Well, its official. I’ve become a Daddy. I was ‘adopted’ by a boy this weekend. But I’m getting ahead of myself, I’ll get to that in a bit.
Warning, while not explicit, this post is also adult in nature. Click thru if you dare.
Continue reading Daddy
So in very uninteresting and completely mundane news, I joined realjock.com last week. I thought it might be fun to try and interact with other guys who enjoy working out.
So far, I’m not that impressed. Besides being an obvious hang out for those dealing with internalized homophobia and the ever emotionally stunted “straight acting” types, no one really seems to actually interact that much.
The site is designed relatively well and does have some good tips/guides for working out and building muscle though. The forum is decent as well. I guess its the best to be expected considering. I’ll give it a whirl for awhile and see what develops.
My buddy Rob from roblog did a very cool video on the current state of political rights for the LGBT community.
Not only is it very well done but it also bears sharing. Feel free to link here if you like and want to spread the word.
Oh, and enjoy the movie. [1]I’ve been having trouble getting it to play in the browser, if anyone knows a better code version, let me know
Rob referred me to to a nifty plugin so ignore the “read more” link and click play or download.
Continue reading H8
References
| ↑1 | I’ve been having trouble getting it to play in the browser, if anyone knows a better code version, let me know |
|---|
While there are no pics, this rant is a tinsy bit on the adult side so I figured I might give you a chance to not click thru. lol
Continue reading Porn! Ok, Maybe Not
As if the drama last night wasn’t enough, I got called a ‘crazy racist’ online today because I wasn’t attracted to a guy sexually. Not the first time and probably not the last. Here is our conversation.
Him: Nice profile and pics, wanna come f*ck me?
Me: Hey bud, I appreciate the offer but not really a match for me. Happy Hunting.
Him: Why don’t you just admit your crazy racist ass-hole. You make me sick. [1]I got a little annoyed here and my reply could have been worded better, I’m sure.
Me: Wait. Because, I’m not attracted to you, I’m a racist asshole? And first you want me to fuck you but then I make you sick? Which is it? I could have just hit the delete button like a lot of guys on here. I took the time to politely say, “no thanks” and I’m the asshole? So, in that vein of thought, what I should have said is, “no thanks, your fugly”. Would that have been better? Do me a favor, don’t project your inability to handle rejection onto me.
Him: *I got a follow up reply but I deleted it without opening it.*
Like I said, I could have handled it better by just ignoring his pissy email. That’s my shit and I own it, moving on. Keeping in mind here, there are no racial references for or against anywhere in any of my profile(s). This leap of logic on his part was unfounded and completely out of line.
*
So, to beat this horse properly we first need to identify several important but often lost distinctions. First, there is the very real existence of racism. Right behind that comes ignorance/indifference. And bringing up the rear (pun intended) is physical attraction (or not) to certain physical traits common to one race or another.
I am not so foolish to think racism is gone in America. Quite the contrary, some of the nasty fallout over our new president shows it is still very much alive. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Forgetting for a moment the races are blending more and more with every generation, dismissing a whole section of society based solely on their race is offensive and can be classified as racism.
In relation to the gay community, I don’t think it is out and out racism as much as ignorance. [2]I am not excusing it, just stating an observation. I can’t tell you how often I see profiles with “not into Blacks or Asians.” You may not intend to be offensive but that is exactly what you are doing by making such statements. Imagine how you’d feel reading a profile of someone you found attractive and they dismissed your entire existence based on your race. I particularly love how some guys try to apologize at the same time for saying such things. If you have to apologize perhaps you shouldn’t say it. How about you just leave it out. Nothing compels you to reply, meet, or hookup with anyone you don’t wish to. Why add such inflammatory language to your profile? [3]Out of fairness, there was a time when I made this awful mistake. I am happy to say that was well over 10 years ago.
Of course, when it comes to sex you can’t force physical attraction or the lack thereof. Attraction, like our sexuality, is not always a quantifiable behavior. For the purpose of this rant, I am referring specifically to attraction and race. And herein lies the most important distinction I feel is often lost on so many. Not being attracted to a physical trait(s) common to one race or another is not racism. From my own observations, I think this is often the real root of the matter but given the ignorance mentioned above, the line quickly becomes blurred. Want a sure fire way to know? Its quite simple. If you really have no racial hang-ups, you will find that there are always exceptions to your attraction (or lack) to a particular race.
For myself, I rarely think in term of absolutes so saying I’m not into a whole race would be a lie. I have my range and it commonly crosses the races. I’ll also admit there are some physical traits common to some races I am not attracted to. And while this is a racial issue it is only in the sense of physical attraction. However, that is never an absolute either. I don’t give a rats ass what color your skin is, if I like what you have to offer and you flop it in front of me, I’m gonna taste it. Or, if I don’t, I won’t.
I haven’t really been inspired to blog much lately. Even my twittering has waned. After getting yet another round of emails asking “are you ok?” I figured I should at least post an update.
Nothing is really wrong, [1]well other than being a 2nd class citizen in the eyes of the law again. I’ve just been busy. Work has been crazy. My union duties are extremely busy right now. The other day I had so much union related stuff going on, I only sat on channel for about 45mins the whole day. I’m not complaining as I usually get results. Plus, I am actively working to make my place of employment better.
I’ve also been heavily involved in playing Gears of War 2. I freaking love that game. I beat the campaign level once already and am really enjoying the online play. If you have an 360, you should try it even if you don’t normally go for FPS (first person shooter) games.
*
The Prop 8 scandal still smarts. I will admit to being rather sad lately over the whole ordeal. I’ve attended several rallies and sit-ins. And while it feels good, I just feel like rallies don’t accomplish much after the fact. Where were all these people when our rights got taken away? I’ve also donated all I can at this point. I’ve pushed my finances as far as I’m willing. I’ve already forgone riding gear, my holiday overtime pay and money for personal holiday gifts this year. I can’t afford to give anymore right now. I know I sound pissy but I’ve done my part. I’m certainly not giving up but we all have limits.
I’m curious about the whole “amendment process”. I’d love to start an amendment to ban divorce in California. Or maybe we could ban marriage all-together. Or how about we ban Mormons? How very “christian” of you to force your beliefs on others. Don’t like the idea of marrying a gay person? Well then don’t do it you ignorant hate-mongering fuckers! That’s ok, you’ll get yours in the end. I have no doubts in that.
*
I’ve been hitting the gym consistently. I’m back up to a full routine. Still haven’t hit my original limits but slow and steady. I’ve been good at incorporating cardio into my routines and I’m getting used to it now.
*
I had a date last week. It was a medic who was doing his Medic cert back when I was doing my EMT cert. We used to run into each other at the hospitals and chatted often. Anyway, long boring story short, it did not go well. One, he was clearly husband shopping. Two, he had some internalized homophobia. Neither of which I am inclined to put up with. The final straw was when he indicated the whole Prop 8 scandal had very little to do with him.
I think he was more disappointed than I was. heehee His face fell several times in the course of our conversations. It was clear he expected me to be of a similar mind-set since we worked in related fields. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
*
I’ve taken my daily journals private again as they aren’t very nice right now.
References
| ↑1 | well other than being a 2nd class citizen in the eyes of the law again. |
|---|
An interesting article on whether Prop 8 falls under an amendment requiring only a majority vote (50% + 1) or a revision (2/3’s approval of both houses BEFORE going to voters who must pass with majority vote).
An interesting take and a valid one IMHO even if it appears to be an uphill battle. Hope over and read the article for a better idea.
Hope still lives in this house.
Listing of Prop 8 Protests and Rallies
If anyone is interested, a link with a list of planned rallies on NO on H8 across the state.
My happiness with our new President-elect is overshadowed today. With Prop 8 expected to pass here in CA, Prop 102 in AZ and Prop 2 in Florida passing, I have lost all respect for so called “Christian” hate-mongers. If you’ve been living under a rock, these 3 amendments write discrimination into their respective state constitutions.
I’ve always tried to respect peoples religious beliefs however, there comes a point where your hate, fear, and ignorance cloaked in faith is no longer acceptable. That time has come. After this election, you’ve made it very clear you hate me and hope to forever label me as a 2nd class citizen. Well I’m here to tell you, I am not going away no matter how hard you try. Nor will I blithely stand by when I hear you condemning me and mine in the name of scripture and then claiming faith as an excuse.
Of course, there are those who still claim to be “christians” who also believe in reason and human rights. It is you folks who are now faced with a difficult choice. You can continue to stand by and allow your religion (aka cult) to be corrupted by greed and hate or you can take a stand. You can stand for common decency, respect, and equal treatment of all people. You can put your fellow “christians” on notice their behavior is not acceptable and take back your faith. But, if you choose to stand idly by and do nothing while still identifying with those who hate me, you are no longer exempt from my scorn either. [1]I feel it is worth noting, some of the most horrific atrocities ever committed in human history were done in the name of faith.
No matter how hard you try to justify your actions using archaic scripts, you know deep down it is wrong. And it is you who is accountable for that.
And to be clear, I don’t hate you. But don’t expect me to ‘turn the other cheek’ any longer.
References
| ↑1 | I feel it is worth noting, some of the most horrific atrocities ever committed in human history were done in the name of faith. |
|---|
This trip was interesting to say the least. It was good to see my little bro. [1]He is 28 but he’ll always be my “little brother” We’ve always been the closet but it seems to be getting stronger. He is learning just being gay hasn’t changed who I am. We also had a long talk about our siblings. He then told me some very funny stories about my relatives and their views on me. One relative even asked him if we still hugged (Yes, he ridiculed them for being so silly). He also had apparently told everyone to mind their p’s and q’s as he wouldn’t tolerate any disrespectful behavior. Anyway, I thought I’d share some funny incidents that occurred over the weekend.
Funny #1
Halloween night we had a big bonfire. Two of my brothers were there as well as two of my cousins and their families. Of course, my immediately family already knew about me but their spouses and kids only knew from being told. My older cousin was completely blown away by the fact I made gay jokes and wisecracks. We were watching something on TV and I said, “I know I’m gay but even I think THAT is so gay“. You could have heard a pin drop it was so quiet for about 30 seconds before everyone started laughing. A very tense milestone (for them) had passed. She later confided she had warned her kids not to use the word gay around me for fear of hurting my feelings or alienating me (Keep in mind, profanity is a given in my family). I was touched by the thought but I assured her it was ok. [2]And while it really isn’t ok, small steps people, small steps. I did encourage her to think about the underlying implications of allowing her kids to talk that way. While the intent might not be derogatory, the affects can be.
Funny #2
The younger cousin had admonished her own family in a similar manner. Her husband I guess didn’t know what to expect (having never met me) and apparently, there was some animosity about the visit. After a couple hours, he pulled me aside to tell me I wasn’t what he expected. I asked if he was expecting the stereotypical limp-wristed fembot. It took him a second to digest what I was saying but he finally admitted he had indeed. I assured him these are the stereotypes simply because they are so obvious. I explained that while I could “nell out” with the best of’em, it isn’t my normal demeanor. I also told him he probably knew more than he thought because not everyone, especially in a small town, likes it known. That gave him a moment of pause but he took it well I think. lol Not knowing it, he gave me a back-handed compliment by telling me had he not already known he would never have guessed.
It was very heartening to see some of my extended family expanding their horizons. And while there are some who will never be ok with it, I came away knowing I’ve given them something to think about.
I share these stories because I’ve always believed it isn’t the TV and media that sways most folks. I think it is their friends, family, coworkers, etc who decide to come out and live openly and honestly that changes their minds. There are always some who will see you differently but, wouldn’t you rather be liked (or not) for you really are?