Author: Moby

Big Mouth

I was a bit irritable during class last week. (Had a light case of pharyngitis it seems) I actually let my temper get the best of me regarding a classmate. I normally ignore it as I like to focus on my education vs the shortcomings seen in others. I think part of the problem is I’m sorta disappointed w/my class as a whole. I’ve invested alot of myself into my training. For me, its not just some class I’m taking. I’m working towards a goal to better myself. It has sorta been a shock that not everyone else sees it that way. Our class dwindled over the past few months. Even a few people I thought were in it for the long haul are gone. If nothing else, I paid good money for this class. The least I can do is make an effort to pass.

So back to the story. This particular guy is nice enough. He just has a habit of trying to know the right answer w/o really knowing it. Now don’t get me wrong, I can be a know-it-all at times (shut up Bobby!). I tend to be very confident and act as such until proven otherwise. This character on the otherhand just sorta makes it up. He criticizes everyone else yet, he rarely participates in practicals. He lurks in the background letting everyone else do the work. This past week, as usual, he didn’t really participate but offers up his heart felt opinion on the errors of my skill set. I leaned over to the instructor (who I also work with) and said “isn’t it nice to have two instructors in the class? Too bad the second one is usually wrong.” I also made some offhand comments to several of my classmates. (They were in agreement but that’s besides the point.)

I emailed the instructor and apologized. He said he didn’t really think I was out-of-line and that my comments were justified. He actually had a conversation after class w/said person. I really respect my instructor so I’m glad to hear he doesn’t think I’m a total ass.

Whew! It’s Hot In Here

Oh I almost forgot! I’m getting a giggle out of the latest scandal floating thru the local fag rags. The city is just a buzz over it! Apparently, the Gold’s gym on Market St. decided to close their steam room permanently for “inappropriate behavior”. How is that for comedy? A steam room in a gay gym in the heart of the Castro w/”inappropriate behavior”! Who’d a thunk it? The BAR even did a story on it. I mention it only because I happened to be one of the unlucky few walking by while they were conducting the survey. (They practically pounced on me.)

Now having worked out at Gold’s for several years before making the switch to Crunch, I’m well aware of the “goings-on” in the steam room. Frankly, you didn’t go in there unless you were looking for something. Every person who said different was eventually caught in that lie. And I ain’t buying the excuse, “oh I just like to go in for the steam”. Yeah, right. Just because you weren’t doing the blowing doesn’t mean you can absolve yourself of any shinanigans. I’m also aware of several employees indulging in said activities. Add to that, to get caught you had to be so blatantly open and over the top that they HAD to say something.

I am annoyed, however, over everyone jumping on the holier-than-thou bandwagon now. Mind you these are the very same queens usually parked in there for hours at a time looking for trade. Two guys interviewed right after me were just going on and on about how bad it was. And they were some of the worse offenders! Spare me your indignation gurls, I know better. I’m not saying it is ok for such behavior to go on unchecked. But to ignore the behavior for god knows how many years and then suddenly cry foul is pathetic. And don’t even get me started on that two faced queen that manages the place. I’m digressing again….What bothers me is how often this same story plays itself out. One of our dirty little secrets gets out in the open and we all feign indignation over it. No thank you, I’m all stocked up on bullshit here.

The reality is the management overreacted to a threat someone made to notify the Health Dept. For years, they’ve turned a blind eye and now they are shitting bricks that it may bite them in the ass.

Just thought you’d like to know…

Just Where Have You Been Mister!?

Busy Busy Week! Things are finally slowing down. (That and I’ve already beaten the new Ratchet & Clank game once) I had my ride along this past Monday and it was great! An incredible learning experience. I am so hooked! The only downer, we had a paramedic intern as well so I didn’t get to do as much hands-on as I had hoped. Even still, it was great. The medic and EMT I rode with were both really cool and made sure I understood everything. I can’t give specifics obviously but, we had two cardiac patients, two falls, a couple of “man down” calls (usually homeless people sleeping on the street), and a MVA (motor vehicle accident). Sadly, nothing serious. No blood and guts the whole day. It did wear on me though. Twelve hours in the back of the ambulance took its toll. I was pooped by the end of the watch.

Speaking of medics, I’m sitting at the Cove in the Castro and an engine and medic just drove up for a “man down” call. Two of the guys I know. Of which, one is very attractive but very straight. I’m digressing…Having a large homeless population we get lots of calls of this type. Usually no merit due to guys sleeping or drunks wanting a ride to the hospital. Today turned out to be the latter.

Tuesday was class, lecture and practicals as usual. Finals are fast approaching. I’m so excited I can’t wait. I just hope I can find a part time gig as a EMT. (I can’t live on what an EMT makes so has to be part time while I continue to my regular job.) I’ll be super busy but that’s ok because I’ll use it as an excuse to pay off a chunk of my remaining debt. I might be able to flex my schedule at work too. I haven’t asked yet.

Monday, the day of my ride-along, was also Bobbeisha’s birf day. I decided to take him out for some belated shopping and a nice b’day dinner at 2223 Market. I had planned to take pics but I forgot the camera.

Busy Bee

Not much time to post lately. Very busy week. Well that, and I got the new Ratchet & Clank game. hehehe

Had my ride-along on the ambulance yesterday. 8 to 8pm. Had a blast. I can’t wait to get my certification. Off to class today.

Trip: Pics

Ok so finally got the pics all edited. Some are pre-trip. And w/o further ado…..

Bobbiesha (aka Bobby) and I, prior to heading out to see “The Thing” on the big screen in the Castro. Yeah, I told you he was a scifi geek. More than me even!
Possessed!

Here we are scared shitless in the theatre just before the movie.
Scared - NOT

So while waiting to board at the airport, I was a little disturbed by this picture. Exactly WHAT did he hit that put the big dents on the top of the windshield? And was this midflight or during landing? *g*
What I hit?

I hate to say most of Texas is poor but when stores advertise they accept WIC on their street signs you kinda get an impression of their customer base.
I'd like my cheese please.

Here is moi getting ready for the Halloween. It’s a cheesy costume but it was put together in less than 20 minutes cut me some slack. I was supposed to be Zorro but I saw several better Zorro outfits so I reduced it to The Gay Blade.
The Gay Blade

The full costume.

Baby On Board

On my flight down to Houston, I sat next to a mom and her two year old son. I wasn’t overly pleased at first but it was the only aisle seat left. It turned out the little rat was very well behaved and we had a great time. Apparently, mom flies a lot and she brings him along.

God, was he just adorable. He was watching The Wiggles on his portable DVD player when suddenly it went dead. Mom explained to him what happened and you could tell he was disappointed but not once did he break into a fit. He was a real trooper about it too. Not being able to withstand his pouting face, I offered to let him watch it on my laptop. Boy did his eyes light up when he saw it pop up on the big screen of my laptop! The irony is I’d brought along Ferngully on DVD w/me to watch. (Ferngully is an animated Disney flick I happen to really like) So between the Wiggles and Ferngully both he and I had a great time. Mom was pretty grateful too.

Towards the end of the flight, his mom and I got to talking about kids in general. She wants another one but she and her husband are so busy it would be a burden. I mentioned I hoped to adopt kids one day myself. She said she thought I’d make a great father and said I had a knack for dealing w/kids. I thought to myself…I ought to! I practically raised my younger brother.

I know your saying, “What’s the point Moby?” Well, I’m getting to it, hold your horses….
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about having a kid. Not as in “righ now” but soon. I’ve always wanted kids and I’m finally at a point in my life where it’s financially possible. He won’t grow up rich but I didn’t and look how well I turned out. (hehehe) Lately, a lot of little things have been popping up to remind me of what I’m missing. I’ve also really enjoyed reading v-hold‘s blog on the process he is going thru to adopt a child.

It would be nice if I had a partner to help me but that is not a certainty in life so waiting around for it to happen is stupid, in my opinion. I have a lot to offer a kid. Gay or straight, I could give him a good home. I guess I’m just growing up. In years past, I wasn’t ready to have a kid as I wasn’t willing to give up the free time in my life. I think I’ve grown past that now.

Gay & Not So Gay

In the spirit of Halloween and costumes, I ask you….how do you describe your gayness? Is it just about the fact that you like to suck cock or is it more? Do you define gayness by the clothes you wear, the places you go, the people you know, and/or how butch you act (or don’t)? Better yet, how do you define masculinity? Do you use any of the previous mentioned criteria?

I just don’t understand sometimes how we can be so blind to our shortcomings when they are so obvious. The attitude I see most often is the clothing makes the man. Doesn’t matter how fem or masculine you are as long as you dress butch it’s ok…your butch.

Here’s a clue!

I don’t care how butch you dress, if you open your mouth and Barbie rolls out spouting her newest shoe purchase you ain’t butch. And while I’m answering the clue hotline here’s another tip. Its ok! Be yourself. It doesn’t matter if you dress in a dress or leather, it’s all drag if it’s not you.

Then there’s the straight-acting group. You can suck cock at Blowbuddy’s but you can’t get your nails done in the Castro. Oh no, that would be just appear to be too gay! Whatever. Again, get over it!

A simple observation is you can enhance or create an appearance either direction. But at the end of the day, is this who you really are?

I often refer to myself as “post gay”. I forget who coined the term but I took to it immediately. Such a simple word combination sums up so much. A sort of “been there, did that” type of thing. I’m probably not explaining it well. I’m just annoyed w/current gays. Our culture seems obsessed w/”gayness” and almost always masculinity is tied into it, directly or indirectly. We internalize our homophobia and dish each other creating even more separation.

I wonder when will it end. Will we continue down the current path where androgyny is the new butch or will we just grow up a bit and be more accepting? (The latter option is looking pretty grim I’m afraid.)