad for awhile?

Humor

So this should put a smile on a few faces. First, I almost ran over an old lady this morning. (No that is not the funny part.) The funny part is what caused it. I’m only a few miles from work so my commute is almost entirely on neighborhood streets. I pull up to a stop sign this morning and I eyeball this total hottie walking across the street. I’m literally straining my neck to turn and watch him saunter away. I’m staring so hard I almost run over an old lady in the cross walk.

I’m totally shocked, flustered, and surprised all at the same time. I flip open my visor and ask if she is ok as I apologize profusely. I didn’t make any contact with her but I’m still freaking out over it. She is fine, she thanks me for my concern and politely tells me to may a little more attention.

As she walks away and I’m about to flip down my helmet visor, she turns and says, “he was pretty good looking though wasn’t he?“