I’ve been catching up on my blogrolling and I stumbled across Dunner’s posts on gays and public sex. On his first rant, I think he sorta failed to explain himself. I guess after a spirited debate he decided to clarify his positon. On his second rant, he is much more to the point. That said, I still think he is missing the bigger picture.
First off, I have a lot of respect for Dunner and he is one of my favorite reads. I often find his rants to be very insightful and fair minded. I’m usually in agreement w/him on most topics. I think he is more articulate than I am which only serves to increase my interest. That said, I do find at times, like today, our opinions differ. I think it has a lot to do w/age. Granted at 34, I’m only 10 years his senior. But 1o years on the hard side of life can be a good teacher. From what I’ve read of Dunner, his life, while not w/o tribulations, has been blissful by my own standards. If anything, I’ve learned that when it comes to life and society, there is never an easy answer or quick fix as it were.
In a nutshell, Dunner states that if we ever expect society as a whole to accept us then we have to curtail our promiscuity in public.
It’s the same reason why we need to expose hypocrites like Jim West, politicians who spit antigay rhetoric and then expect pity when they own up to their homosexual behavior. If we create a society where it’s clear that gay relationships and gay sexuality are to be as respected as their straight counterparts, life will be easier for all homosexuals, and true equality will be found. But if we’re to expect to gain equal respect for gay sexuality, we gotta cut out the tomfoolery in the public steam room and instead find healthy ways to express it.
As I see it, that is sorta putting the horse before the wagon. If we are still battling for the right to even get married, how can we expect to “find healthy ways to express it.” Our over zealous need for sexual release stems from our constant repression. So from my perspective, we have to fix the problem itself before we can work on fixin the symptoms it has created.
Pop on over and have a read if you haven’t already. Andymatic also weighs in on the subject. What say you?
aww fuckin ipaq keyboard…
As I was saying, the rules are in place that mirror society’s own guidlines.
I dunno, I suppose it’s hard for someone who has grown up without the sexual persecution or repression that those in the homosexual communuty have, maybe you would think me speaking out of turn. there is more I could say, but I am tired of pecking on these tiny ass keys. Oh, the laptop would have been better.
Mwah
Ok, lets try this again as obviously the first part got lost in neverland (not Michael Jacksons)
But what I was trying to say is that in a way Dunner is correct. I would love to see any straight man or woman get away with the things that gay men and women get away with in regards to open sexuality. There is a line for public places and what we can do in them. If as a straight man I was to proposition for sex any woman other than a prostitute, I’m sure that the police would be called. The little nudges, looks, crotch rubbing. It just doesn’t fly.
If there is to be more acceptance by the general population (the more narrow minded or less accepting) then some of that does have to stop. Don’t get me wrong, I love open displays of affection. Heck, I love open sexual displays of affection whether it be straight or gay. It’s just me. But not everyone is as either accepting, or if you ask some people, perverted.
Damnit, this isn’t the same fucking wording I used the last time. I don’t know that I’m even making the same point anymore. Or maybe I am. But anyone can ask me, and I’ll try and explain it a bit further.
FACT: Nobody will take you seriously while you’re doin’ it in the bushes at the Rest Area. Saying it is “OK” because of uncontrollable “pent up urges” is the same as saying pedophiles are just misunderstood people who have “pent up urges”. Ever wonder why “perverts” are always thrown in the gay catagory? Like it or not, we live in a civilization with certain standards and “doin’ it in the bushes” is not acceptable for any sexual preference.
I never said it was right or wrong. Re-read it. Sexuality gay or straight is a deep rooted part of our id. Pointing fingers at someone who isn’t as well-adjusted as someone else does nothing to help the problem.
Look at gays who dress in outrageous drag at pride, etc (not trans folks, that’s a whole different topic). Some consider that inappropriate. The answer is the same. These people feel a need to act out because they are suppressed. So they dress in a manner to shock or surprise. Anytime the id is suppressed, it finds a way out, regardless of the morals applied.
And using the argument that we should conform out of someone else’s ignorance is not an argument at all.
But when those people with ignorance have the power, we do need to conform to a certain extent.
If that is the case, then why fight for our rights at all? We should just conform to what the ignorant folks in power want us to be? Just because the majority of people thought the Earth was flat at one time did not make it right.
We agree on the problem, just not the “fix”.
Its funny, I live in a small city and its nothing to ride my bike at night through the downtown park and catch straight people having sex out in the open. Last summer we were out boating on the river and we saw a woman giving a man head on the riverbank in broad daylight for all to see. And yet it’s only the gays that get busted. It’s a total double standard.
I believe that we all are repressed sexually, that there are too many rules about SEX/ sexual behavior… that said, I sometimes get embarresed about some of the behavior at the Eagle/Hole in the Wall.. but do I feel that way because I’m not involved or because it is too much? Society says you should not do this or do that… But most of the time “Society” doesn’t say enough, that we must respect different opinions, point of view. Do we feel this way (about behavior) because we aren’t getting enough, or because we want to control others, or we think it is bad behavior…
considering outrageous drag… maybe it is just fun? I have never done drag, but sometimes I wish I had the balls.. to be that free, to be able to enjoy myself that much… I look at it that way, but maybe “drag queens” do it for another reason…