gay – Page 30 – Moby Files: Blog

Incoherent Ramblings II

The only successful task I’ve completed today is watching reruns of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. I used to be an avid fan but I stopped after things kept getting weird. I regretted missing the season where Tara gets killed and Willow goes mental. (Tara and Willow were lesbian lovers.) I never seem to be able to catch the episode when Giles comes back and teaches Willow the finer points of magic. Well thank god for TIVO! I’ve managed to catch up and tomorrow is the big event. *giggle*

I also caught a great documentry on Logo about the Harvey Milk murder back in the late 70’s. Not knowing a lot about it, I found it moving, eduational, and shameful all at the same time. The guy who shot and killed Harvey Milk only got 5 years in prison, he got out and tried to pick up his life as if nothing ever happended. He showed no remorse for what he’d done thru the whole ordeal. He killed himself shortly after his release. Apparently, he was depressed over not being able to pick up his life where he left off.

I signed up for Comcast High Speed Internet on Monday and the cable tech dropped of the install kit and modem today. Within 10 minutes of cracking open the box, I had my cable internet up and running. Seamless and painless. Hello SBC? Are you listening? Speaking of SBC, they are giving me grief about cancelling my account. After going online to cancel, I get an email requesting account details, no problem. I get a follow up email requesting confirmation of my request to cancel. Today, I get a third email telling me I need to call them to cancel. WTF? Why go thru the trouble of offering the ability to cancel your account online if I’m still gonna have to call, get put on hold for an eon, and then have to answer 50 questions about why I’m cancelling, blah blah blah. Just cancel my fucking service already! *oom-rah….ooom-rah….ooom-rah* Better now.

So, I’m catching up on my Blogroll today and stumbled across this gem. . .

Dragon Thong
*giggle* It’s cute and ridiculous all at the same time. I can’t wait to see it turn up in porno’s. Well, if I watched porno’s. *note to self, start watching porno.*

Moving on, I’ve been neglecting my podcasting lately. I was off to a blazing start then *fizzle*. I’ll try to get one in this week. I’m sure you’re just holding your breath in anticipation right?

Yeah, me neither.

the SHOWER room

I was reading this rant from the SHOWER room and was greatly disturbed. As long as people like this keep getting away with it, they’ll keep doing it.

The gist of the story is one guy gave another guy water laced w/ghb. (a date rape drug of choice for the gay community among other things). The victim proceeds to pass out and the guy “has his way w/him” then has the audacity to act like it’s no big thing. The vicitm isn’t even sure if he wants to press charges.

Read the whole story for the details. Mind you it’s 2nd hand but very disturbing nonetheless.

Gym Jam

I ran into a cutie in the dry sauna today at the gym. A tad young for me but he had deep blue eyes like pools of deep water. I’m a sucker for eyes so I gave him my number. We did the back and forth eye contact and lingering gazes, etc. Having no shame, I walked over to him in his towel gave him a strong handshake along w/that deep piercing look that says “yes, I want you naked face down in my bed” and introduced myself. He seemed stupified by my boldness but totally responded to it. Seeing his interest and being the incorrigible flirt that I am, I leaned over and gave him a quick but memorable kiss before I left.

I’m such a stinker!

Dore Weekend

I can’t believe I didn’t blog about Dore weekend. For those of you not in the know, this weekend was the Dore Alley fair. It’s basically a smaller version of the Folsom St Fair. I worked the booth again for the BCC. One, it kept me out of mischief and two, I get such a rewarding feeling from doing it. Not to mention, it’s a lot of fun. I get to stand around and look pretty. hehehe.

I had planned to take tons of pics but I took the wrong memory card so I only got a few. However, Tim and Norm, the photographers for the calendar, will send me some of theirs. I’ll post more later.

Well, if you like that last pic you’ll love these. Here I am caught off guard w/a clueless look on my face! lol

The re-take looks much better to me. Course, we always judge ourselves different from others. What say you?

Painful Reminder

I’m gonna go off on a rant here. (The trip info is still in works.)

Why are men such dicks?

I’ve been chatting w/a friend from back home in Houston via email for a few days now. Due to my schedule on such a short trip, we did not get time to visit in person. Anyway, I discovered he recently split w/his bf. There seem to be some striking parallels between his and my breakup. I got very teary eyed after reading his latest email. The pain he is going thru is all too familiar. Saying ‘it will get better’ is so cliche. We all know it will but, it does nothing to lesson the pain now.

I think I’m gonna start a sex site called “Sex with Strings”. Meaning…yeah you can hook up for sex but the focus is also on finding someone compatible out of bed as much as in bed. Wouldn’t that be a gas!? I wonder if it would go over well. I’m obviously trying to make light of things here. However, I do believe that our culture has these polarity in regards to sex and relationships. It’s always “looking for long term LTR not hookups” or “looking for hookups only“. Why can’t you look for both? I know it ties into our irrational need to conform to the hetero morality. Lets face it folks, men are wired differently than women. So when you take women out of the equation, it doesn’t make sense to try and apply rules that were never meant for same sex relationships. DUH! I’m not saying monogamy doesn’t have a place in same sex LTR’s, (which so many often intepret I do), just that we need to be honest w/ourselves and our partners about our needs/desires. It’s that simple.

Ok, I’m totally off focus here but that’s it for now. I need to get ready for work.

Straight-Acting?

I’m going on a rant today.

Does anyone get annoyed when you see those “straight-acting” logo’s that are numbered to represent how “straight-acting” you are? I absolutely detest those things. When I encounter them online, my respect for said person drops significantly. Probably not fair on my part but I can’t help it.

I’m loathe to admit it but when the site (no, I won’t link to it) first came out years (and I do mean years) ago, I took the test. I have an excuse as I was barely out of my teens and still ignorant. Even then, I was immediately disappointed w/the questions. Questions that are completely biased. Not to mention, it perpetuates the negative backward view our society has developed of what it means to be a “masculine” man. For example, if you enjoy gardening, that drops your point scale significantly. I know some pretty hot fucking landscapers who sweat more masculinity than some of these queens who wear their logo’s like a badge of honor.

I’m not bitter, nope, uh-huh, not me. (I just think we have enough battles to fight w/o fostering internalized homophobia amongst ourselves.)

Pain or Pride?

The weekend fast approaches and with it comes Gay Pride celebration. The city is already a buzz w/visitors arriving early. The Castro is crawling w/tourists and newbies gawking, giggling, laughing, etc. Not that I mind at all. The eye candy is always stimulating. It just makes things a bit difficult when you are trying to get from point M to point Q and everyone stops w/o notice in the middle of the sidewalk. No, I don’t mind at all.

My annoyance is fleeting however. I support Pride celebrations 100%. That said, I’ve already noticed the pride-bashing on several blogs. Gays who think they are above pride or look down on it because it shows the more ‘colorful’ side of our community. I, for one, am grateful for the more flamboyant side of our culture. After all, they helped to jump start our movement in the first place. The excuse that it does nothing but hurt our cause doesn’t hold water in my opinion. The only people who dislike pride celebrations hate us already. Oh and the pathetic attempt at ‘decency in front of children’? Oh please! My straight parents inflicted way more harm on me than seeing a half naked man/woman at a parade ever could.

I guess the point I am trying, not so elegantly, to make is Pride is not about all the hoopla you see at parades. It is about what you feel inside. Acceptance of yourself. The realization that you are not a freak, a disease, or an abomination as so many would have you believe. You are a human being, like every other, born into an imperfect world. A world that, for all it’s advances, hasn’t managed to grow up yet. Empower yourself this Pride. Whether you’re out on float dancing your ass off or home, as usual, doing what it is you do, take a moment to reflect and be happy w/the life you’ve been given. Good or bad, it is what you make of it. That is true of all of us – gay,straight, bi, whatever.

Weekend Warrior

Other than my overtime on Saturday, the weekend was nice. Bobby came down from Vallejo to hang w/moi. He has been bugging me to go to the Watergarden in San Jose. I finally relented. I figured worst case scenario I could lay out and get some sun on the buns. Their only call to fame is the nice patio. Course, it ain’t that nice for the price. And as it turned out, Bobby didn’t have a good time and was sourly disappointed. I on the other hand had a decent time and managed to get some sun as well.

I was a bit bummed I didn’t catch the opening of Batman Begins. However, I’ll probably catch it this weekend. Anyone else in my crew that didn’t see it, drop me a line.

Work is a pain. Our numbers are so low people are getting mandatoried almost daily now. Pray nothing happens here as we are not staffed to handle it if it does. I work enough voluntary overtime to avoid mandatory usually but it continues to get worse.

I’m behind on my blogroll. I’m been rolling thru today trying to catch up. So much going on lately everywhere it seems. Is it because today is the first day of summer? dunno.

BCC Meet & Greet II

Ok, so here are the pics I promised.

#1 Kitten on the Keys doing a quck “kitty pose” for the camera.

kitty pose

#2 Here is Kitton on the Keys BEFORE the wardrobe malfunction. (Janet is furious!)

Wardrobe

#3 OH, here is that “guitar player” I mentioned…..*how did that get in there*

Lead Guitar Man

#4 PepperSpray in full glam doing IT!

PepperSpray!
If you look just inside the bent arm of the Lead Singer in Stripes, you can see my mug poking out. I was helping w/the sound stage.

#5 Last but not least, me forcing a smile after a LONG day.

Tired Moby

Me Man, You Woman…oomf oomf!

Thanks to Johnny is a Man for the fantastic link to this post. By far, one of the most eloquent statements I’ve ever read. While a bit on the derogatory side, it summed up a huge chunk of how I feel about internalized homophobia in our community.

(snip)
This Rocco queen is pissing me off. He’s currently trotting out little more than a kernal of experience (along with several dollops of resentment towards the gay community) as evidence supporting the same tired, warmed-over horseshit about how uppity gays who get bashed were really asking for it because they weren’t walking around in a constant state of siege.

(snip)
Basically hes saying that gays have gotten uppity, let their guard down, and should simply accept the fact that if they behave too much like fags, they shouldnt be surprised when they get bashed. And how reassuring an argument it is that all you need to do to prevent getting bashed is butch it up, and if you cant or wont conform to the macho code, tough shit.

Having heard the issue of masculinity beaten to and fro like an old dog it’s refreshing to see a better perspective. More and more we (as gays) are beginning to see beyond the shallow confines of the implied prerequisites of being a “man” in this country.