Say “Cheese”

I often repeat myself so if this is such a case, my apologies in advance. My rant today is in reference to a message I got from an anonymous person on gaydar.co.uk. I say anonymous because his profile was devoid of pictures and had the barest of details filled out. Forgetting for a moment my profile states if you contact me, please have pics of yourself or don’t expect a response.

Said person, sends me a message. “Hey, you’re Hot” or something to that affect. Being overly tired of people not actually reading the profile before responding, I hit the generic “no thanks” button. His reply, “Go fuck yourself you stupid rude cunt.“. Hmmmm . . . I’m rude? I think someone is suffering from a delusion I give a shit. I kindly hit the block button and that was the end of that.

I bring it up because, in the age of the internet, people have the illusion that 1) you can log on and remain completely anonymous and 2) by being anonymous, absolve yourself of any responsibility for your behavior. Frankly, I do not concur.

Sites like gaydar.co.uk, manhunt, tribe, myspace, etc serve a purpose. Whether sexual or not, they exist to promote human interaction. It kind of defeats that purpose when you are acting John Doe. And no, it does not make you more alluring. If anything, it has just the opposite affect unless you are desperate. In an age of technology, one is left to ponder why (oh why) does some one need to be so invisible? In the gay world, it usually stems from one (or more) sources.

1) You are a narcissist but afraid to admit it.
2) You are too lazy to get off your ass and make an effort. Whether it be thru a filled out profile or having pictures of yourself.
3) You are ashamed of yourself be it behavior or appearance.
4) You are being deceitful w/someone else (Usually a lover or partner)

Regardless of the reason, I could care less. I have no time for such dramatics. Being from the South and an Aquarian, I am an incredibly social person. That said, I do not care for faceless interaction. Take my blog for example. Every person on my favorites list, I’ve either met in person or had enough interaction with to feel a connection to, be it bouncing between blogs, emails, chats, gaming, phone calls, etc. I also have a rather clear idea what they look like. I could see them on the street and recognize them.

The other part of my little tirade today is this. If you log onto a sex site looking for nookie and someone ignores you, don’t freak out. You shouldn’t be gleaning your self-respect from your sexual conquests first of all (so been there done that, still have the tshirt). All it means, is said person does not wish to have sex w/you. There is nothing that says they have too. And if you id is that fragile, you shouldn’t be online in the first place. If you take the time to send me a message beyond “sup” or “what are you into?“, I usually take the time to reply back. However, if I’m busy, distracted, or annoyed, I may just hit the delete button. It doesn’t mean I hate you, I’m just not interested in swapping bodily fluids with you. Rejection is part of life. You will never be everything to everyone. And expecting to is a recipe for misery.

So to recap my little BF today. If you choose to be “discreet” or “anonymous” on the net that is certainly your choice. It is my choice not to interact w/you. If you refuse to relent then don’t be bitter at others who also refuse to relent. And if you are bitter and lash out it only makes you look a) desperate or b) like an ass.