Today, I am pretty much back to my old self. It seems my emotional roller coaster has come to a screeching halt. lol Thanks to everyone who sent well-wishes. I got so many private emails as to make me cry. A few folks seemed genuinely surprised I was capable of feeling lonely. Yes, even a hard edged bastard like myself can feel lonely at times. lol
I scheduled an appointment to go see my doc next week. I can’t for the life of me justify why I spiraled so far downward. I am wondering if my problem might be partially hormonal. heehee I ain’t a spring chicken anymore and it is certainly a possibility. It would explain a lot. Don’t get me wrong, this past weekend opened my eyes a bit. I still plan on trying to find my internal balance again. But, not every problem has one solution so I am taking a broader approach.
And while I had every right to be upset, I succumbed to some pretty negative emotions. I mashed every little annoyance in my life into one big giant pity party. My buddy Frank and TFA were both there for me though. God love’em for putting up with my crazy ass. Both gave me some good insights and their unconditional support. It really meant a lot to me. I hope neither thinks any less of me for my unceremonious breakdown. I find it hilarious they both said, “it just shows you are human.” lol The truth is I often view such emotions as petty and beneath me. So when I feel them it makes me angry at the same time. Something else I need to work on. Sometimes the negative can teach us to value the positive that more. [1]Ok, I feel like I’m rambling here….
So yeah, I feel very much like my old self today. I’m just home from the gym and headed off to work in a bit.
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Man if you only have an occasional roller coaster you are doing great… My Seasonal Affective Disorder has got me going from crying to raving bitch in 60 seconds (my BF Randy is a saint) and I still have 5 more months of it to endure.
Glad you are feeling better. My emotional roller coster is on a straightaway for now as well, maybe even an incline.
I think you’re going through The Change..just like Jessica Tandy told Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes. “What you need is to get yourself some hormones…”
Yeah It would’nt hurt to get your Testosterone leve checked.. But Check first .. Testosterone works the oppisite if you get to much..
Glad your feeling better..
Working out sure helps..
Hugs
David
I am glad the boy from Avoyelles Parish is getting back on his feet and doing well.
@tommy ~ You can spell it but can you pronounce it? hehehe
TFA and your Frank were right. You are not a robot and still needs to let go your emotion flood sometimes! Good thing is that you are back to normal and feel better now.
You’re only human? I’ve been thinking you were a God all this time. I suppose this could all be encouraging for me in some way. Glad you feeling better!
Since your last couple of posts have been somewhat cryptic, I have been at a loss for what to say.
However, I will share this. I once heard a profound saying… “The best people in your life are those that want to be.” This one statement alone is pretty powerful. Once I heard it, I have forever adopted the theme as part of my life.
I think we are all surrounded by everything that we really need. If only we would recognize our good fortune and embrace it, then we wouldn’t spend so much energy searching for it.
@brettcajun ~ Thanks Brett. And what you say is true.
You’ve been through a lot this past month. To not have something come up as a result probably would have been a lot worse for you. Glad you are feeling youself…
The weather in TX has been great – Hopefully it is in EssEff and you can take a long ride on that new bike – I think that would be great therapy!
Hey Moby! How the heck are you…sure hope the spirits are changing after reading the last few posts of yours. Friends….ah hell, I am still learning and redefining what my definition of ‘friend’ is at 48! One would think that as a person, male or female, reaches into their thirties, their forties, their fifties, that each stage would find them that much more mature, that much more “common-sensical!” But trust me…it’s not the case.
I think one phrase you’ve written sums it all…”WE’RE HUMAN.” The Wronged ‘and’ the Doer of the Wrong. And yes, you have identified the fire that often sends people tumbling….FEAR. Just remember this little summation and it’s easier to regain a grip on things.
Hugs bud…hope all is well. Isn’t it great that Rob and F. have a new home. Told him my design ideas were buzzing when I saw pics of his house. And I guess his are too after talking w/ him!!!