I was talking to a friend the other day and I sort of confronted him on something. He has always had an arrogant side and I was genuinely curious where it came from. Some of it I could sort of be expected as he trends on the very good looking side of things. And while not rich, he has a job that keeps him comfy. One might expect a bit of arrogance from such a person.
The odd part is I’ve never really seen it as a connection for this particular guy. It doesn’t seem, to me anyways, that his attitude comes from that aspect of his life. So curiosity got the better of me and I flat out asked him. His answer surprised me. He said his dad had been on the arrogant side and it was often a way to cover up insecurity. Growing up as a boy he’d picked up on it and grew into using it for himself. I guess to a degree that makes total sense but I don’t think I would ever expect arrogance to cover insecurity. They don’t seem grounded in the same causations, so to speak. I was equally surprised he was introspective enough to have figured how why he does it.
We chatted a bit more and emboldened by his honestly, I asked why he’d never attempted to be arrogant with me directly. His reply was again a bit of a shocker. lol He told me he’d never felt a need to behave that way around me. He also indicated he didn’t think I would put up with it anyway, which is true but not the point. I was surprised here because in a previous rant a while back I talked about discovering friends had been intimidated by me before they knew me. He’d been one of them apparently.
Now that I’ve had to digest it all, I’m still a bit baffled. I’ve always seen arrogance as a wasted emotion. And while I still think that, I am beginning to see the facets of it now. From my jaded world-view, it has always been something I contributed to rich spoiled or super attractive guys. I guess on some level I knew it could be associated with insecurity but I obviously never registered it as a conscious thought process. And now I find myself going back thru memories of guys in my past who’d I’d labeled as arrogant and written off wondering if they too had developed it as a coping mechanism.
I still see arrogance as a wasted emotion. And while it may very well sometimes be a coping mechanism, it is a destructive one. It does more harm than good in the end and should be avoided. Besides, being humble increases a man’s attractiveness. The old adage goes, “you catch more flies with honey…” would apply here it seems.
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Looks and arrogance aren’t always connected. I am extremely good looking and not the least bit arrogant.
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Technology and telecom wise I’m fairly arrogant. But that arrogance comes from KNOWING the systems that comprise each. I’ve trained and had long experience with both.
I feel SUPERIOR to women in grocery lines. I quickly pull out and sort similar items on the checkout conveyer belt, whip out a debit card (NOT a checkbook, glasses, and pen), and never make idle chitchat about “How ya Mama is doing?” I say a simple “Thank you” and get the hell out. It makes me teary eyed when I think of the struggle, but it is my great hope that wicked womenfolk with big purses and idle time on their hands will one day change their wicked and inefficient grocery store ways.
still baffled at that phrase. why does one want to catch flies? And shit is the best way at catching flies.
I don’t know I’d qualify arrogance as an emotion. It’s an attitude, and I can totally see people using it to cover insecurities – whether it be of social standing or education. Oh how you should see my brother-in-law. I know of no one (other than my sister?) who likes him. I can’t stand to be near him for more than 20 minutes.