Author: Moby

Relapse!

Not sure really what else to call it. And I was doing so well too….

I was completely overcome by a sense of loneliness tonight at dinner. Kind of odd for me as I’ve always been of the mindset; being alone does not necessarily mean being lonely. That said, this was distinctly loneliness. Loneliness in its raw and ugly power. I was mid way thru dinner at my favorite sushi joint in the Castro when it hit me. (The ex and I used to go there a lot.) I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t eaten there since the breakup, the holidays, or a little of both. I do know I was so overcome I had to go to the bathroom to calm myself. I was halfway into tears when the anger hit me. . .

Anger that I’ve let someone put me in the position of feeling this way. Anger that I’m making a fool of myself in public. Anger that I felt like a complete basket case if only for a few minutes. Anger that I am still capable of missing him after what he did to me. And yes anger over being angry.

And after anger came reason and sanity once again prevailed. I’m able to laugh now as I’ve managed to pulled myself together. My head knows its over. I just wish I could get my heart to fall in line. Maybe I should just admit to myself that I still have unresolved feelings about the breakup. Before I met the ex, I had reached a point in my life where I felt complete and whole. I wanted a partner but it had become a possible future instead of a goal in life. Fast forward to now, I’m having a hard time getting back to that place in my head. Damn it! Why can’t I be like Data from Star Trek. Just snap my emotions on/off on a whim? Why? Because, thats what its like to be human I guess. As sad as I get sometimes, I’m still able to remember that. And I think sometimes, thats the only thought that keeps me going. Hope springs eternal. . . .

IE Error – Fixed!

It drove me nuts until I fixed it, so I did. The blog should now display correctly in Internet Explorer. I guess there were some errors in nesting tags from the original template. (Meaning, I didn’t create the errors by adding my stuff to it, they were already there) While other browsers are apparently much more forgiving, IE is not. It has to be PERFECT. In the process, I learned a whole lot about style sheets. So not a bad trade off. I also brought back the navbar. I figure since blogger is letting me use this site for free, its the least I can do. *G*

The really good news is I now know enough about CSS (cascading style sheets) to do this on my own. I’ve already copied the flash files over to my own domain and updated the links. This way if the old site goes down or does away w/the template, I’m not screwed on my design. I also need to finish updating the old homepage. I still have bleed over links left in from the blog. I rarely give it out so its not priority #1 per say.

I guess you can say I’m a true geek. I kept waking up last night w/ideas on possible errors in the code. I literally had to force myself to sleep twice in the night. How scary is that? So long story cut short, I fixed the damn thing. Smitty will be so happy!

IE Display Faults

Ok, I don’t use Internet Explorer but I just discovered today at work that my blog is displaying incorrectly when using IE. I thought it might be the defaults on the text settings but that doesn’t work either. The odd part is that if I open the template and preview it, it shows fine. Yet when I reload the page it still shows a huge gap at the top of the page. Annoying to say the least.

Well, since I don’t use IE, I really don’t plan to spend a lot of effort trying to fix it. Apologies, to anyone in advance if it displays weird on your screens.

5 Yrs Ago This Would Not Have Happened

Growing up in Texas, I have a perspective on this story. The police, troopers, etc there have long had a history of animosity toward gays. I could tell you several stories about gay domestic violence gone horribly wrong after police stood by and did nothing. This story tickled my funny bone. If Texas can wake up and smell the coffee, there is hope for the rest of America.

A Texas State Trooper, California’s verion of CHP, decided to tell 2 gay guys kissing at the Capitol that what they were doing was illegal. The results were surprising but heartwarming.

Blade – Trinity

In all of my rants yesterday, I was so excited about the new look of my blog, I totally forgot to bring up the fact that I watched Blade: Trinity. I have mixed feelings on the 3rd installment. It is by the same director but, he changed the format up a bit. Completely different soundtrack. Some good, some bad I thought. There was more action in this one for sure. Lots of vampires bite the blade, so to speak. *G* Lots of fight scenes but, the thinner plot combined w/the new soundtrack just didn’t pack the same punch in my opinion.

I’m sure my blogger buddy Smitty, will be in heaven as Dominic Purcell turns out a pretty decent performance as the #1 bad guy of all time, Dracula. He is a hottie, that ain’t no lie. I much prefer Ryan Reynolds myself. OY! Ok, Ok, back to the topic. I got alot out of the first two. The plots were decent enough to make us forget reality for a minute mixed w/a kick ass soundtrack that kept you going thru out the flick. Don’t get me wrong, part 3 is worth the 8 or 9 bucks but, don’t expect to come away awed by it.

Whole New Look – 2nd Edition

I have been a busy boy today. First, I decided since I liked the new blog template so much why not apply it to my old home page. It was horribly out-of-date. I am happy to report that the old site has a brand new look as well. I haven’t finished it yet so there are still a few links to the blog archives etc. I’ve always wanted my home page and my blog to blend better and I got my wish, finally. There was so much in the old template I didn’t understand I was afraid to breath while editing it sometimes. This one looks fancier, only because of the shockwave file on top. The rest is pretty basic. I say “basic” in the loosest of terms. It took me a couple of hours to figure out some of the CSS code. And there is some I still haven’t figured out yet.

Second, I was able to snatch up the mobius.name domain today. I’ve been trying to get one of the higher TLD’s (top level domains, ie. .com, .net, .org, etc) for years now w/no luck. I was ecstatic that I actually got it! (again, see afore mentioned comments about karma) It has put me in the best of moods. I’m feeling right proud of myself. *big grin*

Whole New Look

Ok, I’ve been playing around a bit w/the blog. Feedback on the new look is appreciated. I saved the old code just in case. *G* Ya never know. Hope everyone likes.

Living “On the Grid”

This rant hit me after reading the tribulations of another blogger. Apparently, there has been a recent outbreak of yahoo accounts being hacked. This particular person ended up having some of his financial information compromised and had to make a mad dash to change all his pin numbers, etc.

So my question is…How on-the-grid do you live? Me? I’m plugged in to the hilt. Being a total techie, I’d say I spend a good 40% of my free time online. Blogging, chatting, reading news, info gathering, cruising, etc. However, being a previous victim of identity theft, I’m also pretty diligent about changing my passcodes often. I forget sometimes just how much of me is out there. To this day, I can still find listings of places I’ve lived as far back as 10 years ago, just by going online and doing a search. Kinda scary if ya think about it.

Now What?

The DSL tech just left and my service is back up and working. Apparently, a wire was missing on their equipment box. Exactly, how does that happen? Did a wire just suddenly combust or dissolve into dust? Anyway, he replaced it and wahooo! DSL!

Now that the DSL is up, I don’t have much to complain about. Everything is slowly getting back to normal. OMG! What if my life is completely drama free for a really long time and I can’t blog! How will I survive? How will my fellow blog buddies survive? *G* Fear not fellow bloggers, I have tons of rants so this is not the end of the Moby files! hehehe

Happy Holidays!