Category: gay

Gaydar

No not the website but the mythical skill of devining if someone is gay or not. First, let me say gaydar is never 100%. However, some have a knack for picking the ‘mo’s out of a crowd, myself included.

I always get a giggle out of guys who go out of their way to hide the fact their gay. That, in itself, is a topic for another day. I tease my straight counterparts w/ “I can smell a fellow homo at 500 paces! The eyes are the quickest give away. I’m a roamer. My eyes are always roaming. I can’t help it. The quick glance or stare is always the easiest to spot. Or they look you up and down and then quickly look away. Ding! Then there are the guys who avoid eye contact in attempt to foil your signal. Little do they realize that’s also a dead give away. Duh! Oh and when you are sitting in a steam room w/a semi, I think it’s pretty obvious too.

In other less interesting news, I called in sick yesterday. I feel fine but my carpel tunnel was flaring up so I gave my fingers the day off. I have an ergo keyboard at home/work which is a god send. My case isn’t that bad however, I also have a light case of arthritis in my hands (not the crippling kind). When the two flare up together it tends to give me grief. My roomies works a 9 to 5’er so we took the opportunity to go shopping at Pottery Barn. He felt left out the other day when I did my power shopping at Ikea. We needed a few more knick-knacks for the living room. We have very different tastes it seems. We are making headway though. He likes ultra contemporary and I tend to like lots of hardwoods w/strong lines. Thank goodness we agree on colors.


Oh, and I bought a new watch (again) today. I managed to break the last one. Which is why I rarely spend over a $100 on a watch. I’m hard on my toys.

Sigh III

My last post yesterday brought up a lot of painful memories. It’s no wonder I’m feeling more than a little lonely today. Yeah, I still yearn for a partner in life. Yeah, I’d love to find a love as strong as the first one. The cluster fuck w/Bent Collective shows I’m still willing. But should I sacrifice myself in the process? Should I conform and be a ‘good little faggot’ to save face within our community? Should I change who I am and pretend it’s all “ok”? Or, should I jump from one failed relationship to the next in the vain hope of finding some attention? (Say it w/me kiddies . . . C-O – d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-c-e!) Been there, done that, still have the t-shirt. I’ve done that most of my adult life and frankly, I’m tired of it. I’m tired of settling for second best. (And I think I’ve probably blathered on about this before but sometimes a horse needs a good beating.)

No, what this trip brought home to me is that I am unwilling to succomb to such an ugly emotion. I’ve seen firsthand what loneliness does to a person when left to fester in your soul. No, I will not conform. No, I will not change who I am just to be accepted. No, I will not look in every failed relationship for validation. Yes, I must face the possiblity that I may always be alone. But in the end, I’ll be able to say I found some self-respect. Something I’ve been lacking my whole life.

I Really Am…

. . . a big ole slut! I’m on day two and I’m just finished from an interesting encounter at Cafe Express. Cafe Express is a local joint I swore I’d never eat at again after getting a case of food poisoning about 8 years ago. If you read w/any regularity, you’ve heard mention of the first time I got salmonella poisoning. Well, I got it at Cafe Express. The manager was a complete ass when I politely tried to inform him two weeks later. Yeah, it took me that long to recover. I was a sick puppy. So long story short, I showed him who could be the bigger ass before I left. (In my defense, I was a bit younger and prone to loud outbursts of anger to get my point across…oh wait, I still do that, nevermind.) Anyway, after driving around for 45 minutes trying to decide what to eat for lunch (sometimes too many choices is NOT a good thing), I decided to give’em another whirl. I almost didn’t recognize the place. Different interior and different menu all together. The meal was good. And the chicken was definitely cooked so no worries on a repeat case. It’s after the meal that’s the “meat and potatoes” of this post.

I’m sitting at my booth w/the laptop out catching up on some work from the BCC. (Yes the committee chair FINALLY sent me some work to do.) I glance up to see this rather strapping fellow looking at me. I didn’t think much of it and went back to work. A few minutes later, I see said fellow still looking and his hand is mysteriously absent below his table. Of course, being the opportunist that I am, I couldn’t let such a good opportunity go to waste. I’m giggling at this point thinking to myself, “only me”. Fast forward 20 minutes later, I’m at his place (which just happened to be around the corner) giving him a pickle tickle. A fun spontaneous encounter. In a word, HOT!

The only minus was afterwards he wanted to ‘get to know me’. Ugh! I had already explained I was visiting from SF and just in town for the week. What was he hoping for? I sorta tuned him out while getting dressed but in all the hubub I hear the words “long distance relationship”. *battle sirens noise* Red ALERT – ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS! Why did he have to go and ruin it? Here we just had a nice fun encounter doing the horizontal mambo and he goes and mentions the R word. Run Todo Run!

Oddly enough, I got more errands done today than I did all of last week at home. How’s that for comedy? I got some laundry done. Yes, I did the shameful act of packing dirty clothes. You know how much I love doing laundry. However, I also packed very light so I could get some shopping in while I’m here. I got 6 new pair of undies and socks, courtesy of the local Marshalls outlet. I also stopped by Radio Shack and pick up an adapter for the phone. So now, I’m back at Starbucks getting my updates in. Trev is off soon and we’ll head off to the gym. I haven’t been in a few days and I’m itchin’ for a good workout.

Pride II

I was jumping around and stumbled over Joe-my-god’s post about pride. He makes a great point and a powerful reminder. I’ve already shared my thoughts on Pride celebrations but I felt the need to weigh in again. If you aren’t part of “the scene” or “into the gays” but still identify as gay, that’s ok. Just don’t bash the rest of us. I usually try to avoid using such terms as they are completely subjective. Often times referring to a very limited portion of gay culture in general.

The mostly white bread, self-haters over at the LCR would have us believe drag queens, leather daddies, circuit boys, punk queers, etc are the doom to our culture and rights. You have it backwards boys. If anyone is holding us back, it’s you and your conformist attitudes. You make the same mistake our straight counterparts make. I shouldn’t have to conform to your views just to have equal rights. I was born a human being. That gives me the same rights of any other human. Who I sleep with and how often isn’t part of the equation. I don’t need to ‘play nice’ to gain equal treatment.

I’ve always been an oddity unto myself. I’ve never really felt like I fit in w/any “scene”. I sort of lurk on the fridges of all of’em. I go to clubs/parties. I go to drag shows. I go to leather bars. I workout often. I’ve even been seen in a few goth clubs. I also go to sex clubs bathouses, etc. None of which defines me, I just happen to like aspects of each. Some might say, I’m the ‘typical fag’. Does that somehow preclude me from being able to share my life w/another man? Leave my wordly possession to who I choose? Or prevent me from being able to celebrate the hard-earned freedoms gained in the last 20 years? In a word, NO.

Our narrow-minded brethern have mistakingly assumed that by “fitting in” we can advance our cause. How’s that going boys? From out here, I’m not seeing it. Maybe you should spend less time worrying about us ‘freaks’, and more time trying to accept that not everyone wants to be a corporate logo queen.

As pride week approaches and parades all over the world march the cause, take a moment to look back on your life. The pain, the sorrow, the disappointment is not unique to one. Many of us have “been there, done that”. Rejoyce in your freedoms and in each other. I know I sure as hell plan to.

Latter Days

Movie critique ahead. Not many newer gay movies make my list of faves so I felt the need to share.

Tivo happen to record this movie for me a while back. I got around to watching it last night and was impressed. Well, let me rephrase that. I was impressed with the acting. Several great actors brought life to a plot almost completely devoid of complexity. Oh, the storyline is clear enough just lacking in development and a bit rushed. There are several very touching scenes throughout the movie w/the end being a good tear-jerker.

The story revolves around a mormon boy who moves to LA as part of his upbringing to “spread the word”. In turn, his neighbor is the typical hot but shallow gay boy who’s life revolves around his next conquest. A touching but fast love story follows w/several very undeveloped side stories thrown in for flavor. Surprisingly, there were several sizzling sex scenes that were very believable as well as stimulating. (The opening scene starts out w/a very erotic encounter)

All in all, it’s worth renting on DVD if you haven’t seen it.

You Wanna Stick That Where?

Well, since so many of you actually do read on weekends, I thought you’d get a kick out of this. The new roomie is all moved in. I sorta neglected to mention he has done porn in the past. I’ve known him so long I think I tend to subconsciously tune that part of his life out. *g* He is like a ‘sista’ to me so the thought of him naked isn’t exactly appealing. I’m white trash but lesbian sex is just revolting. LOLOL (j/k of course) For the record, he does have a rather manly sexy look. I wouldn’t touch him to scratch him.
🙂

On the way to do laundry today, I was cornered by one of my neighbors. A neighbor who normally maintains an aloofness during our brief interactions. Our conversation went something like this…

Neighbor: Hi Moby, How you doing?
Me: I’m doing fine

Neighbor: I noticed your new roommate moved in last night. Can I ask you something?
Me: Yeah, he is in, fire away.

(Insert look of confusion on how to phrase his next words)
Neighbor: Does your roommate do porn?
Me: Uh, yeah he has in the past, why?

Neighbor: OMG! Is he *** *****?
Me: Yeah, I think that’s right.

(very excited now)
Neighbor: Can you introduce us? I’m his biggest fan. I would be in your debt if you could arrange it.
Me: Uh…well, sure. Can I finish my laundry first?

(frown of disappointment)
Neighbor: Oh, of course. Here is my home # and my cell. Call me when you are done.
Me: Ok, well good to see you.

Neighbor: Oh yeah, good to see you too. You will call right? When you are done?
Me: Yes, I’ll give you a shout.

Lord! What have I got myself into?

Drama 102

*Today’s little rant involves high school shinanigans so if you are above such things, feel free to skip it.*

I figured it was time to put my two cents in since everyone has been pounding my inbox for my views on it. I’m flattered so many of you value my thoughts. However, I encourage you to make up your own minds.

Some drama has been occuring in the blogworld as of late. And you know my feelings on drama. I stayed out of it as I felt it wasn’t really my fight. However, the fallout over it has involved me in a very real world way and I’m compelled to speak up. In a nutshell this little drama started over God of Biscuits feeling slighted by comments on Bent Collective’s blog. So, in return, he felt the need to strike back w/allegations of his own. Allegations that BC is a complete farse, it’s writers are one person and the blog itself is all lies. A tale w/all the makings of a high school bitch fight wouldn’t you say?
Continue reading Drama 102

Oooops!

Everyone was taking so many pics over the past weekend, I forgot that I actually snapped off a few. I guess I’m the only one who got the group shot. I remembered after hearing brettcajuns podcast this morning.

Left to right brettcajun, Kel, Dan turning 40, woof brandon, Tony, homer, Steve, Jeff, Sean, & Glenn

Not to be left out, I had to get one w/me in it. hehehe
Moby, Chad Fox, brettcajun, Woof Brandon, Tony, & homer.

Finito

So the blogger weekend is over. brettcajun and homer are probably already home as I write this. Chad Fox was kind enough to overload us w/pics. We got some quality goof time in as well. I’m uploading them to pics.mobius.name. It’s active now but only a few pics loaded so far. Check back later for the 30-40 pics I’m keeping. *click on the top right icon to enlarge it so you can really see the pics.*

What can I say about the weekend? Was it worth it? Did I measure up? Did they? You probably know the answers already but I’ll bang it out anyway. The boys already know how I feel about them so I’ll share qualities in each that stood out.

My impressions of brettcajun? Charming and sweet come right to the front. I wasn’t too worried about Brett. I thought we’d hit it off. I did discover he has a naivete which makes him absolutely adorable. And while he tries to act out on his blog, I think he is really a bit shy. This trip was good for him, IMHO. He got a chance to come out of his shell. No judgements or fear of rejection, just a chance to connect w/other gay guys. I hope the honest feedback he got from everyone stays w/him as he returns to the normalcy of home.

And homer? Actually, I was a little worried homer and I wouldn’t connect much. Worried he might find me over the top. I’m glad my assumptions were off the mark. homer is very witty. The classic smart ass mixed in with a wholesome sensability. You don’t quite get that from his blog. He is also very gracious and kind. Traits I always find admirable. (Even though he didn’t fix my toilet as promised. )

Tony (the lurker one. *g*) Tony doesn’t have a blog but has been a regular commentor for months now. And while we all had fun w/him, I don’t really feel I am any more connected to him than I was before. He is very nice in person however, he didn’t really open up much. I’m not sure if that was because I was a bad host or if he is just reserved. I definitely have an extroverted personality. I think Brett and homer fed off of that. I’m left to wonder if that had the opposite affect on Tony. He hung out with us all weekend but I never really heard much from him. I’m hoping all the bloggers he met will spur him into doing his own blog so we can all get to know him better. *I’m not very good at being subtle. You think he’ll get the hint?*

homer and Brett were great houseguests. I think we were all a little nervous but that melted away. In it’s place, friendships were forged. Not only considerate but they were well-behaved and I had no worries about leaving them unattended. They are both welcome back anytime.

The rest is an accounting of our ramblings to help explain some of the pics. Feel free to read or skip. I know you’re just here for the ‘purdy’ pictures.
Continue reading Finito

I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Up!

Last night I was hit w/the realization I’ve fallen for someone. Someone, I tried very hard not to fall for. The catch is it wasn’t the someone I was with at the time. I was out and about getting into some trouble of the carnal kind. Before long, I found myself basking in the attentions of a hot man. A man I’d normally fall over myself vying for his attention. All the while I’m thinking of someone else entirely.

Today, I have all these thoughts rolling around in my head. I haven’t made sense of them yet. What am I feeling? Excited, scared, worried, and thrilled all at the same time.

Excited that I’m still capable of feeling such things.
Scared I won’t measure up. Rejection really is a bitch. (old habits die hard)
Worried I’ll overcompensate.
And completely thrilled that said guy digs me at all.

So while my cacophony of inner voices fight amongst themselves, I’ll move on. The blogroll is hopping lately w/rants about our [gays] self-hatred. Specifically, groups within our clan who obsess and condemn over stereotypes and behaviors they see as undesirable. I’ll take the drag queen any day thank you. If you are silly enough to think that you are somehow better than someone else because of how well you ‘fit in’, how big your cock is, or how butch you look, you have more issues than even me. And frankly, I only have enough room in my carry on for my baggage. If you are just dying to get your two cents in, hop over to bent collective, joe.my.god, and my previous listing from Aaron to check it out.

And speaking of me, I finally got around to updating the bio page. I’m still tweaking it and should have it posted sometime by early next week. I know your foaming at the mouth to hear more so I’ll promptly update once it’s posted.