Author: Moby

Drama 101 and other Head Games

Ok, since my ex continues to play head games from hereafter he shall be referred to as shithead. [1]yes, I thought it was very colorful too

Preface:
He isn’t working so he took the part-time night job at an erotic store in the Castro. He didn’t come home last night. Fine by me as I wasn’t in the mood for him anyway. So this morning I call him to come by so we can go grocery shopping. (He has the car) Immediately after getting home, he starts asking me, what’s wrong? I figure he is either paranoid or feeling guilty. Either way, I didn’t rise to the bait.

Anyway, we get our chores done and get home and he “discovers” an unknown person called him. A few minutes later, I hear him in the bathroom trying to have a conversation w/Mr. Unknown. How stupid does he think I really am? I mean come on, we live in a 765sq ft apartment. How can I not hear him? Anyway, my first impulse was to get upset. However, two things clicked in my head all at once. One, I don’t really care so why get upset. Two, he is very immature for his age. I had forgotten I am only his 2nd adult relationship. His first lasted 8 years but did not end well. I can see why now. In fairness, I’ve met his previous ex and the guy is a complete self-centered asshole.

The realization hit me that for 37yrs old shithead really is not that adept at managing his life or relationships. He has never matured enough in this area to function on an adult level. How I could have missed this before astounds me. Especially, since I’ve been down that same road and grown from it. I guess its funny what love does to you.

Of course, realizing this means I am finally moving beyond my hurt/anger and seeing the bigger picture. It means I’m beginning to let go of him. I guess every dark cloud does have a silver lining! (yeah, I know it sounds hokey but it fits the moment)

References

References
↑1 yes, I thought it was very colorful too

Crappy Jobs!

Bad Job To Have

Ya know, I complain about my job a lot. However, I’m not sure my ego could handle having to drive around all day in this vehicle! I guess you just need perspective sometimes. LOL

The Trip – Short Version

Its amazing what some time away can do for the soul. The trip was fantastic! Surf/Sun was the order dejour with a little wave running thrown in for good measure. I’m condensing it here but if you want more details, check out the long version

I seemed to have lost the flash disc w/most of the pics on it however, I did manage to salvage a few from the camera. I can’t tell how much better I feel afterwards. Not to mention it gave me some time away from the ex to clear my head and remember what’s important to me in my life. The pain is still there, no doubt, but I’m coping w/that and am in a much better place mentally now.

I’ve been working out pretty hard this last year and was very pleased w/the ‘attention’ I got while away. hehehe I know, vain and shallow but I need some attention too! (G) I also got a good tan working now too!

Back Home

WOW! What a great trip. I’m back in town and will add details when I get time. I’m rushed today so bear w/me. I’m also annoyed that I can’t add all my pics as one blog instead of several. I’m also seem to be missing one of the flash disks….

That said, I had a great time and will post more details soon. *hugs to all*

I’m Here…Finally!

Well, I finally made it! The flight was pretty uneventful. I had a connection thru Dallas. However, I’ll never fly Delta again. Both legs of the journey were just over 2hrs and I flew in tiny planes. We are talking 1 step larger than a puddle jumper.

I’ll try to post more later….I’m off to the beach to soke up some rays and stare at male bods.

FTL Bound / Finally!

On a slightly happier note, this is my last blog from home before I head off to sunny Fort Lauderdale! I’m more than ready to get away for some nice r&r after the week of drama I’ve had. I’m all packed up and ready to go. Course my flight is at 6:40am so I gonna be cutting some major sleepy time on the plane ride.

I’m not sure if I’ll post while I’m gone. Rest assured, once I get home I’ll have lots of info and pics to share. Got the camera all packed away this time so I don’t forget it.

***Note – I always end up forgetting the camera.

Giving Up

After an argument today with the bf (or ex-bf I should say), it has become very clear to me he has no desire to reconcile and never has. With that in mind, I have given up any hope of salvaging our 3 1/2 year relationship. Most of my anger last night was over this very revelation. I must confess I’m still mystified as to why he doesn’t even care to try. Today, his only feeble attempt at a reason was “we’ve grown apart.” In the breadth of the last year, we’ve somehow grown apart. I could insert some really mean things here but what’s the point? It won’t change anything and really wouldn’t make me feel any better either.

I also discovered he is rather annoyed that I post my feelings on this blog. Several of our mutual friends, along w/a gaggle of nosey watchdogs, read it and run back to him wanting details. I make no apologies for the way I feel. I’ve said nothing here that I haven’t told him face to face. Is he afraid people will judge him based solely on my comments? If so, that’s his problem. This is my way of working thru the pain and disappointment of being discarded like yesterdays trash. I’ve been there for him thru thick and thin. I encouraged him when he was down and I applauded him when he was up. This is what I get in return. [1]Do I sound bitter here? I think so too After the way he so casually dismissed the life we had together, I’m not even sure I could take him back now.

The only thing left to do now is put it behind me, pick up the pieces of my broken heart and move on.

References

References
↑1 Do I sound bitter here? I think so too

Bad Day

I’m not even sure how to start this one. I’m annoyed enough I could break something. As pathetic as it sounds, I discovered today that several of my ex-partner’s friends keep checking my blog in the sole attempt to report back on my “comments” regarding our split. The stupidity of said people is overwhelming considering I monitor my blog traffic IP addresses and my blog is public. On top of that, my ex seems to think I’m stupid enough to not hear about if from people we know. Not to mention everything on my blog, I’ve said to his face. But enough on that.

So here is a comment for you nosy pests. Yeah we split up. Feel better now? Just itching to swoop in and take my place? My advice to you is go for it!

Me, Oh So Long Ago

Being a typical vain fag, I’m a member of several online gay muscle sites. I’ve gotten alot of requests from guys wanting to know what I looked like before I started working out.

Well folks, seeing is believing! The pic below is me circa 1990. This is me before I knew what working out was all about. (It was also me when I HAD hair).

Moby Circa 1990
As you can see, I’ve changed quite a bit since then. My goal was never to be huge, just bigger. I didn’t actually start working out in earnest until early 2000. I’ve never been one to work out so I could impress others. I got tired of being so damn skinny a good gust a wind could blow me away. Now don’t get me wrong, I like the attention I get now that I’m bigger. That said, when I started working out for my reasons, I stuck w/it. Its become a part of my life that I can’t go without. I don’t live for the gym but I go often.

On a related note, I got the chance to experiment w/a low impact steroid about a year ago after recovering from a bad case of food poisoning. By low impact I mean a pill version w/limited side-effects. While it did give me a really good pump, I found that my sex drive increased exponentially. And while this may sound like a good thing, let me explain. I’ve always had a strong libido. If you know me, you know I ain’t lyin’. So after about 2 weeks, it got to the point where I could not focus on a single task without thinking about sex. When I could get it, where, from who, how often, etc. After a while, it began to affect my daily routine and my job. I know what your thinking…”I’d kill for that” right? Wrong! When it starts affecting your life on a fundamental level, its time to quit. And quit I did.

Afterwards, I did manage to keep a little of the bulk I had gained but not much. What goes up must come down. The same is true for the body. While I peaked performance on the drug, I went thru a dip after coming off of it. My desire for sex evaporated. For the first time in my life, I knew what it meant to not be in the mood. I also couldn’t muster the same amount of energy to workout. I’d go for days w/o even going to the gym. After about 2 weeks I leveled out to normal again. I can only imagine what the stronger injectable versions would do to you. Yikes!

So the long and short of it is simple. I’m proof positive anyone can workout and improve their appearance. Its no always easy but, if it was everyone would do it.

Thats my story officer and I’m sticking to it!