Category: gay

Baby’s Daddy – continued…

Well the trip to see my father is fast approaching and I’m still a bit mixed up about it. Of course, most people hearing of his pending death, immediately offer condolences and start to worry if “I’m doing ok”. Since I don’t ‘do’ funerals, this trip will be the last time I ever lay eyes on him. After the tragedy of my childhood my views on death have changed significantly. This ties into my spiritual beliefs as well. I don’t know exactly when it happened but one day I just stopped fearing death. Simply put, I come to view death as a crossing of sorts, not a dead end. If I had known this when I lost my first love it would have saved me so much unnecessary anguish. Crap! I’m getting off topic a bit. So anyway, I won’t be going to his funeral. What has got me a bit apprehensive is the coming showdown.

Knowing him and how he likes to procrastinate, he won’t say anything until I’m ready to leave, then he’ll bring it all up and try to foster his guilt off on me. His modus operandi has always been to apologize for his behavior and then immediately try to blame me for the whole thing. I think he would rather I had never told him and just lied about it. He is able to justify his actions that way. So with this in mind, I’m forced into a dilemma. Do I swallow my self-pride and dignity that took me years to find and just let him do it so he can pass on w/a clear conscience or do I stand by who/what I am till the very end? His end.

If you read my blog often, you can probably guess the answer already.

Surreality

Ain’t made up words great? Sometimes the words that really exist just don’t sound as nice. So ‘surreality’ is my made up word for the day. Coming from white trash means, I’m allowed to do that.

So anyway, I was struck by such a sense of ‘surreality’ today while riding Muni. [1]Muni is our public transit subway. I’m riding Muni along looking at all the advertisements that had been defaced. Pretty much every ad from West Portal to Castro was marked up in one form or another. All except the gay one. I forget what the ad was for but it was the only one not marked up. The irony was so overwhelming I burst out laughing. I’m sure everyone thought I was nuts be thats another story. For all my previous whining about the breeder invasion, I forget sometimes what a surreal environment I live in.

SF has a huge gay/lesbian population packed into a very small area. On top of that, it is probably one of the most progressive and tolerant cities in the nation to live. From a personal perspective, I’d feel safe walking around in about 80% of the city. The other 20% I don’t think being gay would matter, I’d be in trouble either way. *g* I can’t think of any other US city I’d feel that safe in as a gay man. And lets not forget our straight mayor, whether you agree w/his tactics or not, who put a face on the struggle for equal rights. Equal rights not just for the thousands of gays/lesbians in California but for the millions of our brethern all across America.

So for all my whining about the Castro, there is still no other place I’d prefer to live.

References

References
↑1 Muni is our public transit subway.

Breeder Invasion

Back to my own meanderings now that I’ve gotten that ugly monkey obesity off my back.

I know I probably shouldn’t be annoyed by this but I am. The Castro is being invaded by more and more “breeders” every freaking day. It has gotten to where you can’t walk down the street during the week w/o bumping into a whole gaggle of mommy/daddy combos w/kids in tow.

I know, I know, I should be glad the more and more straights feel comfortable being around so many gays. That I should be happy of the “barrier” breakdown between gay/straights. And I am. That said, I go to the Castro to get away from the straights. Sometimes, I just wanna be around gays. I wanna be able to walk down the street and see nothing but gay people.

I can hear it now, “Oh but thats just not fair Moby, now you are discriminating.” Well, yeah I am in a way. However, being straight has never been a minority. Straights have never been oppressed for being just straight. Gays have and still do. So that gives me the right to be just a little bit biased. And as long as being gay is considered unequal in this country, I will continue to want a place where I can go and just be around my own kind. I may not be the stereo-typical card toting fag but I am still gay.

Feeling Better

Well, It’s around 8:45 and I’m feeling better. My sore throat has almost disappeared completely. Just a touch of a cough so I’m hopeful this is the worst of it. *crosses fingers*

I tried to just take it easy and goof off. Went for lunch at Before & After, it was tasty as usual. I did end up going to the movies. I don’t recommend Darkness. Totally sucked! The few scary scenes were ruined by a very unconnected plot. Nothing makes sense till the very end and by that point you are over it. It definitely wasn’t worth the $8.00. And for me to say that, it really sucks!

So, I finally managed to venture out a bit. I made it down to Castro. Of course, as soon as I got here it started raining again. Not as bad as previous days but still yucky. Not to mention, these 3 rather large queens have parked themselves directly behind me while having a non stop tirade of criticisms of the sex ads on Craigs List. Being far from a prude myself, I’m not casting stones. However, 2 hours nonstop of “oh nice cock” and “great ass” and in the same breath, “oh he is a stuck up fag” or “he thinks he is too good for us” gets annoying to say the least. I wanted to say something incredibly tacky/caddy all in one breath but then thought again of my karma and how well its been treating me. I kept my mouth shut! That said, God! I hope I was never that desperate.

*dramatic pause while thinking back thru the years of my life*

Naaaah.

From Pics to Spam

Ok, I’m over my bathroom kick, at least for awhile. So, todays madness is about pics. I’ve gotten a couple of emails asking for more pics of me. I’ve been contemplating adding a photoblog here but since I’m considering folding the blog into my domain, it doesn’t really make much sense to go thru all the effort just to change it again. Being lazy, I just changed my profile pic. Oy! What a mug huh? Face like that could crack glass.

Speaking of pics, why is it people feel the need to lie or hide their identities online? I won’t even go into online dating/sex sites where guys use fake pics to hook up for nookie. No, we’ll tuck that rant away for a rainy day. Most of my buddies think its from a secret desire to be anonymous and naughty at the same time. I guess that makes sense but, you really aren’t being anonymous. Your IP address can be traced back to you along w/your name and address. (For those non-techie folks, IP stands for internet protocol. Its a string of numbers, unique to you, your computer uses to identify you on the network. ) These numbers are easy to look up for free even to a novice internet user. And most people seem to know this but fall prey to the mentality “oh it won’t happen to me.” Or, if they can’t see it happening, they don’t really think much about it. Of course, this probably explains why viruses spread so quickly. I know some of you are thinking, “no, that can’t be right. No, he doesn’t know what he is talking about.” Ok, well here is a classic example of how Porn sites magically get your information.

Step 1. You visit Site A. Your browser is set to accept cookies. (you know it is) Part of the cookie is your IP address. BAM! They have you right there. They ping your IP to discover your name/home address and add you to their snail mail spam list. It is really that easy.

Step 2. You visit Site B. Your browser is set to accept cookies. This time, the cookie looks for your personal info you filled out when you bought the PC. Yes, they do that, and its perfectly legal. BAM! You could now begin getting snail mail and email spam AND if you filled out your home phone number, they can now CALL you w/more spam.

So the next time you log onto your favorite porn site, remember someone is watching!

Corporate Disgrace – Again

I don’t know if this is the first incident of 2005 but its the first I’ve noticed. Anyhoo, so get this. A guy is fired from a blood lab for disclosing he is HIV. A BLOOD LAB! The very people who should know better. (full story)
John Couture was hired by Bonfils Memorial Blood Center to work as a phlebotomist – a technician who draws blood – as part of a mobile blood collection team.
Several weeks into his training, he was informed that members of his training class would practice on each other to learn how to draw blood. Couture disclosed his HIV status to his employer to avoid the possibility that one of one of his colleagues would come into contact with his blood during this one-time training. As a result, Bonfils Memorial Blood Center fired him from his position as a phlebotomist, yet allowed him to apply for an inferior position in the production department where he would have no contact with blood donors.

Wait, I know what you’re thinking, “this sounds like a bad episode of Nip/Tuck“. No, I’m afraid not, this really happened. How often do you hear of a phlebotomist saying oops, silly me, I drew my own blood and, *feigned laugh* I accidentally put in your vial” I mean how stupid do these people have to be? Basically, he’d have to draw someone’s blood, stick himself w/a needle draw some of his own blood and then inject it into a used vial.

*ring ring, its the clue phone*

Gym & Tramps

Let see, how should I start this one. Nothing comes to mind so I guess I’ll dive right in. For those of you who know me, you know I’m a total horndog so this is no surprise to you. For those who don’t, well brace yourself, this is a bit of an adult rant today. *smile*

So I’m cruising this guy at the gym. He is just scrumptious from my point of view. . . 5’6″ italian mix of some sort. Tight lean frame and yeah THAT was nice too. *G* He always acts like he’s interested so I thought today was the day. I’m done w/my workout, (triceps – day from hell) and I’m showering up when he walks by gives me an up/down look as if to say “hello – drop to your knees”. I’m like wahooo! So then he slips into the steam room to hang out. I follow of course. And it goes like this for about 30mins. From shower to steam room and back again. Getting a bit annoyed, I corner him and ask him if he wants to come over since I’m only a block away. His response “is it safe over there?” …uh, well I’m a block away, how bad can it get? I didn’t really know what to say so I said, “yes, I’m just a block away”. So now he is all skiddish and stand offish giving off totally mixed signals. Of course, this ruins the spontaneity of it for me.

I just don’t get fags sometimes. Why go thru all the effort of showing someone you are into them and then back out? And the fucker was obviously interested cause he got a stiffy several times. Oh well, its not like I’m starving for it. Christ, this is SF after all. You can get laid checking the mail.

Well, thats my rant for now. I’m home “in the mood” after being disappointed by Mr. Hottie. I wonder if I can order in…

Prouder than Ever

For my tens of readers, awhile back you probably remember a post from a Ms. Peaslee who had some rather nasty things to say about gays. Apparently, Ms. Peaslee has pissed off a few of the locals as well. I’m proud to report quite a few replies to Ms. Peaslee’s ‘mo-bashing nonsense have surfaced just in time for the holidays.

Rather Depressing Note

I was scrolling thru my random reads as usual and came across this one. The fact that he felt compelled to go this far shows just how warped our sense of right/wrong is in this country.

(Raleigh, North Carolina) A U.S. National Guardsman who pleaded guilty to killing a 17-year-old Iraqi said he shot the young man 11 times after they had sex in a guard tower, a North Carolina newspaper reports, citing court-martial records….

At about 10:30 p.m. local time, Merida shot the teen 11 times with his carbine…

…Merida first told investigators the teen demanded money at gunpoint. Later, he said he killed the boy because he forced him to have sex. In a third interview, Merida said he was angry after the two had consensual sex.

A young man lost his life over a disgruntled homophobe after a mutual sexual encounter. What are we teaching our children that they harbor so much guilt they could resort to homicide? Of course, the christians will be all up in arms about how “we lured him into it”. It is these types of stories that make me doubt my faith in humanity’s ability to rise above its base animal instincts.

Shoved In Your Face

Ok, so today I’m just rolling thru blogs like crazy. I always get a tickle out of how there seems to be “rolling topics”. Basically, one person starts a topic and soon enough there are 10 blogs about the same blog or rants. *G*

So I’m stumbling thru links and I find several ongoing issues w/”christian america” being upset over being “forced” to see gays/lesbians in everyday occurrences. My previous rants about Ms. Peaslee and Foot Locker included. We also see Republic of T’s rants regarding a woman in Maryland who was so offended by a simple picture of two men sharing a small kiss on the subway she wrote in a lovely letter condemning us for basically “shoving it down her throat”. Ironic, that anywhere you look you see straights doing the same thing constantly. *getting out a pen/paper to write a strongly worded letter*

Then we discover a college academy in TX outs an 18yo male to his family against his wishes! He is 18 years old and that makes him a legal adult. I’m just dying to see a lawsuit come of this one!

Oh but here is the best part! (I almost pee’d my pants on this one) Several black church leaders are banning together and organized marches in support AGAINST gays! Forgetting for a moment, that blacks are one of the most persecuted minorities in our country and still suffer injustices on a variety of levels. Oh and the real kicker, MLK’s widow has publicly come out against these marches. The reasoning behind this odd turn of events is even more astounding! Somehow the struggle for equality is no longer a civil rights issue. Go figure.

And lets not forget our fashion mavens are out in force too! Apparently, we are being blamed for Target finally putting its foot down and booting the salvation army from their store fronts. Good for us. Any organization that discriminates deserves the boot. And just where is the homosexual agenda? I’m a card carrying ‘mo and I’ve yet to see this “agenda”. Can someone please forward me a copy. (I knew I wasn’t getting all my memos!)

Lest I forget, we are left w/the christian’s newest lapdog of ignorance, Judith Reisman. What a riot this woman is. Talk about diluted ideals of reality. Ms. Reisman tends to cloak her ignorance behind undocumented facts/figures. Facts that quickly fall by the wayside under closer examination. Nonetheless, she is rising in the ranks of the “christian not-so-right” and becoming one of their favorite lap dogs.

Enough for now. Blessed be the ignunt!