Author: Moby

Photo Blogging

Sitting her at work, bored out of my skull I started thinking. [1]always a dangerous combination, I know With all the issues coming up regarding my father, I’ve sorta realized I don’t have that many photos of my life. I’ve kept journals off/on since about 23 which is nice but I sorta miss having a photo record of my life. It’s more my fault than anyones as I just never remember to buy a camera or when I do buy it I always leave it behind. A have a scattering of pics from my 2nd relationship and a handful more from my last. In between, I have a smidgen or two thrown in but not that many when you sit down and add it all up. I’m sure that a good chunk of my early adult years spent trying to survive has a little to do with it. That said, I wished I’d been a little more diligent about that forgotten camera.

Maybe I’ll invest in a decent digital cam to start making up for lost time. Might be a good way to brighten up my blog a bit too. Then my bored readers can have that extra insight into my rants. *god, are we ready for that?*

References

References
↑1 always a dangerous combination, I know

Updates on the fly

So tying up some lose ends, I thought I’d update my 15 readers on my so called ‘life’. Lets see… *mumbling. . .’where to start, where to start?…*

Ok, well lets start w/the not so obvious. I blogged a while back about my social life taking a nose dive and putting in some overtime. If anything, just the opposite occurred. For a change, guys seems to be crawling out of the woodwork vying for my attentions. I’m flattered to no end but I’m not looking for anything serious right now. *course, it’s always that way. when you need’em can’t find a single one. You don’t need’em and your scrappin’em off w/a stick*

Anyway, I need to keep focus and take care of myself for awhile. And between volunteering my time for the BCCs website, making up w/an old friend, and meeting a few new ones, I just ain’t had any free time to work over. And with more than a little guilt, I’ve been neglecting the gym a bit too. I’m just now getting to a point where I’ve started putting in the OT. *including tonight* Just too many activities pulling me in odd directions. I guess I’ll use February for my OT month. The charity is going well. Thank GOD they are getting it for free because they’d already be broke if they were paying me.

I’m also making a conscious effort not to let my domestic chores pile up so much. I’m horrible at household chores and being a typical bachelor, I’ll go out and buy new undies rather than wash the old ones. Creates a vicious cycle! I’ve been really good at keeping up, I’m actually rather proud of myself.

Now on to the obvious. Work STILL sucks. We have the pettiest supervisors I’ve ever encountered. Its no wonder city agencies carry so much dead weight. Any sort of excellence or above par attitude is slowly drilled out of you over ever petty infraction they can imagine.

I’m still looking at starting school but probably not till the fall. Oddly enough, I seem to be keeping focus on long term goals. A very hard thing for me. Maybe this really is going to be my year. Hope springs eternal.

Baby’s Daddy – continued…

Well the trip to see my father is fast approaching and I’m still a bit mixed up about it. Of course, most people hearing of his pending death, immediately offer condolences and start to worry if “I’m doing ok”. Since I don’t ‘do’ funerals, this trip will be the last time I ever lay eyes on him. After the tragedy of my childhood my views on death have changed significantly. This ties into my spiritual beliefs as well. I don’t know exactly when it happened but one day I just stopped fearing death. Simply put, I come to view death as a crossing of sorts, not a dead end. If I had known this when I lost my first love it would have saved me so much unnecessary anguish. Crap! I’m getting off topic a bit. So anyway, I won’t be going to his funeral. What has got me a bit apprehensive is the coming showdown.

Knowing him and how he likes to procrastinate, he won’t say anything until I’m ready to leave, then he’ll bring it all up and try to foster his guilt off on me. His modus operandi has always been to apologize for his behavior and then immediately try to blame me for the whole thing. I think he would rather I had never told him and just lied about it. He is able to justify his actions that way. So with this in mind, I’m forced into a dilemma. Do I swallow my self-pride and dignity that took me years to find and just let him do it so he can pass on w/a clear conscience or do I stand by who/what I am till the very end? His end.

If you read my blog often, you can probably guess the answer already.

Rants & Pangs for Home

I’m trying to squeeze my babblings in before Stargate comes on. . . So I’m scrolling along thru my usual blogrolling, I stop by the Texan’s blog to get my weekly fix of his great Southern perspective. I love living here but I miss the ‘openness’ of people from the South. Reading the Texan’s blog always makes me a bit nostalgic. It’s mostly his writing style and approach to problems I think that clicks w/me the most. I’ve never met him but next time I get back to big D, I’m hoping we can have lunch or a beer together. Just as bloggers of course. (Tim, get your mind out of my gutter)

If you’re just dying to get yet another Southern boy’s perspective to life, stroll on over and check him out.

Hand Injury

I can’t remember if I mentioned it but I injured my hand a week or so ago. I went to the doc yesterday. I was a tad scared I had fractured it. As it turns out, I tore a tendon across my 3rd finger on my left hand. Nothing major apparently and the doc says while my hand may swell a bit from typing too much, its not serious enough to worry about any long term problems. Good news considering how typing I do w/my job. The fact that I have a mild case of carpel tunnel syndrome in that arm made it look worse than it was.

The odd part is it only seems to bother me while typing. I can work out and do most tasks w/o any discomfort. I wonder how many folks would kill for an injury like that! lol

Surreality

Ain’t made up words great? Sometimes the words that really exist just don’t sound as nice. So ‘surreality’ is my made up word for the day. Coming from white trash means, I’m allowed to do that.

So anyway, I was struck by such a sense of ‘surreality’ today while riding Muni. [1]Muni is our public transit subway. I’m riding Muni along looking at all the advertisements that had been defaced. Pretty much every ad from West Portal to Castro was marked up in one form or another. All except the gay one. I forget what the ad was for but it was the only one not marked up. The irony was so overwhelming I burst out laughing. I’m sure everyone thought I was nuts be thats another story. For all my previous whining about the breeder invasion, I forget sometimes what a surreal environment I live in.

SF has a huge gay/lesbian population packed into a very small area. On top of that, it is probably one of the most progressive and tolerant cities in the nation to live. From a personal perspective, I’d feel safe walking around in about 80% of the city. The other 20% I don’t think being gay would matter, I’d be in trouble either way. *g* I can’t think of any other US city I’d feel that safe in as a gay man. And lets not forget our straight mayor, whether you agree w/his tactics or not, who put a face on the struggle for equal rights. Equal rights not just for the thousands of gays/lesbians in California but for the millions of our brethern all across America.

So for all my whining about the Castro, there is still no other place I’d prefer to live.

References

References
↑1 Muni is our public transit subway.

To Blog or Not To Blog

Some days I only have one thing to blog about and others there are so many I have to write’em down and save’em as not to appear completely bipolar. Anyone else like that?

Breeder Invasion

Back to my own meanderings now that I’ve gotten that ugly monkey obesity off my back.

I know I probably shouldn’t be annoyed by this but I am. The Castro is being invaded by more and more “breeders” every freaking day. It has gotten to where you can’t walk down the street during the week w/o bumping into a whole gaggle of mommy/daddy combos w/kids in tow.

I know, I know, I should be glad the more and more straights feel comfortable being around so many gays. That I should be happy of the “barrier” breakdown between gay/straights. And I am. That said, I go to the Castro to get away from the straights. Sometimes, I just wanna be around gays. I wanna be able to walk down the street and see nothing but gay people.

I can hear it now, “Oh but thats just not fair Moby, now you are discriminating.” Well, yeah I am in a way. However, being straight has never been a minority. Straights have never been oppressed for being just straight. Gays have and still do. So that gives me the right to be just a little bit biased. And as long as being gay is considered unequal in this country, I will continue to want a place where I can go and just be around my own kind. I may not be the stereo-typical card toting fag but I am still gay.

Super Size Me Big Daddy

I’m a bit pissed. Mainly because this subject has always hit a nerve w/me. Straight from one of Dunner’s rants comes today’s madness. I had my own rant all ready to roll until I got distracted doing my usual blog rolling. And it’s not even the post that has me up in arms. It’s one of the comments to his post! The readers digest version, Dunner was ranting about a guy who was HUGELY obese and had an operation to shave off a huge chunk of himself. The guy, who is still overweight afterwards, was celebrating it. Not to mention, the government got stuck w/most of the bill. So basically, you and I got to pay for his new slimmer look. One person had the unmitigated gall to compare being obese w/being gay. I think someone needs an ole fashioned ass-whoopin.

Ok, ok, before WW (weight watchers) sends the death squad after me, let me clear up a few things. Yes, people who are overweight are often mistreated. I don’t condone that in any form. Making fun of someone who is overweight is not ok. On the same token, hiding behind a flimsy untrue excuse is just as “not ok”. Obesity is a huge problem (no pun intended) in the US and we need to start at the grade school level educating our children on how to eat better and healthier.

I spent most of my early adult life in Houston, TX. Which in case you missed it, is the #1 fattest city in the US. If you don’t believe me check out this month’s men’s fitness along w/consumer reports mag for the last 5 years. SF also has a large “bear” population which is just a fancy way of saying overweight gay guys.

Moving on. It is a documented fact that some people are born predisposed to being overweight. It doesn’t mean they are born fat or that they need to be fat. It just means genetically, their body LOVES food. Said people, can lead normal healthy LEAN lives w/just a bit of extra oversight. Now, for a reality check. Less than 1% of the population suffers from this sort of genetic booboo. What annoys me is more and more people try to absolve themselves of any sort of personal responsibility by blaming all their woes on someone or something else. Lets cover a few more facts.

1) The US is and has been the worlds fattest country for the last 10 years.
2) If you add the #2 & #3 runners up together, the US is STILL #1.
3) If it was just genetics,then you’d see a much more global dispersion of obesity.

It boils down to simple math folks. Genetic or not, if you take in more calories than your burn, you are gonna gain weight. I can’t explain it any simpler than that. However, there is no cure for being gay. I can’t diet or get a surgery to become “not gay”. Anyone comparing the two gets my full uncensored wrath. So for all you folks out there in “denial”, I’m here to give you a wake up call. Trying to pawn off your lazy behaviors on genetics ain’t holding water. Close your chops, get off your ass and do something about it! I’m happy to give you workout tips!