gay – Page 17 – Moby Files: Blog

Sign Here

*This applies to everyone reading, not just locals*

Integrity and honesty seems to be going out the window more and more every day. I’ve had more than one episode w/paid signature gatherers lying about the petitions they are asking people to sign. I’ve also seen stories all over the national media regarding similar instances. The last episode occurred before our most recent local elections here in SF last week. I was on a lunch break from work and ran by Safeway to grab some grub. A man was soliciting signatures for a local proposition that deals w/City employees and retirement benefits. I’m nowhere near retirement age yet but I still pay attention to such things as frankly, I already give 38% of my salary in various taxes. . Right off the bat, the guy is lying in his spiel to gain interest from people walking by. I feigned ignorance and asked him to explain it to me. He proceeds to flat out lie even more on the several key points of the proposition. I waited for him to finish and then laid into him very loudly. I basically told him in none too polite terms he should be ashamed of himself for lying in an attempt to pass a proposition. He gets sarcastic and replies, “look! I’m paid to be here gathering signatures and that’s what I’m doing.” Really? You’re paid to lie? I was so furious I had to walk away as I honestly felt the need to pummel his face repeatedly. I encourage everyone to read documents before you sign. You would think its a no-brainer but often times we are lulled into a sense of trust based on very believable progaganda. The reality is you could very well be signing your rights away out of ignorance. If you can’t take the time to read what you’re signing, no matter how good it sounds to you, don’t sign it. My maw-maw was fond of saying, “believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.” Never has it been more true than today.

References[+]

References
↑1	like myself
↑2	The petition failed thankfully!
↑3	or what we want to believe

Know Thyself

People really crack me up sometimes. They say perception is 9/10’s reality but there are also times when you need to use your head for something besides a hat rack. I just had a rather odd email conversation with a distant Facebook friend who was pissed at me for not knowing what was going on with him. Apparently, he’s been going thru some drama and updating FB with it. It was somehow my fault for not knowing. I saw him online, sent a polite message, and proceeded to get attitude because I was being jovial. Excuse the hell out of me!

On a similar rant, a while back I had another FB friend (who found me thru twitter) get pissy with me because I didn’t want to have cyber sex with him over cam. I first politely explained it wasn’t my thing even if I thought he was attractive. Sex over cam is so 90’s and boring to me. I realize it may be fun for some but that doesn’t mean everyone is into it. Finally after like the 4th or 5th push to show my junk, I got rather direct and let him know it was never going to happen. He has since unfriended me, to my delight.

So yes, all these sites can be wonderful mechanisms for communication. But lets face it, none of us only friend people we actually know in real life. Hell some folks have thousands, even hundreds of thousands, of friends on these sites. It is unrealistic to think every one of your “friends” keeps up with your every update. Frankly, it borders on impossible for anyone who has a life offline. For myself, I’m not so foolish to think everyone on my list knows everything I post. Most of what I post on FB and such is absolute drivel anyway. lol That’s when I’m even on. Most of my updates on FB come from my Google+ account (or twitter).

Yes, I have some nice friends online whom I’ve never met. I have some I’d love to meet someday as well. That still doesn’t mean I’m all up in their grill 24/7. If I’m a real friend to you or vice versa, then I’ll take the time to talk, text, email, or see you. in person. In person isn’t always possible but a friendship is only as good as the effort you put into it, not what you get out of it. And posting online is not what I would call effort.

The sex thing is funny. But again, don’t get all twisted because not everyone is into the same thing. I clearly have no problem with sex and/or hookups. That doesn’t mean every profile I have online is filled with a insatiable desire to get laid. Even still, if I politely decline 2 even 3 times, take the hint.

At the end of the day, just use your brain people. Don’t get pissy because some random stranger doesn’t know you’re having a bad day/week. Be happy someone actually took the time to reach out to you in the first place.

/ rant

Dirty

I got called a dirty sodomite on Facebook today. I somehow got attached to a fan page for SF Pride and one of the folks that replied to a mass email was spewing hatred and nonsense. Said person didn’t like my reply pointing out his sins via his own bible verses and went on a rampage about evil homo-fascists, Obama, Jews, and I forget the rest.

Its fun beating the idjits at their own game. They are soooo quick to spew a few well rehearsed verses about gays but when you throw it back in their face with some verses of your own, they lose it. Seriously, this person was beside themselves that a filthy homo could dare question his/her holier-than-thou righteous protected speech. Forget that no one asked for your two cents, ^[1]or that said person couldn’t spell even simple words properly if all you do is hide behind your ignorance then don’t expect any mercy from me. For every verse you give me about those devious homos, I can give you 10 more about the sinning hetero’s. 🙂

I’ve lost all tolerance for these wackos. If you come at me with bile and drivel, I’ll give it right back to you.

/ rant

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References
↑1	or that said person couldn’t spell even simple words properly

Scurr’ed

It’s no secret I rarely rant about politics. Of course, there are times where I feel compelled to speak up. The current political climate would be hysterical if it wasn’t so incredibly scary.

The attack on Prez Obama continues simply because is he is black. I doubt anyone can now deny that racism is alive and well in this country today. Oh it has learned to cover its head w/pretty catch phrases but a skunk is still a skunk. And while I’ll be the first to admit Prez Obama has let me down, he has also shown a remarkable willingness to promote many gay Americans to positions of authority and power. And for all the folks out there threatening NOT to vote for him next year or not vote at all, I’ll remind you that the choices on the GOP are far far worse than any let-downs President Obama may have inflicted on us. Tread carefully in your self-righteous anger. We need to continue to support Obama while continuing to demand he take more action to help us toward true equality. If not, we have no one to blame but ourselves for letting those who would see us 2nd-class citizens (or worse, dead) win the battle.

I must admit I am somewhat surprised by the views of several of the “christian” organizations out there, NOM (NO on Marriage) and the dual freaks Eugene Delgaudio & Bryan Fischer to just name a few. These folks hide behind their religious dogma and preach hatred and lies in the name of what is “right.” They talk about the moral majority with a fervor that is unparalleled. I think it’s because deep in their tiny cruel insecure hearts they know the majority is changing. People care less and less about being told what they should do and more about what they need to do to survive. More and more every day people are waking up to the simple truth that gays are just normal folks who just happen to have a same-sex attraction. To combat that eventual ideology change, these hate-mongers spew their vitriol and venom at every opportunity to continually scare their listeners into fearing the gays.

I have no problem with someone who honestly disagrees with me or my life. I disagree with many folks myself. And while I think the above mentioned folks are horribly misguided, I could at least respect them if they held to the “values” they claim to espouse. But these folks have no convictions, morals, or values. They are simply afraid of the unknown and they will stop at nothing to keep that fear alive. Their flimsy morals are discarded as they push for their way of life to be the only way of life.

I’ve always said I think the biggest way to change people’s perceptions of us is to live openly/honestly. The more of us that live our lives in the open w/no shame, the more ordinary folks will realize we are different but only in very subtle ways…ways that in the grand scheme of things matter very little.

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↑1	and the LGBT umbrella that includes

Work In

I don’t get people sometimes. So I’m at the gym one day last week working out, doing my thing. The gym is a tad busier than normal but not overly so. I’m working my arms and I see this guy doing the triceps dip machine. I walk up and very politely ask if I can work in with him. He snaps, ‘sure‘ and proceeds to storm away in a huff.

I was actually surprised because 1) I was very polite and 2) my tone and demeanor was clearly indicative of my willingness to be denied. While it is the policy of the gym that members should share equipment, I know how it is to be in your zone, time schedule, routine, etc and I don’t get offended if someone isn’t willing to share. Of course, if I’d been working a free-weight bench with a big weight difference, I wouldn’t be as willing. Trying to swap off/on weights is a major pain. And while I don’t like people that hog benches because they are too busy gossiping/yakking with friends or bouncing between machines, this machine is as simple as flipping a switch to change the weight. Seriously, its that damn easy.

Of course, I laughed it off and finished my set. Hell, he made it easier for me as I no longer had to wait on him. He came back down about 15 minutes later glaring to see if anyone was on the bench. I’d already started my next set but was tempted to go over and tell him, ‘next time instead of throwing a tantrum like a 12-yr old girl just have the balls to say no.‘ I thought better of it though. He probably would have had an even bigger hissy fit and frankly I didn’t feel like dealing with the drama.

So here is a little advice for those of you who do hit the gym on a regular basis. Be willing to share equipment or have enough of a spine to say no if you don’t. Barring the above mentioned caveats, don’t storm off in a huff because you’re a passive-aggressive ~~pussy~~ ~~pansy~~ ~~dumb-ass~~ wimp.

GHHD #3

GHHD #3 is almost upon us again. This weekend marks the 3rd largest gay event of the year in SF. Halloween used to rank in at #4 but because of mayhem caused by outside hoodlums and low-lifes, the city put the kabasch on it.

The gym has been a flutter all week with guys trying to buff up before the weekend. lol I hate to break it to ya but it’s gonna take more than a week fellas. hehehe

Anyway, I’ll probably go to the fair but am not attending any of the big parties this year. Money is tight for one, and two I’m just not that motivated. Actually, I think I’m a little burned out. I’ve done the St Fairs every year since moving here (minus 1 or 2 exceptions) and I think I can miss one or two. 🙂

If you’re coming to the big event, be naughty, be safe, and say hi if you see me roaming around.

References[+]

References
↑1	Gay High Holy Day aka Foslom St Fair

That Way

Apparently, the gay blogosphere has erupted in another faux scandal because some ‘actor’, Logan McCree, just came out as bi instead of full on gay. My first thought is ‘why is this news?’ Then I think on how much money the porn industry makes. lolol

I didn’t know who he was so did a quick google search. ^[1]with the safety filter turned off Let me just say, if he is bi, mercy-me he must be one-fine actor! The few clips I saw showed someone who was definitely into his work. lol Whether he is really bi or not is a pointless argument IMHO. Kinsey pretty much proved sexuality runs the gambit from polar straight on one end to polar gay on the other. Why must we (on both sides of the fence) continually try to label everyone as one or the other.

Looking beyond that we get to the why of it. In one camp, you have the folks who insist he is lying for some ulterior reason. We’ll probably never know for sure because the only person who’ll ever know is Logan. That said, the only reason I could really see for lying would be the whole “gay for pay” idea that keeps getting rammed down our throats these days. It seems like he is getting plenty (of work) so not too sure there. But as nauseating as it sounds, maybe he thinks he’ll be able to demand more money. A sad testament if that’s his reason. ^[2]I seem to remember reading recently about some other porny boy who “went straight” but I got the impression he was lying to save face in the new town where he was moving.

Then you have the whole “I can’t believe it, I feel so betrayed.” folks. Let me get this straight, you feel betrayed because the image you built up in your mind of said person has been shattered? An image created of someone you only see in completely contrived scenarios? Really? My response is get over it. The reality is almost never the same as the image. Living in SF, I can tell you from experience they are almost never like the ‘purdy moving pictures.’ And referring back to the whole gay for pay crap, maybe its so prevalent in the industry now he didn’t see the harm in admitting his big secret? Are you seriously going to stop watching him now because he likes a little V with his P&A?

Frankly, I could care less as long as he isn’t running around being hypocritical or hurting others. Being as I don’t know the nitty gritty, I’ll save my moral indignation for more important subjects. In the end, I’ve always been a big proponent of honesty. If he is coming clean, so to speak, good for him. If not, then it will catch up to him sooner or later.

References[+]

References
↑1	with the safety filter turned off
↑2	I seem to remember reading recently about some other porny boy who “went straight” but I got the impression he was lying to save face in the new town where he was moving.

To Bear or Not to Bear

I was reading somewhere recently about how the “bear” community has become less inclusive lately and more intolerant of anyone who doesn’t fit the mold. It was bound to happen eventually. This is the problem w/sub-cultures. They start out with the purpose to unite those who fit a certain quality but then turn sour when said group becomes more prolific. I hate to say it but I’ve noticed it a bit myself over the last few years.

It is human nature to want to belong and feel connected to others like ourselves. Its vital to our growth to find others we can identify with. Growing up generally ostracized and excluded by society at large, I think the need is that much greater among gays. ^[1]and by “gay”, I include the LGBT umbrella of folks. Being able to identify with others helps reinforce our own self-worth and self-image. Speaking from my own experiences, I can tell you the drive to belong can be very powerful. I spent many years pretending to be someone I wasn’t in an effort to belong and just as many years figuring out how to belong when I didn’t really identify wholly with one group or another. It definitely stunted my own self-worth. And while I didn’t take the darker path, the drive to fit-in can lead to destructive behaviors.

While many find “coming out” a completely liberating experience, others often find it less than appealing and almost anti-climatic. While the basic same-sex attraction can be a very unifying experience, it is by no means all-encompassing. Being gay is an intrinsic part of who we are but it isn’t all we are. Being gay gives us a commonality but it isn’t always a binding one in itself. A lot of folks discover we don’t quite fit the stereotype(s) and are left searching for our own niche, hence the sub-cultures.

While beneficial on the surface, there is a danger of said sub-cultures if they become too defining. Identifying solely as such tends to limit one’s growth and self-expression. We become locked in an ideology that leaves very little room for change. Not to mention, it can also be very subjective. Ask 10 random people the definition of a [insert sub-culture of choice here] and I’ll bet no 2 answers will be the same. And then over time, what started as a simple attempt to fit in, becomes the very thing we sought to avoid.

Of course, our sexuality does play a huge part. Our attraction (or not) is often interwoven into all of the above. On the flip-side, it also has to do with our self-worth and feeling attractive. I’ve often said and it bears repeating attraction and acceptance are not the same thing. A very important and often over looked distinction.

For myself, I was fortunate enough to discover I didn’t need to fit one specific mold or stereotype to fit in. It didn’t happen right away mind you. There are aspects of my personality and id that cross several sub-cultures, cliques, or whatever and I’m cool with that. I work out w/o being a gym bunny or meat head. I have bearish qualities w/o being a bear. I can wear/appreciate leather w/o being absorbed by it. These are just a few, there are definitely more. Whether you identify w/a particular group, club, clique, gang, whatever you call it, I would encourage anyone reading this to allow yourself to accept others for who they are not what they represent. Don’t allow your attraction (or the lack of) influence your acceptance of others.

References[+]

References
↑1	and by “gay”, I include the LGBT umbrella of folks.

GHHD

Well gay fans, Gay High Holy Day #1 (aka Pride) is here. This weekend promises to be a doozey as the weather is nice. Instead of blathering on about the need for gay holidays, pride, etc this year I thought I’d just wish everyone a happy and safe Pride weekend. I figure if you don’t know by know why we still need such events, your obviously living under a rock somewhere. Whether you’re out in a major way or just going about your daily life, take a moment to look back on how far we’ve come and the road still ahead.

I’ll be out and about. I don’t have any concrete plans other than the Pink party on Saturday and the festival on Sunday. I’m sure shenanigans will ensue at some point but you know I’m not one to gossip. Lol I’m dirt poor at the moment but thankfully the event is mostly free. I won’t be doing any big parties or that sort of thing.

So as I said, whether you’ll be tooting it up or having a quiet evening at home, reflect for a moment and be proud of who/what you are. Know that you are not alone and that across the country you’re brethren, who were born ‘a little different’ just like you, are celebrating our freedoms.

Have a safe and happy Pride weekend all.

Assume The Position

On a recent ride, I found it somewhat amusing when a riding buddy shocked an employee of a local and very busy biker hangout. Basically, the employee replied to a buddy’s comment about it being a nice day. The employee said something to the effect, “and the pretty girls.” Well my (male) friend w/o even really thinking anything of it said, “and the pretty guys“. You could tell it was totally not the answer the employee was expecting! Now don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t ignorant or stupid, he was just surprised. He didn’t break stride or even turn around. It was a very subtle but obvious change in his movements that gave him away. It also cracked me the hell up! This leads me into my post today.

My assumption is that because we were motorcycle riders, he naturaly assumed we were straight. Of course, I get that it ties into Western society’s over-emphasis on male/fem characteristics, hobbies, etc. But that’s a way deeper well to dive into on some other day…

Anyway, it struck me as noteworthy because I’ve become so accustomed to my openness about being gay. I just so rarely think about it in a public forum anymore. I always just assume anyone who meets me knows I’m gay. I make no pretense about it how could they not know? [Insert joke here] It still surprises me when someone doesn’t pick up on it. ( On an unrelated side note, this begs the question about gays learning to pick up on said subtle clues more astutely than our straight counter-parts.)

Of course, I’d forgotten that perception can be a powerful thing. I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage, ‘perception is 9/10’s of reality.‘ Well, case and point. lol The human brain becomes hard-wired to expect certain actions, in this case behaviors. It will often (given time and/or more cues) pick up on subtle, out-of-the-norm differences, sometimes consciously, sometimes not. I’m sure given more time to observe us, the employee would have figured it out. 😉 Ironically, now that I think back on it, I can remember several rides where the same thing has occurred.

My buddy and I got a nice chuckle out it nonetheless. And we continued to cruise guys.