No, not the kind traditionally taught in schools. I’m referring instead to the evolution of a homo, namely me. 🙂
I was out with my buddy Nikitas last night and at one point during the evening I was suddenly struck by the difference in the person I am today and the person I was 20 years ago. [1]That said, being more than a little hung over today, my brain is having problems functioning. Apologies if it comes out all garbled. Thru a series of choices, I’ve evolved into a completely different person over time.
Some of my decisions and choices in life have been constructive and fruitful. These are easy to accept and reflect on because they represent accomplishment. Take my sense of morality for instance. My parental units catered to the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ method of parenting so you can understand my confusion in that area. But I chose a better path for myself. I chose to rise above the state I was in after childhood and move beyond it.
But what about the choices we regret or ended badly? I used to think if I had my life to do over there are a ton of things I’d do differently. But as I get older I’m not so sure. Those choices had a huge impact on the man I am today. Would going back and having a ‘do over’ turn out any better? Or better yet, having avoided some of the bad choices in my life, would I still be the man I am now? I’m not so sure I would be. The bad teaches us to value the good more. Living a life with the intent of avoiding anything bad is self defeating as it also means you avoid the good. Like the traditional sense of good and evil, one cannot exist w/o the other. They are simply 2 sides of the same coin.
I’ve made bad choices in my life. But some of those choices helped to shape me into a better man. Am I perfect now? Hell no but I am better. Therein lies the key difference I think.
References
| ↑1 | That said, being more than a little hung over today, my brain is having problems functioning. Apologies if it comes out all garbled. |
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I've been following your blog for… I guess 3-4 years by now, and I have to honestly say that even just during these years, you've changed fair amount (in a good way). It's fascinating to see people grow, even through the limited source from the internet.
I have to agree with you regarding on choices/changes that weren't necessary welcome to us but actually shaped us and helped us become a "better" person. No one can learn from being correct all the time, as a matter of fact, I think we can only learn from mistakes (by ourselves our others). That's why, when being asked whether I would want to change something that I've done in my life, I often struggle to say any, as I wouldn't be the same person without those events/results.
Great post.
The coolest thing is that you actually noticed it, realized it. Had the head about you to even consider your growth. And then to acknowledge it. There are far too many adults not moving into adulthood nowadays. Enjoy the journey into self-enlightenment!
I often think of the choices I have made. I think of "What if?" scenarios. I keep coming back to the same theme. "Brett… you already have everything you need to make you happy." I do regret not taking more chances in my life, but I think about how lucky I've been living with low stress. My mind and soul operate optimally that way.
I do admire you for getting out the country and moving to several places before settling in SF. That had to take a lot of courage my friend. 😉
PS – Have fun with TJ today.
There are maybe two things I would change in regard to my choices over the years. But overall, my choices were just right for my life.