culture – Page 19 – Moby Files: Blog

Boyfriend Material

**This is sort of an adult rant today**

A friend ask me today “so when are you going to start dating again?” I never know how to answer such a question. I don’t really look or not look for a boyfriend. I’m of the belief that if you are looking then you are putting to much emphasis on the act and it becomes fatally flawed. I like to look at it as “being available” should a potential boyfriend strike my fancy. Simply put, I’m open to dating I just don’t put an emphasis on it and I don’t feel the need to date just to be in a relationship. On the same token, I also don’t feel the need to cloak my playtime as dating. If I’m out for some nookie well that’s what is nookie. Why lie?

I always find it funny when one of my friends says,

oh I met this great guy and we really clicked but I met him in a __________, I could never have a relationship w/him.

You can fill in the blank. Another notion I don’t understand. If you’re meeting someone in a place you both chose to go, then obviously you have it in common. Does that somehow preclude you from being anything but fuck buddies? You can’t use morality here w/o sounding like a hypocrite. And I think that’s what it really boils down too. It’s ok if I do it but it’s not ok if he does it. Flawed reasoning at it’s best in my opinion.

Well, gee Moby, that’s something to think about, let’s ponder it. But wait! There’s MORE! What I really don’t understand is guys who go to sexclubs or online hookup sites looking specifically for a boyfriend and then they get upset when people contact them for sex. Ex-squeeze me?

As I’ve said before, I try to be the type of person I’d want to date. Does that work for everyone? Of course not. Does it work for me? Most definitely.

Castro

This weekend is Castro St Fair. I normally like to go but am stuck at work. (Remember, no more weekends off for me for awhile.) It’s a nice sunny day today w/temps in the 70’s. Perfect day if you ask me. Warm w/o being hot.

I’m feeling a bit better today. It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep will do for ya.

Folsom Weekend 2005 II

**Warning – this post isn’t exactly work friendly

Sunday was the fair and I spent most of the day managing the BCC booth. Once again, I kept forgetting to take pics. I got to meet Jack Hampster too! He stopped by the booth and introduced himself. I was hoping he’d stop by.

Mr. January 2006 hard at work signing calendars.

The very handsome and sweet Joey.

David & Marty stopped by to say hi. (A testament to my poor picture skills w/crappy lighting)

Didier and I got a kick out of this pic. Here is little Alan diligently signing calendars. Poor thing he can barely see over the table!

Two more of the calendar boys George and Barry shakin’ their groove thang. (they should stick to being pretty I think)

Gratuitous butt shot!

Mostovic came by too. I got such a giggle realizing the sign behind the pic afterwards.

I love seeing guys holding hands so I couldn’t resist this pic.

Sexy Ivan stopped by and said hi. His energy is very infectious along w/his laugh.

Another calendar guy Chris (left) and a hottie who made me swoon. (keep scrolling and you’ll see why!)

The hottie’s butt! Da-YUM!

Hottie #2. I enticed him over for a quick shot. Oy Vey!

All the guys did a great job promoting calendars and helping out. I was very proud to be apart of the charity. The day went off w/o a hitch.

Afterwards, Bobby showed up in his new army pants and we went off to dinner. Then home for a power nap and a goog soak in the jacuzzi.

Today, I had to teach computer training to the new dispatcher class then off to study group. I had a great weekend but I wore myself out. I’m a bit lethargic today. Whew!

Photoshop Bliss

I’m up late so I thought I’d rant. I had an ‘occurance’ today and figured I would share it. I’m on a break from work and I run over to Taco Bell for some food. (That nutrious and healthy place that it is.) This guy stops me and says hello like he knows me. Sorta breaks into conversation. I assume he knows me thru the blog and wants to introduce himself. I could tell after I started talking we weren’t on the same page so I finally just asked him how he knew me? It took me a moment to realize who he was. When it hit me, I was secretly shocked. This guy looked nothing like his pics and I do mean nothing! Ok, I know I’m sounding crazy, let me explain. He has a profile online and has chatted me up before. We’ve exchanged pleasantries, blah blah blah. What I didn’t know until today, his pics are so photoshopped I would never have recognized him. Never! I finally told him too. I said, “you know, I should tell you I think you need new pics as I would never have recognized you.” He was like, “Really? you think they are that far off?” Without really thinking what I was saying, I then proceeded to blurt out, “yes cause the ones you have are so photoshopped, I don’t think anyone would recognize you.” I didn’t really mean it to be rude but I think he took it that way. He got real un-friendly and didn’t offer much conversation after that.

So basically, he lied about who he is and then got “huffed” when someone called him on it. I guess I ruined his ego for the day. I’m such a bastard sometimes w/o even knowing it I guess. Sorry.

**Note, I looked for his profile when I got home and it is “no longer available”. Maybe he took the hint. Ya think?

Dore Weekend

I can’t believe I didn’t blog about Dore weekend. For those of you not in the know, this weekend was the Dore Alley fair. It’s basically a smaller version of the Folsom St Fair. I worked the booth again for the BCC. One, it kept me out of mischief and two, I get such a rewarding feeling from doing it. Not to mention, it’s a lot of fun. I get to stand around and look pretty. hehehe.

I had planned to take tons of pics but I took the wrong memory card so I only got a few. However, Tim and Norm, the photographers for the calendar, will send me some of theirs. I’ll post more later.

Well, if you like that last pic you’ll love these. Here I am caught off guard w/a clueless look on my face! lol

The re-take looks much better to me. Course, we always judge ourselves different from others. What say you?

Painful Reminder

I’m gonna go off on a rant here. (The trip info is still in works.)

Why are men such dicks?

I’ve been chatting w/a friend from back home in Houston via email for a few days now. Due to my schedule on such a short trip, we did not get time to visit in person. Anyway, I discovered he recently split w/his bf. There seem to be some striking parallels between his and my breakup. I got very teary eyed after reading his latest email. The pain he is going thru is all too familiar. Saying ‘it will get better’ is so cliche. We all know it will but, it does nothing to lesson the pain now.

I think I’m gonna start a sex site called “Sex with Strings”. Meaning…yeah you can hook up for sex but the focus is also on finding someone compatible out of bed as much as in bed. Wouldn’t that be a gas!? I wonder if it would go over well. I’m obviously trying to make light of things here. However, I do believe that our culture has these polarity in regards to sex and relationships. It’s always “looking for long term LTR not hookups” or “looking for hookups only“. Why can’t you look for both? I know it ties into our irrational need to conform to the hetero morality. Lets face it folks, men are wired differently than women. So when you take women out of the equation, it doesn’t make sense to try and apply rules that were never meant for same sex relationships. DUH! I’m not saying monogamy doesn’t have a place in same sex LTR’s, (which so many often intepret I do), just that we need to be honest w/ourselves and our partners about our needs/desires. It’s that simple.

Ok, I’m totally off focus here but that’s it for now. I need to get ready for work.

Straight-Acting?

I’m going on a rant today.

Does anyone get annoyed when you see those “straight-acting” logo’s that are numbered to represent how “straight-acting” you are? I absolutely detest those things. When I encounter them online, my respect for said person drops significantly. Probably not fair on my part but I can’t help it.

I’m loathe to admit it but when the site (no, I won’t link to it) first came out years (and I do mean years) ago, I took the test. I have an excuse as I was barely out of my teens and still ignorant. Even then, I was immediately disappointed w/the questions. Questions that are completely biased. Not to mention, it perpetuates the negative backward view our society has developed of what it means to be a “masculine” man. For example, if you enjoy gardening, that drops your point scale significantly. I know some pretty hot fucking landscapers who sweat more masculinity than some of these queens who wear their logo’s like a badge of honor.

I’m not bitter, nope, uh-huh, not me. (I just think we have enough battles to fight w/o fostering internalized homophobia amongst ourselves.)

Pain or Pride?

The weekend fast approaches and with it comes Gay Pride celebration. The city is already a buzz w/visitors arriving early. The Castro is crawling w/tourists and newbies gawking, giggling, laughing, etc. Not that I mind at all. The eye candy is always stimulating. It just makes things a bit difficult when you are trying to get from point M to point Q and everyone stops w/o notice in the middle of the sidewalk. No, I don’t mind at all.

My annoyance is fleeting however. I support Pride celebrations 100%. That said, I’ve already noticed the pride-bashing on several blogs. Gays who think they are above pride or look down on it because it shows the more ‘colorful’ side of our community. I, for one, am grateful for the more flamboyant side of our culture. After all, they helped to jump start our movement in the first place. The excuse that it does nothing but hurt our cause doesn’t hold water in my opinion. The only people who dislike pride celebrations hate us already. Oh and the pathetic attempt at ‘decency in front of children’? Oh please! My straight parents inflicted way more harm on me than seeing a half naked man/woman at a parade ever could.

I guess the point I am trying, not so elegantly, to make is Pride is not about all the hoopla you see at parades. It is about what you feel inside. Acceptance of yourself. The realization that you are not a freak, a disease, or an abomination as so many would have you believe. You are a human being, like every other, born into an imperfect world. A world that, for all it’s advances, hasn’t managed to grow up yet. Empower yourself this Pride. Whether you’re out on float dancing your ass off or home, as usual, doing what it is you do, take a moment to reflect and be happy w/the life you’ve been given. Good or bad, it is what you make of it. That is true of all of us – gay,straight, bi, whatever.

BCC Meet & Greet II

Ok, so here are the pics I promised.

#1 Kitten on the Keys doing a quck “kitty pose” for the camera.

kitty pose

#2 Here is Kitton on the Keys BEFORE the wardrobe malfunction. (Janet is furious!)

Wardrobe

#3 OH, here is that “guitar player” I mentioned…..*how did that get in there*

Lead Guitar Man

#4 PepperSpray in full glam doing IT!

PepperSpray!
If you look just inside the bent arm of the Lead Singer in Stripes, you can see my mug poking out. I was helping w/the sound stage.

#5 Last but not least, me forcing a smile after a LONG day.

Tired Moby

Me Man, You Woman…oomf oomf!

Thanks to Johnny is a Man for the fantastic link to this post. By far, one of the most eloquent statements I’ve ever read. While a bit on the derogatory side, it summed up a huge chunk of how I feel about internalized homophobia in our community.

(snip)
This Rocco queen is pissing me off. He’s currently trotting out little more than a kernal of experience (along with several dollops of resentment towards the gay community) as evidence supporting the same tired, warmed-over horseshit about how uppity gays who get bashed were really asking for it because they weren’t walking around in a constant state of siege.

(snip)
Basically hes saying that gays have gotten uppity, let their guard down, and should simply accept the fact that if they behave too much like fags, they shouldnt be surprised when they get bashed. And how reassuring an argument it is that all you need to do to prevent getting bashed is butch it up, and if you cant or wont conform to the macho code, tough shit.

Having heard the issue of masculinity beaten to and fro like an old dog it’s refreshing to see a better perspective. More and more we (as gays) are beginning to see beyond the shallow confines of the implied prerequisites of being a “man” in this country.