Author: Moby

*Sigh*

As expected, work is a mess today. Everyone is still very upset about the loss. We are doing our best to pick up the pieces and move on.

A HUGE thank you to everyone for the kind comments and emails. I appreciate your kindness and good thoughts. It is times like this that I am reminded of just how very stressful this job can be. I’ve always been lucky in that I don’t stress much. However, there are times when it even gets to me.

Tomorrow, my group is getting to have a Memorial for F. We are inviting everyone from work but it will mainly just be the core group of classmates.

Death

Boy the shit is really rolling this week. I just discovered roblog‘s ex passed away this week as well. If you don’t read roblog, his ex has been battling advanced HIV infections for some time now. It looked like he was on the mend as of late. I guess things must have taken a turn for the worse. If you can, take a moment to pass on good thoughts to rob. Nothing can take away the anguish but I believe love and the human spirit can endure the pain of death.

Death, itself, has been everpresent in my own life. I lost my mother at 7, my first love at 18, my grandmother at 26, a dear friend at 30, and most recently my father at 34. These are by no means the only losses in my life but the most significant. Even as a kid I saw death differently. I wondered why people were so sad if they really believed the dead were in a better place. When my mom died, I kept asking everyone when we could go visit her. Oh don’t get me wrong, I know if I lost Bobby or Trevan I’d be a mess. I’d bawl like a baby for awhile, you betcha. But afterwoods, I’d know they were still out there. I wouldn’t see them anymore but I’d carry the knowledge of their continued existence w/me thru my own life along w/my memories of them.

And as cheesy as it sounds, this song by Celine Dion always seems to cheer me up. So, listen if you want and take a moment to reflect on all the people you’ve lost in your life. Be thankful for what they brought you in this life and that you are blessed enough to still be here.

Unbelievable

I write this today w/a great sadness in my heart.

I just found out one of my classmates from work committed suicide earlier this month. She recently moved away, to Texas of all places. Beyond being a classmate, she was my friend and a sister in arms (meaning she was a lesbian). kristaki (another classmate) called me to give me the sad news. I am so shocked I just can’t put it into words. This comes as a complete surprise to everyone. Life seemed to be really going her way as of late.

I guess I should try to put things in perspective here. I’ve been at my current job w/emergency communications for almost 5 years now. My class carries some distinction in that not only do we have the highest retention rate in the last 10 years, we were and still are very close as a group. We spent a lot of time supporting each other and working together to get thru the training program. We became incredibly close. We got to know a lot about each other and felt stronger for it. And we were as diverse a class as they come. Old, young, men, women, gay, straight, black, white, asian, latin, you name it we had it. Out of 18, 11 of us made it thru and 9 of us were still together up until very recently. We often brag about how good we were to all the newer classes. It has sort of been a badge of honor I guess.

How would I describe F? She was what you would call a strong-willed lesbian. Very opinionated and vocal (how could I not love her!). She liked to put on this butch bad lesbian appearance but underneath the thick skin, she was a kind considerate woman just trying to make her way in the world. She’d give you the shirt off her back if you really needed it. She often championed the underdogs of society and pleaded their case w/a fierce single-mindedness that would not be ignored. We sometimes butted heads as strong wills tend to do but we were always friends beyond it.

F recently bought a new house in Texas and up and moved w/her girlfriend. We were all sorry to see her go but she seemed happy and life was looking up. Obviously, there was some trouble in her life that none of us knew about. A trouble so deep that even her closest friends didn’t know it. I can’t even guess what it could have been. All I know is the shining light that was my friend F is no more.

F, wherever you are, your friends miss and love you still. Whatever tragedy befell you in this life we hope you’ve escaped in the next. You may be gone but you are not forgotten.

School House Rock II

So my classes are moving at an incredible speed. I’m learning stuff so quickly it’s hard to assimilate it all at times. Last week we started covering the human body and this week we covered “patient assessment”. I’m amazed how quickly you can assess someone’s entire state fo well being w/just a few quick checks. To say I’m enjoying my classes would be putting it mildy.

We lost a few more bodies again this week. I think we are almost down to a core group that is gonna stick it out. I don’t think some folks really understood how fast paced the class moves. I do have a bit of an edge as I work in the biz and have some familiarity w/the emergencies. Of course, talking to someone on the phone and seeing them in person are two different things. A lot of my classmates are more interested in being firefighters than medics but I’m going the medic route for sure.

How would you feel showing up at your door? “Hi my name is Moby, I’m here to help, what seems to be the problem?”…I like the sound of it already! lolol

Bored

At work on OT and bored out of my skull. I know I’m not supposed to blog w/o something to say but I can’t help it!

So instead of blathering on and on, I thought I’d post a gratuitous bod shot for the masses.

Baggy Boxers!

Yeah, I know I need to go to the gym. I made it in today and had a nice chest workout.

Photoshop Bliss

I’m up late so I thought I’d rant. I had an ‘occurance’ today and figured I would share it. I’m on a break from work and I run over to Taco Bell for some food. (That nutrious and healthy place that it is.) This guy stops me and says hello like he knows me. Sorta breaks into conversation. I assume he knows me thru the blog and wants to introduce himself. I could tell after I started talking we weren’t on the same page so I finally just asked him how he knew me? It took me a moment to realize who he was. When it hit me, I was secretly shocked. This guy looked nothing like his pics and I do mean nothing! Ok, I know I’m sounding crazy, let me explain. He has a profile online and has chatted me up before. We’ve exchanged pleasantries, blah blah blah. What I didn’t know until today, his pics are so photoshopped I would never have recognized him. Never! I finally told him too. I said, “you know, I should tell you I think you need new pics as I would never have recognized you.” He was like, “Really? you think they are that far off?” Without really thinking what I was saying, I then proceeded to blurt out, “yes cause the ones you have are so photoshopped, I don’t think anyone would recognize you.” I didn’t really mean it to be rude but I think he took it that way. He got real un-friendly and didn’t offer much conversation after that.

So basically, he lied about who he is and then got “huffed” when someone called him on it. I guess I ruined his ego for the day. I’m such a bastard sometimes w/o even knowing it I guess. Sorry.

**Note, I looked for his profile when I got home and it is “no longer available”. Maybe he took the hint. Ya think?

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star…

On a happier note, I got my TB (Tuberculosis) test this week. I had to get it done for my certification. Here is my pretty star I got. lol

Pretty!

My doc is gay and his assistant is this incredibly charming and funny English PA. I haven’t been in to see them in about 6 months so it was giggles all around. Not to mention, he hired a very handsome new front desk clerk. Woofie.

Afterwards, I ended up bouncing around downtown looking for sales on clothing. I’m still trying to replace the ruined clothes. I managed to replace a fair share of the stuff that got pinkified (yeah I know it’s not a word). Speaking of laundry, I had to break down and do the deed again. I was so low I was wearing club wear to work. No ruined batches this time thankfully.

Oh, I almost forgot! I have a date. And he’s a blogger! I’ll be stingy and hold onto the details for now. More later, wish me luck?! And… I may have found a roommate. I’ve sorta been hoping to find a roomie come November (my lease is up) to cut back on expenses. So a buddy here may buy a condo soon and he was very excited about the idea of having a roomie. So cross both fingers that it goes better than the last fiasco!

I have more “stuff” to talk about but it’s late and the sleep monster is attacking. Ni’night.

Tagged: Again!

Ok, so you knew it was coming. I got tagged again. This time by Let Me Talk To You About It, Sweetie.

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Buy my own home
2. Sleep w/pornstar Mike Branson
3. Visit Italy or the Caribbean
4. Find someone who can put up w/me and I him
5. Undo all the damage my parents did to me.
6. Win a walk-on spot on a scifi flick
7. Win the lotto (yeah right!)

7 things I can do:
1. Suck start a Harley (what?, you want me to be honest right?)
2. Support myself
3. Share my inner joy w/others (corny but true)
4. Cook (potential ex-husbands take notice)
5. Dance
6. Drive a forklift
7. Forgive

7 things I cannot do:
1. Understand hate
2. Sit thru an opera
3. Illegal drugs
4. Fly a plane
5. Sew/Knit
6. Eat only one reece’s peanut butter cup
7. Put up w/”ignunce”

7 things that attract me to the [opposite of my] opposite sex:
1. Deep soulful eyes/big smile
2. Honesty
3. A big wand
4. Wit
5. Compassion
6. Masculinity
7. Chest

7 things I say most often:
1. You are so working my last nerve right now.
2. You are so fired!
3. Wei?
4. What fresh hell?
5. Thank you
6. Perhaps you didn’t hear me…
7. 911, What is the nature of your emergency?

7 celebrity crushes:
1. Jason Statham
2. Sean William Scott
3. Steve Austin (wrestler)
4. Matthew McConauhey
5. Steve Zaun
6. Ryan Reynolds
7. Ben Browder

7 people I’d like to do this Meme:
1. Anyone
2. else
3. who
4. hasn’t
5. already
6. been
7. tagged