Well, I’m 3 for 3 in losses for dating this year. lol
I just got a “Dear Moby” letter. The irony is I hadn’t even finished the post about how we met. How’s that for a kick in the rubber pants?
Readers digest version: I’ve seen said guy around since I first moved here. We would always do a double take when we saw each other. However the timing always seemed to be off. Then there were the 3+ years I was with the ex. Fast forward a few more years, we start seeing each other around again.One particular time I stop to say hi, we exchange info but he had started dating someone.
Fast forward again to 2 weeks ago. He says hello to me at Starbucks and seems to want to connect. We have a coffee date last weekend. I got the impression things went really well. He even invited me to go line-dancing after the Easter holiday.
Today, I get a rather ambiguously worded email. [1]So very personal of him Basically, “its not you, its me” sort of shtick. While I might have been born at night, I was not born last night. I can clearly read between the lines. And considering how long its taken us to actually spend any length of time together, I’m not really upset. My real gripe is I wish he would have been more of a man about it. I’d respect him a whole lot more for having enough personal integrity to just tell me he didn’t think we were a good match.
Oh well, as Wanda (from In Living Color) would say, “gurl, I dun burned up another one!”
References
| ↑1 | So very personal of him |
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Sometimes it is "just me". I've been there a few times. It isn't a situation where "we" don't get eachother's humor or share similar interests… it's more I've decided I don't want to talk to anyone or be around anyone (that I can avoid and still remain employed). It wasn't that you had horrible breathe or I can't date anyone with herpes. You're fine, it's just me.
Shit happens man. Missed chances and all that rot.
I thought about not saying anything, and please don't take this the "wrong" way (in a bad way), but…
I just decided I won't share it with the entire blog world; expect an email.
Better you got kicked in the rubber pants now, then later. Since he barely knows you – really knows you – it probably IS him.
Don't lose beauty sleep over it.
Never ceases to amaze me how the best of us are so often single.
*hugs*
C
Sorry to hear that bud. HIS loss for sure. After a couple of actual "dates" woulda been nice. Hard to gauge compatibility only after a coupla hours at Starbucks…Ya want I should play Yenta for ya & find you a nice jewish boy? 😉
Don't you just wish they would be fucking honest and say "it's not me, it's you". Grrrrr.
Fucking chain Yankers. Sorry.
How iritating.
Remember the days when people actually had to TALK to one another?!?!?
I suppose you should be grateful he didn't just post it on your 'wall'. 🙂
His loss….
@AjohnP ~ *giggle* That was funny.
Most people do not know how to tell another person that they are not in to them, or that flirting is okay but that's all that ever going to happen. "It is me not you", sometime is true. If we were more honest rather than being guarded our feelings/egos would not be hurt as often.
The hunt continues…
Moby, next one will be better for sure!
Umm… I would take the time to play in your head the coffee date. There must have been something said, done, or not said that was a turn off.
Were you letting him talk about himself? Did you talk too much about yourself? Were you too animated? Sleepy eyed? Make bad jokes?
Just think back to that coffee date and use that to make a great impression upon #4.
@brettcajun ~ There very well could have been something that "turned him off". That said, I was direct, honest, and sincere in my statements and have no regrets.
Awww… and I thought when you tweet about "Dear Moby" I thought it was just a hate email… I'm sorry Moby. Keep your chin up. *hugs*
perhaps the eyebrow glitter put him off?
as long as there are gay men, there will always be "it's not you, it's me."
one thing i have learned in all of these years (just from personal experience) is that a LOT of men claim to want the "big picture": the boyfriend, the commitment, etc…but when it comes right down to it, they would rather wallow in "why can't i meet someone great?" when "great" might be right in front of them. his loss is going to be someone else's gain. and you damn well know it. 🙂
@chuck ~ Very very true. I'm all about commitment but I have a sneaky suspicion it was my bluntness about not being into total monogamy that might have done it. (I found out more info thru a mutual friend later) A bit noteworthy, why he couldn't just own up to it?