Category: humor

Funny III

I almost forgot, on my way home this rather attractive drunk guy stumbled up to me at a stop light and asked ‘hey man, can I get a ride on your bike?’. My first thought was to just drive away. Then I had another. I said “I tell ya what, if you can get on the back w/o falling off, I’ll give you a ride.”

I’ll share w/you how funny it was watching his drunk ass trying to get on the back of my bike. He finally gave up and said “screw it, I’ll walk.” He was cute but way too drunk for my tastes.

I’m such a stinker.

Funny II

I’m in the Castro at Harvey’s having lunch. Enter two young very gay boys having the day of their lives.

Boy 1: “rambling about finding a man”

Boy 2: But you have such horrible taste in men.

Boy 1: I don’t have tastes, I have NEEDS missy.

I literally spit out my tea I was laughing so hard. They looked over gave me some air snaps and went on about their lives. Some days I really do love living in this city.

Home Again

I’ll be headed home to Texas in just a couple more days. My flight leaves on Monday morning bright and early. I called an old friend back in Galveston and invited him to go w/me to see my brother. I’ve known him since I was 19 and life hasn’t been too easy for him lately. It might be nice to get him out of town for awhile. He went w/me once before and really enjoyed being out in the open country.

I booked my flight a little differently this time. There was this new airline called Ebonics Airways and they were so cheap I couldn’t pass it up. *giggle* I love’s me some Shirley! (I’ll be driving right thru big Beaumont too!)

Seriously though, I’m looking forward to the trip. I’ll spend a few days in Houston visiting friends and the rest w/my brother. I can tell he is looking forward to it as well. He seems very happy that we are talking so much again. I didn’t realize how much I missed him I guess.

You Wanna Stick That Where?

Well, since so many of you actually do read on weekends, I thought you’d get a kick out of this. The new roomie is all moved in. I sorta neglected to mention he has done porn in the past. I’ve known him so long I think I tend to subconsciously tune that part of his life out. *g* He is like a ‘sista’ to me so the thought of him naked isn’t exactly appealing. I’m white trash but lesbian sex is just revolting. LOLOL (j/k of course) For the record, he does have a rather manly sexy look. I wouldn’t touch him to scratch him.
🙂

On the way to do laundry today, I was cornered by one of my neighbors. A neighbor who normally maintains an aloofness during our brief interactions. Our conversation went something like this…

Neighbor: Hi Moby, How you doing?
Me: I’m doing fine

Neighbor: I noticed your new roommate moved in last night. Can I ask you something?
Me: Yeah, he is in, fire away.

(Insert look of confusion on how to phrase his next words)
Neighbor: Does your roommate do porn?
Me: Uh, yeah he has in the past, why?

Neighbor: OMG! Is he *** *****?
Me: Yeah, I think that’s right.

(very excited now)
Neighbor: Can you introduce us? I’m his biggest fan. I would be in your debt if you could arrange it.
Me: Uh…well, sure. Can I finish my laundry first?

(frown of disappointment)
Neighbor: Oh, of course. Here is my home # and my cell. Call me when you are done.
Me: Ok, well good to see you.

Neighbor: Oh yeah, good to see you too. You will call right? When you are done?
Me: Yes, I’ll give you a shout.

Lord! What have I got myself into?

Housekeeping?

So Chad Fox came over last night w/his cousin from Chi’town. Little did I know they were just trying to ‘shart’ up my furniture.

*mental note – put out furniture covers when bloggers visit*

Actually, he came by after I got off work to return my helmet. I gave Chaddie boy a ride home the other night to the bowels of Northbeach aka crackaville. Like a good little boy, I made him wear a helmet. But I had nowhere to put it afterwards so he was kind enough to drag it with him last night from bar to bar until I got off work.

And if I were anywhere remotely close to being a chickenhawk, I would have been all over his little cousin. Cute and sweet, what a combo. Fortunately, the only chicken I’m into comes from Tyson. Hell, I never liked young boys even when I was one.