Category: humor

Jesus Christ, Superhero

I had probably the oddest frakin’ dream I’ve ever had in my entire life last night. Are you ready for this? Ok, here goes…

I dreamed I was in a oddly shaped church w/a swimming pool in back section. No, that’s not the weird part even though, my friend Trev busted out laughing as soon as those words were out of my mouth. He could tell already it was a doozy! Anyway, I kept diving into the deep end of the pool and every time I did I was possessed by Jesus Christ when I came up for air. I know weird. And before any religious folks go off the deep end w/your voodoo, read the rest of the story. (Yes, it gets worse)

While I’m possessed, I’m still the same inside but on the outside I’m all glowy and I can heal people, fix broken buildings, see the truth, etc. You know the whole “image”. Now for the record, I didn’t “feel” the presence of anyone other than myself nor did the dream have any “holiness” to it. Jesus wasn’t in me, I was just suddenly the aspect of Jesus in my dream. The dream repeats a few times where I do amazing things, blah blah blah. Then at one point, I’ve just performed some sort of miracle and I go up to the pulpit and God is there. Except God is rather buff, hairy, and wearing a toga type garment. We hug (No, I wasn’t coping a feel, it was a father/son hug however, I do remember thinking in the dream dad was buff. lol)

It was at this point that my friend interrupted the dream by waking me up. When the grogginess wore off and the sheer ludicrousness of the dream hit me, I started giggling and told Trev immediately.

I giggled all the way to the gym.

Hard Gay?

I’m fond of teasing my compadres at work and they me. Today, we were laughing about some of the reality shows on TV these days and I made a passing comment “that is so gay”. Apparently, coming from a gay man, my straight counterparts found that extremely hilarious. One of the more macho guys laughed so hard he fell off his chair. I didn’t really say it to be funny. However, it made the rounds all over the room. I guess if you are out and gay and you call something else gay, it’s uber-gay! Who knew?

And has anyone else heard of the “hard gay” guy from Japan? My counter-part, kristaki, has and finds him utterly hilarious as well. What say you?

Funny III

I almost forgot, on my way home this rather attractive drunk guy stumbled up to me at a stop light and asked ‘hey man, can I get a ride on your bike?’. My first thought was to just drive away. Then I had another. I said “I tell ya what, if you can get on the back w/o falling off, I’ll give you a ride.”

I’ll share w/you how funny it was watching his drunk ass trying to get on the back of my bike. He finally gave up and said “screw it, I’ll walk.” He was cute but way too drunk for my tastes.

I’m such a stinker.

Funny II

I’m in the Castro at Harvey’s having lunch. Enter two young very gay boys having the day of their lives.

Boy 1: “rambling about finding a man”

Boy 2: But you have such horrible taste in men.

Boy 1: I don’t have tastes, I have NEEDS missy.

I literally spit out my tea I was laughing so hard. They looked over gave me some air snaps and went on about their lives. Some days I really do love living in this city.

Home Again

I’ll be headed home to Texas in just a couple more days. My flight leaves on Monday morning bright and early. I called an old friend back in Galveston and invited him to go w/me to see my brother. I’ve known him since I was 19 and life hasn’t been too easy for him lately. It might be nice to get him out of town for awhile. He went w/me once before and really enjoyed being out in the open country.

I booked my flight a little differently this time. There was this new airline called Ebonics Airways and they were so cheap I couldn’t pass it up. *giggle* I love’s me some Shirley! (I’ll be driving right thru big Beaumont too!)

Seriously though, I’m looking forward to the trip. I’ll spend a few days in Houston visiting friends and the rest w/my brother. I can tell he is looking forward to it as well. He seems very happy that we are talking so much again. I didn’t realize how much I missed him I guess.