I just ran into a friend who I haven’t seen in months. I’d sort of written him off. After he moved here from the South, he promptly fell into an LTR and then disappeared. You know the story. Boy meets guy, boy becomes consumed by guy and drops everything else in his life. . .
Or at least I thought that was the case. Turns out, I was dead wrong. Boy has been really evolving and learning. He has taken some time to look at his life here and fill in the missing pieces. Sound familiar? lol
Not only is the Guy not consuming all his waking time but insisting he have free time to himself. I know scary huh? I’m so proud of my friend I could cry. [1]I said almost, I’m not that big a sap. hehehe The guy is several years older however, rather than using that as leverage on boy, he is taking the time to help him grow as a person. My friend was almost beaming about everything he has and is learning about himself. His rather backward and rigid ideals have shifted and now it seems he is taking the time to explore what works for him vs trying to fit himself into a mold. I wish him all the best of course.
Considering my own deep thoughts as of late, I can’t help but think I needed this today. I’ve always considered myself very evolved in certain areas and completely bass ackwards in others. I know that may come off as a little arrogant but it isn’t meant that way. I know everyone seems to think something traumatic happened to me recently. I can assure you it hasn’t. I’m not mad, hurt, or disappointed in anyone particular. I’m just learning to listen when life sends me little reminders of things I need to learn. Life, it seems, has been very busy in the last couple of months giving me cues. In the past, they would have flown right by my self replicating bubble. Now, I’m more than a little proud to say, I’m getting it.
So what do all these seemingly random occurrences mean? Good lawd! Cut me some slack, I’m still working on that one. However, I can tell you some of my priorities are and will be shifting. Some areas of my life have become almost compulsive and I’m not liking that. And while some folks will totally miss this part, I’m a big believer in energies. Meaning certain energies attract or repel other energies. It is time to change some of the energies I’m giving off.
I’m excited and a little scared at the same time. The great thing about not feeling very moral is you don’t have to worry about a fucking thing you do. I’m a little surprised to hear myself say this but I am beginning to see myself as a moral person. And why my morals may not be the same as everyone else’s, they are becoming increasingly important to me. Oh my god?! Is this what adulthood is like? It boggles the mind…
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| ↑1 | I said almost, I’m not that big a sap. hehehe |
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what i am hearing is ‘self awareness’ . it’s a nice (and difficult) thing to negotiate in this present time.
Ahh, the art of adult evolution. It’s a long journey, and I’m not sure exactly how far down the road I am…..I think I’m behind you…is that you up ahead of me??? The tales are different, that’s for sure. Each of us on a different time frame and pace. I think the thing I’m most happy about is that there are actually still men around like you who give a shit. Who want to be different today than they were yesterday.
Color me cynical, and of course I don’t know the folks in question, but what I see is Boy was consumed by his relationship, smothered Guy and was told to give Guy space. At that point Boy suddenly “evolved” to the point where he had to find a way to fill his free time and suddenly remembered he used to have friends.
But if you get some higher meaning out of this than good on ya.
Lionel – yes you are being cynical but that story certaily does happen. Not in this instance though. 😛
Boy, talk about turning into a “self-actualized adult”. Congrats Moby… 😀
i could have not said it better myself – have been doing through that same thing for the past few months and am making a lot of changes in my life and choosing who and want I want to focus on that is worth something…
Moby, you’re looked up to by me as one of the most “evolved” men that I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know. Arrogance, indeed!