Category: gay

Hard Gay?

I’m fond of teasing my compadres at work and they me. Today, we were laughing about some of the reality shows on TV these days and I made a passing comment “that is so gay”. Apparently, coming from a gay man, my straight counterparts found that extremely hilarious. One of the more macho guys laughed so hard he fell off his chair. I didn’t really say it to be funny. However, it made the rounds all over the room. I guess if you are out and gay and you call something else gay, it’s uber-gay! Who knew?

And has anyone else heard of the “hard gay” guy from Japan? My counter-part, kristaki, has and finds him utterly hilarious as well. What say you?

Gay High Holy Day

Next to Gay Pride, the Folsom St. Fair is the biggest gay event of the year here in SF. It is also the 2nd largest source of event income for the city. Some call it a debacle others call it a glorious celebration of sexuality and leather. Whatever you call it, it delivers a massive turnout of gays from all over the world. Oddly enough, I’ll be able to attend this year.

Normally, I work the event w/BCC but since I resigned this week that won’t happen. In brief, too much drama and very little support. They don’t care so neither do I. It was a chore I used to love and now it’s become a major pain in my ass. Not only that, I discovered today they are getting way overcharged for their domain hosting account. I’ve been trying to get’em to switch for months and months. Maybe now they will listen. Of course, I don’t give a rats tooty anymore. It means one less thing on my plate so there is a small silver lining on this cloud.

Work is busy as hell. I’m on so many damn committees I can’t keep up. Not to mention, I started a newsletter. OY! I got very discouraged this week from people’s petty bitching but that is the nature of the beast so deal with it right? Lots of changes in the works, all good so far. Keep your fingers crossed.

Home life is no different. NO social life so nothing new to update there. My friend Trev from Houston is coming to visit for the Fair. I took the week off as originally I was involved w/work for three different charities over Folsom weekend. Now that I’ve resigned from BCC, I’ll have more time to spend w/him. I hope my karma can survive the hit. (kidding of course) It will be odd to actually attend the fair instead of working it for a change. I also heard a dirty rumor that joe.my.god is coming to town.

I found a good bid for a painter. He is supposed to finish the job just in time for my friends visit so I’m excited. Of course, this means I have to put the damn entertainment center together now. @#$%!

Not No But Hell NO

I got dished today. Even harder than last time. Even moi gets kicked to the curb sometimes.

I’ve been seeing this guy around town for awhile now. At least a year. Usually in the gay ghetto or ghayto as I call it. Now my gaydar is pretty good but my nookie-dar is even better. But, I admit this guy had me a little stumped. He’d give me just enough signals to think he was interested but then he’d walk away. And for clarity, what I’d observed of said fella, I liked. I fancied him enough to consider asking him out. I know I know, God forbid I actually go on a date vs a booty call.

Today, I’m at Daddybucks catching up on some charity work. I see him as I enter and again w/the glances. As fate would have it, the only open seat was directly behind him just inside (he was outside). I sit down, setup, and start working. Every so often he literally turns far enough around to look at me. And the looks are coming fast and strong so I decide to return the favor. He is eating up. Then, status quo, he gets up and leaves. I’m miffed but not over annoyed at this point. Twenty minutes later he comes back. Not one glance this time. He spends a few minutes in conversation w/the bear congregation in front then comes inside. My first thought was he was coming over to say hi. Nay. He sits down w/this guy on the bench along the wall. Next to me but slightly to the back. I’m figuring he is using this as an excuse to get close enough to spark a conversation. Nay again fellow blogger. No, as it turns out he and this guy are “meeting” for the first time and a very intimate conversation ensues. Soon to be followed by some fumbling and petting.

At this point, I’m a little disgusted. I mean come on. Here you are going all gooey eyes for me and you turn and start rotating this guys crank right in front of me. I know I shouldn’t have been but I was pissed. After a few minutes, I packed up and left. (On a side note, this gave me the impetus to get my ass home to do laundry.)

So being a more than a little disappointed, it hasn’t ruined my mood. It’s been a hard couple of weeks and frankly, I don’t have time to let such nonsense ruin my day. However, I’m amazed at how fickle fags can be sometimes. I’m trying not to sound like a hypocrite here. I get around and it’s no secret I’m generous w/the nookie. However, I don’t “work” someone that hard and then switch to the next fella right in front of them!

Men. ba humbug Why couldn’t I have been a lesbian? (g)

No More Leather

I was gonna do a vidcast of this post but since I’m not at home at the moment, text will have to do.

Gay high holy day has finally come to an end and I have never been so glad to peel out of leather.  Leather I’ve been in since 10:00am this morning. Boy was I sticky!  Who’s bright ideas was it anyway for gay boys to fancy leather?  Even though, I don’t think I’ve gotten so many comments on my butt in a long time.  I’m all cleaned up now and catching a late bite at the local feed trough.

Dore Alley was pretty good this year from what I could see.  I worked the BCC booth most of the day.  The weather was perfect!  Not too hot and not too chilly.  If you’ve ever been to Dore or Folsom, it’s your typical fare of boys, daddy’s, tourists, and freaks extraodinaire. And I say freaks in the nicest possible way.  But why is it the people you don’t wanna see naked are always the ones that are?  Ugggh!  I almost told one guy I’d pay him to put his clothes back on.

I didn’t run into a sinlge blogger though.  I was very disappointed none of the clan stopped by to say hi.  In lieu of the regular group, several previously unknown readers stopped by to say hi.   One guy started yelling half a block away.  I thought at first someone had died or something.  (See James, I told you I’d mention it.)

Other than that, the day went pretty well.  The calendar men for this year seem really good together.  No premadonna’s at all.  Which is odd.  There’s always one or two in the group.  Not only did they work well together but they were courteous and respectful the whole time.  I was very impressed.

And, if you must know, yes I was a dirty slut.  You were expecting less?  I can report my jaw is still sore today.  *smile*

And how was your weekend?

Gaydar

No not the website but the mythical skill of devining if someone is gay or not. First, let me say gaydar is never 100%. However, some have a knack for picking the ‘mo’s out of a crowd, myself included.

I always get a giggle out of guys who go out of their way to hide the fact their gay. That, in itself, is a topic for another day. I tease my straight counterparts w/ “I can smell a fellow homo at 500 paces! The eyes are the quickest give away. I’m a roamer. My eyes are always roaming. I can’t help it. The quick glance or stare is always the easiest to spot. Or they look you up and down and then quickly look away. Ding! Then there are the guys who avoid eye contact in attempt to foil your signal. Little do they realize that’s also a dead give away. Duh! Oh and when you are sitting in a steam room w/a semi, I think it’s pretty obvious too.

In other less interesting news, I called in sick yesterday. I feel fine but my carpel tunnel was flaring up so I gave my fingers the day off. I have an ergo keyboard at home/work which is a god send. My case isn’t that bad however, I also have a light case of arthritis in my hands (not the crippling kind). When the two flare up together it tends to give me grief. My roomies works a 9 to 5’er so we took the opportunity to go shopping at Pottery Barn. He felt left out the other day when I did my power shopping at Ikea. We needed a few more knick-knacks for the living room. We have very different tastes it seems. We are making headway though. He likes ultra contemporary and I tend to like lots of hardwoods w/strong lines. Thank goodness we agree on colors.


Oh, and I bought a new watch (again) today. I managed to break the last one. Which is why I rarely spend over a $100 on a watch. I’m hard on my toys.

Sigh III

My last post yesterday brought up a lot of painful memories. It’s no wonder I’m feeling more than a little lonely today. Yeah, I still yearn for a partner in life. Yeah, I’d love to find a love as strong as the first one. The cluster fuck w/Bent Collective shows I’m still willing. But should I sacrifice myself in the process? Should I conform and be a ‘good little faggot’ to save face within our community? Should I change who I am and pretend it’s all “ok”? Or, should I jump from one failed relationship to the next in the vain hope of finding some attention? (Say it w/me kiddies . . . C-O – d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-c-e!) Been there, done that, still have the t-shirt. I’ve done that most of my adult life and frankly, I’m tired of it. I’m tired of settling for second best. (And I think I’ve probably blathered on about this before but sometimes a horse needs a good beating.)

No, what this trip brought home to me is that I am unwilling to succomb to such an ugly emotion. I’ve seen firsthand what loneliness does to a person when left to fester in your soul. No, I will not conform. No, I will not change who I am just to be accepted. No, I will not look in every failed relationship for validation. Yes, I must face the possiblity that I may always be alone. But in the end, I’ll be able to say I found some self-respect. Something I’ve been lacking my whole life.

I Really Am…

. . . a big ole slut! I’m on day two and I’m just finished from an interesting encounter at Cafe Express. Cafe Express is a local joint I swore I’d never eat at again after getting a case of food poisoning about 8 years ago. If you read w/any regularity, you’ve heard mention of the first time I got salmonella poisoning. Well, I got it at Cafe Express. The manager was a complete ass when I politely tried to inform him two weeks later. Yeah, it took me that long to recover. I was a sick puppy. So long story short, I showed him who could be the bigger ass before I left. (In my defense, I was a bit younger and prone to loud outbursts of anger to get my point across…oh wait, I still do that, nevermind.) Anyway, after driving around for 45 minutes trying to decide what to eat for lunch (sometimes too many choices is NOT a good thing), I decided to give’em another whirl. I almost didn’t recognize the place. Different interior and different menu all together. The meal was good. And the chicken was definitely cooked so no worries on a repeat case. It’s after the meal that’s the “meat and potatoes” of this post.

I’m sitting at my booth w/the laptop out catching up on some work from the BCC. (Yes the committee chair FINALLY sent me some work to do.) I glance up to see this rather strapping fellow looking at me. I didn’t think much of it and went back to work. A few minutes later, I see said fellow still looking and his hand is mysteriously absent below his table. Of course, being the opportunist that I am, I couldn’t let such a good opportunity go to waste. I’m giggling at this point thinking to myself, “only me”. Fast forward 20 minutes later, I’m at his place (which just happened to be around the corner) giving him a pickle tickle. A fun spontaneous encounter. In a word, HOT!

The only minus was afterwards he wanted to ‘get to know me’. Ugh! I had already explained I was visiting from SF and just in town for the week. What was he hoping for? I sorta tuned him out while getting dressed but in all the hubub I hear the words “long distance relationship”. *battle sirens noise* Red ALERT – ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS! Why did he have to go and ruin it? Here we just had a nice fun encounter doing the horizontal mambo and he goes and mentions the R word. Run Todo Run!

Oddly enough, I got more errands done today than I did all of last week at home. How’s that for comedy? I got some laundry done. Yes, I did the shameful act of packing dirty clothes. You know how much I love doing laundry. However, I also packed very light so I could get some shopping in while I’m here. I got 6 new pair of undies and socks, courtesy of the local Marshalls outlet. I also stopped by Radio Shack and pick up an adapter for the phone. So now, I’m back at Starbucks getting my updates in. Trev is off soon and we’ll head off to the gym. I haven’t been in a few days and I’m itchin’ for a good workout.

Pride II

I was jumping around and stumbled over Joe-my-god’s post about pride. He makes a great point and a powerful reminder. I’ve already shared my thoughts on Pride celebrations but I felt the need to weigh in again. If you aren’t part of “the scene” or “into the gays” but still identify as gay, that’s ok. Just don’t bash the rest of us. I usually try to avoid using such terms as they are completely subjective. Often times referring to a very limited portion of gay culture in general.

The mostly white bread, self-haters over at the LCR would have us believe drag queens, leather daddies, circuit boys, punk queers, etc are the doom to our culture and rights. You have it backwards boys. If anyone is holding us back, it’s you and your conformist attitudes. You make the same mistake our straight counterparts make. I shouldn’t have to conform to your views just to have equal rights. I was born a human being. That gives me the same rights of any other human. Who I sleep with and how often isn’t part of the equation. I don’t need to ‘play nice’ to gain equal treatment.

I’ve always been an oddity unto myself. I’ve never really felt like I fit in w/any “scene”. I sort of lurk on the fridges of all of’em. I go to clubs/parties. I go to drag shows. I go to leather bars. I workout often. I’ve even been seen in a few goth clubs. I also go to sex clubs bathouses, etc. None of which defines me, I just happen to like aspects of each. Some might say, I’m the ‘typical fag’. Does that somehow preclude me from being able to share my life w/another man? Leave my wordly possession to who I choose? Or prevent me from being able to celebrate the hard-earned freedoms gained in the last 20 years? In a word, NO.

Our narrow-minded brethern have mistakingly assumed that by “fitting in” we can advance our cause. How’s that going boys? From out here, I’m not seeing it. Maybe you should spend less time worrying about us ‘freaks’, and more time trying to accept that not everyone wants to be a corporate logo queen.

As pride week approaches and parades all over the world march the cause, take a moment to look back on your life. The pain, the sorrow, the disappointment is not unique to one. Many of us have “been there, done that”. Rejoyce in your freedoms and in each other. I know I sure as hell plan to.

Latter Days

Movie critique ahead. Not many newer gay movies make my list of faves so I felt the need to share.

Tivo happen to record this movie for me a while back. I got around to watching it last night and was impressed. Well, let me rephrase that. I was impressed with the acting. Several great actors brought life to a plot almost completely devoid of complexity. Oh, the storyline is clear enough just lacking in development and a bit rushed. There are several very touching scenes throughout the movie w/the end being a good tear-jerker.

The story revolves around a mormon boy who moves to LA as part of his upbringing to “spread the word”. In turn, his neighbor is the typical hot but shallow gay boy who’s life revolves around his next conquest. A touching but fast love story follows w/several very undeveloped side stories thrown in for flavor. Surprisingly, there were several sizzling sex scenes that were very believable as well as stimulating. (The opening scene starts out w/a very erotic encounter)

All in all, it’s worth renting on DVD if you haven’t seen it.

You Wanna Stick That Where?

Well, since so many of you actually do read on weekends, I thought you’d get a kick out of this. The new roomie is all moved in. I sorta neglected to mention he has done porn in the past. I’ve known him so long I think I tend to subconsciously tune that part of his life out. *g* He is like a ‘sista’ to me so the thought of him naked isn’t exactly appealing. I’m white trash but lesbian sex is just revolting. LOLOL (j/k of course) For the record, he does have a rather manly sexy look. I wouldn’t touch him to scratch him.
🙂

On the way to do laundry today, I was cornered by one of my neighbors. A neighbor who normally maintains an aloofness during our brief interactions. Our conversation went something like this…

Neighbor: Hi Moby, How you doing?
Me: I’m doing fine

Neighbor: I noticed your new roommate moved in last night. Can I ask you something?
Me: Yeah, he is in, fire away.

(Insert look of confusion on how to phrase his next words)
Neighbor: Does your roommate do porn?
Me: Uh, yeah he has in the past, why?

Neighbor: OMG! Is he *** *****?
Me: Yeah, I think that’s right.

(very excited now)
Neighbor: Can you introduce us? I’m his biggest fan. I would be in your debt if you could arrange it.
Me: Uh…well, sure. Can I finish my laundry first?

(frown of disappointment)
Neighbor: Oh, of course. Here is my home # and my cell. Call me when you are done.
Me: Ok, well good to see you.

Neighbor: Oh yeah, good to see you too. You will call right? When you are done?
Me: Yes, I’ll give you a shout.

Lord! What have I got myself into?