Preggars

I think I might be pregnant.  I’ve been craving a wide variety of foods lately but specifically candy.  I rarely eat candy beyond the weekly Hot Cookie venture.  Lately, I can’t seem to satisfy my sweet tooth.  Today’s sugary indulgence involved half a box of chocolate covered cherries. 

I got one of those home pregnancy thing-a-ma-jigs, the plus and negative sign both lit up when I passed it thru my stream.  I wonder what that means?  I went to the doc but he couldn’t help me.  He did the whole feeling-my-testicles and fingers-up-the-bum-then-cough sort of routine.  He didn’t really give me any results though. [1]I think I need a new dentist 

My cardio has increased so I’m wondering if that might be it.  Can you get pregnant from doing too much cardio?  God, I hope not.  I so can’t afford a kid right now.  I mean come on, besides work, random trips to bb’s, and getting my hooves clipped and polished, I just don’t have money for a mini-Moby. 

What am I going to do if I am?  Should I get an abort-shun?  Do they sell a home kit for that too?  I could always give it up for adoption.  I was adopted and look how well it turned out for me.  *innocent smile*

Oh well, I guess I’ll figure something out.  I have to finish a chocolate almond bar, throw up, and pick out baby names. [2]Yes, this post was written in jest.  I’m just being silly over my recent sweet tooth

References

References
↑1 I think I need a new dentist
↑2 Yes, this post was written in jest.  I’m just being silly over my recent sweet tooth

11 thoughts on “Preggars”

  1. That is funny! Enjoying the humor! Do I take it that you would walk the child in a "mini-mobyle?" LOL

  3. You can't get it from cardio, but you can probably get it if they didn't wipe down the weight bench.

    Tell me you didn't really spend cash on a ClearBlueEasy thingy.

  5. Lately I've been craving Italian food like crazy. I've always liked it, but never quite craved it like this. I just had pizza tonight, but love the Spaghetti, lasagna, chicken parmesan. I don't think I'm pregnant, and I don't think you are either.

    I do have a box of chocolate covered cherries sitting next to me though, and they are very delicious. The Queen Anne brand, the best kind in the world. I think I shall have one now… damn you, I was doing so good.

    If you do have a kid, do we have to start calling you Mother Mary? Can you name the child after me?

  7. Honey, get yourself on the pill already! LOL

    You know, when I workout hard I crave Chinese food like mad! It must be my addiction for grease and MSG. That, and the CUTE delivery boy!

  9. If you could get pregnant giving bj's, I'd be burping out kids to make even the fuckin Duggars blush.

    Why don't you give a shout out to that supercunt who just shat out 8 kids at once? She knows ALL ABOUT pregnancy. Tell her I said "eat shit and die, douchbag" while you're there.

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