Well, w/o any sort of announcement the “Adventures of JK” blog has disappeared. Not that I think he had a responsibility to do so but a short notice might have been nice. I gave it at least a week to see if he was just switching formats but no luck.
Along w/that, The Disciplinarian got his blog all moved over to his domain and is using WordPress. Congrats for getting it all sorted.
Here is the newest pic of the hottie and I. I think this is the best one yet.
What say you?
I took this personality test from Republic of T’s blog. I’m completely the opposite of him it seems.
My results.
| ENFJ- The Teacher Your Type is 100% Extroverted, 12% Observant, 6% Logical and 50% Structured |
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Your type is known as the teacher, or the educating mentor. You also belong to the larger group, called idealists. You tend to bring out the best in other people. You lead without seeming to do so. People are naturally drawn to you. You expect the very best from people which takes the form of enthusiastic encouragement which is so charming that people try their best not to disappoint you. You share your personality type with 3% of the population. You need to feel a deep and meaningful connection to your romantic partners, and go to great lengths to understand and please your mate. Harmony is vitally important to you, and you often put others’ needs before your own. You have a pretty thin skin and are easily hurt. Although you strive for harmony, when your values or ethics are violated, you can be very emotional, confrontational, and even punishing. However, you are very insightful about the underlying cause of conflicts, and an excellent communicator, so you have the tools to bring about a quick and peaceful resolution as long as you can keep control of your facilities. You want to be appreciated for your thoughtfulness and compassion. You need your partner to make a real effort to get to know you. Above all, you need to be able to express your feelings and have them taken seriously. Your group summary: idealists (NF) Your type summary: ENFJ |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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| Link: The Quick and Dirty Personality Test written by unpretentious2 on Ok Cupid |
Check out his blog to see how he did. How did you score?
I somehow managed to misplace my scooter over the weekend. Don’t ask me why but for some odd reason I left it at work and didn’t remember it.
I’m headed downstairs to hop on it and I discover it is not there. I originally thought I might have left in the Castro. TH called right when I was scrambling to find it. He happened to be in the Castro and did a quick scan to see if I had left it here. Nope. So, I called work thinking it might have been towed. Nope. Now, I’m starting to think it was stolen.
Who would want to steal this?
Thinking I met have left it AT work I walked over and sure enough there it was. I’m insured so I wasn’t overly worried. TH and I got a tickle out of maybe my scooter was w/his lost camera and they’d turn up together.
Yesterdays rant was a bit draining on me but I’m glad I posted it. It was the last tragedy of my childhood and it gives you a great insight into why I am the way I am now.
I enjoyed this past weekend! I spent a huge chunk of it doing the thing I love most…relaxing and hanging out w/friends. TH and I spent the day Saturday over at San Benita’s Light House on the mainland. The day was sunny and windy and as it turns out the wind got to high and we couldn’t actually cross the small bridge over to the lighthouse. However, we did take some good pics and enjoyed the scenic views. We spent the later part of the afternoon down on black sands beach having a light lunch and good conversation. I so wish we hadn’t lost the great pics we’d taken. Oh well, we’ll just have to get together again and take more.
TH and I had a talk about our budding relationship and where we both stood. Not surprisingly, we were both in agreement that we liked spending time w/each other but, anything serious wouldn’t be wise at this point. It only served to make the day better. Spending time w/TH has made me feel things I wasn’t sure I could feel again. For that I am sincerely grateful to him.
The bad news is we were so wrapped up in good conversation, we somehow managed to lose TH’s new camera. I had forgotten to bring mine as usual. So all the good pics we took were lost along w/his very nice camera. I felt horrible about that and proceeded to do my very best to keep him “preoccupied”. I think I did a pretty good job. *g*
Skipping around a bit, I ran into Tim this past Friday on the subway. He is always whining that I don’t pay him enough attention here so I snapped off a shot of him for all of you. Here he is in all his glory fresh off the subway.
Tim is from big ole Kentucky and we met “per chance” at the gym when I was still at Gold’s. Being from the South, he is a total character just like me. He is currently going to school to be an attorney. (I know, but we won’t hold that against him)
Sunday, I spent most of the day lounging about. (Thats code for being lazy) Sunday, evening I had dinner w/a couple of guys from work. Rich & Dave. Both are cops and have been together for I believe 12 years now.
They make for really good friends and I am lucky to have them in my life. They got to meet TH and thought very highly of him. I haven’t seen them as of late w/my schedule being so wack. It was good to catch up.
All in all, it was a good weekend. The weather was nice up until last night and the company was even better. Now, if I can just survive another week at work.
This is a heavy rant today in that I’m digging into painful memories that have been buried for some time. It is a bit long and if you are hoping for something funny, you might skip me today.
The blogosphere is just abuzz w/the news over the death of Pope John Paul (whatever # he is). For clarity, I am NOT a practicing “christian”. I’m sure that wasn’t hard to figure out if you are regular reader. Because of so many extreme radicals under the umbrella that is christianity, I’ve come to detest the very term itself. From my perspective, its become a term of oppression and hate used to control the masses using ignorance and fear.
I had an interesting conversation w/TH as he is bit more religious than I. And when I use the term religious I mean he seems to be educated about religion and follows the tenets of the faith vs a fundamental approach. He has my utmost respect for being able to see past the nonsense. Anyway, we had a conversation about the death of the pope. He made a compelling case for the pope however, I still think he was an evil man. Out of fairness, I never once heard the pope condone violence against anyone. However, being as educated about religion as he claims to have been, he had to know a lot of the so called ‘faith’ he taught was based on fallacy and misinterpretation. This is why I think he is was evil. Again for perspective, I see evil not as demonic but as doing great harm.
If someone as lowly and simple as myself can discover fundamental differences in interpretation due to translation errors (whether by purpose or simple mistake), someone as educated as the pope must know that large parts of his ‘teachings’ are false. As hard as I try, I can’t shake that belief.
This brings up memories of my past. I believe I’ve touched god twice in my life. I say god because it was the most powerful feeling I ever felt and the joy I got from that moment is still w/me even today. I’m getting ahead of myself though. Lets back up a bit.
I spent a good chunk of my adolescent life trying to discover god. I went to every church around in an attempt to find god. I ran the gambit from the very charismatic to the mundane and ritualized. I never once found god in any church. I did find a lot of hypocrisy and procrastination. I did eventually find what I believe to be god but it was never in a church or prayer. I found god in my darkest hour on this Earth.
Even to this day the power of it still brings me to tears. To understand the pain I was in you should probably read the history one and two if you haven’t so far. (links are in the old blog as it didn’t transfer over so well when I switched to WordPress)
*I copied this from an old written journal and edited it for brevity. The original post was 9 pages long.*
A few weeks before my high school graduation at 9:30pm central time, M and I were riding home from the store and we were hit head on by a drunk driver. The car (a T-bird trans-am) went off the road and rolled I don’t know how many times down a hill. M was thrown from the car and it rolled over him. I, on the otherhand, was wearing my seat belt and it was probably the only thing that saved my life. The bad side was the car landed upside down and I was trapped. The heat from the exhaust started a grass fire which quickly spread all the way around the car. In hindsight, the fire probably saved my life as it was a back road, dark, and the driver of the other didn’t stop. The fire began to spread around the car and soon it was apparent I was going to die if something didn’t happen. As fate would have it, someone did see the fire and came to investigate. Two burly truckers helped to pull me from the car and to safety. It was at this point I remembered M had been thrown and began to search for him. He was lying not 50 feet from me. I am not ashamed to admit I crawled every inch of the way on my hands and knees to get to him. The truckers barely took notice as they had no idea anyone else was involved and were completely distracted trying to put out the fire. M was barely alive as the car had crushed most of his internal organs. I managed to pull him into my arms and the last thing he said to me was “I love you”. He died after that.
Most would assume that this would be heartbreaking but I felt nothing but love at the time. After being abandoned by everyone who ever should have loved me, here was one soul who used his last breath to tell me he loved me. How could I not feel unconditional unceremonious love? That moment is burned into my mind as if it were a brand. To this day, I can still smell the fire and smoke thinking about it.
It wasn’t until later that the pain hit. Physically, I came thru the ordeal w/just minor scratches and bruises. Having nowhere to send me, the hospital kept me overnight. I had to be sedated due to waking up in uncontrollable screams from nightmares. I kept reliving the moment over and over in my dreams. That sedation turned into a 6 month ordeal. I lost my will to live and refused to eat, speak, or even get out of bed.
*skipping a huge chunk here*
After another 6 months of learning how to speak and walk again, a friend offered me a place to live in a seaport town away from home and all the painful memories. I jumped at the chance. I showed up on the beach at 3:30am almost a year to the date that M died. I was so overcome w/grief I didn’t know what to do. I contemplated suicide at that moment. I walked out onto the beach and began to wonder what would happen if I just kept walking? Who would miss me? Would anyone even care? The water so blue and warm looked so inviting. As if it could wrap me in it’s warm embrace and slowly take away all my pain. By this point, I was crying so uncontrollably I couldn’t even stand up. I fell back on the beach just bawling w/such raw uncensored emotion. Pain, anguish, fear, worthlessness all washed over me in waves so hard I began to vomit. Finally, at one point I just lay back exhausted. It was at this dark moment I found god. Not by looking above or reaching out for him but by looking into myself. There it was all this time just waiting for me to reach for it. A part of my soul I didn’t consciously know even existed. Words cannot even come close to explaining the moment. It was as if someone had taken the very fount of Joy itself and ripped it open in my heart. That is the only way I can describe it and make sense. Once again I found my body gripped in the vice of powerful emotion. But this time instead of being pain it was pure joy. I found myself looking up into the sky w/the coming of morning laughing uncontrollably. I’m sure if anyone had been watching they would have though I was a person possessed. I don’t know how long I lay there just basking in the glow that suffused (spelling?) me. But I did finally get up! I got up and I moved on w/my life. All this while, that joy stayed w/me and is still w/me today. Sometimes not so obvious but when I need it most, I find it again.
That my friends is my god.
I guess I’m on a bitch fest this week.
Something I’ve noticed while living here. It is one of the few things that annoys me about SF. There is this trend it seems of guys being into ‘pits, man smells, etc.’ While I love a a fresh pit, I’ve discovered most of these folks are referring to not bathing. I’m not a big cologne person. It is just not conducive to the climate here to wear lots of cologne. That said, I bath often, use a low smell deodorant, and the rest is el natural. I’ll be the first to admit I love the smell of a guy after a fresh workout and he is all sweaty. I think many (I’m guessing) will agree it is a turnon. However, that same smell tainted by bacteria and stale sweat four days later is NOT.
I bring it up because I’m standing in Daddybucks yesterday waiting my turn for the restroom. This tiny old leathery wrinkled looking thing comes saddling up next to me in line. Forgetting for a moment, he is eyeing me up/down as if I’m to be his next meal, I’m all for niceties. We exchanged “hello, great day out, blah blah blah” and then the stench of him hit me. OMG! I literally thought I was gonna puke. This guy was as ripe as they come. I scooted away to get myself out of his range. Needless to say it didn’t work. Thank the fates I was next in line and quickly escaped.
Yesterday wasn’t my first encounter w/said phenomena however, it got me to wondering how the hell do people get stuck on quirks like this?
Falwell’s health declining…pity.
I forgot I left my heart on my sleeve and I inadvertently washed it. Just kidding of course. I only say this as I had an interesting conversation w/B from the gym over lunch. We were talking about ex’es but quickly moved on to issues relating to the way gay men interact w/each other. I shared with my philosophy about my own feelings and how I present myself to the world. Mind you, the whole time we are having this conversation thoughts from the little head kept interrupting thoughts from the big head. Of course, the issue of double dating is moot as I discovered B is going on sabbatical for 4 months. Of which, he plans to spend a good chunk cycling across Tuscany. Fucker! I’m so jealous. lolol
Anyway, back on topic. *focus…focus* I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. I used to do it w/o knowing better and now I do it on purpose. Simply put, I do it to avoid confusion later. I’d rather you know exactly where you stand w/me at any given moment. I don’t hide my thoughts or ideas out of fear of rejection. If you reject me, I move on. It’s that simple. I also tend to be very trusting until given a reason not to be. So from my perspective, wearing my heart on my sleeve, so to speak, serves to protect me. B pointed out something I’d never really thought of before. That I probably intimidate some people by being so completely open. I find that thought a bit fascinating. Not because I’d want to be intimidating but that I actually could. Lunch w/B has been the one bright spot in my day.
I’m in a horrible mood. Mostly because of work. I’m just frustrated as hell because I know that I am justified in my anger but powerless to fix the overall problem. Being an Aquarian, I tend to want to fix things, especially when it affects me directly. I really enjoy my job but the pettiness has taken it’s toll on me. So today I’m trying to consider all my options and come to an arrangement w/myself.
I ran into Tim on the subway and he pointed out something I tend to do here on my blog. I have a habit of downplaying my intelligence. Not being able to stand people who are conceited or arrogant, I tend to over compensate in relation to myself. This should clarify some of the comments above too. So for the record, ‘I be done got smarts’. I have a 128 IQ which I’m told is above average. Not that I care. I am just happy that I always seem to be a quick study w/anything I take an interest too. (Happy now Tim? *g*) Moving on.
Not much else to say at the moment. I haven’t done my blogrolling yet today so I may have some new rant in a bit…
I have a lunch date w/the guy I met at the gym a while back. He seems nice and has been understanding about the whole dating thing. I just tried to be brutally honest and it seems to be paying off. Besides, even if we don’t click, I am of the firm belief no one can have too many friends.
Wish me luck!
