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Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes. The birthday went off pretty well. I got to see some friends in town from back home, which was very nice. (Now, if they’d only leave, I’m worn out.) I also got to be naughty. So all and all, it was good.

So today’s rant involves online profiles. It’s amazing what you can interpret about a person not from what they say but how they say it. Having been online for years and years, I’ve gleaned some knowledge that might be helpful. Look at it as a way to invite less drama into your life.

Here goes. . . my top 10 do’s and don’ts of having a succesful profile. (Whether it be for sex or just dating) Take it as you will . . .

1) Handle rejection. First off and most important, if you can’t handle rejection you probably shouldn’t be online. Unless you are desperate for just anyone, it is unrealistic to expect every person will be your match or that you are match for everyone. Attraction has to be a two way street for it to work.

2) Be specific. If you are looking for something, say as much. If you have a characteristic or fetish you’re into then make sure it’s included. Don’t use subjective terms. I often see terms like “looking for real men”. That could mean anything to any number of men. Duh! Also skip terms like “vgl or “hot”. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While you may consider yourself “vgl”, others may not. Let your pictures speak for your looks.

3) Be honest and don’t “emphasize”. It’s still lying if it’s not true. Your responses (or hookups for that matter) might be fewer but the ones you do get will be into you for you. AO-hell is rife w/this sort of bullshit. When I read a guy’s stats, I often take 2 inches off the cock and add it to the waist. About 70% of the time, I’m right. How is that for sad?

4) Be polite and thoughtful. If you want people to like you, then put your best face forward. Focus on the things you are into. That means leaving out negative or judgemental comments. You are entitled to your opinion but putting comments like “not into fat or fems” is incredibly insensitive and rude. The same can be said for “into whites only” or “not into blacks or asians”. Even in the politest speech, it comes off as insulting. Another one, and the most annoying to me, is UB2’s (you be too). That one comment alone normally gets you on my blocked list. The same can be said of your HIV status. If you are negative, you should be having safe sex all the time if you wish to stay that way. If you have half a head about you, you also know people lie! There is nothing wrong w/saying your negative however, comments about the last time you were tested are redundant and insensitive. And if you think about it, it implys that you’ve done something that might have jeopordized your status.

5)Be realistic. If you have a profile on a sex site looking for a boyfriend, don’t be annoyed when people send you messages for sex. Duh! It’s a sex site. It also tends to lend the opinion that you are desperate.

6) Be sensible. Don’t demand something from others you can’t offer in return. If you are into muscles, that’s great. However, if you are not very muscled, don’t be shocked or nasty when someone muscled isn’t into you.

7) Be current. Keep your profile up-to-date. In an age, where technology is all around us, there is no excuse not to have current pics of yourself. Humans are visual creatures. And if your life is so private that you can’t post pics of yourself, then why are you online?

8) Skip the lingo. There is a virtual alphabet of acronyms out there. Some are so common they are understood by most. However, many are confusing and don’t make sense w/o some sort of clarification.

9) Be respectful. It is not always easy to respond to every person who shows interest. However, if someone goes out of there way to make contact w/you, a simple “no thank” you is sufficient. It also tells them for sure you aren’t interested vs just not being available.

10) Take a hint. If you message someone 4/5 times and they don’t respond, it’s pretty obvious they aren’t interested! Don’t get bitter, move on. Maybe your profile was too negative. *hint*

There ya go! Hope it helps. Or maybe you have some to add?