According to the BT’s [1]Bible Thumpers, I’m going to hell so I figure I might as well deserve it. Today’s post is completely shallow in nature.
I’m wondering how many characters other folks have at their gyms. There is almost always the creepy scary guy that everyone avoids like the plague. Being in the Motherland, I seem to have a whole plethora of characters.
1) There is the token creepy guy however, I feel for him. He has lost over 100 lbs. Everyone avoids him as he is rather scary. He wears beer-bottle glasses, shuffles vs walking, and is rather unattractive. He is lacking in the social skills as well. I often go out of my way to say hello to him and give him words of encouragement. It takes a lot of effort to come as far as he has. I’ve also chastised several friends for being ugly to him.
2) Tall thin man. Think Phantasm or Poltergeist. The guy gives me the chills every time I see him. I do not feel sorry for him as he doesn’t work out much. He parks his naked self in the steam room, fondles himself, and lurks at everyone with his bulging uneven eyeballs. I could swear he mumbles "God is in his holy temple" under his breath. Spooky. *channeling Tangina* Crossover children! All are welcome!
3) The Hammer. So nicknamed because he has the biggest cock I’ve ever seen on a live person. Even soft, this monster dangles at 10-12" in length and thicker than a coke can. It truly is a sight to behold. However, it gets old very quickly as he often parks himself in the sink area daily with this behemoth dangling like a big ole hammer. No matter what time I go, he always seems to be there. He is in his 60’s. I bet he was a rockstar in the 70’s with that monster. I often wonder if he is trying to hold onto his days of glory.
4) Jesus. I shit you not this dude looks like Jesus Christ. Long hair, the facial definition, etc. lol I tried to sneak a pic today but he kept watching me. I think he sicked the Holy Ghost on me. Every time I see him I feel a little dirty.
5) The Stallion. This guy has a tattoo "The Italian Stallion" on his back. A good example of why one should give careful thought to tattoos and their placement BEFOREHAND.
6) Jabba the Hut. A rather large rotund fellow that sort of slithers about. He has one of those dangling bellies that hangs down almost to his knees. I’ve never once seen him actually work out however, he is routinely attached to a bench in the steam room like a barnacle.
7) The Rambler. An attractive fellow that storms all over the gym constantly talking on his cellphone. I often wonder if he ever finds time to actually work out.
8 ) Last but not least, Killer. This guy manhandles every piece of equipment in the gym. However, he does everything completely wrong. It boggles the mind how he has survived this long w/o killing himself. Entire sections of the gym will stop to watch him in disbelief.
That is all I can think of at the moment. I know there are more. Now that I’m going to hell, who are your favorites at your gym?
References
↑1 | Bible Thumpers |
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