Category: gay

Halloween From Hell

If you haven’t heard by now, there was several shootings at the Halloween event in the Castro last night. Today, the story is making nice soundbites across the blogosphere. If you read this blog on a regular basis you know where my insight comes from.

“Halloween in the Castro” used to be a really fantastic slice of San Francisco attended primarily by the neighborhood’s local gay/lesbian community. Over recent years the event has become a spectator event with 80% of current attendees from out of town. Since 2002, much violence has resulted, ruining this once-special event.

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While I am a huge fan of Halloween, I hope they cancel the event next year. I hope they increase the police presence and flat out turn people away. Call me a party-pooper but at least folks won’t get hurt for just trying to have some good old fashioned fun. The event is no longer about the neighborhood getting together for a night of innocent revelling. Instead, it’s a bunch of condescending outsiders looking for an excuse to cause mayhem. Well, here’s your sign. We don’t want you. If you can’t behave like a civilized human being, stay your ass at home and cause grief in your own neighborhoods.

Two wrongs don’t make a right but I can’t help it. My grandmother was a big believer in an “eye for an eye”. I don’t condone violence however, it’s times like these that make me doubt that conviction. Sometimes a good ass-whoopin’ is the only way to get thru to a pig-headed fool.

Hot Topics

Since google’s blogs all seem to be offline at the moment, I can’t check however, I’m pretty sure Joe.my.god knows he was featured in Advocates “Best Of” guide this month. I discovered him completely by accident while getting the hooves filed down today.

There he was big as life. Congrats big fella.

Rajun Cajun

Quite unexpectedly, I ran into an adorable cajun boy at the gym today. Not only sexy but turns out he is quite the sweetheart too. After our very enjoyable carnal encounter, I invited him to lunch and we had a great time hanging out. Don’t get me wrong, it was nothing more than good company. But, I forget sometimes how good ‘good company‘ feels. He was a most welcome distraction.

He is new to the city from brettcajun‘s neck of the woods, New Orleans. Aspiring actor, bartendar, and soon to be heart-breaker as well I bet. SF can be a hard city to live in if you can’t pay the bills. I hope he gains the foothold he needs to get established. Only time will tell. In the meantime, I think we might hang out again once I’m back from vacation.

Speaking of chores, I have to head off and finish my laundry. I’m sure you know now much I love that.

Nothing to See Here… (II)

I attended the 2nd official Choxita de Badlands Brunch today.

I arrived to find kel playing Martha Stewart in the kitchen. Of course, kel gurl has a much fitter waist line than Martha. He is also lacking a prison record but who am I to nit-pick.

Oh yes, there are many more to come. For some reason, I was the only one w/a camera today.1 Continue reading Nothing to See Here… (II)

Those People

A very unfriendly lady told me today that “those people” don’t belong here, referring to a homeless couple who had setup camp on her block in a rather affluent part of town. Granted the homeless situation here is a major problem. Being a progressive city, SF has a large population of homeless folks. To me that sounds more like a contradiction than a definition. Yet, you find the same problem in every large city. It is not a crime to be homeless. And it should not preclude you from the human rights granted to any other human being. An important distinction often forgotten.

When you deal w/the homeless as much as I do in my line of work, it is easy to forget these are human beings. You see people who, for a variety of reasons, have been discarded by society. And it’s not a pretty sight seeing a human devolved to such a lowly form of existence. Living in squalor, stink, and filth, manners and cleanliness become unafforded niceties that are soon forgotten. In this scenario it is easy to forget. Yet, we musn’t. If we, as a society, allow people to live this way then we must also bear the burden of supporting them. We no longer live in age of wilderness where ever man is his own world and anything outside that world is unimportant. We live in an age where our planet is fast becoming overpopulated and the driving force behind our existence is money and/or the accumulation of wealth. Well friends, that existence isn’t free. You only need to look in your slums and ghettos to realize it.

I can’t help but notice the similarities in how the homeless are viewed here and how gays are viewed elsewhere. Homeless folks here are often mistreated, overgeneralized, stereotyped, looked down upon, and regarded as a stain on society. Sound familiar?

I’m always bitching to folks about the distinction between things. The same could be said of same sex marriage. There is a clear line between the civil and religious benefits of a marriage contract in this country. However, over time the line has become blurred because there was no reason to make a distinction. Now there is. We need to refocus our efforts on reminding law-makers of the separation of church and state clause in the constitution. The State needs to recognize we deseve equal treatment under the law. However, we [gays] need to remember a religious institution does not have to agree or support our right to marry. Nor do they have to allow us to “marry” on their property. Another distinction often lost in the flurry of self-rigtheousness indignation.

Very important dinstinctions like these are increasingly forgotten in our society today. We should be mor than a little frightened of that.

Winding Down

Gay High Holy day has come and gone and the city is slowly winding down returning to it’s normal self. There are lots of “boys” still hanging out. The difference today is no more leather. They’ve put all their drag away and switched back into regular garb. The scruff and 5 O’clock shadow promptly shaved away and replaced w/some much needed moisturizer. Yes, gone are the wanna-be daddies. In it’s place, packs of boys1 roaming the streets w/shopping bags and designer sunglasses in tow. I can’t hep but see the irony in it all. We go out of our way to dispel the negative stereotypes of the past while creating new ones for the future. The point here kiddies is you don’t have to dress up to have a good time. Go as yourself for a change. I just can’t help but laugh at how we shun drag queens but we uplift leather drag. Don’t kid yourself, it is drag just in a different fashion. (pun intended)

For all it’s glamour, Folsom has become a victim of it’s own growth. The event was started by the leather community as a way to give back to the community whilst celebrating diversity and sexual freedom. In the early years, it was truly an event not to be missed. And like many overlooked distinctions in our culture, Folsom has become just another catch phrase for corporate sponsorship and excuse to party to excess2. I can’t tell you the number of gasps I got when folks learned I had a free ticket to both Magnitude and Real Bad3, neither of which I went to. God forbid I miss out on the ‘it parties‘, whatever that means.

For my part, I had a good time at Folsom. But I have a good time at almost anything I set my mind too. I think next year I’ll work the event as an EMT or skip it all together. Too much focus is placed on the look and parties vs the meaning behind it these days. The newness has long worn off for me and I already live most of the things Folsom is supposed to represent.

A nod here to We, Like Sheep4.


1 ‘boy’ is my term for the trendy tight t-shirt and shorts combo that is almost the standard gay apparel these days.

2 Please don’t confuse my rant as an open dislike for the fair. It offers so much to so many. Anytime someone has a chance to express themselves, whatever the reasons, I support that. My life is already an open expression so I guess the purpose of Folsom is lost on me.

3 Working for a charity involved in the community does have it’s rewards.

4 I totally stole his method of using footnotes as expressions. I just thought it fair to give him credit.

Hard Gay?

I’m fond of teasing my compadres at work and they me. Today, we were laughing about some of the reality shows on TV these days and I made a passing comment “that is so gay”. Apparently, coming from a gay man, my straight counterparts found that extremely hilarious. One of the more macho guys laughed so hard he fell off his chair. I didn’t really say it to be funny. However, it made the rounds all over the room. I guess if you are out and gay and you call something else gay, it’s uber-gay! Who knew?

And has anyone else heard of the “hard gay” guy from Japan? My counter-part, kristaki, has and finds him utterly hilarious as well. What say you?

Gay High Holy Day

Next to Gay Pride, the Folsom St. Fair is the biggest gay event of the year here in SF. It is also the 2nd largest source of event income for the city. Some call it a debacle others call it a glorious celebration of sexuality and leather. Whatever you call it, it delivers a massive turnout of gays from all over the world. Oddly enough, I’ll be able to attend this year.

Normally, I work the event w/BCC but since I resigned this week that won’t happen. In brief, too much drama and very little support. They don’t care so neither do I. It was a chore I used to love and now it’s become a major pain in my ass. Not only that, I discovered today they are getting way overcharged for their domain hosting account. I’ve been trying to get’em to switch for months and months. Maybe now they will listen. Of course, I don’t give a rats tooty anymore. It means one less thing on my plate so there is a small silver lining on this cloud.

Work is busy as hell. I’m on so many damn committees I can’t keep up. Not to mention, I started a newsletter. OY! I got very discouraged this week from people’s petty bitching but that is the nature of the beast so deal with it right? Lots of changes in the works, all good so far. Keep your fingers crossed.

Home life is no different. NO social life so nothing new to update there. My friend Trev from Houston is coming to visit for the Fair. I took the week off as originally I was involved w/work for three different charities over Folsom weekend. Now that I’ve resigned from BCC, I’ll have more time to spend w/him. I hope my karma can survive the hit. (kidding of course) It will be odd to actually attend the fair instead of working it for a change. I also heard a dirty rumor that joe.my.god is coming to town.

I found a good bid for a painter. He is supposed to finish the job just in time for my friends visit so I’m excited. Of course, this means I have to put the damn entertainment center together now. @#$%!

Not No But Hell NO

I got dished today. Even harder than last time. Even moi gets kicked to the curb sometimes.

I’ve been seeing this guy around town for awhile now. At least a year. Usually in the gay ghetto or ghayto as I call it. Now my gaydar is pretty good but my nookie-dar is even better. But, I admit this guy had me a little stumped. He’d give me just enough signals to think he was interested but then he’d walk away. And for clarity, what I’d observed of said fella, I liked. I fancied him enough to consider asking him out. I know I know, God forbid I actually go on a date vs a booty call.

Today, I’m at Daddybucks catching up on some charity work. I see him as I enter and again w/the glances. As fate would have it, the only open seat was directly behind him just inside (he was outside). I sit down, setup, and start working. Every so often he literally turns far enough around to look at me. And the looks are coming fast and strong so I decide to return the favor. He is eating up. Then, status quo, he gets up and leaves. I’m miffed but not over annoyed at this point. Twenty minutes later he comes back. Not one glance this time. He spends a few minutes in conversation w/the bear congregation in front then comes inside. My first thought was he was coming over to say hi. Nay. He sits down w/this guy on the bench along the wall. Next to me but slightly to the back. I’m figuring he is using this as an excuse to get close enough to spark a conversation. Nay again fellow blogger. No, as it turns out he and this guy are “meeting” for the first time and a very intimate conversation ensues. Soon to be followed by some fumbling and petting.

At this point, I’m a little disgusted. I mean come on. Here you are going all gooey eyes for me and you turn and start rotating this guys crank right in front of me. I know I shouldn’t have been but I was pissed. After a few minutes, I packed up and left. (On a side note, this gave me the impetus to get my ass home to do laundry.)

So being a more than a little disappointed, it hasn’t ruined my mood. It’s been a hard couple of weeks and frankly, I don’t have time to let such nonsense ruin my day. However, I’m amazed at how fickle fags can be sometimes. I’m trying not to sound like a hypocrite here. I get around and it’s no secret I’m generous w/the nookie. However, I don’t “work” someone that hard and then switch to the next fella right in front of them!

Men. ba humbug Why couldn’t I have been a lesbian? (g)