Category: humor

Rapture

Have you heard? The end is coming on 5.21.11 around 6:00pm. So says some crack pot religious freak who claims to have secret insights into the christian bible. lolol  Of course, it doesn’t seem to matter that he already made one failed prediction back in the 90’s.

I’m tickled over all the spoof sites popping up everywhere. There’s the post-rapture orgy in Times Square. Then there’s the post-rapture looting Facebook page. lolol Hilarious! Oh, and have you arranged for pet care after you get raptured? Oh yeah, you forgot about that didn’t ya! lol Pets aren’t included so they’ll be left behind. I doubt the lowly sinners left behind will want to do it. You better think of something quick or feefee is gonna be up shit creek without a paddle. hehehe ok, just kidding.

I’m not worried about Spike because I’ll be left behind. Frankly, I’d never wanna be raptured with a bunch of fanatical wingnuts who care more about personal greed and hiding behind fear than actually doing the word of “their” god.

Anyway, so what are you planning for rapture day (or the day after)?

Overheard III

At the gym today, two guys talking in the showers.

 

Guy #1: So how was your night?

Guy #2: I didn’t get much sleep

Guy #1: Oh? Is that good or bad

Guy #2: Well, it was my birthday. I got a pair of socks and a piece of ass.  Both were too big.

Why Daddy?

Funny moment.

The boy asks me other day, “Daddy, why do people blog or read blogs?” He actually prefaced it with a request not to get upset. I guess he thought I might have been offended. lol He was so adorable. Anyway…

Don’t go getting irate. It was an innocent question. He has just recently started making the transition to online social/networking sites. I answered but was amused because blogging is such a pervasive part of our culture, I was surprised he honestly didn’t know.

I explained about how I got started, how it helped me, and how it has enriched my life in so many ways. He had the typical outside-looking-in look on his face but he seemed to understand. 

Give me time and I’ll convert him! heh heh

Just Overheard…

…something and had to share. And its totally something I would have said.

 

Guy #1: Are you a super picky eater dude?

Guy #2: I am a super picky eater dude.

Guy #1: I like to suck cock, how picky can I get?

 

Even better Guy #2 was Japanese with a total Southern twang. God, I love living in this City. 🙂

Overheard…

…on the way home from the gym last night.

Boy 1: I just love those blue mailboxes. They make great back-crackers.

Boy 2: I’m a pretty good back-cracker myself.

Boy 1: Yeah, but I don’t have to make the mailbox breakfast.

*slap*

Ok, I thought it was funny.

Flight

Well I arrived safely in Chicago. Actually, I’ve been here for some time. The boy is fast asleep (he is an early riser), but I couldn’t wait until the weekend was over to share this.

I typed this at 30,000 feet on my way to Chicago. The flights were very smooth with one interesting occurrence. Flying on a friend’s buddy pass, I had to hop from SF down to SD and then a connecting flight from SD to Chicago. No biggie as I’ve flown standby plenty of times and more than familiar with the process. Anyway, the first flight was short and sweet and I slept right thru it. The second flight looked to be iffy at best and I’d already assumed I wouldn’t make it. Luck seemed to be on my side though. I made the 2nd flight w/o any hiccups. It was a very full flight but I managed to keep my seat. Even better, since it was physically the same plane I’d just flown in on, I didn’t have to reboard and got to nab a much nicer seat in the exit row. [1]Exit rows always have more leg room. duh! A very sweet young girl from the OC ended up taking the lone seat next to me. She was friendly and we chatted awhile before settling into our own little realms of preoccupation, her on her mobile device playing Sudoku (spelling?) and me on my laptop.

Now here is where it gets a little interesting. Half way thru the flight, I suddenly feel a tap on my shoulder. One of the flight attendants (a very Barbie-esque woman) was telling me a “gentleman wants to buy you a drink”. I must have given here a dirty look as she repeated herself but softer. Being pulled from my distraction, I was a little perplexed but agreed not wanting to be rude. [2]Hey, I grew up in a trailer, you don’t refuse free shit, especially liquor! lol After my drink arrives I try to discover who it is that bought it for me. The stewardess said he wanted to remain anonymous. Of course, this drove me nuts. I kept turning my head around to see if I could catch someone staring or eyeballing me. There were definitely some hotties on the flight I would have been happy to make into new friends. A random woofy guy here and there, several army boys in their fatigues, and one very striking fembot. [3]a very feminine guy

Sadly, I never figured it out. None of the afore mentioned guys gave me a second glance thru the entire flight. I’m still scratching my head as to why someone would send me a drink but not want to at least be recognized. I tried to convince the flight attendant to tell me but she held fast and clearly I couldn’t get her alone on the plane to try and charm it out of her.

Oh well, I was very flattered. She did say right up front it was a guy so I can only assume he was gay. Mysterious man, if you are out there and on the off-chance read my blog, thanks for the drink bud. Nothing goes down quite as nice as free liquor!

*

I was about to add more here at the end but the boy just rolled over and something “came up”.

References

References
↑1 Exit rows always have more leg room. duh!
↑2 Hey, I grew up in a trailer, you don’t refuse free shit, especially liquor! lol
↑3 a very feminine guy