After my last dating rant, I was reminded of something I used to tell Apple guy. It was awhile after we’d split and he’d started dating other guys. He would get frustrated because no matter what he told said guy, they always seemed to end up wanting more. Basically I told him, “no matter what you say, actions speak louder than words. When you spend quality intimate time with someone, they are prone to getting the wrong idea.”
When I look back at my previous dates with the 2nd guy, I broke my own rule. lol As mentioned, I’d told the guy several times that I wasn’t looking for anything serious. We discussed it openly and I even said if it came down to it I’d prefer him as a friend first. But, we’d also spent so quality intimate time together. [1]Several times actually… hehehe So in a round about way, I can sort of see how he might have gotten the wrong idea. Of course, he could have handled it a lot better and “communicated” with me instead of getting pissy and breaking off contact.
The irony here was it all started because we were having issues with both of us being mostly top. [2]We actually flipped for each other. Yes, you read it right, I gave it up. lol He did much better than I did though. We’d also discussed the option of finding a willing third to accommodate our situation. This is where he got jealous. I’d found a willing third and was expressing that he would not ‘work out.’ This is primarily why I got so frustrated with him for his behavior.
Anyway, next time I’ll have to make sure to not break my own rule and keep the boundaries more defined I guess.
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Want to start a cross-country, long-distance casual relationship? LOL 😉
Hey, Moby, I thought you had written in your blog – possibly years ago – that you thoroughly enjoyed bottoming but ended up topping a lot because so many guys you met weren't versatile. Am I misremembering that or have your sexual feelings changed over time? Greetings from Seattle.
@ingvisson ~ I did actually. Good memory. I go thru phases but at the time I wrote it I was still struggling with self-esteem issues and felt less pressure to be the bottom. Ironically, back then I had a couple guys break up with me because I was the designated bottom but I never put out.
I like to think I've overcome said issues. I don't think my tastes have shifted as much as I've just grown into myself. If that makes sense? These days I much prefer to top. I rarely feel the need to flip but every now and then kitty still needs a good scratch.