Category: gay

Donate, Please

I rarely ask anything of my readers other than respect.  This time I am asking a little more.  Let me be clear, I am not above begging.  The extremist wingnuts couldn’t win with the truth so they’ve taken to lying in their festering evil attempt to write discrimination into the California State constitution. 

It is a sad day indeed when the “moral majority” has to resort to lying and deceit to win their case in the hearts & minds of everyday folk.  This is one of the most important votes of the century.  Whether you live in California or not, if you believe as I do, that two people regardless of their sex should be allowed to form stable, long-term LEGAL relationships under the law, then I urge you to help out.

Please, even if you can only donate $10, take a moment and hop over to

Say NO to Prop 8.

If 1 million people gave just $1.00 that would be one million in extra funds to fight the hate and lies being brought against us in the upcoming election.

I gave $400 of my own money today.  I decided to forgo the shiny new riding jacket I wanted.  Instead, I donated the money to the No to Prop. 8 campaign.  I make this pledge.  If enough people donate from this post to raise $1000.00, I will donate $400.00 more of my own money. 

Please, I urge you, take a moment to donate whatever you can.  Even if it is only a few dollars, every little bit helps when we act together. 

All of these fine folks have also helped out. I’ll add every link I discover to this post.

roblog
Romach
Joe my God
Towleroad
Bear Schmear
Queeristan
Gooster
Mathias n Oz
SwimfinsSF
thisboyelroy

Hysterical

Does anyone else find it oddly amusing that the religious F&F’s [1]fundamentalists and fanatics selectively pick and choose disasters to blame on gays?  Several of the crazy sites (of which I will never link to here) are blaming the current financial crisis and resulting company failures on gays.  Wha-wha-what?  Gays caused the financial meltdown in our country? 

I particularly like how they liken our influence to total control yet we still don’t have basic rights in most of the Union.  I mean if our control was that iron clad wouldn’t we already have equal protections?  Oh right, God is keeping us in check.  I get it, blame the deity of choice as to avoid rational thought and common sense. 

*

I just finished watching the VP debate.  So basically Palin is considered a success because she didn’t stick her foot in her mouth?  Or at least that is what the political pundits on CNN think.  The VP is second in line for the presidency and we rate her a success on making it thru a debate w/o a major blunder?   My my, what high standards we have. 

I came away feeling that Palin has good memorization skills and looks good on camera.  As a VP she would pretty much be a figurehead that does what she is told.  Not necessarily a bad thing for a VP however, the though of her stepping into the presidency makes me shudder.  And while Biden didn’t particularly wow me, I felt he had a firmer grasp on reality and is much more qualified to be the VP.  I particularly liked his phrasing on gay rights.  While he said he didn’t support gay marriage, his phrasing clearly indicates he was referring to it in a religious sense not a civil rights sense.  Very well said in my opinion.  

References

References
↑1 fundamentalists and fanatics

Over

Well, the three big gay holidays of the year are over.  Pride, Dore Alley, & last but not least, Folsom have all come and gone.  And while I had fun, Folsom was a mixed bag for me this year.  One might even say too much fun. [1]Yes, there will be a separate post for that.  You’ll need to be logged in to see it.  That said, I discovered a couple of old demons still lurking in my id.

The Big Muscle party on Saturday was exceptionally fun.  What can I say? So many beefy menz, so little time.  Actually, with the exception of the fair itself, everything else was almost a let down after the BM party.  Nothing else really seemed to measure up.  lol  And, I like it because everyone is still relatively sober.  I usually find the guys are often very friendly and more sociable than other events throughout the weekend.  I guess you could compare it to a Tea dance.  I also met more guys from online this year than I ever have before.  Moving on…

The weekend went great.  I was with a great group of friends, ran into some old ones and definitely met some new ones.  That said, I remember this nagging sensation gnawing at me several times.  Not about to let it ruin my fun, I tucked it away and made a mental note to crack it open later.  *g*  Well it is later and I’ve realized the nagging feeling was me feeling inferior.

Don’t get me wrong, I doubt anyone really noticed.  One thing you learn about me, when I’m nervous or intimidated I tend to act more gregarious than normal to compensate for it. [2]I know, you are asking, “is that even possible?” LOL  Call it a defense-mechanism from my childhood, whatever.  I originally chalked it up to not having worked out in over a month.  And lets face it, these events do sort of cater to the more shallow side of our nature. 

Now I’m left wondering if my lack of gym time is the real culprit?  I’m a little ashamed to say I don’t think so.  Instead, I think I’ve become so accustomed to working out it has allowed me to bury my old feelings of inadequacy.  It really shouldn’t surprise me not being able to work out just allowed them to surface.

So yeah, I had a great time at Folsom.  But, it also gave me a chance to see myself a bit more objectively.  Never a bad thing, IMHO.  I guess the point here is I realized I’ve been neglecting the inner me and focusing primarily on the outer me.  And while neither is in that bad of shape, I need to remember they both need work. *g* 

References

References
↑1 Yes, there will be a separate post for that.  You’ll need to be logged in to see it.
↑2 I know, you are asking, “is that even possible?” LOL

Yes?

After several inquires, I figured it was time to update le blog.  Like I said, I’ve been extremely busy loafing on the sofa.  It is Gay High Holy Day #3 [1]Folsom St Fair weekend and the city is awash with visitors.  As mentioned, my buddy Frank arrived today.  Rob & Chuck came over this evening to watch the Presidential debate with us (a whole other post unto itself).  Afterwards, roblog, Adam & Brad, my neighbor Chuck, and myself all trekked down to the hood for some sushi for dinner.  It was great to get out of the house and socialize. 

Tomorrow is the Big Muscle party and random oggling of da menz.  Sunday, of course, is the fair.

Several folks have asked how my shoulder is doing.  So far so good.  I’m healing up quite nicely so far.  I’ve regained about 80-90% of my motion back.  The wound itself is starting to lose most of the purpleness from the surgery.  I still have some numbness around the edges but it is better every day.  I go back to see the Ortho doctor on the 8th.  I find out then if & when I can start working out again. [2]Cross your fingers for me.

I’ll try to get some pics in but you know how absent-minded I am.  😛

And what are your weekend plans?

References

References
↑1 Folsom St Fair
↑2 Cross your fingers for me.

McCain Still a Hypocrit

McCain Never Returned Cash from former Manhunt Chairman

While I’m still on my high horse…

So not only did they not return the money but Crutchley is still working for MH even if he is no longer on the board. He still owns a significant share of the company and not being “on the board” was window dressing to appease us so we would blithely turn away and keep looking for our next hookup.

/rant

For My Next Trick…

I finally caught up on all my emails. [1]I guess politics rates right under porn for hot topics.  Most of the public comments are those in agreement with me.  Well except for that crazy Cajun, Brett. [2]Cajuns, by nature, are never afraid to speak up.  We also aren’t afraid to speak back. However, I got a slew of private emails representing the contrary opinion.  Folks, you are welcome to disagree with me anytime.  My only request is and has always been that you be respectful.  Most of you do that consistently.  I never nix contrary opinions just because you disagree.  You don’t have to worry about attacks here either.  I don’t tolerate that at all.  We can all talk w/o resorting to name calling.  Well, here on my blog we can.  Anyway, I think I replied to everyone’s private email.  If I didn’t, so sowwie but the fingers are tired.

*

I guess in my last post I wasn’t very clear.  I don’t expect to put ManHunt out of business.  Please.  They are a global company.  My little drop in the bucket won’t mean much in the grand scale of things. That said, I can’t knowingly support someone who doesn’t support me.  I don’t care if it is a "trashy hookup site", as Brett calls it. 

And frankly, it isn’t about the money.  The guy is making a very profitable living off of gay men.  To donate to the McCain campaign is a slap in the face and hypocritical.   I also don’t expect him to be some moral compass, whatever the fuck that is.  I do expect as someone who makes his living primarily off gay men he won’t support political candidates who consistently vote to keep us 2nd class citizens.

I am proud to say quite a few of my readers have nixed their accounts.  I can count at least 30 folks I know first hand who have done so.  The scandal hasn’t even hit mainstream media yet.  If enough of us make a statement Manhunt will have to deal with it. 

References

References
↑1 I guess politics rates right under porn for hot topics.
↑2 Cajuns, by nature, are never afraid to speak up.  We also aren’t afraid to speak back.

ManHunt = Fail

I just found out from two of my favorite reads the founder of Manhunt has given the maximum allowed donation to McCain.  He has even admitted it.  Besides being incredibly hypocritical, it reeks of the typical Republican mentality, "do as I say not as I do". 

He has the right to donate to the candidate of his choice.  I support that.  I also have the right NOT to support his business.  I can’t in good conscience do so anymore. 

You can read the full stories here and here.

Sadly, I doubt it will have much effect.  Many will just shrug and keep looking for their next trick.  I know that seems a bit cynical but most gay men think with the little head first.  I’m hoping my brothers will prove me wrong. 

If you are on Manhunt, I urge you to cancel your account AND let them know why.  Someone will pop up to take their place soon enough anyway. 

Just Wrong

I’m pretty free spirited and lord knows I have an open mind when it comes to sex.  Tonight, I stumbled over a profile on Manhunt I felt crossed the line, even for me.  There are a lot of strange fetishes in the gay community and even more so online.  But there are certain things I can’t and won’t tolerate.

The guy basically started out ranting with claims about being a real man, masculine, blah blah blah.  Nothing new there, pretty much the same boring fodder as usual.  Then he launches into a speech about mind trips, power, and domination.  *yawn* 

Now comes the part that pissed me off.  He is only looking for negative guys he can dominate and attempt to infect.  He goes on to imply it is the only true form of power and control.  Call it a sick neurosis, a inferiority complex, whatever, it’s fucking wrong.

There are a lot of things I will tolerate but I draw the line at deliberately trying to infect people with HIV.  HIV may not be the death sentence in Western culture it used to be but people are still fucking dying.  More disturbing, the rate of infections in younger gays is on the rise again.  To see some sick fuck with a twisted need to satisfy his limp-dick inferiority complex trying to convince people HIV is glamorous is beyond reprehensible. 

I reported his ass to the admins. [1]It takes about 24 hours usually for complaints to be reviewed.  I also added a note if they allow such a profile to exist, they will lose me as a customer.  I didn’t make it as threat but to make a point.  In the event his profile doesn’t get nixed (I think it will), I’ll go one step further and break one of my cardinal rules about privacy.  I’ll post his profile info here and encourage every single reader to email Manhunt to complain. 

*Update* – The profile was removed when I woke up today.

References

References
↑1 It takes about 24 hours usually for complaints to be reviewed.

Weekend Roundup

Well, Gay High Holy Day #1 2008 has come and gone.  It was a busy weekend but very enjoyable.

I had an off day Friday so hung out, got errands done, etc.  I was still feeling a little blech but managed to make it to the gym.

Saturday day was pretty laid back.  My buddy Frank made it in from Phoenix.  I wasn’t too sure he’d make it but glad he did.  He is a good egg and more than a little handsome.

Frank

“Ray”, Frank, and myself all headed for lunch at Firewood.  It was the most crowded I’d ever seen it.  Every single table was full minus two.  By the time we left there was a line forming out the door.

Ray & Frank

Saturday night we went over to Adam & Brad’s new place for an intimate get together.  The boys got the new pad all decked out and looking great.  I think everyone involved had a great time.  I also got a chance to play on their Wii.  I was really impressed w/the design and layout of the console. [1]Mine is now on back order  I also got to design my own avatar which everyone said bore a real resemblance. heehee   Anyway, the evening was a success in my book.  Between playing Wii bowling and the straight Irish boys that appeared out of nowhere, I think everyone had a great time.

Brad & Frank Gaming

Someone told me not to bring food so we all ended up practically starving to death.  That is until Dominos delivered at 12:30 am.  Afterwards, we all sat around feeling fat and sassy play Smash Mario Bros.

Sunday was parade day.  I’m sad to say I made it a bit late to the festival.  Frank and I both slept late.  We got there about half way thru the parade.  Adam and Brad were starving and I got to watch them devour some hot dogs within seconds. [2]In true Southern fashion, they can put away some food when properly inspired. lol   We also ran into Victor, Tony, and little Bruno at the festival afterwards.  Bruno is so adorable and growing like a weed.

Tony & Vic

On our way out, we stopped by Faery Village and saw masturbator 1 & 2. lol  I’ll never understand the lure of standing in front of hundreds, if not thousands, of complete strangers having sex.   As brave as I am, I couldn’t just stand and beat off in front of thousands of unknown people.  There was the one guy who is there almost every year.  This year he was lying down.  I can report his ass wasn’t so attractive.  The other guy had a fantastic bod and cock but was wearing a very dorky distracting Skeletor head mask.  They were both just wanking away.  There were other naked guys [3]Side rant: Why is it always the fat fugly guys that parade around butt naked? but none worth mentioning.

Afterwards, we scarfed down a meal at the food court in the new Westfield mall before seeing Wall-E on the big screen.  Brad commented this “was his new favorite mall.”  Anyway, I highly recommend the movie.  If you like the Pixar franchise you will love Wall-E.  The plot was wonderfully engaging and thought-provoking while still maintaining a high level of entertainment.  Definitely worth the money to see it on the big screen.

Today, Frank and I were slugs.  We had lunch, a movie, dinner, and a nap all before he had to fly back home to Phoenix.  I definitely need to him the gym again tomorrow.  I could write more but I’m flat bone tired and sleep is about to take me.  A few more pics posted on the flickr account if you care to see.

And how was your weekend?

References

References
↑1 Mine is now on back order
↑2 In true Southern fashion, they can put away some food when properly inspired. lol
↑3 Side rant: Why is it always the fat fugly guys that parade around butt naked?

Kudos

I thought I’d take a break from the random hate mail I get and post a nice one.  I’ve taken the author’s info out for privacy.

Periodically I peruse through BIGMUSCLE (I’m not on there anymore) to see if I can find out a little more about the guys here in SF. I’m from NY and here via Southern California. I still live and work between here and San Diego. Since moving to California I have always felt out of my element. I often question myself and wonder if I am becoming jaded or if I’m just completely out of touch.Deep down I know that although many of my thoughts about the gay "community" are not the popular consensus…I’m really right on the mark.

  This morning I read "Points to Ponder" on your profile page and your three statements put to words much of what I think in my head and cannot summarize so eloquently. I smiled and was validated. Thank you for that. Everything you say in your profile is a perfect example of what being a "man" is all about.Its quite contrary to what so many gay men think a man is-The muscles,the hair,the clothes…the "group" that they belong to.Its seems as though you have taken responsibility for yourself and have taken the steps to be aware.If more men here had your attitude I would probably be more tempted to stay.Just wanted to thank you for making my day a little more interesting. I wish you all the best….I suspect you deserve only that.

I’ve already replied to the author w/my thanks.  The irony was his email was exactly what I needed as well.  You see, I sometimes wonder if it is just easier to be dysfunctional.  That way I wouldn’t feel so isolated at times.  I often refer to my belief that a lot of gay men [1]or folks in general fall into destructive habits out of an acute need to belong.  We all have an innate need to feel connected or to belong.  Whether we consciously recognize the desire isn’t so important for the topic of this post.  I think it is stronger or more pronounced for gay men because of the stigma of growing up gay and 2nd class citizens.  I know in my own case it has been a crippling force in my life that I still battle with.  Anyway, I needed a little confirmation that I wasn’t alone in my desire to rise above.  Just a simple little email is all it took.   

References

References
↑1 or folks in general