Category: gay

Brand

Unless you’re a stranger to the internet, you’re probably aware of the ongoing drama with a certain brand name getting raked over the coals for bashing their own.You’d think that seeing the outcry they would apologize and shut up for awhile. As of today, they continue to dig-in in an every expanding failure to defend comments that should have been kept private. [1]Do these people not have publicists?  And frankly, no matter how you slice it, the comments were demeaning. 

You can think whatever you like and are even free to say it, but you are not free from the consequences. And acting like spoiled little brats doesn’t after the fact doesn’t improve your standing. If you own a brand name directly associated with your name is it really a good idea to insult many of the people who help make you wealthy? It is a hard lesson in the changing world though. No one is immune from the viral effects of the internet. 

As for the calls for boycott, I’m not really for it. Not every disagreement needs to result in a boycott. If I purchased their products, I’d probably stop as a personal decision. I would not however try to ruin them for simply disagreeing with me. Being free means people are allowed to disagree, even our own. Boycotts should be for those who actively work against us, not just anyone with an unfavorable opinion. Calling for a boycott marginalizes the big issues and minimize their effectiveness as well. 

Hopefully, they’ll just shut up and let things die down again. People will forget and move on to the next big scandal. However, the more they run their mouth the more inflamed it will become. 

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↑1 Do these people not have publicists?

Secret

We’ve heard tons of comments on white privilege in recent weeks, but what about religious privilege? We are quite accustomed to hearing from the fundies about how they are being persecuted. The reality is religion is given an exceptionally wide berth in this country.

In recent days, I’ve seen a plethora of news stories on church pastors talking about killing LGBT folks for just existing and having the audacity to want equal rights. And don’t get me started on those Duggar assholes. All of these folks are becoming desperate because they realize they are losing their so called culture war. Forgetting the normal rants on how we are single-handedly causing the destruction of everything because … "god" for a moment, they’ve upped their game now and completely gone off the deep end.

It is time for us as a citizenry to start reigning this nonsense in. You can believe whatever brand of crazy you want as long as you keep it to yourself. You can believe I am personally going to some imaginary place of eternal suffering after I die because I refuse to fall in line with your brand of crazy. [1]I still can’t get over the ‘shell-fish is an abomination’ clause. I sends me into hysterics every time. Of course we realize how crazy that is but magically forget it when it comes … Continue reading But the moment you start calling for me to be less than other humans or calling for my death, you no longer get a say. The moment you start trying to legislate your beliefs on everyone you’ve crossed the line into bigotry. Your ignorant bile is not welcome in society anymore. ​

Even worse in my mind are the people who go around giving lip-service to their so-called faith but do nothing to stop the insanity. Where are all the other church pastors decrying this behavior? Where is the outcry from the millions of Americans who ‘claim’ to be christian? Why are they not condemning these fanatics? Could it be because their supposedly non-violent book of fairy tales is actually very violent. We are quick to talk about how Islam is a violent religion but we brush off our own brand of crazy. Well, your dirty little secret is out and we ain’t buying it anymore.

In my book you no longer get a pass. Your privilege ends with me. Stop sharing your smarmy photos and memes on social media about how wonderful your [insert deity of choice here] is and start calling out the crazies in your own ranks. If you are not calling them out then you are complicit in their actions. And if you are an LGBT person on top of it, you bear the shame of knowing your inaction directly contributes to the oppression of your brothers and sisters.

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↑1 I still can’t get over the ‘shell-fish is an abomination’ clause. I sends me into hysterics every time. Of course we realize how crazy that is but magically forget it when it comes to begin gay.

Civic

Everyone is jockeying for the moral high ground after the Ferguson verdict. Social media is a shit-show of everyone pointing fingers at each other. I won’t even go into all the judge/juries that have appointed them selves verdict makers on Brown/Wilson’s implied guilt.

I feel like I have a unique perspective on the subject. [1] No surprise there right? lol   There is my work side that deals with law-enforcement issues every day of my career. I can see valid points from the officer’s story. There were several things Brown could have done to avoid the confrontation. Then there is my gay side that grew up at the hands of very rough and not so friendly police on more than one occasion. I can see valid points from Brown’s family. The police could have handled the situation better and not necessarily let it escalate out of control. 

The reality is neither side is blameless. No one has the moral high ground here. And no one should walk away feeling like they lost/won. We all lost. People often can’t resolve the cognitive dissonance created by the ambiguity of fault or blame. And because of this, we can’t admit that neither side is blameless. Brown refused to comply, Wilson overreacted. [2]Please spare me unnecessary rants on the variances of this over simplification

No matter who’s side you are on it still means nothing unless we act. If we truly want to fix these problems, we must move beyond the never-ending and condescending tantrums via social media. And while petitions and marches in the streets are excellent displays of solidarity, they are not enough. These things depend on someone else to fix our problems.

We as a citizenry must be involved. We cannot abandon, thru indifference, our oversight of those we place in power and be surprised when it suddenly becomes corrupt. Civic duty is not just serving jury duty or voting, begrudgingly. It is our guaranteed right thru the freedoms granted us. But we must exercise those rights. It should not be something we only do when it is convenient. It should be a part of our daily lives. [3]Do me a favor and read this paragraph again  If more of us get involved, we won’t need to constantly focus on blame. We’ll be in forums to constantly give oversight, feedback, and accountability to both sides.

Basically, I’m saying be involved or shut up and accept your servitude. It is that simple. Like any living thing, democracy must be fed or it dies from neglect. Go to your local police community meetings. If they aren’t offered,  rally your neighbors and friends and demand they have them. Go to your governing body’s public meetings. Call, write, and/or email your local and state leaders. And don’t do it once and call it good. Involvement is ongoing. Embrace your civic duties. Then and only then can we see real change.

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↑1 No surprise there right? lol
↑2 Please spare me unnecessary rants on the variances of this over simplification
↑3 Do me a favor and read this paragraph again

PSA

I thought I’d provide a public service announcement today. Let me attempt to clarify (and edify) you on the differences between belief and bigotry.

Belief (or faith) in your [deity of choice] is soley your choice in life. Under the freedoms granted to you in our democracy, you are free to believe and celebrate (thru prayer, church, communion, etc) said belief thru its given dogma any way you choose. While I may or may not agree with your belief(s), you are entitled to them and I respect that. You are free to believe that being gay is an abomination. [1]So is eating shell-fish. Where is the outrage over shrimp? I mean just look at those nasty little buggers! They have ‘demon’ written all over them! You are free to hate me for being gay. Hate is not illegal. You are free to think that I will be transported to a magical place of fire/brimestone upon my death. You are free to ignore the fact that I was born gay. You are free to disagree with the later statement verbally. You are free to say your beliefs and share them with others by proselytizing [2]witnessing. These are your rights.

What you are not free to do is enforce your belief onto me, thru laws or otherwise. You are not free to commit a crime against me based on your hate. When you attempt to enforce your belief(s) onto me you are engaged in bigotry. You are not free to discriminate against me based on your belief when you provide public accommodations. You are not free force me to live your way. You are not free to prevent me from having the same rights as any other human being simply because I’m different. We do not live in a theocracy. And no matter how you might wish we did, we still do not. Your belief does not shield you from persecution when you cross over into being a bigot. And calling you out for your bigotry does not make you a victim of persecution. And no amount of cognitive dissonace, conflation, or twisting the english language will ever make it so.

Now you know. Go forth and edify others; so it is my commandment to you this 17th day of October in the year 11 of Moby’s blog.

References

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↑1 So is eating shell-fish. Where is the outrage over shrimp? I mean just look at those nasty little buggers! They have ‘demon’ written all over them!
↑2 witnessing

GHHD #3 2014

Well, it is that time again. Gay High Holy Day #3 of 2014 aka Folsom St Fair.

For most of you, time to dust off your leather and don your favorite pair of come-f**k me pumps. The weekend promises to be muggy and warm so be prepared for stickiness. [1]Both kinds If you’re visiting, be safe and don’t trash our lovely city. If you’re local, traffic is going to be a mess. 🙂 Either way, be smart and don’t drink and drive. PD will be on the look out. MUNI, BART, Uber, Lyft, etc to wherever you need to be.

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I’m having trouble getting into the spirit this year. I’m just not overly motivated. Nothing is wrong, I just can’t seem to find any excitement. Actually, besides my slightly wonky eye, things are awesome. You’d think being The Pup and I’s first year together with him living here, I’d be super excited. I feel a tad guilty as I’m probably dragging a little of his excitement down. I’m sure once we get out into the festivities I’ll perk up.

We got tickets to Real Bad this year. I haven’t been in a couple years so I’m sure it will be fun. The guys always do such a bang up job putting it together. The fact it is a charity certianly helps soften the blow that the tickets are $100 (after tax) a piece now. ​

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Feel free to ingore my "meh"-ness and enjoy the weekend! Be safe, have fun!

References

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↑1 Both kinds

801

‘Eight Oh One‘ is our local PD code for suicide. Today is the unfortunate anniversary of a coworker/friend’s death by suicide 9 years ago. She shot herself in a moment of sadness and her light was forever extinquished. Her death was especially painful for me. We weren’t besties but we were friends and I always considered her a kindred spirit. And in moments alone, she would often open up a little more to me and share in that connection. Our connection stemmed in part due to similar struggles in life. We both experienced a harsh and abusive childhood because we had the audacity to be born gay. Having already survived my own brush with suicide, it was a big blow to hear of her death. I knew what she must have been going thru internally and lamented that she didn’t reach out to me. Of course, no one knew how bad she felt. She was very stoic and kept it all hidden.

People often think of suicides as cowardly or selfish. That is simply not true. That is just a projection of our own pain over the loss. When you reach that awful stage there is no thought of self. [1]And I hope you haven’t and/or never do  There is no reason. There is no right or wrong. There is no thought of those who will miss you after you are gone. All of it is stripped away, layer by layer, until nothing is left but an all-encompassing blinding pain. A singular thought remains….escape!  Sadly, suicide is often the only mechanism that seems to offer a solution at that moment. But, I am here to tell you you can escape it without resorting to death. I am living proof.

Anyway, I decided to take her badge to work and remind everyone of her anniversary. On a side note, LGBT folks are 4-6 times more likely to commit suicide before the age of 25. [2]The statistics vary from org to org but this is the rough average.  In my line of work, suicides are also higher due to the stress and constant raw emotions that we process day after day. After decades of exposure, it can really wear you down. So, I wanted to reach out to my coworkers in the hopes that if they should ever be in such a dark place, they should also feel comfortable reaching out to me or anyone in their life for help. We all talked about fond memories of her and how she impacted us.

As for my coworker, where ever you are my dear, I hope you are in a better place. I hope you escaped the misery and pain. I hope that those around you can experience your light and love and be better for it.

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↑1 And I hope you haven’t and/or never do
↑2 The statistics vary from org to org but this is the rough average.

Day

I keep getting random questions on the wedding date. We haven’t yet set a date. I can tell you it won’t be until next year sometime. Neither he nor I are in any hurry. The engagement was sort of the finalization of what we both knew we wanted. For myself, I knew pretty early I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I have no doubt it will happen so I don’t feel any pressure to rush it. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the legal protections it provided, I think we might skip it. We both realize it is meant to symobilze our commitment vs create it. I know what is important to me and I have it. In a word, him. He is all that matters.

It’s funny because I never thought I’d actually be able to get legally married. If you had told me 10 years ago, I’d someday soon have the right, I’d have laughed. It is has been very gratifying to see such an abrupt change in our acceptance. The speed of it has been a historical oddity unto itself. So now I am faced with the unexpected but welcome reality of having the same choices as everyone else. But having the option doesn’t necessarily mean I should run out and tie the knot. Taking the time to solidify our relationship is more important than the labels or names we attach to it. I’m already married in my heart and that is enough for now.

Of course, on the flip side, I don’t wanna get married while I’m still working on a chunk of debt. It wouldn’t bother him but I just don’t like the idea of him suddenly being responsible for my debts if something were to happen to me. He had nothing to do with it and certainly doesn’t deserve to be responsible for it. With the exception of his condo, he is all but debt free. I’m a little envious. lol I chose the path that led to my current debt so I’m not complaining, but I wouldn’t want that on his shoulders. So part of the waiting is from a practical stand point. I think in a way it keeps me from getting all fuzzy and rushing it.

Anway, I’ll be sure to post info here about the big event. 

Observed

In the vein of my last post I thought I share some follow up observations. Pride as a celebration/protest/march/event has changed. It continues to change every year. This should not be a surprise as our community has seen the fastest change in acceptance of any civil rights struggle in the last century. What Pride means to me is different from someone experiencing Pride for the first time. And of course, Pride as an event as always been a bit subjective. For some it is a celebration, for others it is a protest, and for some still it is an act of defiance.

The Pup and I did our first Pride together this year and I still found myself getting a little choked up. To my surprise, he mentioned to me later that he had as well. I often spend as much time looking out across the see of attendees as I do the parade participants. Looking out across the sea of people still gets to me every time. It reminds me of where I came from and where we are headed. It doesn’t matter if they represent me or look/act like me. No matter our differences in life, I always feel connected to them in a common thread that is humanity. We are all but mainstream now. For some that is a blessing and others see it as a curse. Either way, our often treasured events are no longer just ours. They are shared by others, some who just come to party. I don’t begrudge them. [1] Even if I begrudge some of their drunken antics  For me, Pride will always be a celebration of that dawning realization I was not alone.

That being said, the Pride of the 70’s/80’s/90’s is gone. As with life, all things change and as fast as we change, so does our celebrations. I do lament that many of the younger generation will never take the time to know the struggle of those before. They won’t know the pain, the heartache, and even death of the many souls who fought for us to be seen as humans; deserving of the same respect and treatment as our straight brethren. But having freedom doesn’t mean others should comply with my way of thinking or acting. The alphabet of letters we’ve assigned ourselves and others are all welcome at the table. Just as freedom should not be contingent on compliance or conformance, neither should equality.

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Many of my frustrations with Pride (and other gay events) has little to do with us as a community and more with society as a whole. We devolving in many ways. If we don’t pull away from the indifference, selfishness, and anti-intellectualism that is plaguing our society, we are in big trouble. I fear for ‘our’ celebrations because of this. But I digress. Our own alphabet community, while tied together in common struggle, is beginning to unravel and fight against itself. Having tasted the sweet fruit of equality, we are abandoning our tolerance and acceptance of our differences. We see the world thru the lens of black and white and anyone who would disagree, even in the slightest, is often labeled the enemy.

There is an emergent polarization erupting in our rainbow colored spectrum. We have those who embrace our newfound equality and those who rail against it. The former are labeled sellouts and conformists and the latter are labeled freaks and anarchists. While both labels may be true in some instances, such overly broad generalizations are not helpful. Some of the antics from both sides in the last year have made me ashamed to be called gay.

Each of us is responsible for our actions. We can choose to mire ourselves in the obscurity of the masses because it is easy and comfortable. Or we can choose to lead a path of truth, even when it isn’t always convenient. You have to ask yourself, which path are you on?

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↑1 Even if I begrudge some of their drunken antics

GHHD 2014

So the GHHDs [1] Gay High Holy Day are fast approaching. Pride is just around the corner. It was around this time a year ago that it dawned my dumb as that I was in love with a man, aka The Pup. He was in NY and I was in SF. So Pride has a sort of an additional meaning for me now. hehehe 

It was also the time when the shameful Prop 8 was thrown out in California. Pride in California took on an additional meaning as a result. I think this year’s Pride will be equally significant as every single state in the Union has either had rulings that same-sex marriage bans are unconstitutional or currently have lawsuits working thru the courts to that end. I think it is safe to say that the tide has turned in the fight. It isn’t over but it is no longer an uphill battle IMO. We still have a hill to climb in the fight for equality for our transgendered brethren. [2]I have a few more thoughts on the increasing internal squabble about certain phrases later 

The Pup and I are headed down to Phoenix the week prior. I get to meet his parents for the  first time. I’m not at all nervous as I have him so I’m cool. He is looking forward to the trip. It will be his first time back since the move to SF. We’ll be back in time for Pride here. Phoenix celebrates their Pride much later. I’m sure due to the extreme heat in the summer months. Anyway, we don’t have anything major planned. I’m sure we’ll go to the parade and the fair for a bit.
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And right on cue, the whole Pride-bashing brigade is in full swing. It happens every year now and frankly I’m sick of it. I’ve tried to gently educate folks over the years but I’m over the entitled self-serving attitudes. If you don’t like it, don’t go. But, shut your pie hole about trying to say no one else deserves or benefits from it. If you don’t think we need pride anymore than I encourage you to hop over and read this. When these attitudes and problems are no longer prevalent across America then I might agree with you. The article is a few months old but still happened recently. And just because YOU don’t need or appreciate Pride anymore doesn’t make it any less relevant or needed.

Why do we need to celebrate Pride, the straights don’t have a Pride day?  Well, let me tell you why. We don’t have Pride to show we are proud of being gay. We celebrate to show we can walk down the street w/o persecution or attack. We celebrate the hard-earned freedoms we’ve fought for in the last 3 decades. We celebrate our ability to be treated as an equal. There may come a day when we don’t need Pride but we are most definitely not there yet. Until we secure freedoms in every state for us as well as our Trans brethren the fight is not over.

Pride has become a corporate sell-out. And how exactly are they expected to put on such events when the community no longer gives money? Those corporate donors you whine about are floating (pun intended) the costs so we can have an event. If you don’t like that then I strongly encourage you to start donating monies to help offset the costs. Providing even the basics is not cheap.

“Those” people don’t represent me. That may be true but many of those people are the reason you have the rights you have today. They may not represent you personally but they are part of our community whether you deem them worthy or not. And frankly, if you would like to see more diversity in our represented numbers then you should step up and help. Have a float, go with a group, or walk with banners. Don’t not participate in any way and then sit back and whine about being under represented. Even better, next time look out across the crowd and see all the less colorful people enjoying the show. They do represent us because they are us. The people in the parade are not the only representation of us.

Too many straights are coming and ruining it for us. Yeah you are right. Shame on all those straight people for showing up in solidarity and supporting us. How dare they invade OUR event. I meant they could go just back to hating us, bashing us, or tying us to a fence in the cold to die. I mean it just boggles the mind that as we move into being mainstream that the straight community might want to partake in our events. I find this excuse the most insulting and arrogant of all of them. We’ve fought inequality for how many decades and now that we are finally on the road to achieving it you are mad that the straight community is embracing our events? How very selfish and hypocritical.

There are too much drinking and drugs. And this one is true but it is also not new. This has always been an issue. If you think the fair sells too much booze then you should volunteer or go to the community meetings about Pride. Reach out to your community members that run the event and give feedback. As for the drugs, it is a much larger systemic problem and has never been just during Pride. See a pattern forming here? Get involved. Don’t complain and do nothing, otherwise you are part of the problem, not the solution.

We have come a long way, not doubt, but we are far from equal. The story I linked to above is one example of thousands. Having been in a similar situation in my youth I still remember my first Pride. It was so affirming and empowering. It made me realize I was not alone. I would never deny that to a single person. And until we secure the same equality for our Trans brethren, the fight is not over.

Indifference is not a reason to stop having Pride. And because you may no longer need or want it does not mean it has no more value. You do not get the right to whine and complain and then do nothing. Or I should say you have the right to complain but your words are hollow and meaningless. If Pride is just not for you, that is perfectly fine, but don’t bash it simply because of that.

“Those” people are the ones who are still fighting to put on these events. They are the ones working their asses off so it will happen. They are the ones bouncing on floats to put on a show and help draw crowds. When you begin to step up and make a difference, then your opinion will matter. Many of us have fought so hard for so long to just be accepted, we are comfortable fitting in and not drawing attention. I get it and support it. But that does not equate to doing away with any and everything that might draw attention to us. Nor does it mean that everyone wants to confirm and ‘fit in’.

We need to practice what we preach and be tolerant of others. We need to step out of our indifference and be accounted for if we want to affect change within our community. Most of all, we need to stop with the idea that if it doesn’t benefit me directly then it isn’t worthwhile and should be done away with.

I hope that you have a safe and happy Pride.

References

References
↑1 Gay High Holy Day
↑2 I have a few more thoughts on the increasing internal squabble about certain phrases later

PrEP

So I’m diving head first into a topic of news lately regarding PrEP. *This is a bit of a long post today so grab some caffeine*

If you aren’t familiar with the term PrEP, it stands for Pre-Exposure Prophylactic. [1]Not to be confused with PEP, Post Exposure Prophylactic. The same drug is used for both The drug Truvada has been on the market to treat HIV since the late 90’s. It was recently approved to help with the the prevention of HIV transmission for individuals that are HIV negative. This news has been received with some very mixed reviews from within the community and the fight over it rages on.

The disturbing part is not that the decision is contentious but that there have been attempts to silence or shame anyone who has embraced the option. I must say I don’t really understand the latter. Even worse, much of the criticisms are based on ignorance and baseless (so far) assumptions. I get the advice for caution and concern but the level of vitriol and condescending attacks is unnecessary and counter-productive. If you don’t understand something don’t ramble on about how awful it is because ‘you know someone will abuse it.’ As often turns out, you don’t know and that ignorance can cause real harm in this instance. You have zero right to demean anyone who would choose a path that may help prevent them from getting HIV, even if that path doesn’t line up with your personal preferences.

I blame some of it on our conditioning in Western culture to hate our bodies and/or any idea of sex outside of coupling. We are institutionalized from birth on 1man+1women=babies. Well, that social construct doesn’t apply so well for us same-sex lovin’ folks. And having moral apprehension to a method to prevent the transmission of HIV is perfectly fine for yourself. Sex is not dirty, wrong, or shameful. And this continual shame based approach to sexuality is reprehensible. Frankly, it should dispel any remaining allusions that we are in any way unique or more evolved than our straight brethren.

This particular argument isn’t about personal standards. It is about the prevention of HIV transmission. Infections are once again on the rise at an alarming rate. [2]Ironically, many don’t stigmatize the treatment of other STDs, like Gonorrhea or Syphilis, that used to be considered terminal. And while HIV may not be the death sentence it once was, it is still incurable. It is time to branch out and embrace more ways to combat the spread. The ‘you should use a condom’ argument has soundly failed, as evidenced by the continual rise in infections from a generation that missed the mass die-off in the beginning. And why we of all people continue to fall prey to this failed ideology escapes me. The ‘you should’ method has never worked. If it did, we wouldn’t have teen pregnancies, drunk drivers, continued HIV transmission, or even wars for that matter. You are right, people should use a condom. Many do but many more don’t. It is time to fight the transmission from a different angle and from as many angles as we possibly can.

There are some pros and cons to going on PrEP. It isn’t for everyone based on your risk-factors, health, eating/drinking habits, relationship status, etc. If you have questions or concerns, ignore all the hype and drama. Talk to your health care professional about it. At the end of the day, what I or anyone else thinks you should do is irrelevant. You should act to protect yourself and if this would help you, then you should consider it.

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For my own view, I support the approach to limit the spread based on sound statistical evidence. So far, the studies are showing that PrEP is truly effective in preventing the exposure and spread of infection.

One big argument I hear has been people will use condoms less. Statistically, so far that proves to be inaccurate. Two of the studies (which use blind testing – meaning you never know if you are getting the real drug or a placebo) showed that overall condom use did not decrease. But let us assume for a moment that people did. How many times have you trusted a complete stranger to be honest about their status? And how many times have you engaged in riskier sex based on that belief? The way I see it, we have several scenarios [3]excluding needle sharing where HIV transmission can occur:

Both partner’s know they are neg.
This is a fallacy. You should never assume someone who has sex with others besides you is neg. But let us assume for the moment, both partners think they are neg. You aren’t in a monogamous LTR and you engage in unprotected sex. Not being on PrEP means you are at the highest exposure rate for transmission. Being on PrEP would mean the ratio of transmission is reduced significantly (As much as 95% without a condom according to the efficacy rates of the studies so far).

One partner doesn’t know his status.
I would argue most of new transmissions via sex happen when one partner doesn’t know his status or assumes his status hasn’t changed. Again, if one of you are on PrEP, the exposure rate is reduced significantly.

Only one partner is neg.
Usually this means the poz partner is already on a drug regimen and undetectable. (You should still ask)  Plenty of sero-discordant couples already weren’t using condoms prior to PrEP. In an LTR or not, now the neg partner has an extra layer of protection and assurance he is not at risk. Not only does this reduce the transmission, it also de-stigmatizes the fear that comes from being with a poz person. Knowing you can be with a poz person and not put yourself at risk helps many who want to get past the mental mind-block, overcome their fear, and move forward.

Both partner’s know they are poz.
These are the least of your worries. These guys know their status and sero-sort on purpose. Primarily, to avoid the afore mentioned stigma that comes with being poz. I’d argue the only time this becomes an issue is when you get into assuming again. “We’re barebacking so he must be neg”, meanwhile, the other guy is thinking “We’re barebacking so he must be poz.” Never assume anyone is neg.

So which category do you fit in?

There are some cons and real concerns to consider. The biggest concern so far is the idea that guys will go on it inconsistently and cause resistance. Keep in mind resistance is only relevant if you sero-convert to being positive. Adherence to the daily regimen is key to the drugs efficacy. But think on this for a moment. The drug is already used for post exposure. Say you aren’t being very consistent with taking it daily. Then you have an exposure. How many of you reading this wouldn’t, out of that same fear, start taking it every day after an a possible exposure?

So far, the medical community is much more worried about resistance from folks that are using it as treatment, not preventative care. And let’s be real, people who spend the time, energy, and money to get on it as PrEP aren’t being cavalier. I’d argue they are doing just the opposite. It isn’t just a simple prescription. You have to visit your doc every 3 months, at least for the first year, for regular checkups and blood work. That decreases over time but you see my point. And when has a doc ever given you a prescription with an unlimited refill amount? See, when you think it thru you start unraveling some of the preconceived notions.

Another issue is cost. Fortunately, most large insurers already cover it so if you have insurance, chances are higher they do cover it vs not. I won’t even entertain the conspiracy theories I’m heard on this one.

And then we get to side-effects. The are some rare but sometimes very serious side-effects that can come from long term use of the drug. That again, is why you discuss it with your doctor and get regular blood work. Almost two decades of use show overall it is well tolerated by most. Even still, you are not given a prescription and never return. The hype over some of the more serious side-effects has been quite dazzling. I encourage you to go to WebMD.com and do a search for both Truvada and the little blue pill. [4]I don’t want to attract the bots so I’m not spelling it out. lolol No one is up in arms over the side-effects of the latter, which by definition aren’t much better. You can choose pretty much any drug site of choice to do a comparison.

In the end, you have to decide for yourself if this is right for you. If you are someone who uses a condom without fail (pun intended) then it may not be the choice for you. However, if you find that you aren’t 100% consistent and/or just want an extra layer of protection, then it might be for you. Talk to your doctor. Talk to others who are on it, regardless of their status. Decide for yourself if PrEP would be an additional way to combat the spread of HIV for YOU.

/rant

References

References
↑1 Not to be confused with PEP, Post Exposure Prophylactic. The same drug is used for both
↑2 Ironically, many don’t stigmatize the treatment of other STDs, like Gonorrhea or Syphilis, that used to be considered terminal.
↑3 excluding needle sharing
↑4 I don’t want to attract the bots so I’m not spelling it out. lolol