I decided to make this post public however, it is a bit on the adult side (and maybe even a little gross). Feel free to click thru if you like but, you were warned!
Continuing in my monthly updates of “What Would Moby Do?”, a question that seems to come up often with “newbies” to the world of gay. I figured why not tackle it here and spread the word. lol
Q: How do you properly “prepare” for sex if you plan to be the bottom?
A: I find this to be a very problematic error for guys who either don’t know or are afraid to ask. And let me tell ya fellas, as a guy who does like to top, a dirty bottom ruins the sex for me. We are pretty much done if you can’t clean yourself in advance.
The simplest answer is douche. It is by far the most effective method. If you don’t have privacy issues or other “concerns”, I highly recommend getting a shower attachment.
Easy to install and provides a clean, safe environment for doing the “job” effectively. If you are overly tight, it often comes with a couple of different sized attachments. You can also grease it up a bit w/lube. [1]Be warned, lube in the shower can be tricky! Take it from someone who KNOWS! LOL
If that doesn’t work for you, there are always portable and easy to obtain Fleet enemas from your neighborhood drugstore. They come with or without fragrance. Clean water is best. Buying might be a bit awkward but I believe you can also buy them online in bulk. Same premise as above but less confining to your home. Of course, there are a variety of portable reusable bulbs [2]imagine a bulb used for removing ear wax, but for the other end. on the market you can choose from as well.
There is what I call the “rhythm method” but I don’t recommend it. This basically involves knowing your biological cycle and trying to avoid anytime that might be problematic. This really doesn’t guarantee success, if you catch my meaning.
Fasting does help obviously. It takes between 7-12 hours for your body to process a meal all the way thru to completion. If you have some hot fun planned, you can use it in conjunction with the options above. Being someone who loves to eat, this never works for me.
Grossed out? That may be, but imagine the alternative of not knowing. lol Now you KNOW! You have no excuse for being a dirty bottom anymore.
gross? No. Good advice? Si
The problem with bulbs is they can inject air up there and make for cramping. The powershot is great but rarely portable. And some need more than one administration. …I'm just sayin'
Where was the gross part… I must have missed it.
Oh well, I recommend the bulb method. It worked best for me. Tips: 1. Use warm water (NOT hot but warm) – it feels best and helps you to relax; 2. Just before insertion squeeze out the air till water is coming out of the bulb tip and then insert (avoids the extra air getting forced up your ass); 3. use a bit of lube on the shaft of the bulb to help in insertion (even though it's thin it will slide right in with lube). I also found doing the prep work quite the turn on and wanted my partner to "assist" in the process.
Thanks for spreading the word Moby!
We purchased the Dymo Douche online a couple of years ago… best investment we have ever made… Even when you are not prepping for a romp in the bed, sometimes it helps get things moving again (if you know what i mean)… When we expect a playmate, we always have a rinse… no one likes to eat a dirty bottom…
Actually I'm thankful for the advice…It took me a while to figure it out when I came out. Of course, I haven't have a need to use one yet…dammit!
Oh Lord!
Thank you Moby for this very important public service announcement.
I want my partner to enjoy the ride (if he can handle it) and not have to worry about what might happen. Especially if I'm getting humped mercilessly on the very expensive Persian wool rug in my living room!
I do agree that cleaning the basement makes for a more enjoyable time for all parties involved. However, issues sometimes do come up, but they shouldn't be showstoppers. I mean, if you wanna play the game, sometimes you may get a little mud on the helmet.
I'm just sayin'…
@Cb ~ my 'helmet getting muddy' is a show stopper for me. We can resume after it gets clean but if that isn't an option, I'm done.
I love that you wrote about this… so many people just don't know. And nothing kills a boner more than that stinky odor. Luckily, I've only experienced that once.
and keep away from mexican food if you know in advance
Dear Miss Manners,
If one is having a trick over and wishes to be a good host, should one offer the use of one's own douching facilities to one's guest? Or does modern etiquette require that a bottom always travel with his own irrigation equipment?
Best wishes,
"Trying to bring some gentility and manners to the rugged Northwest."
Some of the younger generation of bottoms could use this information, GREATLY!
I love the WWMD series. I'm not sure why guys get all weird with talking about this. It's a lot more awkward to have to take a "break" and clean up. ew.
I think y'all are WAY too uptight. Hello, you're fucking an ass, it comes with the territory. Do you really only have sex when you are "prepared" for it? If my boyfriend came on to me or vice versa and then said, wait a sec I gotta rinse out (or asked me to), that would be the end of it right there. I've never dated a guy that was as, excuse the term, anal retentive, as the comments I'm seeing here.
@finn ~ Mental note to self: no sex w/Finn 😛