Category: drama

Opening a Can of Worms?

So much to cover today and so little time! I think I’ll do individual posts instead of one big one.

First the long one. I sorta opened a can of worms this week. To understand, you probably need a refresher on previous drama. This all comes into play right when I started blogging so not a lot of the story is complete. Yes, it involves the ex but only in a previous context. No, its not me moping again. I think I’m finally beyond that.

Preface: The ex moved in w/me mid 2003, he got really sick right after that w/pancreatitis. So sick in fact, he almost died. Skipping forward 6 months, he finally got better. He’d lost a lot of weight though. So one of his goals was to try to get back in shape enough to try out for the SOMA Bare Chest Calendar contest. It’s a charity event held every year that raises money for local AIDS charities, two specifically. I thought this a great idea and was very supportive. Naturally, he won and was the month of May for the 2004 Calendar. Skipping forward again, the calendar had an indirect impact on our breakup so I tend to have mixed feelings about it. However, I’m a big believer in charity so in the beginning I offered my web design services for free to help out. It was put to me that someone else was doing it and my help was not needed.

Current: I ran into one of the calendar committee members this past week at Daddybucks [1]Starbucks for those not in the know in the Castro. I’ll admit I’m a little sweet on him but that’s another story. *g* So, we start talking and I offered some very frank yet constructive advice on problems w/the previous year’s strategies. He was very accepting of the advice and agreed. So one thing led to another and a few emails later he asked if I’d be willing to help out on the committee, the web design, or both. I was truly flattered and felt a bit guilty for being a bit negative about the calendar previously. (yeah, I can be a caddy gossipy queen but I’m working on it, alright?) It’s not really their fault my ex and I broke up so to hold them partly accountable is a bit irrational. While my schedule is not flexible enough for me to be a full time committee member it is flexible enough for me to help out on the website. After a bit soul searching, I agreed. One, I enjoy it and it gives me a great way to meet people. Two, I like being in the background as far as charities are concerned. Being a very social creature, I have an unconscious habit of focusing people on me. That is never good for a charity so I like to take back seat roles to prevent that from happening. Three, this is a way for me to make up for my previous negativity. I have no desire to be on the Calendar itself for a variety of reasons. (we won’t go there)

Now here comes the catch. Between my first conversation and agreeing to do it, one of my old bosses emailed me wanting me to help them redo their company website as well. They are paying of course and their demands are a bit high. I just hope I haven’t bitten off more than I can chew. The calendar just wants updates more than anything which is relatively easy so I’m not thinking it will be a problem. However, I did sort of offer to redo the entire site originally. While it would not take all of my resources it would make me a very busy boy for awhile. I’m hoping they relegate me to just menial tasks of doing updates. The irony is I normally detest such a role and that was part of the reasoning behind my original refusal.

I’m still trying to find the lesson in all of this. I know there is one in there somewhere. *digging profusely*

References

References
↑1 Starbucks for those not in the know

Holiday – oops!

Since I’m working, I’ll keep this short. [1]I’m posting via email so if it comes out screwy I’ll fix it later..

Tonight is a big night for drunk driver fatalities. I ask you, PLEASE, if you get toasty, call a cab, walk, take the bus, whatever it takes. Don’t drive drunk. And if you are in SF, the police are out in force tonight doing random stops so that goes double for my fellow SF’cans.

Have fun but be safe!

References

References
↑1 I’m posting via email so if it comes out screwy I’ll fix it later..

Moved – Final Chapter

Say it with me….I am finally fucking done moving! Twice in 15 days and I’m SOOOOOO over it. *G*

So, I’m in the new place which is sort of the old place. If you’ve been keeping up you know exactly what I mean. If you haven’t, for shame! I’m slowly settling in. The only thing worse than packing is unpacking! Of course, I tend to stick stuff in any box it will fit so after making myself open every box, I’m discovering stuff I forgot I had!

On a related rant, I feel like this is the end of a chapter in my life. Not sure where its coming from really. Maybe its the little bits of my karma I’ve seen coming back to me over the last few days. Who knows. I just have this growing feeling of closure. Just in the last month I’ve survived a breakup w/the boyfriend, two separate moves (and all that entails), and switching gyms over a greedy manager. Other than being flat broke for the first time in a long time, I think things are looking up. Maybe, its jut having a moment to breath w/o worrying about the future. Dunno for sure but I like it. Hopefully, I’ve seen the last of heavy drama for awhile. I haven’t quite worked it all out in my head at the moment so more later…

The Move – 2nd edition

Ok, well for those of you just turning in, I’m moving AGAIN this Thursday and Friday. Where? you might ask. Right back into the same place I just moved from. Just a different apt this time.

I spent the better part of the morning on the phone begging utility companies not to double charge me for transfer fees. No luck I’m afraid. However, all is not lost. My Karma, while a bit scarce this month, is slowly coming back strong. I got the same size apt for only a fraction more in rent than before. I could have ended up paying a lot more as the rental rates have been on a steady rise since June. The leasing company was more than happy to take me back. I had to re-apply but, was approved right away. I ended up w/the same size unit w/a different layout. I have twice as much closet space than the old apt, better views, and new carpet & tile so all and all not a bad deal.

The only downer is I’m so strapped financially, I’m not even sure I can cover the expenses for the rest of the month. And don’t even mention Christmas. I’m normally very generous so I think my friends/family can make do w/o me for one year. Who knows? Maybe I’ll defy the odds and win the lotto. Course, that means I have to actually play lotto first. [mental note – play lotto]

I actually came home early tonight as I’ve been feeling achey all day. I’m crossing my fingers that a good night’s rest will do the trick. I just don’t think my battered id will survive another attack right now. If you see headlines about a “crazy fag gone wild at a Uhaul center…”it means I lost it! *sigh* Seriously though, I’m actually in good spirits. With all the bad shit these last couple of months, things seem to be slowly turning around.

Wish me luck!

Gym Shinnanigans & Revelations

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this is not my month! I’ve had more drama in one month than all of the previous months this year. For whatever reason, the fates have decided this is my month of trials. I guess its good for my blog because it gives me something to rant about. (G)

I ended up switching gyms today. Not by choice mind you. I’ve been a Gold’s member for just over 4 years (since I moved to SF). So today, I go in like usual and the desk guy tells me my membership is up and I need to renew. I’m thinking no biggie, I’ll just renew and be done w/it. As you can guess, things didn’t go quite so smoothly. Apparently, the City & County has decided not to renew their corporate plan w/Golds. Not that it should affect me as I’m already a current member right? Wrong! Golds wanted to charge me full price for a new yearly membership! Basically, double what I normally pay to renew. Rather than make a big deal about it, I just politely said, “no thanks, I’ll take my business elsewhere.” So then he says, “well unless you renew right now, you will not be able to work out today.” Didn’t matter that my membership actually expired today. At that point, I wanted to say something rather nasty but held my tongue.

I’ll admit, my sarcasm does get the best of me at times. Today was different. I guess I sort of expected it as this has been the month from hell. I’m a big believer in metaphysical energies, chakras, etc and I’ve just drained my “pool” this month. I have had a lot dumped on my plate lately and I’m fed up w/being upset by problems that are out of my control.

So back to the story, I leave the gym and figure, while I’m out, I’ll shop around. Apprehensively, I checked out 24 Hour Fitness. Five minutes in the door I knew it was a no-go. The energy was all wrong and the sales guy was a bumbling idiot who couldn’t answer one single question w/o looking it up. I’ll leave it at that. There is another gym called Crunch just a few blocks from where I work. I guess you could call it a specialty gym. It’s owned by Ballys and it sort of has a reputation for being pricey. I thought “what the hell, it can’t hurt to check.” Immediately in the door, I got a really good feel from the layout and they had most of the equipment I like. They also have a climbing wall, boxing ring, and quite a few amenities I’m not used too. I thought those might be extra but, it was all included. The sales rep. was personable and knowledgeable. She answered every question w/o having to once look it up or ask someone. She wasn’t pushy and never once tried to strongarm me. That goes a long way in my book. The only thing worse than a pushy salesman is a pushy lawyer. *shivers* I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, I joined Crunch. You’d be right. What you haven’t guessed is how well I made out. The sales rep. and I struck up a great conversation and I discovered she is looking into becoming a Paramedic as well. We had a long talk about my work and I gave her some advice on what to do. She ended up bending over backwards to get me a really great rate; even better than the original quote. In the end, I got the membership for a steal! Some might say it was my Karma coming back to me for not being nasty to the Manager at Golds. Who am I to disagree. (G)

I guess the point of all this ramble is simple. The older I get the more I realize, there are times in life when we are faced w/tasks or problems that can be very demoralizing. It is how we respond to these problems that define our character and well being. You can try to control every aspect of your life and go absolutely mad doing it. Or, you can realize that no matter what you do, sometimes shit happens. You just have to brace yourself, roll up your sleeves, and slough thru it. All the while, remembering who you are and what you hope to accomplish.

Ok, I’m done now. I don’t about you but, I feel MUCH better! (big grin)

DSL

They finally fixed the DSL this morning. Five full days AFTER it was supposed to be on. After all the pissing/moaning I did they could only give me a $10.00 credit on my bill. Puh-lease! If anyone is getting high speed internet, I highly recommend cable vs dsl. Faster speeds, easier to setup, and less drama anytime there is a problem. I’m definitely switching when my contract is up now that I have a choice again.

Frustration�

First off, my DSL is STILL down. SBC can go @#$%! themselves for all I care. If its not up tomorrow, I’m canceling and going w/Comcast, fee or no fee. The service is active but I keep getting the run-a-round as to why its not working. Its either their server or server connection…blah blah blah. I just want my freaking DSL working already. I’m like an addict w/o his drugs here….

On a depressing note, looks like I’ll be moving AGAIN. Yes, you read it right, AGAIN! As if I didn’t have enough drama in my life right now. This past thur/fri, I moved my stuff into the new place. Along the way, I encounted a few problems.

Problem #1:
The U-haul truck breaks down and has to be towed back to the yard. As luck would have it, it was half full so I got to reload it onto a new truck. [1]Oh the joy! The saving grace to all the drama w/the truck is I ended up not paying a dime. At least I got a small silver lining on this cloud.

Problem #2:
I finally get to the new place and the owner isn’t out yet. He was supposed to be out the first week of November. Here it is the 13th and he is still dragging his feet. Not unsurmountable but still annoying.

Problem #3: (and yes, I saved the best for last)
He leaves a lease agreement on the table for me to “look over” and sign. After moving my stuff in all day, I finally take a look at it and discover out of nowhere, he wants 3 months worth of rent up front. Basically, first months rent and then 2 more months as a deposit.

Now let me clarify at this point, HE came to me asking if I wanted to move into his place so he’d have someone he trusted in the house. He actually bent over backwards to make the offer appealing enough to me so I’d actually move. (The house is in the ‘burbs of SF and I like being in the center of the city) At no time does he ever discuss a deposit. It was all discussed as a verbal agreement between friends. Frankly, I wasn’t ready to move. I had given the idea some thought w/the breakup and all but hadn’t made any serious plans. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind paying a deposit or signing a lease but, 3 MONTHS! Thats fucking ridiculous. So after several arguments (I use the term “argument” loosely at this point) the deal is off and I’m looking for yet another place. I’m so annoyed I think I could really just snap if someone pushes me this week. I’ll probably end up here for at least 2 months while I save up money and search for a place. And just in time for Christmas. Merry fucking Christmas!

At this point, I’ve had some time to calm down. I should mention there have been some bright spots in my week as well. The ex is out of course. He moved in w/his best friend so at least that’s over. I discovered an old collection account from Cingular has been removed from my credit. Apparently, Cingular lost a class action law suit over unfair business practices and improperly charging customers. Score one for the little guys!

On a completely unrelated note, I made a casual date w/this hottie I often see at the gym. (No no drama fans, I’m not rushing into anything. Just a casual date for fun.) So maybe next week well go a little better! Hope springs eternal….

References

References
↑1 Oh the joy!

Drama 101 and other Head Games

Ok, since my ex continues to play head games from hereafter he shall be referred to as shithead. [1]yes, I thought it was very colorful too

Preface:
He isn’t working so he took the part-time night job at an erotic store in the Castro. He didn’t come home last night. Fine by me as I wasn’t in the mood for him anyway. So this morning I call him to come by so we can go grocery shopping. (He has the car) Immediately after getting home, he starts asking me, what’s wrong? I figure he is either paranoid or feeling guilty. Either way, I didn’t rise to the bait.

Anyway, we get our chores done and get home and he “discovers” an unknown person called him. A few minutes later, I hear him in the bathroom trying to have a conversation w/Mr. Unknown. How stupid does he think I really am? I mean come on, we live in a 765sq ft apartment. How can I not hear him? Anyway, my first impulse was to get upset. However, two things clicked in my head all at once. One, I don’t really care so why get upset. Two, he is very immature for his age. I had forgotten I am only his 2nd adult relationship. His first lasted 8 years but did not end well. I can see why now. In fairness, I’ve met his previous ex and the guy is a complete self-centered asshole.

The realization hit me that for 37yrs old shithead really is not that adept at managing his life or relationships. He has never matured enough in this area to function on an adult level. How I could have missed this before astounds me. Especially, since I’ve been down that same road and grown from it. I guess its funny what love does to you.

Of course, realizing this means I am finally moving beyond my hurt/anger and seeing the bigger picture. It means I’m beginning to let go of him. I guess every dark cloud does have a silver lining! (yeah, I know it sounds hokey but it fits the moment)

References

References
↑1 yes, I thought it was very colorful too

Bad Day

I’m not even sure how to start this one. I’m annoyed enough I could break something. As pathetic as it sounds, I discovered today that several of my ex-partner’s friends keep checking my blog in the sole attempt to report back on my “comments” regarding our split. The stupidity of said people is overwhelming considering I monitor my blog traffic IP addresses and my blog is public. On top of that, my ex seems to think I’m stupid enough to not hear about if from people we know. Not to mention everything on my blog, I’ve said to his face. But enough on that.

So here is a comment for you nosy pests. Yeah we split up. Feel better now? Just itching to swoop in and take my place? My advice to you is go for it!

Changes to the Blog

Because of annoying pest I’ve had to lock my blog down. This way if said person chooses to continue to harass me he can be tracked and dealt with. My apologies to any non bloggers in advance.