I attended the 2nd official Choxita de Badlands Brunch today.
I arrived to find kel playing Martha Stewart in the kitchen. Of course, kel gurl has a much fitter waist line than Martha. He is also lacking a prison record but who am I to nit-pick.
Oh yes, there are many more to come. For some reason, I was the only one w/a camera today.1 Continue reading Nothing to See Here… (II)
A very unfriendly lady told me today that “those people” don’t belong here, referring to a homeless couple who had setup camp on her block in a rather affluent part of town. Granted the homeless situation here is a major problem. Being a progressive city, SF has a large population of homeless folks. To me that sounds more like a contradiction than a definition. Yet, you find the same problem in every large city. It is not a crime to be homeless. And it should not preclude you from the human rights granted to any other human being. An important distinction often forgotten.
When you deal w/the homeless as much as I do in my line of work, it is easy to forget these are human beings. You see people who, for a variety of reasons, have been discarded by society. And it’s not a pretty sight seeing a human devolved to such a lowly form of existence. Living in squalor, stink, and filth, manners and cleanliness become unafforded niceties that are soon forgotten. In this scenario it is easy to forget. Yet, we musn’t. If we, as a society, allow people to live this way then we must also bear the burden of supporting them. We no longer live in age of wilderness where ever man is his own world and anything outside that world is unimportant. We live in an age where our planet is fast becoming overpopulated and the driving force behind our existence is money and/or the accumulation of wealth. Well friends, that existence isn’t free. You only need to look in your slums and ghettos to realize it.
I can’t help but notice the similarities in how the homeless are viewed here and how gays are viewed elsewhere. Homeless folks here are often mistreated, overgeneralized, stereotyped, looked down upon, and regarded as a stain on society. Sound familiar?
I’m always bitching to folks about the distinction between things. The same could be said of same sex marriage. There is a clear line between the civil and religious benefits of a marriage contract in this country. However, over time the line has become blurred because there was no reason to make a distinction. Now there is. We need to refocus our efforts on reminding law-makers of the separation of church and state clause in the constitution. The State needs to recognize we deseve equal treatment under the law. However, we [gays] need to remember a religious institution does not have to agree or support our right to marry. Nor do they have to allow us to “marry” on their property. Another distinction often lost in the flurry of self-rigtheousness indignation.
Very important dinstinctions like these are increasingly forgotten in our society today. We should be mor than a little frightened of that.
Gay High Holy day has come and gone and the city is slowly winding down returning to it’s normal self. There are lots of “boys” still hanging out. The difference today is no more leather. They’ve put all their drag away and switched back into regular garb. The scruff and 5 O’clock shadow promptly shaved away and replaced w/some much needed moisturizer. Yes, gone are the wanna-be daddies. In it’s place, packs of boys1 roaming the streets w/shopping bags and designer sunglasses in tow. I can’t hep but see the irony in it all. We go out of our way to dispel the negative stereotypes of the past while creating new ones for the future. The point here kiddies is you don’t have to dress up to have a good time. Go as yourself for a change. I just can’t help but laugh at how we shun drag queens but we uplift leather drag. Don’t kid yourself, it is drag just in a different fashion. (pun intended)
For all it’s glamour, Folsom has become a victim of it’s own growth. The event was started by the leather community as a way to give back to the community whilst celebrating diversity and sexual freedom. In the early years, it was truly an event not to be missed. And like many overlooked distinctions in our culture, Folsom has become just another catch phrase for corporate sponsorship and excuse to party to excess2. I can’t tell you the number of gasps I got when folks learned I had a free ticket to both Magnitude and Real Bad3, neither of which I went to. God forbid I miss out on the ‘it parties‘, whatever that means.
For my part, I had a good time at Folsom. But I have a good time at almost anything I set my mind too. I think next year I’ll work the event as an EMT or skip it all together. Too much focus is placed on the look and parties vs the meaning behind it these days. The newness has long worn off for me and I already live most of the things Folsom is supposed to represent.
A nod here to We, Like Sheep4.
2 Please don’t confuse my rant as an open dislike for the fair. It offers so much to so many. Anytime someone has a chance to express themselves, whatever the reasons, I support that. My life is already an open expression so I guess the purpose of Folsom is lost on me.
3 Working for a charity involved in the community does have it’s rewards.
4 I totally stole his method of using footnotes as expressions. I just thought it fair to give him credit.
I’m fond of teasing my compadres at work and they me. Today, we were laughing about some of the reality shows on TV these days and I made a passing comment “that is so gay”. Apparently, coming from a gay man, my straight counterparts found that extremely hilarious. One of the more macho guys laughed so hard he fell off his chair. I didn’t really say it to be funny. However, it made the rounds all over the room. I guess if you are out and gay and you call something else gay, it’s uber-gay! Who knew?
And has anyone else heard of the “hard gay” guy from Japan? My counter-part, kristaki, has and finds him utterly hilarious as well. What say you?
Next to Gay Pride, the Folsom St. Fair is the biggest gay event of the year here in SF. It is also the 2nd largest source of event income for the city. Some call it a debacle others call it a glorious celebration of sexuality and leather. Whatever you call it, it delivers a massive turnout of gays from all over the world. Oddly enough, I’ll be able to attend this year.
Normally, I work the event w/BCC but since I resigned this week that won’t happen. In brief, too much drama and very little support. They don’t care so neither do I. It was a chore I used to love and now it’s become a major pain in my ass. Not only that, I discovered today they are getting way overcharged for their domain hosting account. I’ve been trying to get’em to switch for months and months. Maybe now they will listen. Of course, I don’t give a rats tooty anymore. It means one less thing on my plate so there is a small silver lining on this cloud.
Work is busy as hell. I’m on so many damn committees I can’t keep up. Not to mention, I started a newsletter. OY! I got very discouraged this week from people’s petty bitching but that is the nature of the beast so deal with it right? Lots of changes in the works, all good so far. Keep your fingers crossed.
Home life is no different. NO social life so nothing new to update there. My friend Trev from Houston is coming to visit for the Fair. I took the week off as originally I was involved w/work for three different charities over Folsom weekend. Now that I’ve resigned from BCC, I’ll have more time to spend w/him. I hope my karma can survive the hit. (kidding of course) It will be odd to actually attend the fair instead of working it for a change. I also heard a dirty rumor that joe.my.god is coming to town.
I found a good bid for a painter. He is supposed to finish the job just in time for my friends visit so I’m excited. Of course, this means I have to put the damn entertainment center together now. @#$%!
I got dished today. Even harder than last time. Even moi gets kicked to the curb sometimes.
I’ve been seeing this guy around town for awhile now. At least a year. Usually in the gay ghetto or ghayto as I call it. Now my gaydar is pretty good but my nookie-dar is even better. But, I admit this guy had me a little stumped. He’d give me just enough signals to think he was interested but then he’d walk away. And for clarity, what I’d observed of said fella, I liked. I fancied him enough to consider asking him out. I know I know, God forbid I actually go on a date vs a booty call.
Today, I’m at Daddybucks catching up on some charity work. I see him as I enter and again w/the glances. As fate would have it, the only open seat was directly behind him just inside (he was outside). I sit down, setup, and start working. Every so often he literally turns far enough around to look at me. And the looks are coming fast and strong so I decide to return the favor. He is eating up. Then, status quo, he gets up and leaves. I’m miffed but not over annoyed at this point. Twenty minutes later he comes back. Not one glance this time. He spends a few minutes in conversation w/the bear congregation in front then comes inside. My first thought was he was coming over to say hi. Nay. He sits down w/this guy on the bench along the wall. Next to me but slightly to the back. I’m figuring he is using this as an excuse to get close enough to spark a conversation. Nay again fellow blogger. No, as it turns out he and this guy are “meeting” for the first time and a very intimate conversation ensues. Soon to be followed by some fumbling and petting.
At this point, I’m a little disgusted. I mean come on. Here you are going all gooey eyes for me and you turn and start rotating this guys crank right in front of me. I know I shouldn’t have been but I was pissed. After a few minutes, I packed up and left. (On a side note, this gave me the impetus to get my ass home to do laundry.)
So being a more than a little disappointed, it hasn’t ruined my mood. It’s been a hard couple of weeks and frankly, I don’t have time to let such nonsense ruin my day. However, I’m amazed at how fickle fags can be sometimes. I’m trying not to sound like a hypocrite here. I get around and it’s no secret I’m generous w/the nookie. However, I don’t “work” someone that hard and then switch to the next fella right in front of them!
Men. ba humbug Why couldn’t I have been a lesbian? (g)
I was gonna do a vidcast of this post but since I’m not at home at the moment, text will have to do.
Gay high holy day has finally come to an end and I have never been so glad to peel out of leather. Leather I’ve been in since 10:00am this morning. Boy was I sticky! Who’s bright ideas was it anyway for gay boys to fancy leather? Even though, I don’t think I’ve gotten so many comments on my butt in a long time. I’m all cleaned up now and catching a late bite at the local feed trough.
Dore Alley was pretty good this year from what I could see. I worked the BCC booth most of the day. The weather was perfect! Not too hot and not too chilly. If you’ve ever been to Dore or Folsom, it’s your typical fare of boys, daddy’s, tourists, and freaks extraodinaire. And I say freaks in the nicest possible way. But why is it the people you don’t wanna see naked are always the ones that are? Ugggh! I almost told one guy I’d pay him to put his clothes back on.
I didn’t run into a sinlge blogger though. I was very disappointed none of the clan stopped by to say hi. In lieu of the regular group, several previously unknown readers stopped by to say hi. One guy started yelling half a block away. I thought at first someone had died or something. (See James, I told you I’d mention it.)
Other than that, the day went pretty well. The calendar men for this year seem really good together. No premadonna’s at all. Which is odd. There’s always one or two in the group. Not only did they work well together but they were courteous and respectful the whole time. I was very impressed.
And, if you must know, yes I was a dirty slut. You were expecting less? I can report my jaw is still sore today. *smile*
And how was your weekend?
No not the website but the mythical skill of devining if someone is gay or not. First, let me say gaydar is never 100%. However, some have a knack for picking the ‘mo’s out of a crowd, myself included.
I always get a giggle out of guys who go out of their way to hide the fact their gay. That, in itself, is a topic for another day. I tease my straight counterparts w/ “I can smell a fellow homo at 500 paces! The eyes are the quickest give away. I’m a roamer. My eyes are always roaming. I can’t help it. The quick glance or stare is always the easiest to spot. Or they look you up and down and then quickly look away. Ding! Then there are the guys who avoid eye contact in attempt to foil your signal. Little do they realize that’s also a dead give away. Duh! Oh and when you are sitting in a steam room w/a semi, I think it’s pretty obvious too.
In other less interesting news, I called in sick yesterday. I feel fine but my carpel tunnel was flaring up so I gave my fingers the day off. I have an ergo keyboard at home/work which is a god send. My case isn’t that bad however, I also have a light case of arthritis in my hands (not the crippling kind). When the two flare up together it tends to give me grief. My roomies works a 9 to 5’er so we took the opportunity to go shopping at Pottery Barn. He felt left out the other day when I did my power shopping at Ikea. We needed a few more knick-knacks for the living room. We have very different tastes it seems. We are making headway though. He likes ultra contemporary and I tend to like lots of hardwoods w/strong lines. Thank goodness we agree on colors.
Oh, and I bought a new watch (again) today. I managed to break the last one. Which is why I rarely spend over a $100 on a watch. I’m hard on my toys.
My last post yesterday brought up a lot of painful memories. It’s no wonder I’m feeling more than a little lonely today. Yeah, I still yearn for a partner in life. Yeah, I’d love to find a love as strong as the first one. The cluster fuck w/Bent Collective shows I’m still willing. But should I sacrifice myself in the process? Should I conform and be a ‘good little faggot’ to save face within our community? Should I change who I am and pretend it’s all “ok”? Or, should I jump from one failed relationship to the next in the vain hope of finding some attention? (Say it w/me kiddies . . . C-O – d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-c-e!) Been there, done that, still have the t-shirt. I’ve done that most of my adult life and frankly, I’m tired of it. I’m tired of settling for second best. (And I think I’ve probably blathered on about this before but sometimes a horse needs a good beating.)
No, what this trip brought home to me is that I am unwilling to succomb to such an ugly emotion. I’ve seen firsthand what loneliness does to a person when left to fester in your soul. No, I will not conform. No, I will not change who I am just to be accepted. No, I will not look in every failed relationship for validation. Yes, I must face the possiblity that I may always be alone. But in the end, I’ll be able to say I found some self-respect. Something I’ve been lacking my whole life.
. . . a big ole slut! I’m on day two and I’m just finished from an interesting encounter at Cafe Express. Cafe Express is a local joint I swore I’d never eat at again after getting a case of food poisoning about 8 years ago. If you read w/any regularity, you’ve heard mention of the first time I got salmonella poisoning. Well, I got it at Cafe Express. The manager was a complete ass when I politely tried to inform him two weeks later. Yeah, it took me that long to recover. I was a sick puppy. So long story short, I showed him who could be the bigger ass before I left. (In my defense, I was a bit younger and prone to loud outbursts of anger to get my point across…oh wait, I still do that, nevermind.) Anyway, after driving around for 45 minutes trying to decide what to eat for lunch (sometimes too many choices is NOT a good thing), I decided to give’em another whirl. I almost didn’t recognize the place. Different interior and different menu all together. The meal was good. And the chicken was definitely cooked so no worries on a repeat case. It’s after the meal that’s the “meat and potatoes” of this post.
I’m sitting at my booth w/the laptop out catching up on some work from the BCC. (Yes the committee chair FINALLY sent me some work to do.) I glance up to see this rather strapping fellow looking at me. I didn’t think much of it and went back to work. A few minutes later, I see said fellow still looking and his hand is mysteriously absent below his table. Of course, being the opportunist that I am, I couldn’t let such a good opportunity go to waste. I’m giggling at this point thinking to myself, “only me”. Fast forward 20 minutes later, I’m at his place (which just happened to be around the corner) giving him a pickle tickle. A fun spontaneous encounter. In a word, HOT!
The only minus was afterwards he wanted to ‘get to know me’. Ugh! I had already explained I was visiting from SF and just in town for the week. What was he hoping for? I sorta tuned him out while getting dressed but in all the hubub I hear the words “long distance relationship”. *battle sirens noise* Red ALERT – ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS! Why did he have to go and ruin it? Here we just had a nice fun encounter doing the horizontal mambo and he goes and mentions the R word. Run Todo Run!
Oddly enough, I got more errands done today than I did all of last week at home. How’s that for comedy? I got some laundry done. Yes, I did the shameful act of packing dirty clothes. You know how much I love doing laundry. However, I also packed very light so I could get some shopping in while I’m here. I got 6 new pair of undies and socks, courtesy of the local Marshalls outlet. I also stopped by Radio Shack and pick up an adapter for the phone. So now, I’m back at Starbucks getting my updates in. Trev is off soon and we’ll head off to the gym. I haven’t been in a few days and I’m itchin’ for a good workout.