Category: health

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This is the code we use at work for a stabbing victim; which is what I felt like the other day when I went down to Magnet for a routine STD test.1 I get signed in and go to the back to face the obligatory interrogation as to why I’m there. No worries, as I know all to well the burden placed on the City’s healthcare system. We make it thru the throat swab and the “bend and spread’em” swab problem free. I mean how hard is it to fuck up a swab test? Then comes the very minor, one would think, routine blood draw to test for the ugly-headed monster called syphilis. Forgetting for a moment, both of my arms are very vascular,2 the phlebotomist managed to stab completely thru a large vein. Naturally, I end up with a large hematoma afterwards. (Simply put, blood collecting under the skin) If you’ve never had one, the blood quickly dissipates however, it tends to be very unsightly and causes pain days later from the surrounding muscle tissue being irritated. So now, I look like Farrah Faucet in the ‘Burning Bed’ after she’d been thoroughly beaten by her husband. Lord, I know they don’t get paid a lot to do that job but, asking for a minute amount of competence is not pushing it in my opinion. And the real kicker was this was not the first time! It also happened on my previous pilgrimage. I wrote a stinging letter to the City Health Director as well as the Clinic Director. I guarantee you next time I go back it won’t happen again.

I called off work today. For a variety of reasons, I was not in my “happy place” and work would have been a disaster had I gone in. I did finally use the down time to get the laundry done. I don’t honestly know why I have such a mental block when it comes to laundry. I wonder if it stems from my childhood. I know, you are probably going “childhood? WTF?” Well, once when I was about 3 or 4 years old my father locked me in the dryer and turned it on for about a minute. You see, I used to climb in our dryer and hide. I had been warned countless times not to do it so I guess he thought he’d teach me a lesson. It worked too. I never ever played in the dryer again after that. No, I don’t seriously think it’s related but it is an odd coincidence don’t ya think?

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In other news, my friend Matthew, who just moved to SF, got a temp. job working for a porn company. No, not as an actor or a fluffer, he is a grunt. In regular movie terms, he’d be a grip. He is all excited and couldn’t stop talking about it today over lunch. The most pressing issue on his mind was what to wear. Bless his heart. I’m sure it sounds exciting but when you actually do it, it isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Well, from my point of view anyway. However, I am rather jaded as I live with a porn star who I have known practically all of my adult life. And lets face it, you can’t shake a stick w/o bumping into a rising star here. (pun intended) He is getting paid a fair share for his efforts so there is a positive aspect to it. And moving from Oklahoma City to SF, I can certainly understand his excitement.

1 No, I don’t have a nasty drip just past due for my routine test.
2 A misappropriation of the word referring to large veins close to the surface of the skin.

Testing 1 2 3

I had my oral interview this morning for the EMT gig. I did not do as well as I wanted but I did ok. I expected something completely different and had to radically adjust my thinking once there. Not the end of the world as it is the overall score I’m concerned with however, I could have done better. The physical agility test is this afternoon. I am not worried about it at all as I do the skills required on a very regular basis.

So now I’m home, licking my wounds and having lunch. More later.

***Update***

I made up for sucking ass on the oral interview. I fucking aced the PAT1! Not only that but I was the oldest guy in my group and I had the fastest time. hehehe. The other 3 guys were all in their 20’s. Two were very young and the other was late 20’s. All of us were in pretty good shape. I am so proud of myself! The test consisted of several components. You had to pick up and carry two 35lb bags (70lbs total) and run up 6 flights of stairs (7 floors). At the top, you dropped the bags and dragged a prone dummy 30 feet from one line to the next. After you get the all clear, you grab your two bags and head back down the stairs to the bottom. At the end, you run over and pull a loaded gurney from an ambulance, secure the legs, and then put it back in again. No biggie right? Here’s the catch. You have to do it all under 4 minutes. I had a full minute and 30 seconds to spare from beginning to end!

Admittedly, the hardest part is dragging 70lbs up six flights of stairs. I was chugging along pretty well until that last fraking stairwell between 6-7. My poor quads were screaming for release and more than a little rubbery. I had forgotten to change and wear my tennies and I’m sorta glad now. On the way down, my boots provided a lot of traction as my poor legs were barely under control. I kept saying “feets” don’t fail me now!
Continue reading Testing 1 2 3

I Got It!

I got my notice from the Fire Dept. about my test. I passed! Yeeehawwww! LOL

Next comes my PAT (physical agility test) and the oral interview. Both are scheduled for the 25th of this month. Those are the last two hurdles before I get my final placement on “the list”. The list determines where I rank in order of seniority. What does that mean? Well, if I rank 10 on the list, then I get slot 10 going down the list from 1. There are 32 slots available. If I rank 33, I end up in line for the next group of hires.1

More good news, I found out I have the option to do a waive. If I get called up in the first group, I have the option to waive off. This bumps me to the top of the list for the next group of hires. The only down side is the first group gets instant seniority above me but I’m ok with that. The EMT position pays half what I’m making now. I’ve crunched the numbers and I just can’t take that much of a hit right now. However, if I get on the list, I can work toward putting some moolah away for next time. Even better news, I found out they are definitely planning on an in-house program to promote EMT’s to Medics. That was my game plan from the start and you can imagine my relief at knowing it is a definite.

People keep asking me why I’m jumping for a job that pays half my salary. Well, I’m not planning on staying an EMT. I fully plan to become a paramedic. It is more inline with I want to do, it pays more than my current position and the retirement is hugely better. If I get on in the next 2 years, I would be able to retire, if I wanted too, anytime between 55-60 instead of waiting till I’m 65.2

I plan on using the land my dad left me as nice retirement bonus too. By the time I do retire, it will fetch a hefty price. One might say, yours truly is smart and handsome. . . naaaaaah.

1 I’m hoping this is where I end up actually.
2 That is if Bush doesn’t completely bankrupt the damn country.

Stick a Fork In Me…

…I’m Done!

I finally took my test today! I showed up again today and it was busy as hell this time. Apparently, they took 500 applications not 400. But no pressure, right? The test was hard but I did about how I expected. Best case scenario, I got a B plus. Worst case, I got a C+ Either way, I’m happy. A big thank you to everyone for all the encouragement and good thoughts. It really helped. One of my classmates from my EMT class was there and sat next to me. Having someone I knew around made me less nervous. I was having a hard time focusing though. Sooo many fine ass men. Dayum! I can’t remember if I mentioned it but a huge chunk of the applicants are attempting to use this job as a way to get into the fire dept. as a firefighter. SF Fire has a very long waiting list for firefighters. Because of the classification differences and civil service rules, they could feasibly bypass the original list if they got in as an EMT and transferred to an open spot later. Sneaky huh?

The test had some stuff I’d never seen before. It is designed to test your working knowledge as well as your reasoning skills in unforeseen circumstances. The latter being the true test of your triage and treatment skills. I was a little intimidated at first however, I realized I have a good a chance as anyone else there.

Now that it’s over, I’m sooo relieved. My week has been a chaotic mess of studying and running around making sure I had all my ducks in a row. I get to relax and enjoy the rest of my vacation days.

Thank you again to everyone. I’m off to dinner w/the roomie.

Body by Moby II

Someone reminded me today I never posted the follow up to this post. Oopsie. I forgot. So here it is. Keep in mind, if you have medical problems, you should definitely consult w/a doctor or nutritionist before making any drastic changes to your routine.

Back in post one I covered three ways to a better body. First and most important is diet. For the purpose of this discussion, this definition works best for me.

Diet – 1) habitual nourishment and 2) a regimen of eating and drinking sparingly so as to reduce one’s weight. Notice how the word has two very distinct meanings. Sadly, most folks think dieting means starving yourself. That is the worst thing you can do to your body. And just so you know, starving yourself teaches your body more efficient ways to store fat.

Rule 1 – Eat Better
Continue reading Body by Moby II

Two More Seconds of Fame

If you live anywhere in the area you’ve heard about the breaking story of the day. Some guy goes bonkers and decides to start running over pedestrians all over the city. All told he hit over 15 people w/14 of those being transports. Of course, today was my ride-along so guess who’s crew was first onscene? Not to mention, we were code 3 half way across the city to get there. And, we had just finished dropping off a resuscitation patient.

Again, I’m not gloating over others misfortune just my good fortune to gain such valuable on the job experience. Skipping ahead the guy was finally caught and hauled off to jail. But that’s not even the best part. I got caught on film on the news! I found out via my ex. He called to tell me I was on the news. The clips are from news sites that don’t like to share their feeds so they are in asx formats. I had to be very sneaky to find’em. If you have windows media player installed it should open and play automatically.

I found two clips of the same scene edited differently. I’m about half way thru each clip. You see me once briefly in the background behind a gourney. Then again a few seconds later, you see a closer shot of me walking into the hospital. As usual, I think I look gay as hell but you decide. hehehe.

Clip 1 and Clip 2

The Buzz Continues…

I thought my week of meetings was behind me. No such luck. Mwah. My day started at 7:00am today. I did have a few breaks in between but not enough to go home or do anything fun. *sigh*

I bitch but it is all for a good cause. I have been bitching for so long about the deplorable state our comm center is in. Now, I have a chance to be directly involved in a lot of decisions that are normally made w/o any consideration for the end user. The drama and lost time is worth it.

I have a doctor appointment on Thursday to go over the results of my MRI and allergon test. The singulair seemed to help at first but now I’m not so sure. I’m really over the constant sniffing at times. (The ionizer’s for work arrive mid September and my new one for home arrives in a week.)

I’m doing my best to catch up on your blogs. Don’t be surprised if you get a blog-by from me soon!

Smackdown

Wow! So many of you rushed to my defense. I’m honored and greatly appreciate the support. I wasn’t really offended by the few negative comments. I just gathered from the varied responses maybe I needed to clarify a bit. I’m by no means discouraged from blogging. Puh-lease! You can’t get rid of me that easy. hehehe.

I will add the one negative email was followed up w/another rather sarcastic one that I had an obligation to explain myself the first time. Well, that might be true but if you read more often Mr. ANON you might not have jumped to the wrong conclusion so hastily. And, I might add, making such quick judgements from one post on a blog of person you’ve never met doesn’t really show much for your intelligence. It sorta gives the impression of just the opposite. But, hey what do I know right?

Anyway, moving on. I got a call from one of my classmates from EMT class this morning. He is working for one of the privates. We talked about different cases, happenings, etc. When he told me how much he makes, my jaw hit the floor. A fraction of what I’m making now. Absolutely no way in hell I could quit my current gig to work as a private EMT full time. They get paid squat. Thankfully, he is doing other stuff to help pay the bills. What does this mean for me? Just that I have to stay on my current course.

It was so much fun talking shop w/someone at my level of experience. He works mostly BLS (basic life support) calls so he doesn’t see much heavy stuff. But as emergencies are never predictible, he’s had some good calls. He was amazed to hear about my last call. Overall, I’m still very much the novice but I learn quick. It’s not so much the actual work I’m doing while riding along but the exposure and understanding it imparts. Sadly, the city has put hiring for EMT positions on hold so I’m having to switch gears a bit. I’ll keep doing ride alongs until I get enough hours to go back to school. The current goal is to start classes in the spring semester.

Life or Death

Ok, so after a flurry of emails/comments regarding my last post, I feel the need to clarify.

No, I am not happy people die or get sick. Nor do I take joy in it. Howver, people die every day. In my line of work, I’m bound to see it and often. If you thought that I was rejoicing in someone else’s loss for even a moment, I suggest you read here more often. I do however, take joy in learning a new job skill. Especially one that I enjoy. My enthusiasm is borne from a desire to help those around me. Duh!

One particular email compared me to Satan which I find HIGH-larious. First of all, if the mythical hell really did exist, I’m sure the gays would move in, fix it up, make it hip and then all the straights would want it again. As if.

For the rest of you, yes he lived. I rarely know the outcome of my patients however, I happened to know one of the interns so she emailed me. It was a clot, as suspected, and it was successfully removed. The patient has already moved to standard care bed and will be out of the hospital soon.

Remember the tweaker chick I told you about? Apparently, she got one fix too many. She ran out in front of a muni bus. Witnesses in the area said she was yelling that gaint bees where chasing her. She is no longer w/us. Still think meth is fun?