Author: Moby

Moving & Separation

Well, I’ve been busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest this past week so haven’t been posting much lately. I had all these great rants I wanted to squeeze in but now I’ve misplaced/forgotten half of them.

I mentioned a few blogs back that I was moving. Well, today was the day. I am finished w/the first day of the move. I’m about mid way thru it and I don’t mind telling you I am tuckered out. I’ve been moving/packing all freaking day and I’m soooo over it. (g) I’m still torn about the move itself. I’m gonna be saving buttloads of cash but I really hate not being in the heart of the city. That said, I need to recoup from my financial losses this past year. (Yes, taking care of shithead was a big part of it) Not to mention, I plan to start paramedic training in the Spring or Fall. First and foremost though, I plan to be debt free by summertime. I don’t have that much debt in the scope of things. However, I’m tired of it constantly being over my head.

Since I mentioned Shithead, I guess I should give you the update on him as well. Surprisingly, he (my ex) came back from Palm Springs and didn’t put up a fight at all about me asking him to move out. As expected, he is moving-in with his best friend. He also helped out quite a bit getting ready for the move. Of course, the fact that I’m letting him store ALL his stuff at my new place for free until he gets back on his feet might have something to do with it. Everyone says I’m being too nice to him after the way he has wronged me. Try as I might, I just can’t be cruel in return. I was mistreated for so much of my childhood that I can’t or better yet, I won’t inflict that sort of torment on someone I care about. Make no mistake, I have no illusions that we’ll ever be together again. That said, I find that I’m still very much in love with him.

Tomorrow is the last day we will spend together and I just know I’m gonna be all blubbery about it. Being a typical Aquarian I’m loyal to the bitter end I guess.

Moving – AGAIN!

I have to start getting my butt in gear. I’m moving next weekend to a house near Balboa Park. I absolutely detest moving. I’d pay someone else to do it if I could afford it. But cash flow is the reason I’m moving in the first place, so maybe next time.

I shouldn’t bitch I guess. I mean I’m moving to from a tiny 1 bedroom apt into 2bedroom house w/garage, etc. I’m making out like a bandit on the rent as well.

Why can’t someone invent teleporters so we can just zap our furniture places! I think that would be the best contribution anyone could make to the 21st century. Oh well, one can dream.

Four more years of crap

I am dismayed to wake up today and discover that Dubya has been re-elected, albeit by a very slim margin. Four more years of discrimination, deceit, and more breaks for the rich. I am under the belief had the war w/Iraq been over the turnout would have been drastically different. Had the war been over, I think a lot more people would have seen Bush for what he is, a fake.

Even more troubling is there seems to be a ‘mandate’ in the house and possibly the Senate. The Republican Party used fear and, in some cases, lies to scare people away from voting their hearts. How does that shake out for all the gays? Only time will tell. We can only hope for the best now.

Wifi Everywhere!

Well, color me ignunt!

I guess I haven’t really thought much about the proliferation of wifi. I was amazed today as I was driving around town how many wifi points the new pocketpc picked up. I’m thinking in the back of my mind, maybe I’d stumble across 1 or 2 here and there. Not so. On one strip I’d have four and five separate access points every time I stopped at a traffic light. (Of course, not many were open access but, thats besides the point) Talk about a light going on? I guess I still see wifi as a geek’s toy and not a everyday convenience. I live 6 blocks from work and driving between work I picked up 10 different access points.

What is wifi you ask? Wifi stands for wireless fidelity kinda like hifi for stereos. The difference, the broadcast is thru the air using old style radio signals to transmit data. (What a ducky idea right?) The current standard is based on the 802.11 radio broacasting frequency. This frequency broadcasts using 1 to 3 gigahertz range. Several versions abound, 802.11a, 802.11b, and 802.11g. There are two new standards in the works using a slightly different style. 802.11n is a tighter, refined version of the same frequency and then there is 802.16. The latter falls into the WiMAX category. With the WiMAX standard you could take todays connection speeds, double the speed and the distance w/o any quality loss! Imagine being able to drive all over town and never loose a signal while downloading or broadcasting live video/audio feeds! Thats the power of WIMAX! (WiMax is still in development stage and won’t be available retail for months)

Wifi has been around since mid 2000 but up until recently it was very expensive and annoyingly non-user friendly. As the standard matures and production costs decrease, I guess more and more non-techies are making the leap! Who da thunk?

New Pocket Pc/PHone

Finally, an expensive PDA/Phone combo worth the money! This phone has it all folks. It seamlessly switches between wifi, cellular, or bluetooth for a internet connection all the while you can still be on the phone talking at the same time! Still a bit pricey at $500.00, this is the first model to come along truly worth the price.

I’ve been dying to get one and putting off because I simply don’t need one. Today, I wake up, sit down in front of my pc, and my old one isn’t working. The irony is my buddy kristaki and I were just talking yesterday about when I planned to get one. (The original plan was after Xmas)

I’ll admit I’m hard on my toys and the old one has surely taken a beating. So doesn’t surprise me it went kablooey. Anyway, I just got home from the store, set it up and it works flawlessly! I had it sync’d and up in running in about 15 minutes. Wahooo!

Drama 101 and other Head Games

Ok, since my ex continues to play head games from hereafter he shall be referred to as shithead. [1]yes, I thought it was very colorful too

Preface:
He isn’t working so he took the part-time night job at an erotic store in the Castro. He didn’t come home last night. Fine by me as I wasn’t in the mood for him anyway. So this morning I call him to come by so we can go grocery shopping. (He has the car) Immediately after getting home, he starts asking me, what’s wrong? I figure he is either paranoid or feeling guilty. Either way, I didn’t rise to the bait.

Anyway, we get our chores done and get home and he “discovers” an unknown person called him. A few minutes later, I hear him in the bathroom trying to have a conversation w/Mr. Unknown. How stupid does he think I really am? I mean come on, we live in a 765sq ft apartment. How can I not hear him? Anyway, my first impulse was to get upset. However, two things clicked in my head all at once. One, I don’t really care so why get upset. Two, he is very immature for his age. I had forgotten I am only his 2nd adult relationship. His first lasted 8 years but did not end well. I can see why now. In fairness, I’ve met his previous ex and the guy is a complete self-centered asshole.

The realization hit me that for 37yrs old shithead really is not that adept at managing his life or relationships. He has never matured enough in this area to function on an adult level. How I could have missed this before astounds me. Especially, since I’ve been down that same road and grown from it. I guess its funny what love does to you.

Of course, realizing this means I am finally moving beyond my hurt/anger and seeing the bigger picture. It means I’m beginning to let go of him. I guess every dark cloud does have a silver lining! (yeah, I know it sounds hokey but it fits the moment)

References

References
↑1 yes, I thought it was very colorful too